Gone Again
by EB1793
Summary: (Book 1) What if you have lost almost everything that mattered to you? What if you don't know who you can or can't trust? Aubrey has made a vow to protect the remaining person she cares for. Whatever the costs... (Eventual DarylXOC) Story follows the series, but with changes to make it more interesting to read. (Story is complete and second book is up!)
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I already wrote like, 40 chapters of this story, and my friends finally convinced me to publish it. I'll probably update twice a week, I'm not sure what days yet. It follows the story line, but not closely.**

 **Disclaimer: I think we all know that I do not own anything except my OC's. Everything belongs to Robert Kirkman and Greg.**

 **Update 23/3/17: This is a re-written version. I am rewriting it all at the moment because my English has improved tons and I cringe every time I read one of the first chapters. I made Aubrey a bit more stoic, also the relationship with her mother is worse than before.**

* * *

 **Who, who are you really?**

 **And where, where are you going?**

One foot in front of the other. Slowly, step by step. My heart was pounding,my hands were sweating, desperately trying not to drop the machete in my hand. I was going through the halls unnoticed, I'd like it to stay that way.

The smell of the dead filled my nose. The stench not only coming from the corpses around me, but also directly from my body. My clothes were painted dark red from the walker blood that I had smeared on a few minutes ago.

I was taking deep breaths, but keeping them quiet. Trying to force my heart to slow down wasn't easy when you were walking in the hallways of a prison, surrounded by walkers who were roaming around in search for their next meal.

But I wasn't scared. I was tense, my guard was up and ready to attack any second. I didn't have time to be afraid, I couldn't be. If I wasn't going to do it then who was?

The first time I stumbled upon the prison I had quickly dismissed the idea of staying there. The place would be too big, there'd be no survey. The place would probably have been crawling with walkers, making it impossible to find a safe room to stay the  
night.

But when my mom and I had found nothing after a week, I decided to give this place a go. I was ready to take a chance, my mom on the other hand not so much. It wasn't in her personality to take risks as big as that. Only after I told her we were going  
to die out there if we didn't find a place soon, she hesitantly obliged.

Getting inside was much easier than I expected it to be. I covered me and my mother with the insides of a dead one and we snuck inside, clearing a cellblock and making it our own.

My hand tightened around my machete handle as a walker made its way in my direction. Adrenaline started pumping its way through my veins and my heart, which I had tried very hard to slow down, started pacing again. The urge to take it down was very hard  
to resist, but I waited until I was sure it would see me as its next meal. Fortunate for me, it stumbled past me, completely oblivious of my existence as it was drawn towards the noise of the other walkers.

As I continued my slow movement throughout the halls, the number of walkers was starting to decrease. Leaving me with more room to move and giving me a chance to pick up my pace.

It felt like ages before I finally came across a white double door. There was only one corpse staggering around it, also walking towards the large group further down. I knocked on the door, getting the attention of the walker.

It let out a choking groan as it made its way towards me. His arms were outstretched and reaching out.I let the walker get closer to me, a little bit impatient at its slow pace.

When it was about to touch me I ducked under it's arms, away from the front of the body. I wasted no time as I swung my machete and let it impale the walker's skull.

A crunch could be heard in the quiet hall as the blade made contact with the rotting bone. The body collapsed before me while I pulled the machete out again. I watched the now officially dead walker in satisfaction, even grinning a bit at it.

I turned my body towards the white doors that, hopefully, led to the infirmary. I had been looking for that room ever since we first got here. At first, the amount of walkers were a bit of a hindrance, but those supplies could not be missed. I needed  
to be prepared for any situation.

I knocked on the doors again, waiting for any sign that would tell me if there was something undead in the room. After about 5 minutes of complete silence I decided to take my chance and slowly opened the door, just a nudge. When I had come to the conclusion  
that there was nothing freely roaming around in there, I pushed the door open and observed the room.

This was definitely the infirmary. There were hospital beds pushed against the walls that were closest to the windows, probably a result of people trying to climb out of here. Equipment could be seen on trays and the counter.

The walls that presumably used to be white, were now splattered with blood. When I touched the fluid I came to the realisation that it was old, which made me let out a sigh of relief. I wasn't really looking forward to meeting other survivors in this  
place.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something sitting in the corner, or rather someone. In one quick second I turned around, grabbing my gun from its holster and pointing it at the figure. Or figures, I corrected as I realised there were two people.

Two dead people. Stepping a bit closer, I saw that they used to be a nurse and presumably a prisoner. They were huddled together and the cause of death seemed to be a bullet to the brain. I grimaced at the sight, feeling a little bad for the two.

But a bullet to the brain meant that they had a gun, maybe even two. I grabbed the bag that lay next to the man, ripping it open and searching through it. There was a can of food, a knife and just like I expected; a gun. I opened the magazine to see that  
there were three bullets left, which would be enough if I ran into a problem.

I thought I'd be best to bring the bag with me, considering it would be useful for any medication I would hopefully find.

I immediately went to work. Opening the cabinet's, searching through the equipment to see if there would be anything useful. I searched the man and woman in the corner for a while, holding my breath at the smell coming from them, but they didn't have  
anything useful on them.

I wasn't a medical expert so every bottle that I found was shoved inside my bag. I'd ask my mom about them later, she'd know what to do with them. She used to be midwife and was studying to become a doctor, before everything happened.

After I had raided every counter and cabinet possible, I thought it was best to leave. My bag felt heavy with all the newfound supplies as I stepped out the room.

The walker I had taken care of earlier came in handy as I cut it open and used its inside's for a new layer of the sickening stench on my clothes and body. There was nothing wrong with being extra careful, especially in a world like this.

The walk back was uneventful. The corpses were being corpses and they didn't notice the living body amongst them as I moved slowly but thoroughly through the gathering of bodies.

I reached the cellblock within 20 minutes, quicker than my way towards the infirmary. The rattling of the keys as I opened the door towards the cellblock must have alerted my mom, because within second she was next to me.

''Hi Aubrey, sweetie, are you okay? Did everything go alright?'' Her voice full of concern reached me and I resisted the urge to sigh.

''Yes mom, I'm fine.'' I forced a smile at her, letting her know I was okay and that there were no incidents.

My mom wasn't too fond of my trips outside the cellblock. She despised them to be exact. Even though both of us knew they were necessary, she would always try to talk me out of it. I knew she was only looking out for me, making sure I was safe and sound  
within the cellblock, but still.

My mother didn't exactly know how to fit into this new world. She didn't have the slightest clue on how to make a fire, or how to secure a place. She was too afraid to hold a gun, let alone fire one. My mom was weak and she knew it, but she refused to  
change. Even after everything that had happened.

''Did you find enough supplies?'' She asked. I knew what she wanted me to say, you could see the hope in her eyes as they stared at me.

''I have to go back tomorrow.'' I disappointed her. Her face fell, but she nodded, keeping silent. I gave her a curt nod back, trying not to let the guilt show.

The remaining time of the day had been mostly spent in silence. Both of us didn't have any clue as to what we could talk about and we also didn't have anything to say to each other. So my mom stayed in her cell, reading or cleaning up, while I made sure  
everything was secure in the cellblock.

I had just checked the hallway right outside the cellblock when gunshots were heard. At first I thought they had come from inside, which made me worried about my mom, but after another round of fire I realised they were from outside the building. I had  
locked the cell door behind me and rushed over to my mom, who was already panicking.

''What's going on?'' She asked as I appeared around the corner, gun out of my holster in case anything were to happen.

''I don't know,'' I answered truthfully, ''Stay in your cell.'' The face my mom made suggested she didn't like the fact I was ordering her around, or perhaps she just didn't like the order.

''What if they need help? We have medicine, we could help.'' She was almost begging me at this point. It was in her nature to help everyone that needed it. That probably came with the job when you were a doctor or midwife.

''We need to take care of ourselves.'' I told her, ''I have to think about you first, I can't put you in any danger.'' I said, showing a little bit of concern. My mother pressed her lips together for a moment, thinking about it. I knew that she knew I  
was right, she would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed.

''I'm sorry,'' I said meaningless, placing a hand on her shoulder. The gesture felt weird and uncomfortable, not expressive like I had wanted it to. So my hand lingered there for only a second before it returned around the gun.

''Aubrey, you can't push everyone away. You have to give someone a chance.'' I clenched my jaw at her words, not wanting to hear it. I took a sharp breath in through my nose and looked at her.

''This isn't about me.'' I said indignantly. I was trying to come up with a way to change the subject, but nothing popped into my head.

''Sweetie please, you honestly-''

''This isn't about me!'' I interrupted. The volume of my voice scared her and she winced visibly. I immediately backed off, shocked at the anger I had shown towards my mom. I cursed under my breath before turning around and walking away from the cells  
and into, what used to be, the public room with tables and chairs.

I sank down on the ground and placed my head in my hands. I screwed up, again. It seemed like that was the only thing I was good at nowadays. Pissing people off, scaring my mother and continuing shutting everyone out.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair hastily. I decided not to think about it anymore, the damage was done and nothing could change that.

I readjusted my gun in my hands, making sure to point it at the door. It was the only entrance from outside. If someone was going to come in, It would be through that door.

As the day progressed, the sunlight slowly left, exchanging it with moonlight. Crying soundscould be heard from inside my mother's cell. I felt a slight pang in my heart, knowing I had caused it. But it wasn't anything unusual. My mom cried herself  
to sleep almost every night. Her sobs broke my heart, knowing that it was always my fault. I had done this to her. To us,

The night was spent in silence as soon as my mom fell asleep. Leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Because sleeping was not an option.


	2. Chapter 2

**Update 4/4/17: Completely rewritten**

* * *

 **How can you question God's existence,**

 **When you question God himself?**

 _''No..Please.. Aubrey..'' I ignored her pleas as I loaded my gun, cocking it quickly._

 _''A-Aubrey'' I raised my gun, tuning the woman's voice out, whatever she said wouldn't matter. Didn't matter. I had to do this. There were certain things she didn't understand, this was one of them._

 _That didn't mean I wanted to do this. I didn't, but I had to, so I did. The scariest thing was.. I didn't hesitate a second._

 _I pulled the trigger._

 _''AUBREY!''_

* * *

I jerked slightly as my eyes sprung open, the memory still glued inside my brain. My breathing was ragged and my heart was pounding. It felt like I had gone sprinting.

My hands rubbed my face, desperately trying to get rid of the sleep. I hadn't slept all night. I remember noticing the sunlight was starting to shine through the small windows of the cellblock. I must have fallen asleep after that.

I let out a sigh, resting my head against the wall behind me. Considering the way I felt, my appearance couldn't be any better. I probably had bloodshot eyes and huge dark circles under them.

Pulling myself up from the ground, I ignored the aching of my muscles from spending the night sitting on the cold floor. As I stretched my arms above me, the satisfying sound of my bones cracking made me jawn, my body begging me for sleep.

With the keys in my hand, I walked over to the cellblock. As silent as I could, I opened the cell door. My mother cell was the second on the left, it was the only one that was open. I had tried to ask her to close it, so that nothing could come in unless  
her say so, but she told me she didn't want to feel like a prisoner.

Shuffling over to her cell, I leaned against the door frame. There was something very calming about watching my mother sleep. Her body was completely still, except for her chest rising up and down as she took a breath. Her blonde curly hair was draped  
around her face in an unflattering way and her mouth was slightly agape.

She seemed very peaceful at that moment. Not a worry in the world. It made me wonder what she was dreaming about. About dad? About Teresa or Ian? Maybe she was dreaming about her life before all of this. Even before everything, we weren't the closest.

Both of us were very diverse. Her hair was blond, while mine was brown. She liked fancy clothing, she liked being told she was beautiful. Me on the other hand, I enjoyed pajamas and hated the fancy parties she always forced me to when I was little. She  
had immense social skills, while I was always struggling with the right words to say. She knew how to comfort people, knew exactly what the other person wanted to hear. I never knew, I always ended up saying the wrong things and making it worse.

I turned back around, leaving the sleeping woman on her own.

Nothing had happened last night, to my surprise. Instead of feeling grateful because of the fact that no one had come in, I felt worried. It was bothering me that nothing had happened. I didn't enjoy the unknowing. It felt as if I was oblivious.

I strutted over to the bag that contained the food I had found yesterday on the couple in the infirmary. My stomach started to grumble at the sight of the canned product sitting in the backpack. I reached into it and pulled the canned peaches out of it.

It had been a long time since I had peaches, they were one of the first things people would choose from if they had a choice of food. So as a result, all the peaches or sweet canned product were eaten, leaving us with the food no one wanted. Like canned  
macaroni and cheese or canned hamburgers that tasted like cardboard.

I carefully opened the can, making sure nothing would spill out of it. As I softly chewed on the peaches, savoring each bite, I placed the gun on the table next to me. If anything were to happen while I was eating I could at least get my gun.

My mother came in a few minutes later, just as I decided to stop eating and save the rest for her.

''Good morning.'' I politely greeted her, raising my hand and awkwardly waving at her.

She returned the favor with a small wave along with a polite smile. Her eyes were red, confirming that she had cried herself to sleep again. The dark circles under her eyes had slowly faded though. I hoped this meant she got more sleep at night, not that  
her body adjusted to the lack of sleep.

I passed her the can of peaches in a silent gesture. She slowly sat down next to me, wincing a bit. I imagined her muscles ached from the terrible bed. The aging didn't help either, it only made her more vulnerable.

I picked the dirt out from under my nails, a nervous habit, as I waited for her to finish her food. This community room was the first place you'd enter if you came inside the prison. With the shots that were heard yesterday, I didn't feel like this area  
was safe anymore. My eyes kept flickering over to the door that led outside. I was uncomfortable, my gut was telling me to be ready. To keep my guard up, so far my gut has barely been wrong.

''Have you been up all night?'' She questioned, concern took over her features as she placed the fork back on the table, already knowing the answer. ''You need to sleep too, this is not healthy for you.''

I knew she was right, of course I did. But I could handle it. I havehandledworse things than missing a night's sleep. She knew that. Sometimes it surprised me how 'normal' she still was. She had barely changed. She was still worrying over  
the smallest things, always thinking about how everything would go after the military came to our rescue. I guess she tried to hold on to what the world used to be. Somewhere, I envied that.

''Do you want to take over then?'' I grabbed the gun from the table next to me and handed it to her. My mother leaned backwards, wanting as much space between her and the deadly weapon. Her eyebrows pulled together slightly in fear and she pressed her  
lips together in a horizontal line.

''That's what I thought.'' I mumbled when she didn't answer, removing the gun from her vision and placing it next to me on the bench. She'd probably relax a bit more if she didn't see the weapon.

My heart missed a beat when I heard a thump outside. Muffled voices could be made out from outside the prison. The people were probably right outside and by the sounds of it, they were taking down walkers.

They must be with quite a lot of people then. I imagined dozens of persons killing walkers and me and my mom were next.

When I turned my head to look at my mother, I knew she had heard it too. Her eyes were wide with surprise and fear and her hand was hanging in the air, frozen in her movement. Within seconds, I had my gun, checking the magazine even though I knew exactly  
how much I still had left.

''Get in the cellblock and lock the door behind you.'' I ordered my mother who now stumbled up from the bench. She blinked a couple of times, trying to comprehend what I had just said. She didn't really operate well in stressful situations. When I noticed  
she finally did understand what I was saying, she opened her mouth to object.

''But Aubrey-''

''NOW!'' I barked back at her, not even caring how insensitive or rude I sounded. I threw her the keys, which she barely caught, and glared at her. I hoped it would have some sort of eye-opening effect and fortunately it did. She hesitated for another  
second before turning around and running over to the cellblock.

When I heard the door close and the keys rattling as she locked it, I let out a sigh. My mother was safe. It was a slight weight lifted off of my shoulders, now I could focus on what was actually happening.

I figured I still had a few minutes left so I ran over to the cell's where my mom was.

''Mom, give me the sniper.'' I order, pushing my hand through the railings and reaching out. She hurried over to my cell and grabbed the sniper. She stumbled over to me and clumsily handed me the weapon. With my other hand I placed my gun in my holster  
as I pulled the sniper through the cell door. She also handed me a box of ammo, which was already half empty.

I hurried up the stairs and onto the balcony so I had a better and safer position. Adjusting the sniper against my shoulder, making sure everything was locked and loaded, I took a deep breath. I sincerely hoped that no one was going to die today, but  
it sure as hell wasn't going to be me.

* * *

I had waited for ten minutes when I heard the outer door being slid open. I couldn't help but visibly flinch at the loud sound of the security door. When the second door opened and someone slowly stepped forward, my heart picked up its pace.

I couldn't really see who it was, but it was definitely a he. His footsteps were slow and careful as he made its way to the middle of the room. Other people followed him, so far I counted 3 others.

''Not one step further.'' I called to him from above. The man froze on the spot, his head turning my way to see where the sound came from. The sniper was aimed directly at the man's head, ready to strike if he made any sudden movements.

''I want everyone to walk to the middle of the room, so I can see you.'' I spoke up, slightly readjusting my hands since they were starting to sweat. ''And don't get any idea's. I won't miss.''

One by one, the people in the room walked over to stand next to the first man, who I assumed was their leader. There were five people standing in the room, excluding me. There were 4 men and one woman and they were all looking at me.

''Drop your weapons.'' I ordered. There was a slight second of hesitation, which I took as a sign to cock my sniper, letting them know I was serious. ''Now.''

They slowly bent down and placed their weapons in front of , knives, a bat and even a crossbow appeared on the ground and I had to say I was impressed by the variety of weapons they had. I only had a machete and 3 guns, which was enough for me, but not  
really that exciting.

''Slide them across the room.'' I had to make sure they wouldn't suddenly attack me. I wasn't planning on being ambushed by five guys. When they did as I said, I got my handgun out of my holster and cocked it. Their bodies tensed at the sound. Uncocking  
the sniper, I swung it over my shoulder. I stood up, aiming my gun at the group and slowly walking down.

I needed to look at them, see if they could be trusted. If they really were good people then they wouldn't attack me. And if they were, I had just made a horrible decision. As reached the floor the group was currently on, I ignored their curious, some  
angry, looks and shuffled over to the cellblock, keeping my eyes on them.

''Mom.'' I sternly said and she appeared from her cell. I handed her the sniper and she shakingly took it.

''Aim at them.'' I prayed she wouldn't ask question or tell me she didn't know how to use it. Fortunately she didn't and she awkwardly placed the sniper on the railing of the cell door. I knew that if the group would take a good look at her they would  
easily figure out she had no idea how to use a gun, so I swiftly directed the attention back to me.

''Talk.'' Was the only thing I said.

From this distance I could see them a lot better. The person that stepped forward had curly hair that was bathing in sweat. His clothes suggested he was a cop, maybe even a sheriff, but I didn't have that much knowledge of the police department. His hands  
were up as a sign of defeat.

''I'm Rick,'' He introduced himself. ''We weren't aware that anyone already lived here.'' I noticed the southern accent. It wasn't unusual around this area, but still. It didn't really matter where you came from anymore, everyone was scattered around  
the US and you met all kinds of nationalities.

''We're not looking for any trouble. We just need a place to stay.'' My raised gun wavered slightly, before bringing it back up. These guys looked like they needed a good night's rest, more than I did. But how could I possibly decide if they were trustworthy?  
I would put my mother's life on the line, I would put my life on the line.

''Are there more of you outside?.'' I asked, nervous that they would just barge in here, assume the worst, and kill me without asking any questions.

''We're with 9,'' There was a slight pause as he seemed to collect his thoughts, ''Soon to be 10.''

Well shit.

''You have a pregnant woman?'' I questioned, just to be sure that I understood.

Rick nodded shortly and I lowered my gun, frustrated. I wasn't going to kill of someone who had a pregnant woman.

I collected the weapons of the people that were standing in the common room and handed them over to my mother, along with all of my weapons. To make sure they knew I wasn't going to do anything.

''Maggie and T-Dog, you guys can go and get the others. Daryl, Glenn, you stay with me.'' Rick ordered and the woman and a dark skinned male walked out. An Asian male stayed with Rick. The other man that stayed here was the owner of the crossbow, he was  
staring me down, observing me. I narrowed my eyes at him, not happy with him at all. If someone here was going to cause any trouble it would be him.

''I've been here for a month or so. This cell block is secure and I have already found the infirmary. Furthermore, I haven't scouted the place out that much, since I'm the only one who is really capable of doing so.''

''What about your ol' lady over there.'' The crossbow person spoke up.

I almost scoffed at his words, the thought of my mother going out there on a supply run almost hilarious.

''No, my mom doesn't do those things.'' Was all I said.

At that moment the rest of the group's people came walking in. There was an old man, a woman who seemed to be slightly younger than my mother. After them, the expecting woman came wobbling in, she was heavily pregnant and I barely refrained myself from  
staring at her. Next to the woman was a boy, who couldn't be older than 11 years.

Rick introduced every one of them to me. The older man was named Hershel. The woman was named Carol. The boy was named Carl and the pregnant woman who was also the mother of Carl, was named Lori.

Crossbow guy was named Daryl and the asian male was named Glenn. Glenn's girlfriend was named Maggie and the dark skinned man was named T-Dog.

''Home sweet home,'' Glenn mumbled as hem was carrying their stuff inside.

I still wasn't sure how to feel about the situation. Rick and I had decided that they could stay here. Since they had a pregnant woman and a kid. I mean, who could send those back out into this world. And now I had seen how far along Lori was, I didn't  
regret my decision. Lori seemed as if she could pop any minute now.

''It's secure?'' The woman questioned, looking around her at all the open cells.

''This cell block is.'' I spoke up. I realised that not everyone might know who my mother and I were so I took it upon myself to introduce us. ''I'm Aubrey and that's my mother Jennifer.'' I pointed at my mother who was making an attempt at cleaning up  
the cells.

Slowly everyone had started to pick out a cell and settle in. Daryl had decided to sleep on the perch since ' _He wasn't sleeping in no cage_ ' and Lori and Rick were still watching everyone go. I stayed behind, watching everyone go.

Lori turned to Rick, placing a delicate hand on his arm.

''Thank you.'' She expressed, but Rick refused to even glance at her and walked away. She looked heartbroken at the rejection, but quickly gathered herself and bent down to pick up her bag.

''I'll get it.'' I said, trying to show no emotion whatsoever as I grabbed her bag and swung it over my shoulder.

''Thank you.'' She said again, only this time it sounded less sincere. I mumbled something under my breath before walking over the Lori's cell.

Ignoring Daryl's observational eyes.

* * *

 **Thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Update 7/4/2017: Completely rewritten so it's less cringy. Enjoy.**

* * *

 **But after all I've said**

 **Please don't forget**

''I ain't wearing this shit.'' Daryl mumbled as he dropped a slimy helmet back on the table.

Apparently the commotion I had heard yesterday was them, taking out walkers. All of them. The whole outside area was cleared of anything undead. So this morning we had searched the remaining corpses, looking for anything useful.

There had been grenades, knives even a few guns, and riot gear. Only the riot gear had clearly been worn. The suites smelled like death and other body fluids thrown together. So, I understood Daryl's contempt at the thought of wearing the gear.

''We could boil it.'' T-Dog optioned, but when he picked up a glove and watched something drip out of it, he wasn't so sure anymore.

''There ain't enough firewood in the whole forest no.'' Daryl fiercely objected. He grabbed a baton and swung it a few times, getting a feeling of the weapon. I wondered if he'd let me use his crossbow once, I've always wanted to know how a crossbow or a compound bow would feel like to shoot.

I was hanging back, keeping an eye on everyone. I could see my mom from here, she was with Lori. They were probably talking about the baby or the pregnancy, because Lori seemed very pale and nervous. My mother seemed to enjoy Lori's company, as well as Carol's.

Even though I didn't trust any of them yet, I was relieved my mom had found a few friends. She had been so alone since the start of the apocalypse and the death of- I was just happy she had finally found someone to connect with. Because I sure hadn't and couldn't.

I shifted a bit when Hershel came to sit down next to me.

''I'm not sure I have formally introduced myself. Hershel'' He said, extending his hand out to me. ''Hershel Greene.'' I accepted his hand in a polite manner, but still a bit hesitant.

Hershel seemed nice. He acted like the grandpa of everyone. Apparently he was Maggie's father and the group stayed on their farm for a while until it got run over by a herd.

''Aubrey and yeah I knew, Rick briefly told me all your names.'' I let go of his hand and we both dropped it. I leaned my arms against my knees in a comfortable way, relaxing a bit.

''Only good things I hope.'' He laughed and I offered him a small chuckle.

''Only good things, I promise.'' I joked. He also informed me very briefly of what had happened at the farm. How Carl got shot and how his view of the apocalypse was at first.

''Rick changed that, he opened my eyes to the reality of what the world has become.'' Hershel explained,

''Do you miss it?'' I questioned, ''Do you miss the world before shit went down?'' I looked at my hands and played with my finger as I asked the question. I wasn't even aware of the fact that I was avoiding eye contact.

''Do you?'' He retorted, making me look up. Did I? I opened my mouth to answer. Then everyone at the table, that was full of supplies before but now empty, stood up. They were gearing up and when I looked at Hershel again I noticed he was in riot gear, also ready to leave.

''You're going on a run?'' I asked and Hershel nodded.

I stumbled up from the ground, excusing myself to Hershel.

''Rick?'' I spoke up and he turned around, facing me. He had been talking to Daryl,

''I'm coming too.'' I announced, leaving no room for discussion.

''I-''

''I know my way around the prison more than you do. I don't know everything, but I could be useful in there.'' I folded my arms over each other.

I wasn't going to let them go in there without me. I had to know if they were to be trusted. Plus, I would take any chance I got to get out of the cellblock. This place could feel suffocating sometimes. I don't understand how my mom hasn't gone completely mad yet.

Rick shared a slight look with Daryl before sighing.

''Alright.'' He spoke up, ''But you're up front, so we can keep an eye on you.''

I wanted to argue with him. Tell him that I was the one who gave them a place to stay. But, I referred myself from doing so, knowing it wouldn't help and only cause problems.

So I gave him a firm nod, showing him I understood. And I did. I knew they had to be careful too, they didn't know who I was. I could be a vicious killer for all they knew

I stayed at the table for a while. I had placed all my weapons it and carefully picked out what I needed. I brought my machete, which I'd had since the beginning of the apocalypse, it was like a third arm for me. I wouldn't know what I'd do without it.

Next up I had my handgun, a Glock 17. Furthermore, I placed a small knife in my boot and another one on my belt, just in case.

''We're going.'' Rick spoke up.

I grabbed my backpack and swung it over my shoulder. There were a few second where I considered telling my mother I was leaving, but I knew what she'd say. ' _Do you really have to go?_ ' or ' _You don't need to go out there anymore, we're safe_.'

But that was the thing. We were never safe.

The flashlights lit up the dark hallways of the prison. It was mostly quiet, the shuffling of the group's feet could be heard as we made our way through the darkness. I tried not to be annoyed with the loudness of their footsteps. Whenever I was on my own I was inaudible, or at least I tried to be. In comparison to being alone, we were being extremely loud.

We were with 7 people at the moment. Maggie and Glenn had joined us, along with T-Dog, Daryl, Rick and Hershel. I was at the front with Daryl and Rick. T-Dog, Glenn, Maggie and Hershel were behind me, following my lead.

I wasn't that much help right now, I had never been in this part of the prison. I always stayed close to the cellblock, even if I wanted to go further out. I couldn't do that, I had my mother to take care of and I was all on my own. This was easier to do when you had backup.

The rattling of the spray can when Glenn drew an arrow on the wall, so that we knew our way back, made me jump every single time. I noticed it was hard to go on a run with such a large group, there was so much you had to watch out for. There was so much that could go wrong.

Instead of getting frustrated at every little thing that happened, I started to focus on my breathing. Focusing on slowing my heart down, made me clear my mind.

Several bodies were littered across the hallway. There was barely anything left of them, everything had been eaten by walkers or had withered away. I guess they had died fairly early when everything went down. I shone a flashlight on them, trying not to cringe at the smell combined with the sight of the dead.

Daryl was walking next to me. Surprisingly he was very quiet. I had noticed that about him. He was really good at sneaking up on me. Whenever I thought I was alone, Daryl was suddenly there, watching me, waiting for me to screw up so he could put an arrow through my head. The sneaking, the silence, the crossbow, it made me think there was more to him that he let on.

A distant thump snapped my out of my thoughts. When I looked at Rick, his face told me he'd heard it too. We were walking closer to the sound, nearing a corner. Rick stopped for a second, to get himself combat ready probably, and swiftly rounded to corner. His gun was raised, but he slowly lowered it as he saw the group of walkers heading towards him.

''Go back, go back!'' He half-whispered, not wanting to attract more walkers to him than he already had. All of us ran back, I kept my machete close and barely turned around. I wasn't very fond of the idea of being jumped at by a walker. I took out a walker that stood too close, swinging my machete into its head. I had no time to watch it fall to the ground, I hadn't noticed that the group was already further away than I was.

Just as I wanted to turn around and run back to them, another group of walkers appeared, from another corridor. With a hard swing I took out two walkers at once, cutting off a part of their head.

''Shit.'' I cursed at myself.

A hand grabbed my arm, pulling me towards it. I turned my body around, ready to cut its arm off.

''Whoa!'' Glenn yelled at me, pulling his hand back. ''Not dead.'' I instantly lowered my machete and followed him as he started to run away from the group of walkers. I pushed several walkers out of my way, before I caught up to him. Maggie was also with him and now the three of us were left behind. Walkers were closing in on us and there were a few seconds where I thought I was going to die, when Glenn pulled us with him.

''This way!'' He yelled, opening a door that led to some kind of machine room. He quickly pulled it back behind him, just in time, as the walkers threw themselves at the door.

I automatically stumbled backwards, in case they broke through the door. But when I noticed that the only way the door would open was if was pushed from our side, I relaxed slightly. The room was barely visible without our flashlights. As we shone them through the room, machines were shown and other technical wires and buttons that I had no understanding off.

''What if this is the machine that provides electricity?'' I questioned, taking a step forward towards the machines.

''You mean the generator?'' Glenn asked.

''Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant.'' I nodded, looking through the room. Maybe there was something useful around here. If we could just start the power back up, that'd save us a whole lot of trouble when we were going to look for the rest of the group.

We all turned around when the banging on the door stopped. Maggie pressed her ear against the door, trying to figure out if they were still outside.

''There walking away.'' Maggie softly spoke, trying not to draw any attention back to us. She pulled her knife out of her holster again and slowly reached out to the door. As slowly and inaudible as she could, she opened the door. Just a tiny bit, to see if every walker was gone.

Maggie opened the door completely and stepped out into the halls. Glenn was behind her and I was shuffling somewhere behind Glenn. My machete was drawn and I felt anxious, knowing that the walkers were close. We just needed to be completely quiet.

That's when a terrifying scream was heard throughout the corridors of the prison. Goosebumps appeared on my skin and I knew that whatever it was, it was bad. Within seconds Maggie and Glenn bolted towards the sound and I quickly followed them.

When we rounded a corner, Maggie let out a scream too. I believe she screamed 'Dad' but I couldn't hear probably by the sounds of gunfire and walkers closing in on us. I stepped away from behind Glenn so I could see what was going on.

Hershel was lying on the ground, clutching his leg. Blood was seeping through his pants and fingers onto the ground. Daryl and T-Dog were shooting walkers. Daryl was still shooting with his crossbow and T-Dog had switched to a gun, figuring there were too many for a knife.

On que, Rick and Glenn both stepped towards Hershel, hauling him up. Hershel let out a whimper as he tried not to lean onto his leg. Maggie was trying to hold back her tears at this point, knowing crying wouldn't help her right now. I shared a look with her and we both understood. Rick and Glenn started to drag Hershel down the halls. We went in front of them, looking for a place where we could put Hershel. While Maggie and I covered Hershel, Rick and Glenn at the front. Daryl and T-Dog covered them in the back.

I noticed my machete wasn't helping anymore, there were simply too many and it took me too long to take them out. So I, too, switched over to my handgun. Gunshots surrounded me and a ringing had started to form in my ears.

''There!'' Maggie yelled, pointing at a white double-door that was chained together with a lock. We ran over to the door and I hammered my machete against the locks. Upon closer look I saw that they were actually handcuffs that held the two doors together, so this was a lot easier to break than actual chains.

Within seconds the door was open and we barged in. I stayed behind by the doors, in case they needed help closing it with all the walkers. T-Dog and Daryl closed the doors behind them and I pushed myself against the door too, making sure no one would come in. Daryl was looking at Hershel and Rick, I knew he wanted to go there and help.

''Go.'' I told him. His eyes went from me back to them, figuring out if he could trust me.

''Go!'' I pushed him away, while turning around so that my back was pressed against the door. I made sure to put my full weight into keeping the door shut. Daryl went over to Hershel and helped hold him down while T-Dog and I were trying to find something to block the door with.

''You can use the crowbar.'' I told him as I glanced at the crowbar in his hand. T-Dog seemed to get the memo and stuck the crowbar in between the handles of the door. It seemed to hold, for now.

Only then I noticed what was going on. Rick had grabbed his axe and had started to chop it into Hershel's leg. Hershel's screams and whimpers had died down and he passed out against Maggie, who was holding him to the ground.

With one last swing, Hershel leg came off, right below the knee. Rick instantly dropped his axe, he looked like he was going to pass out any second. His face had gone pale and he held a hand against his forehead, trying to balance himself.

''He's bleeding out.'' Rick mumbled, grabbing anything he could find to try and stop the bleeding.

That's when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Over by the kitchen of the cantine appeared 5 bodies. At first I thought they were walkers, but they stood still. They didn't make a sound, they just stood there staring at us.

Daryl noticed it too and he whispered. ''Duck.'' Everyone in front of Daryl lowered themselves onto the ground, but I was quickly pulled my gun out, cocking it. It was aimed at them, ready to pull the trigger if I believed they were a threat.

The one on the right, opened his mouth to speak and I immediately pointed my gun at him.

''Holy shit.''

* * *

 **Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Update: Rewritten 12/4/2017**

* * *

 **my peace has always depended  
On all the ashes in my wake **

''Who the hell are you?'' Daryl asked, stepping away from Hershel's body and towards the group of prisoners. They were slowly walking out of the kitchen they were hiding in. One man took the lead and the others followed. The man up front had dark hair that was pulled into a tight ponytail. He seemed to be a Latino. His prison suit was open and tied to his waist, showing his white shirt that was underneath.

On his waist, where the top of the suit was tied, was a small gun.

''Who the hell are you?'' The man retorted back.

I stepped away from the door and towards the prisoners too. If they decided to attack us, Daryl wouldn't be able to handle five guys on his own. The man noticed me walking towards him with my gun raised and he pointed his at me.

I didn't so much as flinch as his gun was directed towards me, I just cocked mine, challenging him to do something about it.

''We gotta go back.'' Rick said behind us, talking about Hershel who was clearly bleeding out. If we weren't going to do something he was gonna bleed out.

''What happened to him?'' The Latino said, gesturing to Hershel.

''He got bit.'' Daryl said, his crossbow was, like my gun, raised and pointed at the prisoners. Something clicked in the Latino's brain and he immediately grabbed his gun.

''Bit?'' He said, he hadn't raised his gun yet but he'd grabbed it and he looked like he was ready to use it.

''Whoa, Whoa. Easy now.'' Daryl said, stepping closer to the man while he still had his crossbow aimed at him.

Maggie was putting pressure on Hershel's wound, trying to stop the bleeding. Rick was trying to figure out how to get him out of here, when Glenn rushed past us and the prisoners.

''You got any medical supplies?'' He said, even though it was a question it sounded more like an order. He walked into the kitchen and we heard him rummaging around, looking for anything useful.

''Wow where the hell do you think you're going?'' The Latino man, who seemed to be the leader, asked. He looked like he wanted to turn around and stop Glenn, but Daryl's crossbow and my gun stopped him from doing so.

''Who the hell are you people anyway?'' Someone else said. This person was very, large. He was dark-skinned and clutching something that looked like a crowbar or a fire iron.

I wasn't going to lie. Being in a prison with prisoners was making me feel slightly uncomfortable. All the days I had been here and I hadn't even come across them. What if there were more survivors in the prison that we didn't know off? Who knew what they'd done to get here. I didn't know these people, they could be murderers or rapist for all I knew.

''Don't look like no rescue team.'' Someone with ginger hair spoke up. He had a dice tattoo on his neck and I wondered what it meant.

''If a rescue team is what you're waiting for, don't.'' Rick suddenly decided to speak up behind us.

At that moment Glenn reappeared from the kitchen, with an empty cart where we can put Hershel on.

I kept staring straight ahead at the prisoners. My gun was still raised and aimed at them, while I heard Rick, Glenn and Maggie lift Hershel up and place him on the cart.

''Let's go!'' Rick yelled as he started to push Hershel towards the entrance. The prisoners started to protest and shout at him to not open the door, because of the walkers. I turned around when Daryl did, ignoring the prisoners and taking down the walkers that came charging at us. We were quick to take them down, their bodies collapsing to the ground in front of us.

We hurried down the hall and back, leaving the prisoners dumbfounded.

When we arrived at the cellblock, Rick started yelling even before we could reach the door.

''Open the door! It's Hershel.'' I didn't see who opened the door, but everyone went inside. Except me and Daryl.

We had noticed the prisoners were following us fairly quick. They weren't that stealthy and kept asking each other which way whe'd gone.

Daryl placed one foot on the bench that was attached to the tables and aimed his crossbow at the entrance. I stood in front of a table, my gun raised and also aimed at the door. I was positioned a bit closer than Daryl was, which would make me a more likely target

We heard them before we saw them. The shuffling off their feet was bare audible as they cautiously entered the room. The leader was the first to show his face, followed by the man with the dice tattoo. After that entered the three dark-skinned men. One was small, but looked fierce. The other was quite large and looked mostly just confused, just like the last one.

Four out of the 5 prisoners showed a slight hint of fear, while there was one who strut forward confidently.

''That's far enough.'' Daryl grumbled, following the group with his crossbow. The leader narrowed his eyes at Daryl, clearly not impressed by the unspoken threat.

''Cellblock C, cell 4. That's mine, Gringo. Let me in.'' He took a step forward, challenging us. I felt tempted to snap at him, let him know it wasn't his anymore. None of this was.

''Today's your lucky day fellas. You've been pardoned by the state of Georgia, you're free to go.'' Daryl told them, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Unfortunately, observing the look on the prisoners faces, they didn't fully comprehend that.

''What you got going on in there?'' The leader asked.

''None of your business.'' I snapped back at him, unclenching and clenching my hands around the gun. This guy made me nervous, no question. He seemed irrational and emotionally driven. If I had to take a guess, that was probably the reason why he ended up in here.

''Don't you be telling me what my business is.'' He raged at me, pulling out his gun within a second. I tensed up and cocked mine almost right after he did. I was ready to shoot him right now, he just had to make one wrong move, One wrong look, and he was dead.

''Chill man.'' One of the prisoners said, ''The dude's leg's all messed up. Besides, we're free. Why are we still here?'' The man tried to reason with Tomas.

''Man's got a point.'' Daryl agreed with him, hoping they would just leave. I hoped they'd leave too. It would spare us a lot of trouble, they should take their chances out there. Just like we did.

''He's right. Just go.'' I added. Only this didn't seem to help at all. Tomas nostrils flared with anger as his eyes snapped over to mine.

''I don't take orders from little girls.'' He stepped forward and went to raise his gun, but I pressed mine against his temple.

''Watch who you're calling a little girl.'' I said, gritting my teeth together. My fingers was dangerously close to the trigger and I had to force myself to remove it, taking a step back before I did something I'd regret.

''Tomas, chill out. Let's just go.''

''Yeah I gotta check on my old lady.'' Another one added.

Tomas seemed to consider this for a second. His eyes went over to me, Daryl and then to the cellblock, where Hershel was being held. His eyes narrowed in on the cell door. The wheels in his head were turning, questioning what would be the right thing to do.

''A group of civilians breaking into a prison you got no business being in, got me thinking there ain't no place for us to go.'' He was motioning with his hands, while one of them still held the gun. Every time the gun went up on the air for a second I tensed, and I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

''Why don't you go find out.'' Daryl grumbled at them. He had been fairly quiet during this. He'd thrown in a couple of comments, but most of the time he had let the prisoners think and make their own decisions. I wasn't sure if that was smart or just plain dumb.

''Maybe we'll just be going now,'' The ginger spoke up for the first time. He had already taken a step towards the exit of this place when Tomas turned around, snapping at the ginger.

''We ain't leaving!''

''Well, you're not coming in either.'' I said moving my arms a bit. They were getting sore, staying raised the whole conversation.

''Hey, this is my house, my rules. I go where I damn well please!'' Tomas retorted.

''This ain't your house anymore.'' Daryl bickered with him. ''World's gone to shit man.''

''This is our prison, our place.''

''How about you go outside,''

Tomas and Daryl had started bickering and arguing, throwing insults at each other. I wasn't sure what to do at this point, it wouldn't feel right to join Daryl, nor did it feel right to stop them. Fortunately, Rick appeared from the cellblock. His machete in his hand.

''Hey, there's no need for this.'' He said, stopping Daryl and Tomas. Just in time, they looked about ready to throw themselves at each other.

''How many of you are in there?'' Tomas questioned, his gun was raised and pointed at Rick now, but he kept switching between me, Daryl and Rick.

''Too many for you to handle.''

''You guys rob a bank or something? Why don't you take him to a hospital?'' Tomas asked. At this point I realised how lost they actually were. How long had they been in that cafeteria? It had probably been a long time since they had met other people, living people that is.

I exchanged looks with Rick and Daryl, wondering who of us should tell them. There was a tense silence as all of us realised they didn't have a clue what went down almost a year ago. As the prisoners looked at us, I think they knew too how oblivious they actually were.

''How long have you been locked in that cafeteria?'' Rick asked.

Tomas changed his grip around the gun slightly and looked at us, noticing the expression on our faces. ''Going on 10 months.''

''A riot broke out,'' The tall one said, ''Never seen anything like it.''

''Ever heard about dude's dying and coming back to live?'' The small one said. ''Crazy.''

''Guard helped us get to the cafeteria, locked us up. He threw me this piece and said he'd be right back.'' Tomas said, gesturing to the handgun he was still holding.

''We were be thinking the army or National Guard would be showing up any day now.'' I thought back to all of the police walkers I had found outside, the ones that Rick and his group had killed.

''There is no army.'' Rick said, and as I looked at the group of prisoners I actually felt bad.

''What do you mean?'' Tomas questioned.

''There's no government, no hospitals, no police. It's all gone.''

''For real?'' The ginger asked, Rick nodded.

The defeat was clearly showing on their faces. They'd all lost something right there, because of us. I can't imagine what it must be like to suddenly enter this world. Yes I had witnessed it, step by step. I had seen my family die, my friends. But they were thrown into this, they didn't get to say goodbye to anyone. I glanced at Rick, knowing he had been thrown into it as well. He was lucky, he had found his wife and kid. I questioned if the prisoners would be that lucky.

''What about my moms?''

''My kids, my old lady?'' One said, stepping forward. ''You know you got a cellphone or something that we can call our families on.''

''You don't get it do you?'' Daryl grumbled at them,

''No phones, no computers.'' Rick said again. ''As far as we can see at least half the population's been wiped out. Probably more.''

All of their faces fell, except for one. Tomas' eyebrows were furrowed, not believing a word Rick just said.

''Ain't no way.'' he said, but by the clenching of his jaw, he just didn't want to believe it.

''See for yourself.''


	5. Chapter 5

**Update: Rewritten 13/4/2017**

* * *

 **Heavy games we play, with this life, that we've been given**

 **In the end we're all just living, all our lives will be forgiven**

We'd made a deal. A deal with the prisoners. We would help them clear a cellblock, one they would be able to live in, in exchange for food. The food they'd had for more than 10 months. Even after 10 months, there was still food left. It made me wonder how many there was to begin with.

This afternoon we would go and learn them to take out walkers. How to live in the new world. They had asked me to join them. Which meant that they needed people or they approved of me. I guess I did well enough last time, to let them join me. Of course, they were also a man short. With Hershel in bed and Glenn and Maggie not leaving his side.

I sat next to Maggie. I had pulled her away from her father for a second, realising she would need some time to distract herself. There was no use in worrying over her dad if she couldn't help. We were sitting on the perch of the cellblock, our legs dangling in the air.

She told me what happened to her since everything went down. How her father refused to see the walkers as dead people, how he believed they could be cured. Rick and his group came when one of Maggie's people shot Carl. They had been looking for a little girl, Sophia. Carol's daughter. And they had found her, she was in Hershel's barn all along, dead.

Maggie told me everything that happened afterwards. They were forced to leave the farm after a herd passed through and survived the whole winter together. To be honest, I was surprised no one had died during the winter season. The walkers may be slower than normal, but people were also slower.

''What happened to you after the outbreak?'' She asked. I turned my head to look at her real quick. Her eyes were still red from the crying she'd done earlier and her hair, like mine, hadn't been washed in a while, making several strings fall around her face.

''We never really stayed in one place, always moving around.'' I half-lied. I wasn't ready to tell her the truth yet. I don't think I would ever be.

''You've been with your mom the whole time? No one else?'' She leaned her arms on the railing, looking at me. But instead of looking back, I turned my head and gazed at the cellblock. The cell where Hershel was held was quiet at the moment. I knew Carol and my mom were there, watching him.

''I was with family.'' I told her, avoiding her gaze. I had tensed up when she started asking about my past, but I tried to relax my muscles the best I could. I forced my shoulder to sag a little bit, to make them look less stiff.

''What happened to them?'' She asked, tilting her head ever so slightly. She was trying to figure me out, observing me. I didn't like it, I wished she'd stop. But I didn't have the heart to tell her. This was the first group I had come across, that I had even remotely liked. I wanted them to trust me, so I could trust them.

''I-'' I stopped for a second. I needed to pick out my words carefully. ''What always happens.'' I lied. I knew she'd stop asking if I gave her that answer, since there wouldn't be anything to ask anymore.

''I'm sorry.'' She apologised, truthfully.

''Thanks.'' I said more harsh than I intended. I clenched my jaw as I stared at the cellblock, forcing the memories out of my mind. There wasn't really any reason to think about it, but I couldn't help it. It has never left my mind to be honest. Not a day went by where I didn't think about it, where I didn't replay the scenario in my head, wishing I had done things differently.

I had been silent for a while, so when I looked back at Maggie I noticed she was thinking about her dad again. I had to do something to take her mind of things, but I didn't want to talk about my family. So I chose to talk about someone else.

''You know I had this neighbour.'' I started, drawing her attention over to me again. ''Her name was Sarah, she was an absolute sweetheart. She had a husband and a kid. She reminds me of you.'' I smiled up at her and Maggie gave a small smile back.

''What happened to her?''

''Her husband and kid were out of town when everything hit, visiting their grandparents or something. So I made her go with me, she made living in this new strange world a lot better in the beginning.'' I pressed my lips together, thinking about her. ''I lost her before she could find her family.''

''I'm so sorry.'' She said.

''Yeah,'' I agreed with her, ''Me too.''

We were walking down the hallway of the prison. I was in the back with T-Dog and Daryl and Rick were up front, leading the group of prisoners.

We had all gathered beforehand, explaining the prisoners how to take down walkers. How to know when they were coming, what to aim for and what not to aim for. They had practically ignored every kind of advice we gave, their ego taking over. They thought they could do it better, since they had been in prison for a reason. At least Tomas thought so. He had given me several glares throughout the day, making me feel anxious and on guard. I was jumpy and refused to leave my gun or machete anywhere. I hadn't told any of the group yet, I hoped it would just blow over when they'd get their own cellblock.

Also the prisoners had finally told their names. The ginger one was Axel. There was Big Tiny, who was the large and tall one, the small one was Andrew and the one who seemed the most rational and clear minded out of all of them was Oscar. So far, I liked him the most. And of course we already knew who Tomas was.

Everything was quiet as we walked through the tunnels. I was keeping an eye on the prisoners, my machete slightly raised. Tomas' hand was clenching and unclenching around his crowbar, I couldn't say I felt comfortable with him carrying around a weapon. But at least we'd taken his gun, for until he got to the cellblock, then it would be his.

''You're gonna hear them before you see them.'' Daryl whispered, sneaking through the halls. Rick was right behind him, clutching his machete.

We all came to a halt when Daryl held up his hand. Even though no one was saying anything before he did, we all got quiet. The prisoner's breathing sped up just a little bit, barely noticeable. The groaning coming from the dead bodies, could be heard as they stumbled around the corner.

Daryl had started to count down from three to one, but before he even got to one, the prisoners charged. With a yell they lunged at the walkers, stabbing them, punching them. Doing everything except hitting the brain. I exchanged a look with Rick before sighing and stalking forwards. I pushed Axel and Andrew aside, grabbing the walker by its hair. I pulled his hair back, looking at the walker's face for a second, before shoving my knife through its skull.

The prisoners watched in awe as they saw the body collapse to the floor. I stepped back into position and raised an eyebrow at Rick, Daryl and T-Dog, signalling to the behaviour of the inmates.

Rick called them back, slightly frustrated.

''It's gotta be the brain.'' Daryl said as a walker appeared from the corner, stumbling over to us. ''Not the stomach, not the heart-'' He fired an arrow right through the walkers eye. ''The brain.'' The body collapsed to the ground, now officially dead. Daryl took three steps forward and pulled the arrow out, wiping it off on its pants. More walkers appeared from around the corner and I glanced at the prisoners, trying to figure out if they understood.

''Got it. The brain.'' Axel said, stepping forward and stabbing the walker in its head. He had a slight smile on its face as the walker crumbled onto the ground, which made me feel uneasy. The rest of the prisoners had started to charge too, except this time they stayed in formation. They didn't run off to get an extra kill, they stayed civil.

As I watched them take down the dead, I noticed we were missing someone. Big Tiny had been beside me during the whole ordeal, but now he was gone. He wasn't taking down any walkers nor was he in the group somewhere. I turned around to search for him.

He was standing several feet away, slowly backing away from the fight. But what he didn't notice where the two walkers that were stumbling towards him, looking for a fresh meal.

''Shit.'' I cursed, before running off to go help him. I heard Rick try to call me back, but I ignored it for some stupid reason. I thought that I couldn't let Big-Tiny die, he was one of the good guys so far. I'd rather have ten Big Tiny's than one Tomas.

When I reached him, he was fumbling with his hammer, trying to hit the walker on its head. When he missed and the dead body was getting a bit close, he pushed it away. Only he pushed it on my direction. The body hit me with full force and I stumbled backwards, against the wall. All the while I did so, the walker had turned around after finding out he had been pushed against a living person. His mouth opened and closing, trying to bite in something other than air.

I placed my arm against the walkers neck, keeping it at bay. There was no possible way I could reach my machete that had fallen to the ground and I wasn't planning on shooting in here. Not unless I didn't have another choice. Fortunate for me, the walker had been handcuffed before it died, or maybe after it died. But this way, it wasn't able to scratch me.

I reached over to my knife, that was in my boot. I had almost gotten it, when there was the sound of an arrow flying through the air. Within the blink of an eye the walker's head was pierced with an arrow. The body froze for a second, before falling on the ground.

I let my arms drop by my side and looked over at Daryl, who was still observing, probably to see if I wasn't bitten. I nodded at him and I flinched when two loud gunshots were heard throughout the halls of the prison. I looked at Big Tiny to see that the walker that was behind him, had been shot through the head twice.

Only no one was really focused on the corpses that were on the ground. Instead they were all looking at Big Tiny. He'd reached behind him to touch his back and when he returned it, it had been covered in blood. My eyes glanced over at the dead walker. It looked like he had pulled itself out of the handcuffs, which had scratched Big Tiny.

''Look, I'm not gonna turn into one of those things.'' Big Tiny said and I pressed my lips together. This was going to be a problem, I could tell. We weren't just going take Big Tiny out, that would be inhumane to do. But there wasn't any hope he could survive that scratch.

''Why don't we just lock him up.'' Oscar suggested.

''We can quarantine him.

''There's gotta be something we can do.'' The prisoners blurted all kind of idea towards Rick. But we all knew that it wasn't going to much help. He was gonna turn and even though I was disappointed that it had to be Big Tiny, I wasn't going to let him turn.

''I'm sorry.'' Was all Rick could say. The prisoners looked at him as if he had just ordered Big Tiny to get scratched by the walker.

''You son of a bitch.'' Andrew spoke, but it wasn't even a second before he finished that sentence that Tomas jumped forwards.

With a big swing, he smashed Big Tiny's head in. My hand automatically went to my gun and I kept it there. I knew Big Tiny couldn't stay alive, I just hadn't expected someone from the prisoners to kill him. Tomas looked around him, his gaze lingering on mine for a second. I was glaring at him, daring him to attack me or anyone of the group. His eyes narrowed in on mine and for a second I thought he actually would charge at me. But he turned back to Big Tiny and started smashing his head in.

I looked away from the whole situation and saw Rick give Daryl and T-Dog a look, before turning to me and giving me the same look. I gave him a nod, signalling I understood.

When Tomas was finally done, blood was covering his face and there was a vicious rage in his eyes. The eyes reminded me of something very familiar and I tensed up, keeping my hand on my holster where my gun was.

My eyes travelled down, towards Big Tiny's body. His head was physically gone, his head and brains were splattered all over the hallway. I felt slightly nauseous as I looked at the body. I took a few deep breaths before looking at the group again. Ready to leave this place.

Tomas and the rest of the prisoners continued their journey to the boiler room. I was behind Daryl and Rick this time.

''Did you see his face?'' I whispered, gesturing to Tomas.

''If he makes one move-'' Rick started.

''Just give me a signal.'' Daryl finished forward, speeding up his walk a bit, to catch up with the rest of the group.

The boiler room was empty, thankfully. We filled the room quickly and walked over to a double door that was almost identical to the one in the cafeteria.

Daryl threw a set of keys to Tomas, gesturing to the door. Tomas stared at the keys in front of him, before looking up and glaring at us.

''I ain't opening that.'' He refused, he pointed his crowbar at the door in front of him. Faint groaning and bodies slamming against it could be heard from the other side, letting us know there were walkers.

''Yes you are.'' Rick stated, gripping his machete a little tighter. We were all waiting for Tomas to do something out of line, we all wanted to end him. I was glad I wasn't the only one anymore. ''You're gonna open that door. Just one, not the both of them. We need to control this.''

Tomas snatched the keys from the ground and walked over to the set of doors. His gaze was confident, maybe even a little oblivious as to how dangerous is was going to be. But his breath was shallow and shaky, suggesting that he was hiding his nerves.

''You bitches ready?'' He said, fumbling with the keys as he stuck them inside the lock. Tomas didn't wait for an answer and pulled at the doors. Except they didn't budge. He pulled again and again, but they only rattled a little bit, refusing to open.

Rick stepped forward, contemplating if he should help him.

''I got this.'' He grumbled and with one last pull the doors flew open, both of them. Tomas stumbled backwards from surprise and held his crowbar a bit tighter.

''I said one door.'' Rick yelled at Tomas, his facial features full of anger.

''Shit happens.'' Was the only thing Tomas said as all of stayed in formation.

I was standing next to Daryl and T-Dog as all of us started to attack the walkers, trying not to get killed. On Daryl's left was Rick, fighting the walkers next to Tomas. Axel was in front of me and T-Dog and Oscar and Andrew were on Rick's side.

Everything seemed to be going okay. The prisoners didn't shy away or hide behind us, they took responsibility and slayed one corpse after another. I kept a close eye on Tomas and Andrew, trusting them the least.

When a walker stumbled over to Tomas. He took a swing with his crowbar. Only he swung the weapon intentionally in the direction of Rick too. Rick dodged it, leaning away from the swing. Before Rick could even regain his posture, Tomas stepped towards the walker and pushed it in Rick's direction.

Rick stumbled backwards, with the walker on top of him. Both of them hit the ground with a loud thud and I looked to my left to see Daryl giving me a look.

''Aubrey watch the gap!'' He yelled before sprinting over to help Rick. This time I actually listened and started to cover the opening that Daryl had left.

I slashed, stabbed and swung my machete over and over until the last walker dropped dead to the ground. Their bodies were now completely lifeless and I felt satisfied with the amount of corpses littering the ground.

Daryl was helping Rick up from the ground, giving each other an understanding look. I stepped closer to Tomas, almost standing next to him. I had my machete still clutched inside my hand.

Rick stood in front of Tomas, staring him down.

''Sorry man,'' Tomas unsincerely apologised, ''Shit happens.''

''Yeah,'' Rick grumbled. He pressed his lips together with a serious face. We all knew what was going to happen, ''Shit happens.''

I guess Tomas knew what was going to happen too. I wasn't really able to see his face from where I stood, but if I had to guess, I would say he looked scared. Which is exactly why he did what he did.

Within seconds, Tomas grabbed me by my upper shoulder, yanking me towards him. I gasped at the strength he put into his grip. I could feel him cutting off all the circulation in my arm. I started to struggle against him, but stopped when I felt a barrel press against my temple.

Tomas had pulled out his small gun, which was now pointed at my head. I instinctively leaned away from the gun, trying to avoid getting shot. The muscles in my body were frozen, afraid that if I made one wrong move I'd be gone.

Even though Tomas had a strong hold on my arm, I could feel him shaking. I didn't dare look at him, not wanting to throw him off and shoot me.

Everyone in the room had tensed up too. Rick and Daryl had taken a step forward as soon as Tomas had grabbed me, but now they were standing still. Rick was holding one hand up, trying to calm him down. Daryl had clutched his crossbow and it was now aimed at Tomas.

''Woah,'' Rick said, ''Let's not do anything stupid.'' Even though Rick's left hand was up, his right was still clutched around the handle of his machete. Tomas' eyes went over to the weapon in Rick's hand, then went over to Daryl.

''Back off.'' Tomas said, taking a step back and pulling me with him. He cocked his gun and pressed it a little harder against my temple. This time I couldn't lean back.

My heart was pounding against my chest and I wasn't really realising what was going on. It didn't feel real. But it was, it was very real.

So when Tomas glanced over at Rick's weapon again, watching to see if Rick wouldn't suddenly attack. I took my chances and grabbed my knife. As soon as I could I stabbed him in the stomach. Tomas gasped and his first thought was to pull the trigger and when he did so, I flinched away, trying to avoid the bullet even though it would be useless.

The gun went off, but all we heard was the click of an empty barrel. I let myself crumble on the ground, letting out a huge sigh of relief. Rick's reaction was fast as he implanted his machete in Tomas' head, making sure he wouldn't be able to do any harm.

Tomas' body collapsed next to me and I tried not to look at him. My heart was pounding and I my breathing was irregular and fast. I leaned my hands on my legs, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm myself down.

''No!'' I heard Andrew scream. When he charged at Rick, his bat was swiftly knocked out of his hand and onto the ground. Andrew's behaviour changed and instead of attacking, he chose to make a run for it.

''I got this.'' Rick said, following the prisoner.

Daryl turned over to Oscar and Axel. ''Man get down on your knees!'' He angrily said. Both lowered themselves to the ground slowly.

''We don't have no affiliation to what just happened.'' He said his eyes wandering around the room, looking for someone who believed him. ''Tell him, Oscar!'' He added when he noticed none of us were really understanding at the moment.

''Stop talking man.'' Was all Oscar said.

I looked down at my hands and noticed they were shaking. Shit, I could have died today. I guess I only realised what just happened. Because of that man I could have been dead. Then the last time I talked to my mom would be her asking me why I left. That wouldn't have been a great last conversation.

''Fuck.'' I mumbled, still looking at my hands. I quickly pressed them against my legs, trying to force them to stop.

''Aubrey?'' A voice called my name, I snapped my eyes over to the person the voice belonged to. Daryl was glancing at me, his crossbow still pointed at Oscar. ''You okay?

I took a deep breath and nodded. I pulled myself up from the ground, letting them know I was okay. Just shaken up. A glance at Tomas' body proved that. Bile started to rise up in my throat as I watched the now dead body. There was still blood pouring out of the wound on his stomach, but his face was expressionless. Eyes up to the ceiling.

That guy deserved what happened to him. I didn't feel bad for him, but that could have been me lying on the ground. Luck was certainly on my side today.

''Didn't think he would'a pulled the trigger.'' Daryl mumbled, seeing me looking at the body.

''Me neither.'' I folded my arms over my chest, sighing.

At that moment Rick arrived back in the boiler room. We all noticed that Andrew wasn't with him. Axel saw it too and he immediately started to defend himself, scared that his possible future could be like Tomas or Andrew.

''We didn't have nothing to do with what just happened.'' He called out and something twitched in Rick's face. He rushed forward, aiming his gun at Axel.

''You didn't know? You knew.'' Rick said, it felt like he was talking to himself rather than to us. ''Daryl, let's end this now!'' Axel bottom lip started to quiver and his voice broke as he spoke up again.

''Sir, please! Listen to me, it was them that was bad. It wasn't us.'' He begged.

At this point I didn't care if they died or not. They could be just as bad as Tomas for all I knew. There was no way we could trust them right now.

''Oh that's convenient.'' Rick spat, sarcasm filled his voice as he moved his gun slightly.

''You saw what he did to Tiny-'' He started and his eyes flickered over to me, ''And the girl.'' Rick turned around to look at me too and I felt uncomfortable under their gaze. ''Please, we ain't like that. I like my pharmaceuticals, but I'm not killer.'' Axel continued and it seemed like Rick was actually listening.

''Oscar here he's a B and an E, and he's not very good at it either. We ain't the violent kind, they were!'' You could see the wheels turning in Rick's head. It was hard, trying to figure out what was the right call. You think you did the right thing, and then it all comes back to bite you. Speaking from experience.

Rick's face softened, admitting defeat. He turned to Oscar, pressing the gun against his head.

''What about you?'' Rick asked. His breathing had turned heavy with his little outburst just now. Oscar was staring right back at Rick, not a hint of fear was visible in his eyes. He didn't necessarily looked confident, he looked accepting. He accepted death and accepted the choice Rick was going to make, regardless.

''I ain't never pleaded for my life, and I ain't about to start now.'' He told us calmy. His hands were still up in the air and were shaking a bit, because he'd been holding them like that for a while now. ''So you do what you gotta do.''

After a few seconds full of silence, Rick lowered his gun.

''We'll take you to your cellblock.''

* * *

 **Reviews are always appreciated :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Update: Rewritten 28/5/2017**

* * *

 **There's no hiding place**

 **Not a secret safe**

 _" –among the infected areas. Military personnel and police forces have been deployed to begin evacuations, and aid will be offered to those in need of medical attention once safely transported to a protected location. It is strongly advised that all citizens stay indoors until further notified and to avoid any close contact with anyone who shows signs of being infected-''_

 _I quickly grabbed the remote, turning off the TV in one swift motion. Dread filled me as the news report repeated itself in my head. They were going to evacuate the city. Things were getting out of hand. I left the uncomfortable position of my couch and looked around my empty apartment._

 _My roommate, Rachel, had left the second she heard about the illness spreading. She took a lot with her when she left. I had desperately tried to make her stay, at least for a few more weeks. But she was dead set on getting her family and getting out of the city. She thought things weren't going to get better, that things were only going to get worse. I thought she was exaggerating at that moment, but it turned out she was right. She promised me she'd call when she found her family, but I hadn't heard from her since._

 _In the beginning it had just been a few stories on the news, nobody thought about it as anything serious. People turning into cannibals, more and more people getting sick. I'd tried to ignore it. I stubbornly went to work every day, ignoring the decreasing staff._

 _I regretted that decision now. People had started running, fleeing, trying to find refuge. The Government had set up camps, trying to keep the situation in control as long as possible, I felt like they were losing it. People were scared and started getting reckless. Gun stores had been sold out ,down until the last weapon. The options were starting to get less and less and I knew I had to do something now._

 _The phone was in my hand within the second. It seemed like my fingers automatically dialed my parents number, my brain was running on adrenaline. I didn't understand the sudden rush to get out of here, I just knew I had to._

 _''Aubrey?'' The low voice of my dad was heard through the device and I let out a sigh of relief, knowing he was alright._

 _''Thank god, you're fine.'' I breathed, ''Have you seen the news?'' I asked him and my dad hummed in agreement, mumbling something under his breath._

 _''We need to get out of here.'' He told me. My thoughts exactly._

 _''Yeah, I'm gonna grab my stuff and come and get you, then we're going to Olivia's'' I said, referring to my best friend. Our parents were friends and got forced us to hang out with each other, when we were kids. Which resulted in us becoming best friends. ''We're going to find a safe place, away from the cities.'' I explained, but I didn't think he was really listening._

 _''Dad!'' I raised my voice slightly, getting his attention back._

 _''Yeah, yeah, I heard you. Just come over here. We'll be ready.'' And with that he hung up. I didn't dwell on my dad's weird behaviour and instead I grabbed my backpack and threw in all the necessities._

 _I told myself not to think about it too much. I grabbed the things I needed and a few pictures from my family, not wanting to leave them behind. My shoes were already on when an ear deafening scream filled my head._

 _''Oh shit.'' I said before I hurried out the door, on my way out I was sure to grab the first weapon I could find. In this case it was a fire iron. I lived in an apartment so the only thing I had to do was open the door and take three big steps before I arrived at my neighbour's house, where I believed the source from the scream was._

 _I knew Sarah was the only one home, her husband and their child were visiting their grandparents not far from Atlanta, so the scream could only come from her._

 _The door was open and I quickly ran in, finding Sarah with her back pressed against the wall. A figure was crawling it's way towards her. I felt the bile rise to my throat when I saw that the legs were chopped off, or at least missing._

 _''Sarah!'' I yelled at her and her eyes locked with mine. Only Sarah's attention wasn't the only one I had gotten, the figure turned towards me and started growling. The eyes of this thing had faded into white, making it look emotionless and dead. The skin had started rippling and there were a few wounds covering its body. I couldn't help but look at the missing legs over and over again, feeling sick to my stomach as I took the creature in._

 _Goosebumps arrived at my skin and I decided to charge at it. I hit it right in the jaw and I shivered when I heard the a cracking sound of its jaw. The impact from my fire iron had caused his head to snap back, but he didn't seem bother by it and continued its way towards me. I charged again, this time hitting it in the head, over and over again. Scared that if I'll stop it would just come back. After hearing the skull break and after it dropped to the ground, I stopped. I leaned my hands against my knees, breathing heavily._

 _''Is it- dead?'' Sarah asked me, her voice shaking with fear. I wanted to answer but the bile rose to my throat and I hunched over to throw up my lunch from today._

 _''S-Sorry about that.'' I apologized, ''I-I think so?'' I said, answering her question, Sarah reassured me it was fine, that she would clean it up._

 _''Sarah, we need to leave.'' I objected, knowing we didn't have time to clean her apartment._

 _''B-But what about-'' She started to object but I interrupted her._

 _''We'll call, to make sure they know you're not here anymore.'' Sarah just nodded, clutching the hem of her shirt. I grabbed her by her shoulders and told her to pack her things, we'd meet by my house. She clearly tried to speak, but instead just settled on nodding. I gave her a firm nod back before returning to my apartment, my fire iron by my side and ready to strike if anything lunged at me._

 _After 10 minutes Sarah had arrived at my house, she was talking to her husband on the phone. Everything was quiet, the only thing that could be heard was the hushed tone Sarah was speaking in. Her voice was breaking constantly and I could see a few tears escape her eye. She was obviously very emotional about the whole ordeal, which was understandable. Her child was still out there and from Sarah's worried tone, things weren't any better there._

 _''Aubrey?'' I looked up from the cabinet, I was checking what food would be the smartest to bring with us when Sarah handed me the phone without another word and I hesitantly put it against my ear._

 _''Hello?'' I said, my voice soft and confused as to why I would talk to him._

 _''Aubrey,'' Sounded the voice of Sarah's husband. ''I want to ask you something,'' he spoke, getting straight to the point._

 _''Okay?''_

 _''I want you to take care of Sarah, she's a strong woman, but I don't know how much she can take.'' He told me, sounding unsure about his wife. I wasn't sure what to say to that. I doubted I could take care of myself, let alone of another human being._

 _''I'll try.'' I spoke, unsure of my actual words._

 _''No'' He objected, ''You need to promise me.'' My throat tightened at those words, how could I promise something when I wasn't sure I could even do it? How could I be sure she made it out alive? But I knew he relied on my. Sarah relied on me. She needed someone right now and if that person was going to be me, then I would make sure I would do it well. I would give it my everything._

 _''I promise.''_

* * *

The following day, I woke up early. The sun was shining through the small windows, illuminating the cellblock. Tiny dust particles were floating in the air. It gave off a sense of calmness, a sense of peace. I reached out the the bunk of the bed above me and gripped it tightly. I hauled myself up and swung my legs over the bed.

My cell wasn't decorated. My mother had put up several personal objects in her's, making it more cheerful. She had placed a photograph on her bedside and a fake flower next to it. I never understood why she kept the plastic flower, but I didn't question it. Mine was empty. I hadn't even tried to clean up the blood. The only thing that changed was the sheets that my mom cleaned.

I rubbed my eyes for a few seconds, forcing myself to wake up. Slight chattering could be heard in the common room, meaning people were already awake. I threw on a shirt, pants and put on my shoes before walking over to everyone.

I got a few awkward 'hello's' from everyone, some still getting accustomed to me. I still hadn't talked to everyone here. Hershel was nice, Glenn and Maggie were too. I had spoken to Carol briefly, since she seemed to hang out with my mother a great deal. Daryl was still to be determined, he has shown himself to be a good person, but I haven't been able to judge him on that yet.

Rick was, how should I say it, interesting. He put his group first, something which I could respect. He also wasn't afraid to kill. He _was_ afraid to take a chance. That was the thing he'd shown me yesterday, when he was hesitating to let the prisoner live.

We finally did decide to get them to their cellblock. I felt bad for the prisoners. Upon arrival, every prisoner in the cell had been shot through the head, preventing them from coming back. Instead of helping them, we left them their. We did enough for them. We could have killed them in the boiler room, but we didn't. We let them live, even if they were a potential threat.

When we came back from the escort of the prisoners, we were excited to hear the good news. Hershel had woken up. He was barely conscious, but he was awake. Maggie and Glenn were ecstatic to know he was going to live.

I sat next to my mother at a table. Not because I wanted to sit there, but I figured that I hadn't talked to my mom since the new group has arrived. We had the occasional 'Hey, how are you doing.' but I never asked her what she thought of everything that has happened. Not that I would be able to now, but just sitting next to her and being with her seemed to be enough for her.

''Good morning.'' I greeted everyone. At this table sat, my mom Jennifer, Lori and Carol. Those were the people that seemed to enjoy my mother's company the most, and the other way around.

They politely greeted me back and continued what they were talking about, which was fruit and vegetables.

''I was hoping we could get a zucchini plant. It's the most underrated vegetable.'' My mom spoke, waving her hands around in excitement. '' You could make great dishes with it.''

Carol agreed with her and started to elaborate on that one time she made lasagna with zucchini. I guess my mother didn't need me next to her anymore.

I ate my breakfast quickly, not wanting to interrupt their conversation, nor participate in it. The cold oatmeal was the best I had had in awhile. The past month me and my mom had lived off of crackers, peanuts and beef jerky. I do not think my mom could see another beef jerky in her life. So after I threw my breakfast back I excused myself from the table and went outside.

Rick, T-Dog, Daryl, Glenn and Maggie had started early that day to get rid of the bodies. When I walked outside, I stopped for a few seconds. Closing my eyes, I focused on the sun on my skin. It felt incredibly nice to be able to go outside again. Rick and the group were the cause of that, so I might thank them for that someday, but today was not that day.

Even though the group seemed to be reliable in general, I wasn't ready to let down my guard. To me, being grateful for anything they did, was just that.

As I started to walk towards the group, I passed a fence. This fence surrounded one of the guard towers, making it comparable to a cell. I stopped walking when I noticed it wasn't empty.

Oscar and Axel were inside the fence, locked in. They were watching me as I took a step closer. Instinctively I wanted to pull out my gun, but they were inside the fence, meaning they had been put there. Probably by Rick.

''What are you doing here?'' I asked, narrowing my eyes slightly at them.

''Ehh-'' Axel started nervously. He held one finger up, in a way to explain himself. ''We came here to be a part of your group. I beg of you please let us in, we'll do anything. Pleasy kind lady, we'll do anything.'' I took a step back, glancing at Oscar. He was leaning against one of the guard towers, not trying to impress me at all.

''It's not up to me.'' I spoke. Axel's face fell and for a moment I thought he was going to cry. His bottom lip quivered and he was fiddling with his hands. My eyes glanced over at Rick and his group, who had just noticed me standing here, talking to the prisoners. ''Sorry,'' I unsincerely apologized, before walking away from the prisoners and towards the group.

I didn't really want them inside the prison. It would be too much of a risk, they needed to take their chances out there. Just like all of us did. They needed to know what the world was now. I didn't trust them either, maybe they were just like Tomas. They were a danger to the group, to my mother. I wasn't going to let her live be in their hands.

When I reached the group, I gave them a firm nod as a greeting.

''What's going on with those two?'' I said, gesturing to the prisoners, as my hands held onto the legs of a walker. I held my breath as I dragged it across the ground, onto the already growing pile of dead ones. Rick and Glenn were the ones closest to me. Maggie, Daryl and T-Dog were busy with parking their cars safely inside the gates.

''Wanted to join our group.'' Rick spoke up, the past tense in his sentence didn't go unnoticed by me. Seeing the sweat that was already flattening out his curls, I realised he had probably been here for a while. Most of the walkers had already been moved and I felt bad for not waking up to help earlier. I wanted to pull my weight in this group and this wasn't the best start.

''I'm guessing you don't want them too?'' I suggested and he hummed at me thoughtfully, his gaze returning to the prisoners.

The cars had been parked inside the field, the walkers had been piled on top of each other, ready to be burned. And were practically done by noon, when Hershel came outside.

Hershel was guided by Lori and Carol, as he was walking down the stairs. His crutches helped to balance himself, while he hopped down. Carl was trailing behind them, observing the man as he attempted his first stroll.

Everyone around me stopped what they were doing to stare at the man in awe. No one had expected him to wake up, let alone walk within the first two days that he did. Hershel was a tough man, I think everyone would have agreed with me if I said so. They stopped by the gate, looking at us and us looking at them.

The moment was interrupted by a scream.

Carol was the source of that scream. Each and everyone of us thought that something had happened to her, but fortunately not yet. Walkers had appeared in the yard and were stumbling towards Lori and the rest.

There was a moment of silence as everyone in the field stared at each other pure confusion as to what was happening, before Rick and Glenn took off running towards the yard. The rest of us quickly followed. The only thing that was going through my mind were the whereabouts of my mother. I hadn't seen her outside yet, which hopefully meant she was still safe inside.

Rick and Glenn were the first to arrive by the gates and Rick was fumbling with the keys, hastily trying to open them. We were all waiting for him to unlock the gates, and as soon as he did, we rushed in. Guns were blazing, Lori was gone, Maggie was too.

Daryl and T-Dog were taking down walkers, clearing a path for Hershel to get inside with Carl. Carol was also shooting her way through. I was surprised with her gun skills, she didn't necessarily looked like it. So I had to say I was impressed.

It was a chaos, we didn't have a plan and were currently just killing corpse after corpse. I was standing next to T-Dog when he commented that the gate was open. I followed his gaze and realised that the gate was indeed open. That was where all the walkers were coming from. The big group was stumbling into the yard, arms reached out to us and teeth clattering against each other.

T-Dog started running towards the gate with only one pistol in his hands. After taking out another walker, I followed his lead. I wasn't going to let T-Dog go over there on his own, he would never even have reached the gate. I put my machete away and decided to grab my gun. I could kill more walkers in less time.

I aimed at every walker that came within a few feet of T-Dog. Only there were way too many. T-Dog fended some off himself, making it manageable. He still wasn't bitten when he arrived at the gate. He pressed his hands against the chest of a walker and pushed it away, so he could close the gate.

As soon as his hands touched the iron fence, I felt another pair of hands grab my hair behind me. I let out a yelp as I felt myself being pulled backwards, the tug on my scalp painful. Without a second thought, I cocked my gun and aimed the barrel behind me. When I pulled the trigger, the hands slowly released its hold on my hair, the walker crumbling to the ground. But the gunshot had been loud and too close to my ears. A beep rang in my ears and I rubbed them to try and get rid of the sound.

That's when T-Dog's scream was heard throughout the field. I looked in his direction to see him pushing away a walker that had just attacked his shoulder. He was quick to gun it down, but it was already too late. There was a growing red stain on his shoulder as blood was pouring out of the wound. His head snapped over to me, his eyes wide with shock, clearly not having processed this at all.

''No!'' I heard Carol scream, as she rushed forward trying to go to T-Dog. I grabbed her by the arm, preventing her from doing anything she might regret. There were still walkers all around us and she was drawing attention to herself.

''C'mon,'' I told her, ''We gotta go.'' T-Dog was making his way over to us, clutching his shoulder and his face twisted in pain. Walkers were surrounding us, making it impossible for us to reach the group that was fighting further away. I spotted the only door that was available for us. The door led to the tombs, an undiscovered part of the tombs.

I grabbed Carol's arm and pulled her with me, knowing T-Dog would follow us. I opened the door and made sure they were inside first before I joined them. With one last look out in the field, I shut the door behind me.

I knew it seemed like we were only trying to get ourselves to safety, but T-Dog was hurt. He smelled like blood, which only attracted walkers and there was no way we could have reached the rest of the group. So, this was the best option. The option where we would live. Well. Most of us.

''T-Dog, We have to get you to Hershel.'' Carol said, trying to keep up with T-Dog. ''Maybe he'll be able to stop the bleeding.'' Only T-Dog wasn't listening. His face was determinant, his eyes were fierce, trying to hide the pain he was feeling.

I had taken the lead, making sure no walker would suddenly pop up and lunge at us. When one appeared around the corner I was quick to take him out with my machete. I led the small group through the tunnels, even though I had no idea where I was going. My sense of direction was horrible and I currently didn't even had a clue as to where we were.

''No, I'll lead you through these tunnels. If I get bitten or eaten it doesn't matter anymore. This is God's will.'' I turned around to take a look at him. He was already sweating, his breathing was starting to become heavy and when he thought we weren't looking he would grimace in pain. I didn't believe in God, never have and probably never will. But if there was one, this sure as hell wasn't his will.

''We are getting you out of here.'' Was all I had said, ''Alive.'' My teeth were gritted together in frustration at the fact that we were going to lose him. Even though I'd get him back in the cellblock, he'd never make it. That thought made me angry, pissed.

My mind was telling me not to care about them. I'd only known them for a week or so. If someone died, that didn't matter. It wasn't my problem. But when I looked at T-Dog like that, in pain and suffering. I just wished I could have done more.

We heard them before we saw them. The groaning reached my ears and before I could even comprehend what was happening, a dozen of walkers rounded the corner. I stumbled backwards, trying to get away from them. I bumped into Carol and T-Dog, who were also backing up. Except there was no way for us to go. I occasionally took out a walker with my machete, whenever I had the chance, but it wasn't enough.

I heard T-Dog mumble something to himself. I wanted to turn around and ask him what he was saying, but he let out an enraged yell and charged with full force against the group of walkers, without anything to protect himself.

''No!'' Carol and I yelled at the same time. The dead ones didn't seem to mind the free meal at all. They started sinking their teeth into T-Dog and he let out a pain filled scream.

''Go! I had to do this.'' Were his last words before a walker sank its teeth into his neck. T-Dog was being ripped apart right in front of our eyes, all while still being alive. Carol was close to sobbing as I pulled her with me. The walkers were distracted, there were only two that followed us instead of digging into their present.

While Carol was crying and mumbling 'no', I wasn't sure what I felt. He had just sacrificed himself for us. He had given up the few hours he had left, to make sure we would stay alive. I had pushed all the feelings aside, because we needed to survive at this moment. There was no time to mourn our fallen. Not right now.

I was quick, but as silent as possible as I navigated us through the tunnels, hoping I would stumble across any sort of familiar place. So far, no such luck. My machete was drawn out and I was using two hands now. Carol was behind me, making sure nothing would creep up on us.

Just when I rounded another corner the sounds reached my ears again. Another dozen of walkers came up to us. I turned us around and started running in the opposite direction. My heart picking up speed and my brain trying not to panic. We just needed to find a safe place, where we could spend some time until everything cooled down. Only it wasn't as easy as it sounded.

We almost ran full force into another group of walkers. If I had to guess, I'd say those were the ones who took down T-Dog. Already starting to spin around to go in another direction, I was stopped again. The first group had caught up to us, we were officially trapped now.

''No!'' I screamed out in rage, ''Fuck!'' I didn't have time to think anymore. I just started to take down every walker that was in my sight. For me, that was the only logical option. We were never gonna get out of this. There was no way that both of us would make it. So I had to make a choice here.

For me it was an easy one.

There were three directions. There was the tunnel we were standing in where we could go forwards or backwards. Then there was a tunnel to our left. That's where the second group of walkers had stumbled out of. The tunnel to our left only had three walkers remaining in it, Carol could easily take them down. Except as soon as we would charge for the tunnel on our left, all the walkers would lunge at us. That would mean one of us wouldn't make it, we wouldn't have enough time.

There were walkers in front of us and behind us at that moment, which meant that the most logical option was to go to our left.

''Carol, run.'' I said, pressing her knife closer to her. ''I'll be right behind you.'' I lied, trying to give her a convincing smile. Except I felt like the smile lacked the confidence part.

''But- No!'' She tried, but I already felt like she knew both of us wouldn't make it.

''Just go.'' I said, pulling out my gun and shooting the walkers. I had made her an opening, so she would be able to escape more easily.

''Aubrey I-'' She started to speak again but I interrupted her.

''Go!'' I didn't wait for any response. My hand went to her back and pushed her in the direction I wanted her. She stumbled forwards and waited for a second. Then she took off.

As soon as I saw her figure round the corner I let out a smile. She was safe, almost no walker had seen her leave. They were all focused on me. My machete went in and out skulls, bullets rained down and walkers collapsed onto the ground.

But it still wasn't enough.

I knew I had to get out of here. Or at least try. Going in the same direction as Carol wasn't an option. The only thing that crossed my mind was going straight through. My survival chances were slim if I did that. But they weren't really big to begin with.

So after taking down another 3 walkers in front of me, I noticed a slight gap and I took my chance. I ran over to them, full speed. Since I wasn't the longest or biggest person, I slipped through more easily than I had expected.

I rounded several corners as fast as I could. The little energy I had left, I used up to get as far away from the walkers as possible. Except they were still there. I had started to slow down a bit more. My heart was pacing, my breathing was fast and short. I could feel the air on my skin as I ran through the tunnels. Because of the fact that I was slowing down, the walkers were getting closer. Closer than I liked.

That's when I saw it. A few metres away, there was something that looked like a door. It was made of iron and I imagined that it probably was an isolation cell before the dead started walking again.

When I looked behind me and saw the walkers getting closer by the second and felt myself becoming more tired, I halted myself to a stop and rushed inside the cell.

I stumbled inside and was quick to shut the door behind me. Within a few seconds I could hear the groaning and bodies slamming against it. But I was safe, for now.

I crumbled to the ground in exhaustion, satisfied that walkers couldn't come in anymore. I tried to look around the cell, except I couldn't see anything. I was in the dark, surrounded by walkers and totally and utterly

Alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Update: Rewritten 29/5/2017**

* * *

 **Cut me deep, these secrets and lies**

 **Storm in the quiet**

It had been a while since I had truly been alone. There was absolutely nothing around me. Just four walls, a door and the sound of dead people trying to eat me. I had always been with my mother. She would never leave my side, and vice-versa.

The quiet, the darkness scared me. Being _alone_ scared me.

The first few hours I had felt trapped. I was pacing around the small room, my mind was racing through every option I had. But the cluster of walkers outside my door only got bigger. The amount of walkers attracted more walkers, that amount of walkers attracted even more walkers and so on.

So after those hours, I submitted. My body let itself fall on the floor in exhaustion. My head was pounding with all of my thoughts and my heart was racing with anxiety. I didn't want to die here. Not today. But there was nothing I could do.

So I sat there, on the ground. Listening to the shuffling and pounding of the walkers. I think they had already forgotten someone was in here, they were just throwing themselves against the door because the rest of the corpses were.

More hours passed and with each one my body started to get worse. Hunger had started to take over, thirst was settling in my throat and mind. Each breath was hoarse and painful. My throat felt like sandpaper because of the lack of water, I felt sick because of the little food I had in me. My eyes felt heavy and were starting to close on its own. So I just let them. My mind drifted away and before I knew it I had fallen asleep.

The first time I woke up was brief. When I opened my eyes I noticed they had adjusted to the small amount of light. The room was more visible now, I could see the door more clearly. But I could only see it for a few minutes before my eyes closed again.

With my eyes closed, my thoughts went over to Carol. I hoped she was alright. She seemed pretty skilled with a gun and I didn't doubt the fact that she'd know her way around a knife too. I hoped the little number of walkers helped her find her way back. Maybe she found someone, maybe she was back at the cellblock.

T-Dog also appeared in my mind. He had sacrificed his last moment to save us, to save _Carol_. I didn't know him that well. I just had to occasional chats with him. He was a good man, the kind of man that would put his life before ours.

My breathing had slowed down since last time. My heartbeat had reduced with it. Even though my heart was pacing really slow, it was loud. I could hear and feel it pounding in my head, trying to make me stand up and do something. My muscles weren't complying. I tried to lift my arm, but it ached so bad that I just gave up and let it hang by my side.

I was going to die here. The thought almost made me laugh. Whenever I thought of my death, I'd imagine it to be heroic. I'd sacrifice myself like T-Dog, take a bullet or something alike. I'd imagine myself fighting to the last second, fight until my last breath would escape my lips. My mother always told me that your body would shut the pain down when you were close to dying. It just didn't care anymore, it would just let you die.

The imagine of my mother flashed through my mind and I grimaced. I'd leave her alone. She was going to have to life without me. I didn't know what to think about that thought. My mother without me, didn't seem right. Maybe because I was just so used to having her with me. I couldn't imagine her on her own. She didn't know how to fight, she didn't know how to survive. But that's where I was wrong. She already was a survivor, but just in her own way.

I thought about the things she'd survived. I actually just thought about one thing she'd survived.

 _A scream filled my ears. The pain clear in their voice. Goosebumps arrived as I looked at my little sister, who's face was scrunched up in pain. Her mouth was open, but suddenly I couldn't hear anything anymore. There was a slight beep in my ears. But my mind didn't even register it, all I could see was the body of my little sister._ _ **My little sister**_ _._

''GO!'' Was suddenly yelled in my ear and I spun around, only to see my father grabbing me by my shoulders. His face was covered in wrinkles. Wrinkles that used to appear from smiling, but were now replaced with wrinkles caused by worrying. Then I blinked, and he was replaced by my mother.

 _''No! You can't go!'' Her nails were digging into my shoulders, slowly drawing blood. I looked down, almost in slow-motion, to see a few specks of blood appear on my bare shoulders._

 _That's when I realised that there was something going on around me. Not just something, there was a lot going on around me. My mother had gone, vanished. I could hear her screaming. But she wasn't the only scream I could hear. My dad, my sister also joined in._

 _I spun around, trying to find the source of the sound. Only at that moment I saw where I was. We were somewhere in an industrial area. The place of our previous camp._

I heard gunshots, people screaming, I heard the sounds of skulls crack and then...

Nothing.

''You're gonna have to make a decision.'' I heard a voice in my ear. I couldn't move at first. I couldn't look to the man who was standing so close to me it hurt. My hands were trembling, my body was shaking, my heart pounding and I was on the verge of tears.

 _''No please,'' I said, my voice shaking as I quickly shook my head no._

''What's it gonna be?'' He whispered again, ignoring my pleas.

My eyes travelled down to see a familiar gun in my hands. The gun was loaded, that I knew. My hands cocked the gun, against my will, and my finger placed itself on the trigger. I wasn't able to control my body as I raised the weapon, pointing it at the person in front of me.

 _The man was still next to me, whispering something in my ear._

''Aubrey!'' I suddenly heard my mom yell, but I ignored her.

 _I stared at the person in front of me in silence. My brain couldn't process any logical sentences. My body and mind screamed at me to stop, but I knew what I had to do. The person in front of me begged me with its eyes. He begged me to stop. To stop the pain._

I gripped the gun tighter and pulled the trigger.

 _''AUBREY!''_

My eyes snapped open, as if someone had scared me awake. I looked around the room, not expecting anything new, when I noticed I wasn't alone anymore. A body was hunched over, focussing on the ground below. Even though there was no face visible, I knew immediately who it was.

''Dad?'' I said, my voice sounding crooked and I swallowed painfully. He lifted his head to look at me and when his familiar face came into view I felt my throat tighten.

''Hi sweety,'' He said, giving me a full-tooth smile.

My dad was in his late fifties. Wrinkles and grey hairs had already started to develop when the outbreak happened. Still, my dad had always been in shape. He used to be an athlete back in the days and, even when he grew too old, he never stopped training. There was beard grown on his face from the lack of shaving. Stains from blood, mud, sweat and things I couldn't even imagine, were visible on his clothes and skin, but his eyes were still glinting in the dark.

He didn't move from his position, but he did let himself lean back against the wall. Making himself comfortable.

There was a moment of silence, where none of us spoke a word. I was still too dazed to actually acknowledge my father's presence, my dead father's presence. I wasn't sure what to say to him, but I was also just too tired to try. Fortunately, after a few minutes my dad decided to speak up.

''It's been awhile, hasn't it?'' I nodded as a response. I knew I had to be one to start, I had to be the one to talk about it. It was my fault after all.

''I'm sorry,'' I said, tears filling my eyes and my throat was tightening. It felt like I was suffocating, suffocating by the truth of what I had done. To my dad, my little sister, to- I bit my tongue in anger, refusing to speak about her. I didn't deserve to think about her, she didn't deserve that. ''I never meant for it to go down like that.'' My voice sounded heavy with unshed tears, like I was trying to keep everything inside.

My father sighed, rubbing his head with his hands. ''I know.'' Was all he said. There was no emotion behind in, no way to tell what that meant. _If_ it meant anything. I shut my eyes, trying to get rid of the tears.

When I opened my eyes, my dad was gone.

In it's place was someone else, actually there were two people in his place.

Teresa looked like the day I had last seen her. Her dark greasy hair was pulled up in a tight ponytail. Her stuffed pet ' _Noonoo_ ', that looked like a hybrid between a dog and a bee, clutched against her chest. She was wearing a purple shirt that looked like it hadn't been washed in over a year. Her pants didn't look any better. The ones blue colour had faded into something darker and filthy. The only difference with the Teresa in front of me and the Teresa I saw last is that this one didn't have a bullet in her head. She didn't have any of the injuries she received that day. My little sister's leg looked fine, her head looked intact and she was smiling.

My brother also looked different. His weight seemed healthy, his skin was the colour a skin should be and he didn't look like he was going to throw up any second. Ian looked stable, as if he had never seen a hospital in his life. Unlike Teresa, or me for that matter, Ian's clothes were clean. His face was cleaner than I had ever seen it and his hair was washed.

The tears that I had finally managed to push away came rushing forward again, hitting me like a train. This time I couldn't do anything to stop it. I felt the salty liquid roll down my skin. At first there were only a few tears, but more appeared and fell down my cheeks, until I couldn't stop them anymore and I just let it be.

I placed my head in between my knees and gritted my teeth together as the first sob escaped my lips. It was painful against my throat, but that didn't matter at the time. I kept crying for a few seconds, before I realised I wasn't alone right now.

I was scared they'd be gone as I lifted my head. Just like my dad. But they were still here, looking at me with sympathy in their eyes. While looking at them, I realised I wasn't the only one crying. Teresa's eyes were wet and I saw a small tear roll down her cheek. She sniffed loudly before speaking up.

''Please don't be sad.'' The 11 year old attempted as a form of consolation. I forced out a chuckle, about how ironic her phrase was, since she was also crying.

Ian stepped forward, making the attention shift towards him.

''Aubrey, would you-'' There was a moment of silence where he seemed to ponder what he was saying. He took another step forward and knelt down so we were on the same eye level. His brown looked so fragile right now. Ever since I was born I had looked up to him. My big brother, fearless, brave, rebellious. Of course that had changed when he had gotten sick. There had been many times where he had looked fragile. Fearlessness wasn't present in him anymore. No, he had shown a lot of fear. He had shown fear when he would throw up so much the barf turned into blood. Or when he was about to get surgery. There had been fear in his eyes on his last day.

''Would you like to come with us?'' His question snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up at him. The brown eyes weren't begging me to go with him. He was simply giving me an option, if I'd take it, that'd be my choice.

I could feel my body. How powerless it was right now. It was on the verge of dying, I knew it. I knew that because I couldn't feel anything. The hunger had subsided, my throat still hurt, but it wasn't really painful anymore, it was just an ache. My muscles were tired and I was wondering why I was even here.

Before I could open my mouth, before I could answer. My dad appeared behind my brother. A hand was placed on Ian's shoulder.

''I'm afraid she can't.'' He told Ian, ''She has to stay here.'' Ian nodded in response, accepting our dad's answer. But I was spluttering, trying to come up with a reaction.

''But-I- What if I don't want to stay?'' I tried, struggling with speaking out loud. It sounded more like a whisper, but all three of them still heard it. Probably because they only existed in my head.

''I'm afraid you don't have a choice.''

And just like that, they were gone.

Instead of the silence I expected, there was a noise. At first I thought it was a walker, but it didn't sound like someone slamming themselves against the door. It sounded like a knife. And I knew what a knife meant, that meant a living person.

My body shot itself up with the little adrenaline I had left and I started to drag myself to the door. I was already panting within the first second, but the thought of getting out of here seemed to push me through.

As soon as I reached the door I let my hand smash against it. My body sank down on the ground after that. My back in the air and my cheek pressed against the cool floor. I knew I'd have to hit it again, since there was a possibility the person on the other side hadn't heard me.

I raised my arm and slammed it against the door again with all my might. I let it fall in front of me again, having no energy to keep it up. I wondered how long I had been here. Considering the state of my body, it felt like at least a day or two.

I was preparing myself to raise my arm again, when the door opened. At first, I thought it would be a walker, coming to tear me apart. But when I was rolled onto my back, I knew it couldn't be. I flinched against the bright light that arrived from the doorway, making it impossible for me to see who my saviour was.

I tried blinking, hoping it would help my vision a bit. Fortunately, my eyes adjusted to the light, probably not because of the blinking. I felt a hand against my forehead. It was very cold compared to my sweating skin. To me, it appeared like I was glowing. So the cold hand of the person in front of me almost made me sigh.

By now I could see who it was that had opened the door. Daryl Dixon was standing over me, a worried look plastered on his face as he took in my appearance. I felt an arm making its way under my back and another one under my knees. As he lifted me up bridal style, I groaned slightly. It seemed like I hadn't moved on days and my muscles were aching like hell.

''H-How long?'' I asked him, my voice sounding way worse than I thought when I talked to my family.

''3 Days,'' Daryl grumbled as he started walking down the hallway,

''3 Days.''

* * *

 **Thoughts and pointing out grammar mistakes are always appreciated :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Update: Rewritten 11/6/2017

* * *

 **When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul**

 **Your faith walks on broken glass**

The first time I was brought back to consciousness was due to the splash of water against my face. The second the liquid touched my face, I shot up with a gasp. The bottle in my view was tempting and I didn't hesitate in reaching forward and grabbing it. My body was craving it and I couldn't stop myself from gulping it down.

My throat was screaming in pain, my head was pounding and my muscles felt weak as I could barely lift the bottle of water. Within seconds there was nothing left and I let myself fall back against the bed. It was comfy, much better than the ground I had been sleeping on.

I only just realised the voices that were present in the room. I turned my head and saw Hershel, my mom and Rick. Rick was talking to my mother about something, I couldn't see her expression since her back was turned to me, so I didn't know what they were talking about.

I let out a sigh, feeling the heaviness return. I was fighting to stay awake, but my eyes were already closing on their own accord. My body was shutting down I could feel it.

''Aubrey, stay with us please.'' I heard Hershel say, but my eyes were already closed and it felt distant. As if it was an echo. Not soon after that I let the darkness overwhelm me.

The second time I woke up was less instant. My eyes opened slowly, trying to get used to the little light that was here. There was a candle on my bedside which made me flinch slightly. I hadn't expected my eyes to be this sensitive to light. I groaned slightly as I realised how bad I felt. My body was aching.

The aching only got worse and before I even realised what was going on, my body bent sideways and already did its work. My hand shot out to hold my belly in pain, as I leaned out of the bed and threw up. I let out a small yelp as all the water I had previously consumed left my stomach again.

I heard a startled sound as I emptied my stomach, but I couldn't figure out who it was. Even though there was nothing left anymore, my body still tried. I was heaving, trying not to cry at the pain. My throat was hurting and I wasn't surprised if blood would come out next. My other hand shot up towards the bed above me, to have some support.

When my body decided it was finally enough, I was left panting and trying to control my heartbeat as I was holding the railing. I closed my eyes for a second, letting myself have a moment to calm down. When I opened my eyes again, they glanced around the room.

The sound had come from Hershel, who was standing on the other side of the room, away from my vomit. He looked slightly surprised, but not disgusted at the event that just happened. I slowly let go of the railing and swung my legs over the bed.

''I'm so sorry.'' I apologised, ashamed at what I had done. ''I'll help you clean up.'' I was trying to haul myself up, so I could help him, but Hershel was quick to go over to my bed and prevent me from standing up.

''It's alright, I can do it.'' He said, giving me a smile. I nodded, pressing my lips together in a small forced smile. I knew I wasn't in the perfect condition to do anything right now, but I felt bad. I wanted to help him. It was my fault after all, I should be the one to clean up my mess.

When Hershel walked out of the cell, probably to get something to clean with, I let myself fall back against the mattress again. Within seconds I was out again.

* * *

 _''Dad and I are going to check out the house, okay?'' I told Teresa who was crawled up against my mom. ''We're going to get Olivia.'' Her brows furrowed slightly with worry at the mention of Olivia, she'd always loved her, she used to force Olivia to play with her when she got some new toy. Olivia was like a sister to me. Although we'd bicker sometimes, it wouldn't affect us, it was mostly bickering for fun. Trying to prove each other wrong._

 _Teresa nodded and gave me a hopeful smile, although it wasn't very convincing. I smiled back, ignoring the uneasy feeling in my stomach. Everything had gotten quiet the last few hours. No more screams echoing through the cities, fortunate for us, Olivia lived on the outskirts of town, not too far away, but not close enough to have the troubles they currently have in the city. Which didn't really ease my racing heart._

 _I turned towards my dad who was putting the magazine in his gun. I followed his action and together we walked towards the house, checking our surroundings while we did so. It was quiet here, the only sound that was noticeable was the soft chirping of the birds and the breeze that was blowing against the trees. We decided to park a little further then Olivia's house, because we didn't know if there were any of those.. infected people there._

 _When my dad and I turned around the corner we didn't see any biters, which was a relief. But when I reached Olivia's house my heart sank to my stomach._

 _The window was broken and her car was gone._

 _''Shit.'' I cursed and started to sprint towards the house. It wasn't a large house, since she lived alone. The walls were white and the house looked fancy. I'd always been jealous of her house, since I lived in a shitty apartment in the city. We'd often talked about living together, we had started saving up, trying to buy a house closer to the city and a little bit bigger, but we never got that far enough to actually get a house._

 _I didn't even bother with the door, I immediately headed for the window. My heart pounded a little faster when I noticed the blood on the window glass. My dad slowly followed me, checking if everything was safe while I tried to figure what happened._

 _I jumped over the window and into the living room, avoiding the glass that was still shattered everywhere. Aside from the window I just came through, all the windows were locked and the curtains were drawn. It had a creepy atmosphere to it._

 _I slowly walked further into the living room, the crunching of glass could be heard throughout the whole room and with every step I listened for a sound. Hoping to find Olivia hiding somewhere, but I was also prepared for a sick one, hopefully not one I knew._

 _The living room was a mess. A vase of flowers was knocked over, or maybe it was used to hit someone, or something. The floor was covered in water, glass and flowers. I slowly crouched down, picking up one of the flowers and I touched the water._

 _''It's recent.'' I whispered to myself, looking at the flower. They hadn't withered yet. I stood up and turned around to my dad, repeating what I had said to myself._

 _He frowned and gave me a firm nod, showing me he understood. I dropped the flower to the ground when I heard a sound. My heart started to hammer in my heart, scared of I might see. I raised my gun and lowered myself closer to the ground. My dad quickly did the same._

 _''You want me to go first?'' He asked me and I hesitated a bit. I did want him to go first, I was scared of what might happen. What if Olivia was infected and currently walking around this house, like a rotting corpse?_

 _I nodded and let him go first. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down, preparing myself for the worst. My dad was quick and silent as he walked towards the opening that led to the kitchen. The source of the sound. My dad pressed his back to the wall and I quickly did the same. In a matter of second dad turned into the opening and raised his gun at the sound. I stayed where I was, hoping it wasn't a dead Olivia._

 _I jumped when I heard the sound of a gunshot and I quickly ran towards my father. Slouched against the counter was a woman, an infected woman, with now a gunshot in her head. I let out a breath when I realised it wasn't Olivia._

 _We searched the house without speaking a word to each other, but with every room we covered, our expectations lowered. When we covered the last room, her bedroom, I let out a shaky sigh. She wasn't here, she had left. Hopefully she made it out alive, or maybe she got bit in here and wandered outside as a mindless body._

 _I ignored the lump in my throat as I picked up a photo of us, we were both teens and our smiles were bright, unbothered by adult life. I sat down on the bed and rubbed my hands over my face. Where could she be? Her first thought would be to get her family, just like me, but where could she have gone after that? I folded the photo and put it in my pocket._

 _When my dad showed up in the doorway I quickly stood back up again._

 _''You ready to go?'' He asked me and I just nodded, not looking at him. I had to go back to Teresa and my mom, and I had to act like everything was okay. Everything absolutely wasn't okay. I wished I had gotten to her first, my parents house was safe, they could have made it if I'd arrived just an hour later, but then with Olivia by my side._

 _I walked over the doorway, but when I went to pass my dad he engulfed me in a hug. I quickly wrapped my arms around his torso and buried my head against his chest, letting out a sob._

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, it was different this time. I felt rested, less sick to my stomach and overall filled with a bit more energy. The bunk of the bed above me felt dreadful as I stared at it. I started to count the bars on the bunk, but before I could even reach ten, shuffling made me turn my head.

My mom shifted in her chair. She was sound asleep, her hair slightly falling in front of her face. Her arms were folded in front of her chest and her knees were pulled up, in an attempt at finding a comfortable position to sleep. She looked tired. There were dark circles under her eyes that even I could see from this distance and I felt as if she hadn't showered in a few days.

I pulled myself up slightly from my lying position, trying not to wake my mom. I only felt slightly dizzy as I sat up, so instead of standing up, I leaned back against the wall and stared at my mom. I remember her before shit went down. She was so beautiful. She still was, but the world had changed her. It had changed all of us. Her beautiful blonde golden hair was now filled with dirt. Her face that once looked healthy was now hollow and covered with sweat. The smile that could once lift up the entire room, was now forced and empty. There were barely any occasions where I had seen her smile when we were out there. But in here, things had gotten better.

She had connected with the people here. She seemed to like Carol a lot.

Carol.

Was she alright? Suddenly there was no way I was going to wait around here. I pulled myself up from my bed and stumbled upright. I took a few breaths to get rid of the dots that clouded my vision, but after that I was up and ready to go to the common room.

I looked over at my mom, she was sound asleep. I smiled slightly at her before walking away, more like stumbling, to the common room. There was no one in the cellblock. It was light outside so I imagined that it was somewhere around morning. Which meant everybody was having breakfast.

When I appeared at the door frame of the cell door that kept the cellblock and common room separated, I smiled at the sight of everyone still here. Everyone but T-Dog. But the sight of Carol sitting at one of the tables made my heart melt. It made staying in that cell for 3 days absolutely worth it.

The first one that noticed me was Maggie. She let out a small gasp before rushing over to me and wrapping her arms around me in an unexpected hug. I returned the hug after a few seconds, having to get used to the feeling. It made me realise that I couldn't remember the last time I had gotten a hug. Even though it was a small hug and it was over in a few seconds, it immediately lifted my spirits. After Maggie everyone gave me a quick hug or a pat on my back, telling me I was 'a tough one'

I chuckled at their kindness. I realised that two prisoners were also present in the room. They gave me a nod and a smile at my presence and I nodded back, in a form of mutual respect. The prisoners weren't the only ones staying back. Daryl was leaning against the wall, with his crossbow down by his feet. When my gaze met his he gave me a nod too. But this one was slightly different, though before I could pinpoint what exactly it was, Rick stood before me. His hand reached up to grab my shoulder as he also gave me a slight nod.

Carol was the last one to hug me. Her tiny arms squeezed my body as if I was a stuffed pet.

''Thank you.'' She whispered to me as her head rested on my shoulders. I scoffed at her words, pushing her away slightly, so I could look at her face.

''You did it. No need to thank me.'' I told her with a serious look. After a few moments Carol nodded and backed down, returning to her table.

I sat down too, biting back a groan of pain as I felt my muscles relax.

''What happened that day?'' I spoke up, curious as to why the alarms had started blaring.

Rick's jaw tensed slightly before he spoke, thinking back to that day didn't bring back the best memories.

''Andrew did it. He led the walkers inside to try and kill us. He wanted to take over the prison.'' He grimaced and his eyes locked with mine again.

''Is he dead?'' I asked, hoping he was. Otherwise I had no trouble killing him right now. That bastard needed to be punished with what he had done. He was lucky not more of us had been killed, otherwise he would get something a lot worse than death.

''Yes.'' He said. I nodded at his words. My eyes flickered over to the two remaining prisoners. Rick followed my gaze and seemed to know what I was thinking because he spoke up again.

''They helped me. They're okay.'' He told me, and for now I accepted the answer. They didn't really look like bad guys to me, they actually looked rather nice. But that didn't mean I trusted them yet.

So I sat there for an hour. Talking and catching up with everyone. Lori and the baby were still fine, which was a huge relief. Carl was also doing okay, a bit shaken up by the whole ordeal but otherwise fine. Maggie and Glenn were alright too. Everyone was alright. Except for my mom. They had told me that after I had disappeared my mother broke down. She thought I had died. She wouldn't leave her room and if she did, she'd just grab a bit of food and go back to her cell. I flinched as they told me the story. I didn't know she'd taken my disappearance that hard.

The weirdest thing was, that they had a grave for me. There was a cross outside on the field that was mine. As if I was really dead. They had went out looking for me, but when they couldn't find me after two days they started to get discouraged. Daryl went out on the third day and the fourth day. Refusing to give up on anyone. And on the morning of that fourth day he had found me.

When the group told me the story about Daryl, I noticed how Daryl had disappeared into the cellblock, obviously not wanting to hear about his little hero act.

After that they asked me how I ended up in the cell. I gave them a brief explanation of what had happened after Carol and I seperated. But I left out the part where I saw my family. Their presence in that cell had made me anxious. I was pretty sure I had just imagined it, but they felt so real.

But I also knew it wasn't real because of the way they spoke. They acted normal, as if they didn't blame me. Like nothing had happened. They acted the way I wanted them to act, which is why I knew it wasn't real. I didn't deserve to be treated like that, I deserved so much worse.

''Aubrey?'' A voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see Rick staring at me. Actually everyone was staring at me. I was wondering why they were looking so surprised. What was wrong? I noticed something on my cheek and when my hand shot out to wipe it away, I realised it was a tear. I was crying?

''Eh- I'm gonna go. I'm still kind of tired.'' I lied to them and shot up. The sudden movements made my body confused and I stumbled forwards, feeling dizzy all of the sudden. Several people held out their hand to catch or help me but I shook my head.

''I'll go with you.'' Rick spoke up and I shot him a look. The look was supposed to say it all, it was supposed to say 'leave me alone', but Rick acted like he didn't see it and stood up to follow me.

''I can walk you know.'' I told him annoyed. Rick shrugged at my reaction.

''I know.'' He told me, giving me a half smile. I started to walk forwards, trying to lead while Rick followed. I noticed that Rick grabbed something behind me, but I couldn't look behind me. I was too stubborn for that. So I held my head up high and instead of looking back I started to walk a little bit faster towards my cell.

I hadn't even reached my cell or my mother instantly wrapped her arms around me.

''Oh my god Aubrey, you're alright.'' She sighed as she engulfed me. I felt a bit awkward, unsure as what to do. A part of me was screaming at me to hug her back, she was my mother after all and she had been worried about me. But another part told me to push her away, keep the distance. So instead of listening to either of those voices, I just let her hug me and did nothing. My arms were bluntly by my side, just hanging beside me.

When my mom pulled back her eyes fell on something behind me. I knew it was Rick, since he was the one who was still following me. Rick and my mother shared a few looks before my mom pinched my cheek and walked away from my cell. I had to say, I was impressed by Rick's ability to get my mom to leave. I had to give him that.

I sat down on the bed and Rick plopped down next to me. The annoyance I had a few minutes earlier, were slowly starting to ebb away as I was now alone. Well alone, Rick was still here, but it was better than the whole group gathered around me.

''You should eat something.'' Rick said, handing me an apple he was holding. Which is what he took when I felt like I couldn't look.

I let him give me the apple, but instead of eating it I just twisted it around in my hand. Watching the different colors that had appeared on the apple. I was wondering when they'd gotten this. Fruit was something hard to come by these days, they were lucky to find it.

''How are _you_ doing?'' I asked him. My head raised up to meet his eyes, but he was looking at the wall in front of us.

''I'm okay, considering.'' He shrugged, ''I'm definitely doing better than you are.'' I chuckled at him, not denying that.

''I'm surprised you even came looking for me.'' I said, this time it was my turn to avoid Rick's eyes. I was staring at the wall like Rick had previously done. There were several blood specks on it, I had counted 4 already. I wondered if those were from before or after the outbreak. ''I mean, you barely even know me.''

''Stop, you're one of us. You're part of the group now.''

There were a few second of silence before Rick spoke up again. This time it was softer than before. His tone more serious.

''Aubrey. How many walkers have you killed?''

''What?'' I said, confused by his question. But I still thought about it. How many walkers had I killed. The number of dead ones I had put down were just a faint memory, lost in the more important things right now. ''I don't know, dozens? More?''

''How many people have you killed?'' As soon as those words left his mouth, my hand tightened around the apple. My fingers almost digging in it. My other hand had grabbed the sheet on the bed, clutching the cloth tight against my hand as I thought about that question.

''Why do you want to know?'' I asked as nonchalant as possible.

''I was thinking.'' He spoke, ''We can build this place into something and when it comes to that. We might have to take people in. But how can you know if they can be trusted? So I came up with these questions.'' His head turned towards me.

''So?'' He asked, ''How many people have you killed?'' The question wasn't light. There was a serious tone in his voice. He was already anticipating the worst answer, and sadly I had to give him the worst answer.

''7'' I told him. ''I killed 7 people.'' It was weird saying it out loud. If you didn't say it, you could just pretend it wasn't real. As if everyone was still alive.

''Why?'' His voice was thick, maybe because he hadn't expected my answer, or maybe because _he had_.

''Because I had to.''


	9. Chapter 9

**Update: Partially rewritten 14/6/2017**

* * *

 **Welcome to the room of people**

 **Who have rooms of people that they loved one day**

 _My dad was driving. My mom was sitting in the passenger seat and I was sitting in the backseat with Teresa and Sarah. Teresa's small frame was pressed against mine and she was starting to doze off. I was looking out the window, several abandoned cars were stranded on the side of the road, as if they left in a hurry. Some still even had their car doors wide open, as if they'd still come back._

 _It was hard to grasp the situation right now. None of us really knew what was going on. Apparently and epidemic had hit the US, driving people to insanity and becoming cannibalistic. Me and Sarah were the only ones who had actually met one of these sick people. The eyes from that thing were still haunting me. I felt like every second, one of these people would turn into that. How could that even happen?_

 _Before I knew it, small tears fell down my cheeks. But I hid it, I didn't want anyone to see I was crying. Especially not Teresa. I needed her to be strong, strong like my dad. I wiped my tears away, hoping no one had noticed. My eyes glanced over to my dad, who had been silent so far. He only spoke when asked and even then, they were just simple answer._

 _I think he had a bad feeling about all of this. And sadly my dad was almost always right. When I was 18 and had my first boyfriend, he told me he didn't like the guy. 'He just doesn't feel right.' He had mumbled, but of course I just brushed him off. I mean who was he to judge about my relationships right? I thought he would dismiss every boy I brought home. Turned out, that a month later my boyfriend got arrested for dealing drugs. I didn't speak to my dad for almost a week, angry that he had been right._

 _So now I didn't doubt him in the slightest. Things were bad, and he knew it._

 _The sudden slam on the brakes made me gasp slightly. Even though we all had wore our seat-belts, my one hand shot out to protect Teresa from falling forward, I used to other one so I could grab the seat in front of me, to lessen the blow if needed._

 _The car came to a halt with an uncomfortable stop. My body flew forwards, but I caught myself and Teresa. Fortunately, Sarah was also holding onto the seat in front of her. My dad stopped the car and immediately stepped out. My mother followed suit and so did I._

 _''Watch Teresa please.'' I begged Sarah, before taking off and seeing what was the fuss about. I hobbled over to the other side of the car to see someone talking to my parents. The girl couldn't be older than 18, her blonde hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail and she looked like she had been running for a while. I couldn't fully see her, her face was the only thing visible behind my parents._

 _She was definitely crying, blubbering and sobbing as she told my parents a story._

 _''I don't know what to do. My parents are-'' She stopped for a second as she thought back and her face scrunched up before she started to sob again. ''Can you please help me?''_

 _I took a few steps forward so I was closer to my parents. ''What's going on?'' I asked them. Their heads snapped towards me and the look of pain was visible in their eyes. Fear struck me as my eyes flickered over to the girl. Who was now fully visible, since my parents stepped away. She was quite short, with a petite figure. Her clothes were dirty and sweaty. But the thing that had made my parents worried was the arm the girl was clutching. Her hand was covering the wound, but her hand was already drenched with blood._

 _''Oh my god,'' I gasped as I took another step closer._

 _''Avoid any close contact with anyone who shows signs of being infected''_

 _The words from the news reporter flashed through my mind and I refrained from taking another step. It was clearly a bite wound, the way she was blabbering and unsure what to do. But still I had to ask._

 _''Is that-?'' I started but my dad interrupted._

 _''She got bit.'' At this point, we had no idea what to do. We weren't sure what was going to happen when you had gotten bit, but we all knew it wasn't good. But still, this was a girl. A girl who was still bleeding from her arm, no matter what was going to happen, we had to help her. Maybe it would be fine. Maybe she would just get a fever and then be her body would be healthy again._

 _''Do we have any bandages?'' My mother spoke up and I nodded before rushing off to go to the car. I opened the trunk to search through our stuff. I knew I had put a first aid kit in there somewhere. While I was looking through my bag, I noticed my hands were shaking. I took a second to stop and observe them. The shaking wasn't anything massive, but this had never happened to me before. These situations weren't something I was used to. I wished I was like my mother, who had been working in a hospital for her whole life, she knew how to handle these situations. I didn't._

 _From the corner of my eye, I spotted the first aid kit in my bag. With a slight smile I pulled it out, happy I had accomplished anything. But the smile quickly fell when I thought of the reason why I needed it._

 _When I returned, my mother started to do what she was the best at and bandaged the girl up. I turned to my dad, giving him a worried look._

 _''We're going to take her with us right?'' I asked him, my father's eyes flickered over to the little girl next to mom before the returned back to me._

 _''I don't know.'' He mumbled. His hand rubbed his face in a frustrated matter, before he looked back at the girl again. ''We don't have any room.'' He tried as an excuse._

 _''Teresa can sit on my lap, we'll make room.'' I urged him to change his mind. ''Are we really going to leave a little girl out here on her own?'' My dad opened his mouth to answer but never really got the chance._

 _Behind me, the sound of a rolling beer bottle was heard. I turned around within a second and what I saw gave me goosebumps all over my body._

 _There was one. A sick one. It's skin was grey and there was a huge chunk out of its neck. The blood that had spread around his chest seemed unbothered by it. The way it stumbled towards us, made it look like he was drunk. It's eyes were outstretched to us, as if trying to grab us from this distance was actually possible._

 _''Dad?'' I told him._

 _''Let's go.'' He said. ''Jennifer,'' My mom's eyes snapped over to him, not seeing the sick one that was coming closer to us._

 _My mom stood up within seconds, flinging the girl's good arm over her shoulder. I went inside first and pulled Teresa on my lap. Not even seconds later the girl followed suit. My mom stepped inside the passenger seat and before she even had her seatbelt on, my dad had put his foot on the gas and we were off._

* * *

''I just can't wait for this baby to pop out,'' Lori complained with a chuckle as she sat on her bed, ''I can't even stand up by myself. It's horrible.'' She joked and smiled up at me. I was sitting on the ground in front of her. We had been talking for awhile now. Lori had told me a lot about the group. What had happened before they came here and who they had lost.

My knees were folded on the ground and I was leaning against the bedside table. I had been planning to go out and help them clear the field, not that more walkers had invaded the prison, on the outside and the inside, but they ordered me to stay here. I would have struggled more, but I knew they were right. So I decided to keep Lori company.

''I can't imagine it'll be better after the birth. This baby will need a lot of attention.'' I said, pointing at the belly. At times, I could still be baffled at the size of Lori right now. She was absolutely huge and looked like she was ready to burst. But my mother assured me that they had at least a week before we needed to really keep an eye on her.

''Yeah,'' She said, trailing off. The smile disappeared from her face and she got lost in her thoughts for a second. Her eyes met mine again after a moment, the lightness had vanished and was replaced with a serious look in her eye. ''We're gonna need some supplies soon. We don't have the right equipment to nourish a baby right now.'' She told me.

''I think Daryl and I are gonna look for supplies tomorrow.'' I muttered. On its own, my eyes drifted over to Daryl, who was currently cleaning up his crossbow and knife. He was carefully wiping away the blood that had covered it. That man was something else entirely. He acted so distant, but he also deeply cared for this group. He refused to let it show, but it was clear he didn't want anyone to get hurt in this group.

Daryl and I hadn't really talked to each other yet. The man had kept his distance. I didn't know why, but I suspected he did it to monitor me, to make sure I was trustworthy. I knew he had been watching me. Like he had done with my mother in the beginning, but I guess he had quickly come to the conclusion she wasn't really a threat. I'd like to think I wasn't a threat either, I was being nice to everyone. I hadn't sought out any arguments or fights and I thought I could go along with everyone just fine.

''Lori?'' A voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Both of our heads turned towards the sound. In the doorway stood Rick. One hand was placed against the doorway while the other was just hanging by his side. When his eyes fell on mine he gave me a firm nod in respect. I nodded back, getting the message he was sending.

''I'll just go.'' I said, pushing myself up from the ground and walking past Rick, but not before giving another look at Lori. She seemed nervous to be alone with Rick. I had heard a few rumours about their relationship right now. I wasn't sure exactly what had happened, but I had witnessed enough of it. They weren't at the best places at the moment.

I was wandering around the prison, thinking about what I could do. Not a lot of people would actually let me help. They mostly ordered me to sit down and take a rest. But I was done with the all of the 'taking it slow' and the concern around me. I was fine, I was alive and able to help, which is what I should be doing.

So against everyone's advice, I went outside. The sun was bright today and I closed my eyes for a second, just to feel the sun against my skin. There was no wind today, so I could imagine that you wouldn't want to spent your whole day outside.

I saw a figure out on the field, there were actually multiple figures. They were dragging the remaining dead walkers onto a big pile, probably ready to burn it.

I jogged over to the figures. Glenn, Oscar and Axel were working on dragging a few of the last bodies onto the pile.

''Hey,'' I said, grabbing a walker by its feet. I started dragging its body across the field and over to the pile. Almost as soon as I had touched the body, Glenn and Axel were hovering over me.

''Are you sure you don't need to rest?'' Axel asked.

''Be careful, don't push yourself too much.'' Glenn said at the same time. I rolled my eyes at their reaction and just continued to drag the body. It was sort of heavy, heavier than I would have admitted to anyone. I had a bit of difficulty with throwing the body on the pile, since I couldn't lift it properly. But instead of helping me, the guys stood back, respecting the fact that I didn't want any assistance.

The last walker I grabbed was a man, probably in his 40's. His stomach had been ripped open and his face looked like he had taken quite some beatings, or smashes to the head. I wondered if it happened before he died or after, if it happened after he turned, I would think they did it to kill him, but never got the chance.

I wondered if he had a family. Maybe they were still out there. Looking for him, or maybe they're the ones that did this to him. As I stared into his dead eyes a familiar face flashed through my mind. Within seconds I stumbled back in shock, but luckily no one had noticed me. I glanced at the corpse for one more time before I shook my head and got rid of all the thoughts that lingered in my mind.

I threw the last body on the pile and folded my arms over each other.

I hated the constant guilt that was flashing through my mind. I had expected it to either be there constantly or go away eventually. Except it came in waves. I'd feel fine for one second and then suddenly I'd feel like it was eating my up, consuming me.

I was so lost in my thoughts that when I looked up, Oscar had started to light the pile up.

I was sitting in the common room, having some light conversation with Hershel. We were talking about his crops and the farming he used to do. The light twinkle in his eyes as he talked about his farm warmed my heart and anyone could see that he missed it. So he was actually really excited to go back to it. Plans were being made as to where they were going to plant the crops and what kind of crops were coming here.

Carl rushed in unexpectedly and for a second I thought something was wrong, but the smile on his face made me relax. His eyes scanned over the almost empty room, before settling on Hershel and me.

''Aubrey!'' He said as he sprinted towards us, ''I'm going to clean up the guns, you wanna help?'' He was practically bouncing up and down as he waited for my answer. I acted as if I was considering it, but I had already made up my mind. Who could say no when Carl was this excited?

''Does your mom let you?'' I said, slightly suspicious. I wouldn't have been surprised if he wasn't allowed to. Carl viciously nodded and pulled at my arm in impatience. ''C'mon!'' We all laughed and I said my goodbyes to Hershel before going with Carl.

I sat down on the stairs and signaled him to come and sit next to me. Carl did as he was told and plopped down on the staircase. I pulled out my simple handgun and unloaded the weapon before handing it to him.

''Have you ever done this before?'' I questioned and when Carl shook his head I gave him a small smile. I wasn't going to lie, I felt kind of special to teach the kid this.

''First thing you need to do is check the barrel,'' I pointed out to him, ''You never know if there's still a round in there.'' Carl checked it, a bit awkwardly if I said so, and shook his head, conforming there was nothing left in the barrel. I held out my hand and waited until he handed me the gun again.

I disassembled the gun for him, explaining what I was doing, and after that started to clean the barrel. I told Carl to watch me first and after that he could clean his own. After mine was done, Carl pulled out his own and looked at me expectantly.

I grinned at his face and knew he couldn't wait to begin.

''What do you do first?'' I asked him, Carl swiftly unloaded the gun and checked the barrel if there were any rounds left.

''Good,'' I said, smiling up at him. Carl gave me a grin back, his eyes full of pride. ''What do you do next?''

He dissembled the gun slowly, a little bit unsure. ''That's right,'' I confirmed. ''Next step.'' I ordered him, trying not to sound hostile.

He grabbed a cloth and started to clean the handle, but I stopped him. ''There isn't a specific order to clean the gun, but I would start with the barrel. Do you know how to clean the barrel?'' I asked him and he nodded. He grabbed the rod and patched and carefully cleaned out the barrel. His face was contorted in concentration as he focused on cleaning the barrel.

''Good job,'' I said and gave him a pat on the back, trying not to make it too awkward. I wasn't an expert with kids. Most of the time they were only annoying me, but I could get along with Carl. Maybe because Carl already tried to act like a grown-up instead of a child. Even though I wasn't sure if it was actually good for him to act like this, it made it easier for me to communicate with him.

''Okay, so normally we need to use a brush to clean the barrel, but since we don't have a brush for that we are going to skip that part.'' He nodded as he cleaned the rest of the gun with a cloth. I silently watched him as he did what he was told. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed with concentration as he tried to not miss a spot on the weapon.

''Done!'' He eventually said handing me the gun. I took the weapon he offered me and started to inspect it. After examining the gun in my hands I handed it back to Carl with a smile, who grinned back at me, knowing he'd done well. I gave Carl a new weapon to clean, which he took enthusiastically.

''How exactly did you learn this?'' Carl asked curiously, I looked up from my own new gun I had picked up and kept silent. I bit my lip in doubt, not sure if I wanted to tell him. I wasn't really good at talking about my personal life. Not since the outbreak. But I reminded myself that this was Carl. So I took a deep breath and started talking.

''I-'' I was interrupted by the cell door opening, Daryl walked in, his crossbow slung over his shoulder as he strode towards us. His face was neutral this time, instead of suspicious and he even gave me a nod when our eyes met.

''Rick said you were cleaning' guns?'' He said, almost asking it, as if he wanted a confirmation. I nodded and gestured towards the guns and several parts of it that surrounded the stairs.

''Yeah,'' I answered, ''You wanna help?'' He just shrugged, which I took as a yes, and sat on the ground, facing the stairs. He grabbed his crossbow and started to clean it, again. I watched Daryl as he carefully wiped the cloth on his crossbow. I wondered when he got it. It seemed used, not like something you'd find in a regular store. So maybe he had stolen it, but he acted to comfortable with it. It was like it was a part of him, which made me think he had it before the outbreak. When I opened my mouth to ask him about it, Carl beat me to it.

''You were going to tell something, right?'' He asked hopefully, this captured Daryl's attention and his head turned towards me, his eyebrow raised slightly as if he was wondering why I'd stopped. I swallowed and nodded, since there was no going back now.

''Ehm-'' I began, unsure how to start. ''My older brother was a cop. He- He taught me how to use and- well, clean a gun.'' I gestured towards the guns around the stairs, as if to prove my point.

''Did he die?'' Carl asked bluntly and pressed my lips together at the directness of the question. My hands involuntarily clenched around the gun I was holding, but I was trying to hide it by forcing my hands to relax again.

I noticed that Daryl hadn't said a word yet, he was just observing us, watching the conversation. But he had a strange expression on his face, as if he was thinking about something really important. For a second I wondered if he had a brother. But then I reminded myself Carl was still waiting for my answer.

''Yeah-'' I mumbled quietly.

''By a walker?'' Carl said, before I could explain anything. I just shook my head at his words, not really wanting to talk anymore. But if I shut up now, or if I would leave, that'd only make me questionable.

''No, he died before the outbreak.'' I mumbled, trying not to sound too sad about it, even though I was. ''Cancer.''

'' "M sorry about that.'' Daryl mumbled before Carl could ask another question. I just nodded at him, trying to clear my head from the images of my brother.

''What was his name?'' Carl asked, a little less confidence than before.

''Ian.''


	10. Chapter 10

**Update: Edited 14/7/2017**

* * *

 **All we do is hide away**

 **All we do is chase the day**

 _The girl's name was Elisa. She had just turned 19 a month ago. When she felt like things were making a turn for the worst, she had left with her boyfriend and sisters. She refused to speak about her parents, making me fear the worst. She was walking through a neighbourhood, trying to find some help. The place had been deserted, like a ghost town. They were knocking on random doors, hoping that anyone would open and let them in. But no such luck._

 _A small group of sick people had rounded a corner, 5 or 6 of them. That's when things started to go down. Elisa had been very vague about the whole occurrence. Barely saying a word about what had happened. But the silence and the repressed sobs told us enough._

 _I had put an arm around her, a poor attempt to try and comfort her. She rested her head against my shoulder, softly crying. I tried not to, but I couldn't help but glance over to the wound on her arm. The bleeding had slowed down a significant amount, but that didn't drown any of the concerns._

 _My eyes connected with my dad's through the rearview mirror. His eyes glanced over at the girl in my arms and back to me. The look on his face told me enough. 'We need to do something'. Except none of us really knew what to do. We didn't know what would happen._

 _My dad pulled over on the side of the road, not that it would have mattered if we stopped right there and then, but I guess it was a force of habit. He nudged my mother awake and they had a quick conversation with they eyes and facial expressions._

 _I looked over at Elisa and noticed she had fallen asleep. My shirt was wet from her tears and I couldn't help but feel sympathy for her. Who knows what this girl had been through? We couldn't just leave her out there._

 _''Stay here and watch Elisa and Teresa.'' I told Sarah. Apparently my dad had told my mother the same, because he stepped out of the car, nudging me to come with. I carefully laid Elisa down on my seat and followed my dad outside._

 _My dad's face wrinkled with worry as I walked over to him, his eyes kept glancing back to the car. As if something would happen every second._

 _''What do you want to do?'' I asked him, crossing my arms over each other as a form of comfort._

 _''She's dangerous, we don't know what gonna happen.'' His hand rubbed his scruffy face and he sighed. ''We'll find a place to stay, one that's safe.''_

 _''What are you gonna do to her?'' My eyes were fixed on the door of the car where Elisa was. I was scared to look at my dad, scared I'd see something I didn't want to._

 _''Whatever we have to.'' I noted he said 'we'. The thought of participating, if it meant what I think it did, made me want to curl up into a ball._

 _''We can't leave her, that's cruel.'' I said, thinking that's what he meant. I turned my head to look up at him. His eyes were widened, but only slight, so it was barely visible. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. Then his lips pressed together and he turned his whole body towards the car._

 _''Let's go.'' He said. I wanted to stop him, make him promise me that we wouldn't leave her alone out there. But he was my father, and I believed that he knew what was best._

* * *

 **One week later...**

''Just be safe.'' Rick told us as he gave me and Daryl a quick pat on the back, we both nodded, reassuring things will be fine.

I gave my mother one last hug, calming her down. She wasn't happy with the fact that I was leaving. It would be the first time since we found the prison. My smile was forced, but appreciated none the less as I looked at my mom. She gave me a half-smile, one that was laced with tears. I pretended not to notice as I grabbed my backpack.

It was almost empty. It carried one bottle of water and an extra knife, in case I would need it. I throwing the bag over my shoulder and glanced over at Daryl, checking to see if he was ready. His crossbow was slung over his shoulder and he was swinging one leg over the bike.

Within seconds I heard the roar of the bike coming to life. I hobbled over and placed myself on the bike behind him. I wasn't sure what to do with my hands when Daryl turned to me.

''Ya ready?'' Daryl yelled over the bike.

''Yeah!'' I screamed back, my arms quickly wrapped around his waist and I could feel him tense under my touch. He never said or acted out on it as he let go of the brakes and we rushed forwards, onto the road. The bike was easier for small runs like this one. It could easily swerve around cars and it could go faster than a normal car.

The wind in my hair and face made me close my eyes for a second, taking in the freedom. I couldn't stand the prison anymore. I had been looking at the same walls every single day. Leaving that place felt like I was leaving a weight behind.

I know a lot of people would scold me for not wanting to stay there. It was safe, kind of, and other people would be begging to have that. But the suffocation was still there. I'm guessing Daryl felt the same way. He was the first one to volunteer when Rick suggested a supply run.

For the last few days, Daryl and I had gotten along fine. We didn't really have a lot of conversations together, but we also didn't argue. He was mostly silent and just accepted the fact that I was here, so did I. I was glad about that. It seemed like he was finally starting to trust me, or at least stop distrusting me.

Daryl was always trying to be as nonchalant as possible, but when I saw how he looked at everyone in the group, how he always offered to help. There wasn't a doubt in the world that he cared, he just didn't like to show it.

After about 20 minutes of driving, Daryl stopped his bike and turned off the engine. I quickly swung my leg over the the other side and stepped off the bike We stopped at what used to be a kindergarten. The place paint was flaking en the windows were dusty, but overall the place seemed to be untouched. No walker's wandered outside, which was a good sign. I quickly sneaked towards the front door and turned the handle. Locked.

''Too easy, I guess.'' I commented and Daryl snorted in agreement. We walked over towards one of the windows and I swiftly broke the glass, flinching a bit as the glass scattered everywhere.

''Ya know, you could have just tried to pick the lock.'' He told me, trailing behind me. I grabbed my jacket and threw it over the window, making sure we wouldn't get glass in our hands.

''Where's the fun in that.'' I grinned up at him and jumped into the room.

The place was covered in dust, but it didn't look like anyone had been hidden here. At least, not in this room. There were two cribs pushed against the wall an old TV was placed above the two cribs, also covered in dust. Different kind of toys were scattered across the ground, I saw a stack of DVD's pushed up against the wall. It must have been some kind of playroom. There were no signs that indicated that somebody had been here after the outbreak.

I turned over towards Daryl, he was staring at a wall. I shivered when I saw what was on the wall. Dozen little papers in the form of hands covered the wall. On each hand was a name written on it. All those kids, would some of them still be alive? Probably not.

Before I could say something about it, Daryl walked over to one of the cabinets and started to search through them. I pressed my lips together as I watched him, the opportunity was gone, there'd be no reason for me to ask him about those little hands. Still, he had sparked my curiosity, did he have kids once? Daryl never seemed like the person who'd have kids, or even have a significant other.

I turned my back against the wall and followed his lead, searching the cabinets for anything useful. There wasn't much in there, a few empty bottles and diapers were all that was left.. Maybe someone had come across this place. We still grabbed what was left and stuffed it into our bags.

When I was done searching all off the cabinets, Daryl was already checking another room. I let him to it and silently opened the door that was on the left of the previous room.

There was a small bathtub, for babies, placed on one of the counters and next to it you could find a commode, for changing the baby. I looked in the drawers and found a few clothing items, I stuffed them in my bag, hoping they would fit the baby. After checking out the rest of the room all I found was, another pair of diapers, some baby shampoo and a towel, which could also be useful to us.

I walked out of the room only to be stopped by a noise in the room across mine. I looked around me to find Daryl in the hallway, walking towards me. He must have heard the noise too, because he put one finger on his lips and put the flashlight in his mouth before raising his crossbow.

He slowly opened the door and motioned for me to get in. The sound we heard came from the closet, it was like somebody was pounding against it. A horrible thought occurred me. What if it was a baby, a walker baby? Goosebumps covered my skin as I thought of a baby being locked in a closet. I shook my head, we didn't even know if it was a walker. I reached towards the handle slowly, careful not to make any noises, before quickly opening it.

The thing inside the closet wasn't a baby, fortunately, it was a badger. Before it could get away Daryl quickly shot it, it let out a painful shriek before it went silent all together.

''Hello Dinner.'' Daryl said enthusiastically.

''I am not putting that in my bag.'' I pointed out to him, he just shrugged and grabbed the badger, putting it in his own bag. I rolled my eyes at him before opening the cabinets in the room. I almost gasped when I saw the baby formula standing untouched in the cabinet.

''Yes.'' I whispered and quickly put them in my bag. There were 2 cans of formula, which should be enough for a few weeks.

There were a few silent moments, with Daryl putting the animal in his bag and me putting the formula in mine. There wasn't any certainty that Lori was going to survive childbirth, even with my mom, there could be a possibility that she needed C-section and we didn't have the right equipment for that, so we needed this formula, for if things went wrong.

''Daryl,'' I spoke, not turning around to look at him. I just kept staring at my bag. ''Do you think Lori is going to survive labour?'' This time I did turn around, Daryl just looked at me. Expression unreadable.

''Lori's tough, she can handle it.'' He just said and I nodded, unsure what to say next. ''Why you ask?''

''I just-'' I started, not sure what I was going to say, ''I want her to survive, I really do, but- If she needs a C-section I think the chances are very small that she's going to survive.'' I said while throwing my bag over my shoulder, Daryl did the same thing and we started to walk back, neither of us saying anything.

''She'll live.'' Was the only thing he said, I just silently nodded. I didn't know if he believed those words himself, or if he was reassuring me or himself, but it did help a little bit. It was just nice to know that not everyone thought she was going to die.

We both got on the bike and I wrapped my arms around Daryl's torso, my heart fluttered a bit at the close contact, but I quickly ignored it and waited for Daryl to start driving.

When we arrived at the prison, I noticed that Carl was the only one by the gates. This unnerved me a little bit since I couldn't see anyone else near the gates, or on the field for that matter. It seems like Daryl felt the same way, with my arms around his waist I could feel him tense up at the fact that Carl was the only one here.

We quickly drove to where all the other cars were parked and from the corner of my eye I could see Carl following us, after he closed the gate. I climbed off the bike and ran towards Carl, Daryl following close behind me.

When we came closer to the little boy, I noticed the tears that stained his cheeks and shirt. His eyes were red and puffy and his breaths were short.

''Carl! What's-'' I started, looking down at the distressed boy.

''It's mom.'' He quickly said and the moment he said that, I couldn't move anymore, I could only stare at him. The worst scenarios flickered through my mind and I had to snap my attention back to Carl.

''She's having the baby.''

''Wha'?'' Daryl said, stepping forward.

''She's having the baby right now.''


	11. Chapter 11

**Update: Rewritten 15/7/2017**

* * *

 **We are pushed and fallen down**

 **Into this ground and space**

My legs carried me to the infirmary. My brain wasn't operating properly. The only thought that was going through my mind was Lori. Her screams echoed through the prison and goosebumps were covering my body. Daryl and Carl were beside me and together we ran through the prison towards the sounds of pain.

Outside of the room the whole group was gathered together. Maggie and Glenn were holding each other's hand, their faces full of worry. Axel was pacing around, Oscar trying to calm him down. When they heard us barging in, their faces snapped up. Glenn let out a sigh of relief.

''Aubrey, you need to go in there. Jennifer needs you.'' I swallowed thickly, trying to push away the emotion that flooded my mind. I glanced over at Daryl and Carl before turning back to Glenn. My eyes flashed over to the door, where Lori would be.

''Where's Rick?'' I asked. The tough behaviour I had build up for myself was crumbling down. I could feel the wall slowly breaking and I was trying everything I could to keep it up.

Glenn's eyes only turned towards the door, providing me of my answer. I nodded in understanding before walking over to the door and entering the room.

When I stepped foot inside the infirmary, the screams intensified and I had to stop myself from covering my ears. I took in the scene before me. My mom and Hershel were hunched over Lori, giving her directions and guidance. Rick was sitting on a stool beside the bed, holding Lori's hand.

I could feel Carl behind me. My head turned in his direction and I could see him staring at his mother. His gaze confused and pained at seeing Lori this way. Within a flash, Carol had stepped forward, grabbing Carl by the arm and pulling him with her. I nodded my thanks to Carol, who only attempted a weak smile back. Her gaze flickering to Lori with concern, before disappearing and closing the door behind her.

The sound of the door had caught the pairs attention and Hershel en my mother turned to me. My eyes didn't meet any of them. They were focused on Lori. The screaming had ceased and she was just panting now. She was pouring sweat, her eyes looking exhausted. The pool of blood surrounding the bed made me sick and I wished I was anywhere but here.

''Aubrey!'' She sighed in relief, ''Good, I need your help!'' The panic was clear in her voice. We didn't have much time and needed to hurry. Still the only thing that I could focus on was Lori, and the blood that covered my mother's hands. I seemed to be frozen. Unable to even believe in the possibility that I could be helpful.

''Aubrey!'' My mother snapped at me. I blinked once. Twice. And then I walked over to the bucket of water, quickly washing my hands the best that I could before joining my mother.

''Lori, you have to breathe for me sweetheart. I'm going to examine your cervix.'' Lori took a deep breath and nodded, giving her permission to do so. My mother's eyes snapped over to her face before returning to inspect Lori. She grunted at the uncomfortableness of it all and I wished I could do more to help.

''You're about 4 centimeters, Lori. You're doing great.'' Instead of saying anything, Lori scrunched up her face together and tried not to show in how much pain she was.

''I need to push.'' Lori said through gritted teeth. Rick's face was one of worry, knowing from previous experience that 4 centimeters weren't enough. My head snapped over to my mother's, trying to look for an expression. A sign that would tell me the situation.

''Lori, you can't.'' My mom spoke, wanting to explain it to her. But even before she had finished speaking, Lori clenched her jaw and started to push. After a few second she let out a terrifying scream.

Within seconds Hershel shot over to the equipment table, grabbing tools which I didn't know the name off. My mother stepped away from Lori's bottom to walk over to her. i took her place, knowing somebody would need to keep an eye on her.

''Lori, you need to listen right now!'' She said, which got Lori's attention. Her face was scrunched up in pain and I wondered if she was actually able to focus on my mom. ''If you keep pushing you could rip your cervix, or your baby could get stuck and suffocate.''Lori's pained face mixed with worry, The thought of her baby kept her from pushing again, only it was too late.

''Mom?'' I shakily said, she turned towards me and her eyes widened at the sight. My hands were covered in blood, Lori's blood. Rick turned pale and his eyes went from Lori to my hands. My eyes were staring at my hand, unable to process the amount of blood still coming from Lori's bottom.

''Rick,'' My mom said, noticing the sudden change in his behaviour. ''You need to leave.'' Rick wanted to object, but he glanced over at Lori, then back at my mother and realised it was for the best. Lori needed to focus, and Rick didn't need to see this.

''She needs a C-section.'' She mumbled and turned towards Hershel, asking him about some kind of medication we had. Hershel quickly inserted something in Lori's arm.

''Aubrey, I need your help.'' She spoke, her eyes full of determination. She looked fierce and for a second, just for one tiny second I understood why she chose this as her job

''Hershel's gonna give her the medication she need and he's going to give her some blood if that's needed. '' She said and my eyes looked at Hershel, he had all sorts of medication on the table, I didn't even know what half of that stuff was. ''I'm going to cut Lori open and I want you to get the baby out.''

''C-Can't Hershel-'' I started but was cut off by my mom.

''No, Hershel has the blood type 0 negative, we need that. Plus, he knows a lot more about the medication then we do. You're going to have to do it.'' I could only nod as my mom pushed me down on a chair, I noticed my hands were shaking.

I didn't want to be in charge of somebody's life like this. The thought that Lori could very well die by my mistakes was imprinted in my mind. My brain seemed to be somewhere else as I examined Lori, only thinking about what could happen if she died.

My mom grabbed some kind of knife from the table and looked over to Lori. ''Lori?'' My mom said and Lori could only nod.

''This is gonna hurt.'' She said before cutting Lori's belly open. Lori screamed bloody murder and I couldn't help but flinch at the sound. I tried not to look at Lori's face, knowing that if I did I would definitely flip out. Instead I focused on my mother, she was careful, only cutting as far as was necessary. After a minute of just staring at Lori's belly without really looking at it, a sound reached my ears.

''Aubrey!'' My mom screamed and I blinked, looking up at my mom. She was waiting for me to do something and it took me a couple of seconds before I realised what I was supposed to do.

''Get the baby!'' I quickly reached my hands inside the belly, trying to find the baby. ''I-I can feel it's head.'' I stuttered, trying not to think about what I was doing.

''Good,'' My mom said, not looking at me, she was trying to control the bleeding. Which didn't go as successfully as she wanted. ''Now gently pull the baby out.'' I did as I was told. Grabbing the head of the baby in the most gentle manner I could muster and tugged at it. I could feel the body coming towards me as I pulled it. My hand shot out to grab it's back as it left Lori's belly.

I held the baby in my arms as I went looking for a blanket. There was a blanket next to Hershel and he handed it to me with a slight smile. I wrapped it around the tiny human in my arms and couldn't help but stare at it as I did.

''I-It's a girl.'' I whispered and looked up at my mom and Hershel, they were both smiling at me.

''She isn't crying?'' I said, which sounded more like a question. ''Rub her heart and pat her on the back.'' My mom said, she looked like she wanted to take over, but she let me do it. Which I appreciated. I softly rubbed her heart and gently laid her on my shoulder before patting her back. It took a few tries but eventually the baby coughed and the sound of crying filled the room.

There were a few seconds of happiness that filled the room, everyone was looking at the wonderful baby in my arms. This small child was still so innocent. She had learned nothing of this world yet. There would be so many people loving her, caring for her.

''She looks like her mother.'' I mumbled, caressing her face with my finger. As if on cue,we all turned to look at the woman in question and our faces fell. Lori had turned a sickening colour of pale while the skin around her eyes was red from the crying. Her arms were limply hanging by her side and her head was turned, her mouth open and barely breathing.

My mom grabbed the baby in my hands and put her in the carton box we had prepared for the baby. After that my mom's full attention was directed towards Lori. Hershel grabbed the IV while my mom started to fix the wound in her belly.

''Aubrey, it's time for you to go.'' My mom said and I immediately wanted to object. But I also knew I would be of no help. I didn't have any medical degree whatsoever. I would only distract them.

I walked out of the infirmary and I only just now noticed how shaky my legs were. I had to force myself to stand up straight and not fall over. When I faced the group I was met with expressions full of worry and fear. Their eyes flickered over to my hands and as I looked down at them I realised they were covered in blood.

Rick quickly stepped forward.

''Lori?'' He questioned and I just bit my lip, willing myself not to cry.

''Sh-She-She's-'' Were the only words I could speak, she wasn't dead. At least, not yet. Rick took another step forward and attempted to walk past me but I quickly grabbed his wrist.

He froze. He slowly looked back at me and then at the hand that was holding his wrist. He waited a few second before pulling himself away. We both stared at the wrist that was now, like my hands, covered in blood. Lori's blood.

''She's s-stil alive.'' I whispered and the only thing Rick could do was nod, before pushed himself away from me.. ''Don't'' I attempted weakly, but I was ignored as he walked into the infirmary.

When Rick walked into the room he slammed the door behind him, making me flinch. I continued to stare at it for a few minutes before slowly looking back at everyone. My hands were still shaking and I felt like I could faint any second now. I put my hand against the wall, so I could support myself.

''It's a girl.'' I said searching the group, before my eyes fell on the face I was looking for. Carl wasn't looking back. His gaze was set on the door. His eyes were hard and I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated.

''We should get ya cleaned up.'' Daryl spoke and I only nodded. I took a small step forward, but stopped when I didn't feel like I could support myself. Luckily Daryl noticed this and he grabbed my arm, throwing it over his shoulder.

''Sorry.'' I mumbled

''Ya ain't got nothing to apologize for.'' He said, guiding me to the showers.


	12. Chapter 12

**Update: Rewritten 26/7/2017**

* * *

 **This is our time**

 **No turning back**

''Don't drop her.'' My mom warned me, as she handed me the little bundle which had a tiny human inside. She had grown so much in the last couple of days. Her eyes had opened to show two beautiful blue irises and slowly but surely facial expressions were starting to develop.

We still had to give her a name. Daryl kept calling her 'lil' asskicker', though amusing, none of us were really sure if it was suited for the little lady. Before her birth, Lori had been wanting to discuss this topic with Rick. But since their relationship hadn't been top notch, they never got to it. And even now, no one was sure if Lori would make it.

The operation had really done a number on her. She was still unconscious in bed, Hershel and my mother constantly watching her. Rick was by Lori's side every single day. He would only come out of that room for food or a shower. He wasn't really present anymore, his only focus was Lori right now. Daryl and Glenn had stepped up, sensing Rick's inability at the moment.

But we mostly did everything together as a group. We divided the tasks between us and whenever there was a decision to make, we let everybody say their part. Making a decision based on everyone's opinion.

Carl wasn't taking the news well either, but instead of visiting his mother. He completely ignored her. He was avoiding the infirmary as much as possible and he turned down every conversation we tried to have with him about the situation. When there was a run we had to make, Carl would be the first to volunteer and since his mother nor his dad were capable of making those decisions, we did. Most of the time we let him go with, depending on the level of danger that would be there.

There had been numerous runs to try and find more baby formula, but so far we hadn't been luckily. Time was running out and we kept going further out, hoping to actually find something useful. I was slowly starting to lose hope, but whenever I held little-asskicker in my arms the determination would set in. I couldn't give up, not for this little girl. I just hoped that Lori would wake up soon and be able to feed her child herself. Preferably, before we ran out of formula.

As I held the tiny human in my hands I couldn't help but smile, she was so small and yet she seemed to lift everyone's spirit up whenever she was in the room. The most beautiful thing about her were her eyes. They were light-blue and sometimes a bit grey. They were still so innocent, she didn't have anything to worry about. I was sure the whole group agreed with me when I said, we'd do anything to keep it that way.

The door opened and Glenn stepped into the room. In his hand he held a backpack and he was wearing his hat again. Glenn was very fond if this hat, though he rarely wears it. He always keeps it in his back pocket or more recently in his cell. I asked him about it once and he just shrugged, saying it was important to him. Now that he was wearing it he looked younger, a bit more carefree

''Hi Jennifer,'' He nodded towards my mom, who gave him a bright smile back.

''Hello Glenn, how are you doing?'' She asked him, he politely answered with a 'fine' before turning his attention to me. His eyes flickered over to little-asskicker, a small smile covering his face before they went back to me.

''You ready?'' He asked, his head nudging towards the door. Signalling he was ready to leave.

''Yup,'' I answered, turning to my mom. I handed her the little girl, stroking her cheek really quickly before grabbing my jacket I had thrown onto the chair and leaving the room.

Within minutes, both of us were ready to leave. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and gave a thumbs up to Glenn, when Carl came walking in.

''Can I come too?'' He asked us. His eyes were hopeful as he tried to give us the puppy dog look. He'd already been present for a few runs, this one shouldn't be dangerous. I looked over at Glenn, trying to see what his thoughts were on this. His eyes met mine and we both exchanged a look.

I sighed, knowing it was my call.

''Go get your back.''

* * *

The shop was quiet. The only thing that was audible were the groans coming from the walker who was roaming around in the store. His head was hung low in, what I only can imagine as, boredom. The walker hadn't noticed me yet. So I softly stepped foot inside the store, Glenn and Carl following close behind.

I signalled to him that I would take this one down and he nodded, taking his gun out in case things would get messy. I pulled out the machete that was hanging in my belt and took a step closer. It's back was turned to me, making it easier for me to kill it.

Within second the walker was on the ground, his existence brought to an end. I stumbled a bit as the machete got stuck in its skull, dragging it down to the ground. I let go of the weapon as it fell down with its victim, before pulling it out again.

The pharmacy was small. It was around the size of an average bedroom, so my guess was that it used to be a local pharmacy, nothing big. Most of the selves in this place were already robbed and empty. But I crouched down in the hope to find anything useful.

There were bottles of which I had no idea what they meant, but I still shoved them inside my bag. I also found a few protein bars and happily stood up.

''Hey guys,'' I said and threw both of them a bar as they turned around. They caught it and gave me a smile as they realised what I had handed them.

I gave a quick look around, trying to see if there would be anything left to check out. My eyes went over to the counter, wondering if there would be anything useful there. I walked over there slowly, hoping that nothing alive would be hiding behind it.

''Money isn't really going to help us, is it?'' He joked as he disappeared behind another shelve.

''I wasn't looking for-'' I stopped when I saw what was behind the counter. The body that was hiding behind the counter had been female. She seemed to be a bit heavy weighed, but I couldn't be sure with all the chunks taken out of her. The bullet in her forehead, told me that there was a possibility she had taken her own life.

''What'd you find?'' Glenn asked, a bit concerned by my sudden silence. ''Oh.'' he said when he saw the body. I shared a look with him before both of us grabbed a foot. She was sitting in front of the shelves that were hidden under the counter. Both of us pulled her away, clearing the area out.

My eyes snapped over one of the shelves and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I grabbed a bottle of antiseptic ointment and antibiotic ointment, silently cheering to myself. I was lucky, the woman had blocked the view and prevented others from raiding this.

''Did you find anything?'' I asked them, standing up and slinging the bag over my shoulders.

''I didn't find a lot, I found some vitamins for kids and pregnancy pills.'' He awkwardly spoke. My eyes snapped up to him and I couldn't help but chuckle at his words exchanging a glance with Carl.

''Y-You never know what's gonna happen.'' He tried to defend himself, flashing a bit red. I grinned a bit at that and turned my head, preventing him from seeing my grin.

We left the pharmacy soon after that. Finding nothing else useful. We had checked the remaining stores, but most of them weren't any help. Carl was walking ahead, trying to pretend he was the leader. The walk back to the prison was about an hour. But it saved a lot of gas, plus we could be more quiet this way. Sneaking up on walkers and people were more efficient.

I'd wished we had found some formula for Lori and the baby. But the vitamins and antibiotics were already a huge help. With a group like ours, we needed those antibiotics. And Lori could use the vitamins.

I thought of Glenn's reaction when I asked him about the pregnancy pills. Were Maggie and Glenn planning on having a baby? I glanced over at Glenn real quick, he could definitely be a good parent. I imagined him holding a little baby and smiled to myself, that would be adorable. Maggie and Glenn having a baby. I could definitely see that happen, maybe even in the near future.

 _''Are you ever going to be a mom?'' Teresa asked me, her head tilting up so she could look at me. The question had thrown me off, not sure how to react to that._

 _''Maybe one day, but not right now.'' I answered boldly. It sounded like a lie. We had been walking for days, Mud and blood covered her body and face and I almost flinched every time I looked at her. She shouldn't grow up in such a horrible world, it wasn't safe for her. I had noticed the slight changes in her behaviour. How her language sounded more mature than a month before. How she didn't cry anymore when a walker appeared. The fear for those creatures was slowly fading away._

 _Was that how it was supposed to go? Aren't children supposed to be scared of something? I felt like she was slowly losing parts of the Teresa she used to be. Her innocence was slowly fading away._

 _''Why not?''_

I flinched at the sudden replay of memory. I hadn't thought about that moment for a while. It was the first time I actually noticed how grown up she sounded. The term 'mommy' had been replaced with the word 'mom' or 'mother' and it just didn't feel right.

She never showed it anymore when she was afraid. The only time I actually saw it again was when-

I stopped my train of thoughts and turned to Glenn.

''Glenn?'' I almost cringed when I heard my voice. If he noticed anything he ignored it, probably seeing my face. He hummed as an answer.

''Have you ever been really angry?'' He raised an eyebrow at my question and I quickly continued talking, explaining myself. ''I mean, so angry that you-'' I stopped for a second, trying to find the right words. ''-that your mind was blank.''

''You mean a breaking point?'' I nodded, although it wasn't exactly what I meant, it was close enough for me.

''I haven't had it yet, guess I'm lucky huh?'' He attempted to joke, trying to give me a smile, but it fell when he saw my face. I was mostly looking at my feet, glancing at Glenn sometimes. The tension was rising and Glenn knew something was up.

''What about you?'' He asked, curiosity filled in his voice. He already knew the answer to the question, I guess he just wanted an explanation.I opened my mouth, but closed it again. I didn't want to tell him the truth. The shame and guilt was hitting my right in the face whenever I thought about it, imagine the feeling when you told it to someone. You would be able to see the expression on their face, the look of disgust.

I opened my mouth again, and was planning to come up with a lie or a way to avoid the question when a sound interrupted all of our thoughts.

Glenn and I instantly looked up, towards the sky. Carl's head shot up to and within seconds he came running back to us.

''A helicopter.'' I whispered as my eyes followed the black dot in the air.

''What's it doing?'' He asked as we both looked at the dark spot in the sky. ''Is it landing?'' Carl spoke up.

I shook my head as I lifted my hand to shield my eyes from the sun.

''No,'' I told him, keeping my eyes fixated on the object. ''it's crashing.''


	13. Chapter 13

**Update: Rewritten 27/7/2017**

* * *

 **The sudden ease when you arrive**

 **and it's you, that makes me try.**

I violently shoved the shirt back into the tub of water, trying to force the blood splatters out of there. It was taking too long. Glenn was taking too long.

It had been hours since he decided to go investigate the helicopter, on his own. My attempts at joining him had been turned down immediately. He wanted to do this on his own, he didn't want to have to worry about Carl, or even me. Besides, Carl joining Glenn was definitely out of the question, but I couldn't just sent him home on his own. So after a bit of hesitation, I let Glenn go and joined Carl. Glenn had given me his backpack and his hat and told me he'd be back before dark.

But it had been too long. The sun was starting to set and there was still no sign of him. Daryl and Maggie and I were already planning on a run, trying to find him, but we had to wait until the next morning. Stumbling around in the dark wasn't going to do us much good, we wouldn't be able to find the helicopter that way, let alone Glenn.

I was done with the brown shirt I had been washing, it wouldn't get clean. So I angrily threw the shirt into another pile, starting on a pair of pants.

In an attempt to distract myself from my guilt and thoughts, I had picked up several house duties. Carol, though grateful for my help, was standing next to me with a worried look on her face. She was wringing out the wet clothes I had thrown into a pile and hung them up on a line.

Carol attempted several conversations, sensing how stressed out I was. But most of them didn't really stick. We would chat for a few minutes before the silence returned again. And with the silence came the worry.

''How's Lori doing?'' I asked the woman next to me. I turned my head slightly towards her, but didn't look her in the eye. I knew Carol would visit Lori frequently. She helped my mother and Hershel in the infirmary.

''She hasn't woken up yet, but Hershel says she probably will.'' She spoke with a slight smile. I breathed out a sigh of relief. If Hershel thought that way, then things were definitely looking up for the better.

''I hope so,'' I mumbled,

''Aubrey,'' I heard a familiar voice behind me. I smiled at the sight of the hunter. He was holding Little asskicker in his arms, softly rocking her back and forth. Daryl had been really good with the girl, something that surprised all of us. When he wasn't busy with runs or other important things, he'd always volunteer to watch the child. He had really stepped up, considering Rick barely even looked at his own kid.

''What's up?'' I asked, dropping one of the shirts back in the bucket and fully turning around, signalling he had my attention.

''Can ya watch lil' asskicker for me?'' He nodded to the little girl in his arms. I gave him an affirmative answer and walked over to the pair. He handed me little asskicker with a smile and when I looked up in his eyes, my heart stopped for a second. I wasn't sure what I had seen, but my breath got caught in my throat and I had to look away.

Daryl stood there for a second, but I was unable to see his face, before he also left. He grabbed his crossbow before leaving the common room, not a glance in our direction as he left.

I was just stunned, This had never happened to me when I was around Daryl. So instead of asking myself what it actually was. I pushed the feeling away and focused on the person in my arms.

She was silently watching me with her blue eyes, almost observing me. There was some blond hair sticking out of the beanie we got when Daryl and I went to the kindergarten. I was wondering how she'd take this world, this world would be normal for her. She'd grow up watching us kill walkers, grow up with a gun in her hand. She'll probably be stronger than all of us.

I sighed, thinking about all the things she'd have to go through. If she'd survive that long of course. I scolded myself for thinking like that. Rick'd do anything to keep her and Carl safe, and when Lori wakes up, I knew she'll do just the same. And I knew the rest of the group would too, I sure as hell would.

Despite not knowing how to take care of a baby, taking care of little asskicker was easy. She barely cried since the day she was born. She only ever did when she actually wanted something, food for example. As I held her in my arms, her eyes started to droop a little bit and I couldn't help but think we needed to get her a crib soon. I should go on a run to get one, maybe I could search some houses about a mile away, it'd be closer than the kindergarten and who knows what else we'd find?

Carol had left to room a while ago, telling me she was going to look for my mother. My mom had changed these past weeks. She was less frightened of everything that moved and had really crawled out of her shell. I wasn't the only person she had left anymore, she had gotten friends. I wondered if she still cried herself to sleep. Probably not, I hadn't heard it anymore.

My heart jumped when Hershel came in, scaring me. He was holding his crutching and slowly but surely moving forwards. He had been practising a lot with walking around and sitting and standing up. You could clearly see that he was improving.

He wondered if he could have the little girl for a while, to check up on her. I nodded in response and handed him the girl. I thought this would be a good chance to go and see how Daryl was doing. I had unconsciously found myself turning to Daryl whenever there was nothing to do. I enjoyed the company of the hunter. Despite his temper, could be very calm. Daryl was an interesting person. Whenever someone in the group would be in danger, he'd always be the first to head out. He'd do it without question. It didn't matter if there was a plan or not, or if they were surrounded by walkers. If someone needed him, he'd be there. But when everything was quiet, he'd be calm. He would observe and think rationally instead of diving into a conclusion.

I stepped outside, into the prison field. The sky was already turning grey and I shivered at the upcoming cold. I wish Glenn would come back soon.

I found Daryl in one of the towers, his eyes narrowed in the direction where the helicopter had crashed.

''Hey,'' I said and he looked over at me, he didn't say anything but motioned for me to come in, before looking back to the forest. Like I said, he was calm. But the restlessness was starting to set in the darker it became. It was already very clear that none of us would sleep tonight if Glenn didn't come back.

''Seen anything yet?'' He shook his head, still staring at the forest. The trees were rustling slightly because of the wind, but furthermore there was nothing of interest. A few walkers were stumbling around the gates in an attempt to get in. A bird would occasionally fly by, but it was quiet.

''Nothin', 'S too quiet.'' He mumbled, picking on something with his crossbow.

I sat next to him, cross legged and my hands behind me, so I could lean on them.

''You think something's wrong?'' Again he shook his head, but this time a bit more hesitant.

''The Korean said he'd be back before dark, 's not dark yet.'' I looked back at the place where the helicopter crashed, instead of the black smoke coming out of the trees, it was now white, signaling that the fire has stopped.

''I wonder what's taking him so long.'' I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

''Ya worried?'' He asked, his attention now on me instead of the forest. It made me feel a bit uneasy, I tried not to avoid his gaze, since that'd make it more awkward, but I couldn't look him in the eye for long.

''I don't know.'' I said, but I knew that it wasn't true. Glenn was smart and one of the fastest in the group. But anything could have happened. ''Yes,'' I admitted after a few seconds. Of course I was worried, it was starting to get dark.

''Glenn can take of 'imself.'' Daryl spoke out my thoughts and I nodded.

''Yeah, I know.'' I said and for the first time since I got here I looked up into his eyes. I found he was already staring at me. His blue eyes were so intense that my breath got caught in my throat. My heart stopped for a second, before picking up its pace. It was now pounding inside my chest as I stared at the hunter next to me. I had turned my body towards him and without thinking, slowly started to lean in.

I hadn't realised Daryl was doing to same until we were almost 3 inches apart, my eyes widened and within seconds I had stumbled back at the same time Daryl did. I awkwardly coughed, trying to cover up the fact that my heart was still pounding inside my chest. Could Dary hear it? Both of us turned away from each other. Trying to act like nothing ever happened.

What the hell? What did I just do? What did he just do? I could feel my face heating up, and I stared down at the walkers by the fence. This was the most awkward-

My thoughts stopped as I spotted someone down at the ground. The situation instantly forgotten I turned to Daryl.

''Daryl.'' I said, grabbing his arm. He seemed startled by my sudden action but I quickly pointed at the fence, trying to ignore his reaction.

''Somebody's at the fence.''


	14. Chapter 14

**Update: Rewritten 29/7/2017**

* * *

 **And maybe I bit off more than I could chew**

 **And overhead of the aqua blue.**

 _A day had passed and Elisa was getting worse and worse._

 _We were hauled up in a gas station, my dad had found an old radio and was trying to tune into several stations, hoping to find one that was still broadcasting. So far we hadn't been lucky. My mom was huddled onto a mattress with Teresa who was sound asleep._

 _Sarah and I had been watching over Elisa, making sure she was still breathing. But it had become pretty clear that she wouldn't make it. Her skin had turned pale, her eyes were red and there were dark circles under her eyes. Every movement made her groan in pain and she was constantly crying. She knew it too. She knew she wouldn't survive this. Her body was giving up on her. She couldn't eat, could move and her heart was slowing down and her organs were failing her._

 _I exchanged a look with Sarah, tears in both of our eyes as we stared down at the young girl. There was nothing we could do for her._

' _We do whatever we have to' My dad's voice replayed in the back of my mind. This is what he meant. She would die and we might have to put her out of her misery. But I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. Just give up on someone's life?_

 _Elisa started to cough and blood spluttered out of her mouth. Sarah was quick to grab a cloth that was laying next to her and wiped away the blood while I turned Elisa over to her side. My dad quickly looked up from his radio, distraught by the sounds coming from the girl. I met his gaze quickly. His eyebrows were furrowed and he seemed to be in deep thought._

 _Both of us jumped when the radio suddenly made a sound. An actual sound._

'' _If anyone reads- we have.. to respond..-'' My dad quickly started to try and tune in. The voice became clearer and we were actually able to listen to it._

'' _-to stay away from the infected people. Do not communicate with them in any way.'' There was a small moment of silence before the narrator continued, ''There is a camp a few miles north outside Atlanta.''_

 _That information made everyone's head snap up. We all exchanged a look. A camp? There will be more people, more survivors. Within those two seconds we all had the same plan. Find the camp. But how? The voice had stopped for a few seconds before repeating the same information._

'' _I repeat, if anyone reads, we have a camp. Please respond. We advise you to stay away from the infected people, Do not communicate with them in any way. There is a camp a few miles north outside Atlanta. This is office Shane Walsh, tomorrow I will return with the same information.'' There was a small silence again, before he spoke his last words. ''Stay safe everyone.''_

 _My dad sighed and placed the radio next to him, he seemed defeated. I had never seen my dad so worried. He was always one step forwards, one level ahead. But now none of us really knew what to do. We knew we were going to the camp, but we didn't know where it was. And we were currently below Atlanta, which meant that or we needed to go through it, or around it. We all knew Atlanta wasn't safe, they had bombed the place about a few weeks back. Things were really starting to fall apart._

 _Sarah and I had turned towards my mom and my dad, watching them with concern. Fortunately, Teresa was sleeping. She looked so peaceful, so innocent. I couldn't help but smile slightly at the small frame that was huddled in a blanket._

 _I looked up at my mom, expecting her to be almost asleep too. But she wasn't. The look on her face was full of horror, her mouth was starting to open, ready to scream. At first I thought she was looking at me, but then I heard it._

 _The slight moans coming from behind me. I immediately turned around, at the same time my mother started to scream. A hand reached out and grabbed me by the arm. Her strong fingers gripped the skin tightly, cutting off the circulation._

 _A scream erupted from my throat and I stumbled back as Elisa lunged for me. Her eyes were white and her mouth was still bloody from when she had caught it up. Her mouth was headed for my arm and I pulled back with everything I got, except she was way to strong. I lifted my foot up and kicked her right in the face. I could hear a bone crack and almost gagged at the fact I had broken someone's nose._

 _Still, Elisa kept coming and when she lunge for me again, I knew it was over. I tried to pull back but to no avail, she still kept coming. I could feel a few drops of blood splatter on my arms and I shivered at the feeling. Her teeth were almost there when-_

 _A gunshot rang out, next to my ear. Elisa fell down, dead. There was a faint ringing in my ear as I looked at the girl. I hadn't noticed I was crying. Only when teardrops fell down on my hand, I realised it. I wiped the tears away, not wanting to start bawling like a little girl._

 _I looked up to see my dad standing there, gun still pointed at Elisa's head. As if she would get up again. His eyes met mine and his face fell. He knew how much I had hoped she would survive. That maybe there would still be a chance for her. But I guess now we knew. You get bit. You die._

Daryl and I sprinted down the stairs and onto the field.

''I'm gonna get Rick. Don't do anythin' stupid!'' He yelled at me as we ran towards the fences. He changed direction and left me alone with the woman. I reached the fences by myself.

Several walkers had gathered around, excited to see me. At first I wondered why the walkers hadn't noticed the woman yet but when I looked closer, the dark spots on her clothes were clearly visible. Multiple pieces of brain were scattered on her body and I tried not to look disgusted as I took in her appearance. So she was smart. She definitely looked like it.

She was a dark-skinned woman with dreadlocks that were currently hanging in front of her face. The quick movements of her chest signalled to me that she was panting. My gaze snapped over to her hands. In her right hand she was holding a long sword, it was gripped tightly making her knuckles turn pale. Her left hand was clutching her leg. There seemed to be a wound there. Blood was slowly pouring out of it, despite her attempts to stop the bleeding.

She seemed to be in pain, although trying to hide it. Her lips pressed together as she slowly lifted her left hand, taking a look at the wound. Immediately red liquid started to drip down her pants and her hand was also covered in it. The heads of the dead turned towards the smell, hungry for their next meal.

The woman glanced around her, noticing the she had drawn the attention of the dead. The first walker that closed in on her lost its head within seconds, the blade cutting through the neck like butter.

I had to say I was impressed. It didn't seem like a skill you could just pick up. It required training, and she clearly had been practising with it. The remaining 5 walkers were now headed towards the woman too.

The bleeding figure stumbled back in an attempt to creature more space between her and the walkers. I knew that it was now or never. She was too weak to take on 5 walkers. But together we could easily do it.

I grabbed the key that was tied to my belt and swiftly opened the fence. Storming out to help her. I had drawn my machete and was on my way to the woman when one of the walker appeared in front of me. I planted the machete inside its head and didn't even stop to watch it crumble to the ground.

When I looked up at the woman I saw her stumble back, pulling her sword out of a walkers chest. She tripped over her own feet and fell flat on her back.

Three walkers were now headed towards her, closing in on her. I knew I would never be able to make it. I hesitated. Only for a few seconds, before I took my gun out of its holster and raised it. Aiming it at the walkers. When my first shot rang out, I watched the body fall to the ground. The heads of the remaining two walkers turned my way, grabbing their attention.

I pulled the trigger and another one fell to the ground. The only one left, was focused on me. It had completely forgotten about the woman laying a couple feet away from it.

I watched it stumble towards me. I cocked my gun, raising it so that I was aiming for the head and-

A hand held onto my hair, pulling me towards it. I could smell the foul scent of death even before my brain realised what was happening. My head was being pulled backwards and I couldn't help the small scream that left my mouth, though I quickly swallowed it back.

My hands were fumbling with the gun, while still trying to pull myself away. Fortunate for me the gun was already cocked, so I aimed it behind me, right next to my ear. Without any hesitation I pulled the trigger. The blast of the gun caused a ringing in my ear and I stumbled forwards by the sudden change of balance. Drops of blood had splattered on my face and I turned my head to see the walker lying dead on the floor.

I took deep heavy breaths, trying to keep myself from emptying my stomach. That was close, way too close. I raised my head to see the walker was being taken down.

I felt a hand around my arm and before I had a moment to react, I was being pulled up my feet. The glare Daryl directed my way, told me he wasn't too happy with what had just happened. I stepped away from him, feeling uncomfortable by his stare.

''Thanks,'' I mumbled, but he was already walking towards the woman who was now unconscious on the ground.

I glanced around and saw that Rick, Daryl and Carl were outside. Though more people were coming from the prison, curious as to what was going on. Rick came to my side, asking me if everything was alright. When I nodded, both of us went over to the woman.

I automatically grabbed her wrist, looking for a pulse. Fortunately, I found a steady one. But if we didn't do anything soon she might bleed out.

''We need to get her inside.'' I told no one in particular. My eyes glanced over at Daryl, who was clutching his crossbow a little tighter than normal. I quickly averted my gaze, knowing that I was the cause of that.

Rick and Daryl were quick to lift the woman up and bring her inside the prison.

''Aubrey,'' Rick spoke up, ''Grab a blanket.'' I swiftly turned around into the cellblock and grabbed one of the blankets in my room. When I came back we carefully laid the woman down on the blanket.

The second she touched the blanket Daryl turned towards me.

''How stupid are ya, girl?'' He started to yell at me. ''You coulda died out there.''

His one hand was waving around while the other was tightly holding onto his crossbow. His eyebrows were furrowed in anger and he already started to turn red.

''I-'' I started speaking, but I was startled. Never had I seen Daryl this angry, especially not directed towards me. So many people of the group did reckless things, this definitely wasn't _my_ first time. So why the sudden change of behaviour?

Daryl saw how shocked I was and took this as an opportunity to continue yelling.

''I told ya to stay there. To keep outta trouble. And what do ya do? Exactly that!'' His voice seemed to raise with every sentence that came out of his mouth. His southern accent was turning stronger by the minute.

''I did what I had to do.'' I snapped back, ''She would have died if I hadn't helped her.'' My hands were flailing around, trying to come off stronger than I actually felt and I took a step forwards. Getting in his face.

''Besides, I can take care of myself.'' I stated. The response that I got was a snort, which made the anger rise in my throat and my hands clench into fists.

''Yeah we saw that.'' He retorted, taking a step back.

''I took care of it didn't I?'' I took a step forward, noticing how uncomfortable it made him feel. So I took another small step forward, wanting to annoy him. Daryl opened his mouth to react, but Rick beat him to it. Ending the discussion.

''How about we focus on her right now? You can yell at each other later.'' Daryl's jaw twitched for a second before accepting Rick's comment and taking a step towards them. I followed his movement, looking down on the woman below me.

In his hand, Rick had a bottle of water. He poured a small amount of it on her chest, trying to bring her back into consciousness. After a few seconds her eyes fluttered open. Her eyes frantically glanced around, observing her surroundings.

When her gaze fell on her sword a few feet away, she instantly dove towards it. Rick, who had seen it coming, pushed the sword away with his foot and held the woman down with his hands.

''We're not gonna hurt you, unless you try something stupid first. Okay?'' He suggested, she didn't say anything, just glared at him.

''Ya wanna tell us your name?'' Rick asked her, when she didn't answer him he repeated the question. Again, she didn't answer and Rick picked up the sword and walked away.

''I didn't ask for your help.'' She said, this time it was directed towards me.

''It doesn't matter,'' I started.

''-We can't let you leave.'' Rick finished.

Rick had returned to Lori, waiting there until our mystery woman was ready to talk. This sudden situation seemed to have brought Rick back, at least slightly. I assume he was a natural born leader and only needed an event like this to step up again and reclaim his 'title'.

Daryl had gone outside, blowing off some steam. Hershel was staying with the woman until she was actually willing to speak, and I was with Maggie, attempting to comfort her.

''He's done these things several times, and he always came back.'' I reassured her, although I wasn't sure if was reassuring Maggie or myself. My doubts seemed to have been audible through my voice because Maggie sighed.

''Doesn't make it any easier.'' She mumbled, staring out at the wall ahead. Her hands were fiddling with each other as her eyes glazed over, thinking about something.

''Hey,'' I said, grabbing her shoulder in a way of comfort. ''He'll be fine, it's Glenn. We'll go look for him as soon as we can okay?''

I'd like to think I had gotten through to her. Because she gave me a warm smile, through the tears that had built up in her eyes and mumbled an 'okay' to me. Her hand went to wipe away the tears at the same time that we heard something.

''The woman's talking.'' Our head snapped up to the cell door. Daryl was standing in the doorway, his crossbow in his hand. As soon as he had said those words he was off again, towards the common room. We were quick to follow him and only arrived a few seconds after him.

Rick and Hershel were already there, talking to the woman. When they saw us barging in they stopped talking and Rick turned towards us.

"Michonne here," He said, pointing at the woman, "said she saw an Asian boy get taken."

"What!?" Maggie said, stepping forward. "By who?" The panic was clear in her voice, but she seemed to hold it together pretty well. Her hands were clenched into fists by her side and I could see her heart start to pick up its pace. And her heart wasn't the only one.

"By the same son of a bitch who shot me," Michonne started, clutching her leg, which looked better now that Hershel tried to patch it up.

"Well, where is he?" Rick asked, he was shuffling closer by the second. Eager for more answers.

"Woodbury, I think he was taken there?" She said and something familiar twitched in my brain. A thought ran through my mind but it was already gone before I could even think about catching it.

"Woodbury?" I questioned, hoping that by saying the name I would remember something. It seemed to be buried in the back of my mind and I couldn't dig it up. I clenched my jaw in frustration.

"About 75 survivors, town's run by someone who calls himself the Governor," she almost spit his name out as her eyes flared with anger. "Pretty boy, charming, Jim Jones type."

"He got muscle?" Daryl asked.

"They have armed sentries on every wall, but we could slip our way through." She nodded looked around the room, sizing everyone up. As if we were going to battle.

"Let's get ready." Rick said. I suppose we were.


	15. Chapter 15

**Update: Edited 6/8/2017**

 **This one was actual hell to rewrite, I don't know why I had so much trouble with it. But I hope you enjoy anyways :)**

* * *

 **Scream and run**

 **Don't let them win**

The car I was leaning against was rusty and dust covered my back due to the amount on the side of the vehicle. All six of us were crouched down together, careful not to get in the guards' eyesight. Oscar, Rick, Daryl, Michonne, Maggie and me had all decided to go. We were a little surprised that Oscar wanted to join us, but he deserved a chance to prove himself. So Rick decided it was okay.

Michonne had led us to the town. Woodbury. Apparently there were lot of civilians here, barely any fighters. But the leader of the community, the Governor, was one hell of a fighter. Michonne had described him as sly and charming. He had Woodbury wrapped around his finger.

The name still sounded familiar, I couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that I had been here before. But instead of voicing my opinion, I stared at Rick who was explaining our plan. We needed a way in, but so far we hadn't found any possible gaps to slip through.

There were big walls, looked like they were made from scratch, about 3 or 4 guards stood on top of the wall, on watch.

''All right, we need to downsize.'' Rick suggested, looking between us and the wall that covered Woodbury.

''Ain't no way we're gonna check in all them buildings, not with all them guards there.'' Daryl stated. I listened along, not sure what to do right now. But we were stuck. We hadn't found a way in, we couldn't go any further. Glenn was waiting for us inside. Suddenly a twig snapped to my right and in an instant I whirled around, gun raised and when I heard several guns cock, I knew I wasn't to only one.

Michonne appeared from behind the bushes, not at all bothered by the several guns aimed at her. She waved her arm, motioning for us to follow her, before disappearing again.

''Let's go,'' Rick said and we all followed the woman.

Michonne led us to one of the backyards of Woodbury, she peeked over the fence, checking if everything was clear, and then jumped over it. We followed her lead, I was the first to go after, since I was the shortest of everyone. Daryl cupped his hands and boosted me up as I plasced my foot in them. I tried to ignore the way my face reddened and quietly coughed, covering it up.

I murmured a ''Thanks,'' and quickly jumped down. Daryl went over after me, then Rick and then Oscar, since he was the tallest. Michonne was already heading towards the door and all of us started to sprint as quiet as we could to keep up.

It was a pretty house, probably two floors high. It looked blue, but you couldn't see it very well in the dark. I could imagine a perfect little family living in here. Two parents, with a little girl or boy, well dressed and having a well-paid job.

I still couldn't shake off the weird feeling I got from this place, like something wasn't right.

Michonne opened the back door, which led to the living room of the house. Luckily it didn't seem like anyone was staying here. Michonne ignored her surroundings and walked over to another room. There was a table and two chairs, facing each other.

''This is where you were held?'' Rick asked her.

''I was questioned,'' Michonne objected before studying the room. She didn't seem to find what she was looking for because she let out a defeated sigh.

''Any idea where else he could be?'' Rick asked, still not lowering his gun. I couldn't help but find Rick intimidating when he was like this, his guard was up and he was ready to do whatever it took if it meant that his people were safe. It was scary.

Daryl walked over to a curtain, which had view on the streets of Woodbury. I looked over his shoulder to see a few people walking on the street. Mostly men, as if they were guarding the place.

''I thought ya said there was a curfew.'' He said, Rick walked over to the window, also looking at the people who were wandering the streets.

''The street is packed during the day. Those are stragglers.'' Was the only thing Michonne could bring in.

''If anyone comes in here, we're sitting ducks.'' He said, still staring out onto the street. ''We gotta move.'' I silently agreed with him. Feeling anxious about the 'stragglers' that were still out. If one of them found us, this could turn really bad.

''He could be in his apartment.'' She suggested and Daryl and Rick both turned to look at her.

''Yeah?'' Daryl said sneeringly, ''What if he ain't?''

''Then we'll look somewhere else,'' I intervened, trying to keep it calm between everyone. The last thing we needed was a fall out.

Michonne turned towards me, her eyes glaring. ''You don't need to defend me.'' She snapped back at me. I ignored her words, crossing my arms over each other and staring at her.

''You said you could help us.'' Rick chimed in finishing our staring contest.

''I'm doing what I can,'' She said turning towards him.

''Then where the hell is he?'' Oscar objected. I flinched at the attitude towards Michonne. It was clear she didn't like me all that much, but they didn't need to be so harsh towards her.

''Hey,'' Rick said to us, not including Michonne, as he jerked his head towards the back.

When we were all gathered there, Rick started to talk.

''If this goes south, we're cutting her loose,'' He stated

''You think she's leading us into a trap?'' Oscar asked, though clearly that idea had already crossed his mind. The idea had crossed all of our minds. But so far she was the only thing we got.

''Right now, it's the blind leading the blind.'' Daryl voiced. ''Let's split up,''

I opened my mouth to object, but there was a sudden knocking at the door. We all quickly hid in the back, Rick behind a curtain, so that he could be the first one to attack.

The door opened with a creak.

''I know you're in there,'' A male voice spoke, ''I saw you movin' from outside,'' He walked right towards us, but so hesitantly, suggesting he didn't know where we were hiding out. A plank creaked near me and I held in my breath, waiting for him to pass.

''All right now, you're not supposed to be in here and you know it.'' From the way he talked, it seemed like he thought we were one of them. None of us said anything, we were all waiting for Rick to make a move.

''Who's in here?'' He asked, his voice growing louder and risking the oblivion from the civilians in Woodbury. At that moment Rick appeared behind the curtain and pushed him to the wall, a gun aimed at his head. The man didn't have time to say anything before Rick spoke again.

''Shut up, get on your knees.'' He said while pushing the man to the ground. Daryl was right behind the man, his crossbow pointed at the back of his head.

''Hands behind your back.'' He stated before looking at me, ''Zip tie him.'' I quickly did as Rick asked while he kept on talking to the man.

''Where is our man?''

''I don't know.'' He said, his voice clearly shaking.

''You are holding a man of ours. Where the hell is he?''

''I-I don't know.'' I saw Rick hesitating for a bit before saying, ''Open your mouth.'' as he shoved a cloth in his mouth.

''Wait!'' I said quickly taking the cloth out of his mouth.

''What'ya doin'?'' Daryl asked angrily, I ignored him and turned towards the man.

''Do you have any idea where he could be? Any place where you're not allowed to go?'' The man shook with fear as he thought about a possible answer. At first I thought he wasn't going to speak. but right as I wanted to put the cloth back he opened his mouth.

''T-There's a building behind Woodbury, It's close to where they keep the biters for the tournament.'' I frowned at his words, tournament? I turned around to face the rest, they all seemed as confused as me, except Michonne.

''I know what he's talking about, C'mon!'' She whispered and I saw Rick give a nod to Daryl, before Daryl knocked the man out with his crossbow.

It didn't take long for us to arrive there. There were several doors locked, Rick broke into the first one, Daryl into the second one and I took the third one while Oscar watched Michonne.

I guess you could say I was the lucky one, since when I opened the door I found a man standing there. His gun was aimed at Glenn who was tied to a chair, his hands were secured by duct tape and his face looked battered and bruised.

The man turned towards me and without thinking I shot the man in the head. I dropped to the ground and I rushed forward to Glenn.

''Jeez Glenn, what did they do to you?'' Glenn didn't have time to answer since Daryl and Rick came barging in. Their eyes landed on the dead man next to Glenn and me before rushing over to us.

''We heard the gunshot, that means the rest probably did too.'' Rick stated ''We gotta go!'' He turned towards Glenn. ''Can you walk?'' Glenn just nodded as we hauled him up to his feet. He grunted a bit and I slung his arm over my shoulders.

''You guys go and cover us, we'll follow.'' I said, they slowly nodded and we started to run, as fast as Glenn could run.

It seemed like they had waited us out, as soon as we left the building, people started to fire. Lucky for us, they were lazy shots and we hit more of them than they did of us. Still, they were with a lot more people than we were. Rick threw a smoke grenade, which took them by surprise and gave us some time to find an escape.

We ran into some kind of warehouse and Glenn immediately let himself fall to the ground, too exhausted to stand any longer.

''There ain't no way out back here.'' Daryl said, desperation in his voice.

''How bad are you hurt?'' Rick asked Glenn,

''I'll be fine.'' Was the only answer we got from him. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it, Daryl and Rick were walking around, trying to find a way out. It seemed as if those people from Woodbury didn't see us going in here, which was an advantage to us.

''Daryl,'' Glenn suddenly said, ''This was Merle.'' Daryl and Rick stopped with what they were doing and turned to Glenn. Shock was written over Daryl's face as he stepped closer.

Confusion was written all over my face. The group seemed to know this 'Merle' pretty well. Daryl especially. Was he part of the group?

''It was.'' He tried to convince Daryl, ''He did this.'' I looked over at them, trying to read their expression. Who the hell was Merle?

''You saw him?'' Rick asked,

''Face to face. He threw a walker at me.''

''S-So my brother's this Governor?'' Daryl said, still too stunned to really do anything. Brother? I never knew Daryl had a brother? Why wasn't he with Rick and the rest of the group?

''No, he's his lieutenant or something.''

''Does he know I'm still with you?'' Daryl asked, Glenn nodded.

''Yeah he does. Rick, he wanted to know where the prison is. I haven't told them but I don't think they'll stop until they know.'' Rick just nodded and walked over to the window.

''We gotta go,'' He said as Glenn already hauled himself up. ''We got a car a few miles out, you can handle that?'' Glenn nodded as his face scrunched up in pain.

They started to walk towards the door, but Daryl stopped him.

''Hey, if Merle's around I need to see him.'' He stated, stepping towards Rick. Daryl and I made eye contact briefly and the emotion in his eyes almost made me flinch. He really wanted to find his brother.

''Not now, we're in hostile territory.'' Rick objected, trying to end the discussion. My eyes stayed on Daryl's. The vulnerability in his eyes was almost painful. I imagine what I would do if I knew Teresa or Ian were in there. I'd definitely go and see my sibling.

''He's my brother. I ain't-'' He started but Rick cut him off.

''Look what he did!'' He said moving his head closer to Daryl's, ''Look we gotta- we gotta get out of here now.''

''Maybe I can talk to him, maybe I can work something out.'' He tried, but he already knew it wasn't going to happen. For the first time since I knew him, he genuinely looked sad.

''No, no, no, you're not thinking straight.'' I was just silently watching the whole discussion, just like the rest of the group. ''Look, no matter what Glenn says, he's hurt. He can barely walk.'' Rick paused, taking in a deep breath before continuing. ''If we get overrun by walkers and this Governor catches up to us, I need you. Are you with me?'' Daryl eyed Rick for a second before his eyes travelled over the rest of the group, before snapping over to Rick. After a few seconds he whispered.

''Yeah,''

Rick ruffled through one of his bags and grabbed to smoke grenades.

''On three.'' He said ''Stay tight. One, two, three.'' On three he threw the smoke grenades onto the street. Which got the attention of those soldiers, but fortunately they couldn't see us, or so I thought.

''There they are!'' I heard someone yell and they all started to shoot.

''Shit,'' I mumbled and raised my gun and started to shoot. I heard a few grunts and saw a few people go down, but whenever someone went down it seemed like two more appeared.

''Behind you!'' I heard Daryl yell as he tried to shoot the people behind me, I joined him as I tried to find a good place for cover.

''They're too many of them! We need to find cover!'' I yelled at Daryl and he nodded, he yelled something to the rest of the group and we all started to run towards a corner.

As soon as we were safe from the gunshots, Daryl started to hand out more guns.

''You guys go ahead, 'm gonna lay down some cover fire.'' He said and I felt my eyes widen.

''No, we gotta stay together.'' I objected, but Daryl just shook his head, avoiding my gaze.

''Too hairy, I'll be right behind you.'' I turned to the rest of the group, trying to see if somebody would support me, but they all knew something had to be done or we wouldn't make it out alive.

Before I had a chance to say anything else, Daryl grabbed a smoke grenade.

''Ready?'' He yelled, he didn't even wait for an answer as he threw the grenade to the ground. We heard those soldiers yell at something before we started to run.

''Move!'' We heard Rick say, instead of running with him I ran to the bench where Daryl was hiding for cover.

''C'mon ya gotta move!'' Daryl yelled at me.

''Only if we go together.'' Was the only thing I said before I started to join him. Daryl seemed to hesitate, but he eventually turned his full attention on the shooting.

I knew why Daryl stayed behind. There was this slight hope of seeing his brother again. I mean, who would leave their sibling behind, knowing they were alive? If this 'Merle' was still here, he probably knows that Daryl is here right now, since he is part of Glenn's group.

Suddenly the gunfire ceased, Daryl and I didn't know what to do. Should we run? Or maybe they hadn't seen us yet.

''Let's go.'' Daryl said and he started to get up, realising it was now or never. His brother was nowhere to be seen and our safety was more important. Daryl grabbed my arm, gently pulling me up. We got ready to start sprinting when a gun cocked behind my head. Not a second later the same happened to Daryl.

Both of us froze in our movements. Not daring to move.

''Now hold up,'' The chilling voice reached my ears. Goosebumps travelled all the way down my spine to my arms. The familiar voice was sickening, as it had a tone I hadn't heard from him before.

I knew this man, and I begged every person who was looking down on me, that it wasn't true. He was supposed to be dead. He should be dead. Because of he wasn't, surely I had met him sooner? He had every reason to.

I wanted to turn around, and I started doing so, but Daryl was struck over the head by the but of the gun. I took a step forward to rush over him, to make sure he didn't fall face first, but before I could a sharp pain exploded in the back of my head and I knew I was met with the same fate.


	16. Chapter 16

**Update: Kind of rewritten 30/9/2017**

* * *

 _It had been days._

 _None of us were speaking anymore, we didn't have the energy to. Most of the time was spent by sleeping, waiting for the dead ones to go away._

 _Elisa's body was still in the other room. There had been no time to bury her. As soon as the gunshot had gone off four days ago, walkers started to appear. They leaned against the glass door of the gas station, slamming their hands and arms lazily against it._

 _We needed to get out here, we needed to get to the Atlanta camp. Where there was refugee, where we could rest._

 _That was the thought that kept me going. We needed to get there. My family needed to be safe. So every once in awhile I walked back to the store, that had been robbed clean, and checked if these corpses were still there. Looking back on it, that was probably the reason why they hadn't left. If we had just waited in the storage room for a day they would have left. Since there was nothing to see._

 _I glanced over at Teresa, who was softly sleeping against my mother. Sarah was chatting with her, talking about what they'd do when they arrived at the camp. My dad was leaning against a box, his eyes fixated on the wall before him. He looked harsh, not at all like the dad I remembered. The image of him shooting Elisa, 'doing what he had to do'. I knew that my dad was changing. It was as if this protective side took over, he was putting the safety of everyone else first._

 _He needed a break. We all did._

 _We needed to get to that camp._

My head was pounding, as if someone was trying to get out. I felt myself leaning forward, my hair falling in front of my face. But it took me a moment to move my limbs again. Though the only parts of my body that I could move was my head and shoulders.

My arms were taped against the railing of the chair, my feet had the same fate. I slowly raised my head, trying not to groan at the aching feeling it gave me. My teeth gritted against each other in an attempt to stay silent.

I glanced down at my arms. Duct tape was circled around them multiple times, making it impossible for me to move. I tried nevertheless. I attempted to raise my arm, or wiggle out of the sticky tape, but to no avail.

Only then I noticed my surroundings. I was in a similar room as Glenn was in, except this table seemed to be round instead of square. Also this room was horizontally bigger than the one we found Glenn in.

The walls were made from wood and the ceiling seemed to be made from corrugated iron. My breathing started to pick up when I realised where I was. This wasn't the plan, this was absolutely not the plan.

Had Rick and the rest gotten away? I didn't see them when Daryl and I-. My thoughts stopped and immediately snapped over to Daryl. Was he okay? I had seen him go down, but there was no sign that he had been in this room. I couldn't hear anything except for the soft sound coming from the electricity in the lamp.

My heart jumped when the door opened and an all too familiar figure stepped in the room.

''Philip?''

The man in front of me just smiled,

''Aubrey,'' He said, his voice full enthusiasm, as if he was meeting an old friend. I shivered at the way he said my name. ''It's been a while, hasn't it?''

''Y-You're this Governor?'' I stammered, my brain couldn't fully process everything. He was the one that kidnapped Glenn, beat him to a pulp, held a gun to my head and knocked me and Daryl out?

''What can I say? Some nicknames you just can't get rid of.'' He stated as he sat down on the chair at the other end the table. He propped his feet up on the table, making himself comfortable.

''I-I-" I started, but when I heard my voice I took a deep breath, and started again. ''You can let me go now.'' I struggled against my bindings again, showing him I was still bound. ''And you can let Daryl go.''

He chuckled, ''Ah, that's his name.'' He clapped his hands together, ''Daryl. You know, he's _very_ fond of you.'' I froze at his words, not knowing what to say. Glenn's face flashed through my mind and I hoped Daryl hadn't gotten the same fate.

''I want to see him.'' I said, my voice hardening. I was trying my best not to show any emotion. This was definitely not the man I knew all those years. The man that invited me over for a barbecue, with his daughter and wife, or who asked me to babysit Peggy. I wondered where she was, but considering my current situation, I figured now wasn't the best time to speak up about it.

''Well I'm sorry to disappoint you.'' He said, he removed his feet from the table and stood up, ''He's a bit busy.'' Anger flared up and heated my face. I started struggling against the bindings again, trying to pull them off.

''You better not hurt him-'' I threatened,

''Or what?'' He glanced down at me and it was as if I suddenly realised the situation I was in. I was bound in a chair, I couldn't even throw a single punch. My weapons had been stripped off of me and the man in front of me, was in total control. My stomach turned at the thought of it. I let my eyes fall to the floor beneath me, showing him a sign of defeat. My teeth were clenched against each other, frustrated by the lack of control.

''That's what I thought.'' He said, I didn't look up. Avoiding eye-contact seemed better for now. I didn't want to see his face, the look of triumph in his eyes. Footsteps were heard, the sound of a door opening. Then the door closed again and when I looked up the Governor was gone.

Sarah's imagine flashed before my eyes. How was I going to tell him? If I told him he would definitely kill me, the slowest and most painful way possible. I wondered where Penny was, surely he wouldn't act like that in front of her? I remembered her adorable smile and brown hair, that no one was every allowed to touch. She'd always fuss over it, trying to get it as perfect as possible.

I would take care of Peggy, like she was my own sister. On a few occasions Teresa actually played with her. They didn't really get along, but I still gave them credits for trying. They would play with their dolls and after an hour or so, one or the other would come in crying, saying that the other had been mean. Mostly it was Teresa who was being mean. She was the older one, she wasn't as 'childish' as Peggy. She'd get bored quicker and wanted to help me with whatever I was doing.

I wondered how Daryl was doing. Was he in this building too? Were Rick and the rest on their way? They'd probably come looking for Daryl, but I wasn't sure if they would come back for me. I hadn't been with them very long. I'd like to think that I fit in with the group, but not as well as Daryl. He had definitely earned his place. While I was still questioning mine.

I didn't know how long I sat there, just thinking, when the door opened. The Governor appeared again, only this time his nose was bloodied and he looked grumpier than before.

''Why do I get to have the pleasure of your company, _Governor_?'' I asked annoyed, if he was going to keep me here, I might as well make it difficult.

''Let's talk.'' He grabbed the empty chair and made himself comfortable. The light tone in his voice dropped as he spoke out the following words.

''Where's my wife.'' It wasn't a question, it was a demand. My heart picked up its pace as I processed his words. I knew what he wanted to know, I just wouldn't tell him. My hands started to sweat and I unconsciously clenched and unclenched them in an attempt to let some air through. Instead of answering him I focused on a single strand of hair that had escaped from its original position on the Governor's head.

I refused to look him in the eye as I watched the hair move while he breathed in and out. I wasn't going to say anything, he didn't deserve that. So instead of doing what he wanted me to, I ignored his question and asked one of my own.

''Where's Daryl?'' I retorted back. I saw him purse his lips together with dissatisfaction.

''I don't think you're in the position to be asking questions.''

''I don't think I'm in the position to do anything.'' At those words he stood up, his chair was shoved backwards with so much force that it clattered on the ground. I flinched at the unexpected action, my bounds preventing me from moving a lot. I recovered quickly, sitting up straight and looking him straight in the eye. To show him I wasn't scared of the man.

He stalked over to me and without hesitation he punched me in the jaw. My head swung to the left from the force of his fist and a grunt escaped my lips. I shut my eyes, trying to refrain myself from making any sounds again. His hands placed themselves on my wrist, which were covered by a layer of duct tape, and he moved his face so it was only a few inches from mine. I tried to pull my head back, as far away from the man as possible. But the chair and my bounds were making it impossible. I could smell his breath as he opened his mouth to speak.

''Where.'' He spoke with a threatening tone. ''Is my wife.'' he said it so slow that with each word I tried to prepare myself for an unexpected swing, but he didn't do anything. I held my breath and just kept on glaring at him, refusing to speak. He waited there, inches from my face, his gaze never wavering and it made me anxious.

I yelped when he punched the wall behind me. My first instinct was to throw my arms over my head to protect myself, but since those were taped against the chair, I just shrank back against it.

''WHERE IS SHE!'' This time he didn't wait for an answer, he landed his second punch on my jaw. After that he just kept on hitting and hitting, not giving me a time to catch my breath. I could feel blood beginning to seep out of my nose and mouth. I tried to breathe in between the punches, with every punch the air was knocked out of me again. I could feel the blood dripping on my jeans and shirt. But at this point it didn't bother me anymore.

My vision was starting to get blurry and I didn't even bother to lift me head up.

''WHERE!'' another blow the face, ''IS'' another one to my jaw, ''SHE'' with one final punch he backed away, watching the result of my face.

He looked at his bloodied knuckles and smiled to himself. His stupid grin gave me goosebumps and I wish I could punch that stupid smirk of his face. I spit out some more blood and lifted my head to glare at him. If the Governor was even fazed by it, he didn't let it show. He just narrowed his eyes at the deviant look in mine.

''Are you ready to talk now?'' He said, moving his head closer to mine. This time I didn't flinch or try to pull away. I let my face show just how angry I was, hoping it would succeed in making him back off.

I quickly spit on his face, blood mixed with saliva landed right below his left eye and I saw his face harden, which made me smirk slightly.

''Go fuck yourself.'' I said calmly, he wiped his face off with the back of his hand and without a word walked out of the room.


	17. Chapter 17

**I really hate my writing in this chapter, so please be patient until I edit this.**

* * *

 _We were stuck. Again._

 _The car had run out of gas. We were stranded in the middle of nowhere. But it was okay, we could still make it. We hadn't heard anything over the radio anymore, we had tuned and tuned, but nothing. It made me anxious, scared something had happened._

 _I looked over at Teresa, the brush had worked. Her hair was pretty as ever and it curled around her head. She was holding my hand as we were walking. None of us were really used to it. We were exhausted, we had been walking for 2 hours now, waiting for any sign of living._

 _Why were the roads in America so long? We hadn't come across any house and we really needed to._

 _''Aubrey,'' Teresa whined, ''I'm tired.'' A couple tears appeared in her eyes, but she forced them away, not wanting to show me she was crying. I crouched down next to her, so that she was a bit higher than I was._

 _''We'll find something, I promise.'' I placed my hand on her cheek and caressed it with my thumb. ''Everything will work out.'' She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me. My throat closed at the amount of emotion that washed over me._

 _This was my little sister, exhausted. She wasn't supposed to live like this. Where were the tea parties? Her girly friends? She needed to have Birthday parties, pink rooms and barbie dolls. Not worry about when her next meal was going to be, or if she had a place to sleep tonight._

 _I lifted her up, placing her on my hip. Give it another year and I wouldn't have been able to carry her anymore, she was growing with an enormous pace and it was hard to keep up._

 _''Look!'' Sarah almost squealed, though she managed to keep her voice normal. She raised her hand and pointed at the object in the distance. It almost looked like-_

 _''A house.'' My dad spoke up. Teresa's head popped up from my shoulder and a smile appeared on her face. The old Teresa had returned, positive and bright._

 _It took us about 20 minutes to actually arrive at the house. It seemed like an old farm, though all the animals were missing. They weren't dead, it just seemed like they didn't exist. The farm was white, a porch at the front. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, there was no blood on the walls nor was there any sign of struggle._

 _My dad pulled out his gun, cocking it. I almost flinched at the sound it made as he pulled the hammer back. I took a deep breath before taking my own gun. I was wearing it on my belt at all times, but I had never used it. I didn't want to, but at times like this, I always took it out. Just in case._

 _Dad was the first to step inside, he slowly opened the door and when no sound was heard, he took a step further. I followed him inside, my heart pounding and my hands shaking. I don't think I could even aim with the amount of nerves that were coursing through my body, let alone pull the trigger._

 _The house creaked as we walked through it. It seemed that, whoever lived here, had left in a hurry, maybe going to family members. Cupboards were raided in a hurry and stuff was thrown on the floor. Which made me think that maybe it wasn't the owners who had done that._

 _After checking the whole house and finding nothing, we called the rest in. Teresa bounced inside, excited to sleep in a bed tonight. She wasn't the only one._

 _Sarah and my mother followed, a bit more wary. Sarah had turned into a second mother. She was quite a bit older than I was, but still younger than my mom. She always made sure I was okay and helped my mother cook food. She enjoyed braiding Teresa's hair and talk about the boys Teresa used to like at school. She refrained from speaking about her own daughter though. I hadn't heard her speak a word about her husband and daughter. It was like she had discarded them._

 _But at night I could hear her sobs, I knew my dad could too. We mostly exchanged looks, unsure of what we should do. We just let her grieve in peace, not wanting to disturb her._

 _I glanced at my dad. Seeing the dark circles under his eyes and his mouth that had turned into a constant frown. Yeah, Teresa wasn't the only one who needed to sleep tonight._

* * *

I'm not going to lie to you. Sleeping in a wooden chair while you're beaten up sucks. My back hurt from being in the same position for so long and I was sure my wrists and underarms were black and blue because of the struggles I put up.

And I haven't even seen my face yet. I was sure my nose was broken, I probably had some damage to my jaw too.

My head perked up when the Governor stepped in. He gave me a small smile, as a greeting. I responded with a glare in his direction, but he didn't seem to notice and if he did he just ignored it.

''Good morning, did you sleep well?'' He said with a sweet voice, still standing near the doorway.

''Fuck you.'' I said, ignoring the ache in my jaw and the rawness of my voice. The Governor grabbed his chair and positioned it so it was right in front of me.

''Let's start easy.'' He said, leaning his forarms on his legs. He quietly observed me, it made me feel uneasy, like he was trying to find my weaknesses and preparing to attack. ''Where is Sarah?'' He said slowly, his voice dangerously low.

I kept my face straight, not showing any sign of emotion while he waited for an answer. I refused to give him the pleasure of an answer. I stared him dead in the eye, challenging him to hit me.

''Fine,'' he said and let out a chuckle. He stood up from his chair and walked out of the door, leaving me alone.

To say I was surprised was an understatement. I wanted to yell at him, asking him if this was all that he got. Surely he wasn't just going to let me go like that? I narrowed my eyes at the door, not trusting him that he'll give up.

I sat there, anxiously waiting in the chair. But when he didn't come back after a few minutes I sighed of relief. He probably wasn't coming back.

And I was right, after another 5 minutes the door opened, but it wasn't the Governor who stood there. It was Martinez.

''Hello.'' He said, his baseball bat by his side. He acted casual, as if he was visiting a family member.

''Hello..'' I said unsure, my eyes kept going to the bat in his hands, hoping he wasn't going to use it. He saw me watching his bat and grinned.

''Isn't she lovely?'' He said raising it a little bit and I couldn't help but shrink a little when he did.

''She?''

''Yeah, this is Charlotte.'' I shivered at the way he touched and talked about the bat, or, Charlotte. He wrapped his other hand around the top and slowly lifted the bat, and slapping it on his hand again. He did this a few times, without a doubt trying to intimidate me. It was working, but I wasn't going to let him see that.

''Look,'' Martinez started, ''I don't know what the Governer wants with you, but he's getting pissed off.'' He stopped walking toward me, he was about two large steps away from me. He could just hit me with _Charlotte_ and it'd surprise the shit out of me.

''If he's pissed off, that's an obstruction for us all.'' I wasn't skeptical about the fact that he could, and would if necessary, beat me up, but at this moment he seemed as if he didn't want to. He didn't seem like an evil man, he didn't seem like someone who enjoyed hurting others.

''Seems like he can't handle a girl,'' I smirked at him and that comment earned me a chuckle and half a smile.

''He can't handle it if things don't go the wait he wants them to.'' He corrected me, staring at the floor in thought. ''And lately, it seems like things just haven't.''

I didn't doubt that. He beat Glenn close to death and he still didn't know the location of their group. He didn't know where his wife was, which was my fault, and even now, when he had the upper hand, he still didn't get the answers he wanted.

Poor _fucking_ guy.

I didn't say anything, I didn't really know what to say.

''You know, it seems like you guys already knew each other from before.'' I pursed my lips, trying to get rid of the memories, the way _Philip_ was. This wasn't Philip, this was the Governor.

Martinez looked at me, probably expecting an answer, but when he didn't get one he sighed. Instead of holding his bat with two hands he let his hands fall down, his left hand still clasped the bat.

''Fine.'' He spat. He grabbed a knife from his pocket and I froze. I tried to squirm back but sighed of relief when I saw he only cut my bindings. At first, I thought he was going to let me go, but he grabbed me by my collar and threw me on the ground.

He swung his bat right in my stomach. I gasped for air and tried to wrap my arms around myself, but the bat already made contact with my body again. I coughed and gasped while he continued. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think about something else, but that was hard when you had to remind yourself to breathe.

Martinez finally stopped when the door opened.

''Jeez, Martinez. Calm yourself down, you're going to kill her!'' I heard Martinez scoff as he stepped back. My eyes were still tightly shut, trying to ignore the pain in my body.

''What are you doing here?'' Martinez asked, ignoring the previous comments from the man. I slowly opened my eyes, I couldn't see a lot because of the tears blurring my vision. There was a man standing in the doorway, wearing white clothes. I could see Martinez' boots and a part of his pants, but I was too tired to look up.

''I'm here to clean up the girl.'' His eyes darted towards me and back to Martinez, taking in the damage he'd done.

The man and Martinez exchanged a few words with each other before Martinez walked away. The man helped me in the chair again, I let him, because I was just too tired to do anything. I also needed the medical attention.

''Hello,'' The man said with an awkward wave, now he was in front of me, I could see him better. His grey hair was pulled backwards into a small ponytail and he had glasses on his face. Wrinkles covered his forehead and around his eyes as he examined my face. ''I'm Dr. Stevens''

I nodded stiffly at him, not really in the mood for small talk. When he touched my face I flinched away and let out a hiss.

''I'm sorry!'' He quickly apologized, ''Sadly, I'm not allowed to give you painkillers. Governor's orders.'' I grimaced at his words. Of course, the Governor would say that. What a sweetheart. Dr. Stevens cleaned me up the best he could, he poured something on my wound to stop it from infection and gave me a few band-aids, not the amount that I needed, because that would be too generous for the Governor, but enough for now.

When he stood up to leave I stopped him, realising he could be my information source.

''Wait!'' I said, struggling against the bindings he had put on. He turned around and waited for me to continue. ''Did you have to help anyone else? A guy named Daryl maybe?'' There were a few moments of silence, I could barely hear anything above the pounding coming from my heart, but then Dr. Stevens slowly shook his head.

''No, I'm sorry.'' He said and I felt my throat tighten. ''As far as I know you're the only one in this building.'' This time, I didn't try to hide my emotion. As Dr. Stevens walked out of the room, I started to sob.

I'd probably never see Daryl again, or my mom, or Carl, anyone from the group. Not if it was up to the Governor. They'd probably keep me here, beaten up until I couldn't take it anymore. My mom's face appeared in my mind. I imagined how she would react when she realised I wouldn't come home anymore, when I'll never see her again. At this point my throat hurt because of the crying and the beatings I had taken, my face was strained with tears and my head hurt.

I didn't even notice it when someone walked in on me. I only did when I felt a sharp sting on my cheek. I looked up to see the Governor, his hand was still raised from the slap he had given me.

''I'm done with these games.'' He said his face stern.

''Right back at ya.'' I said, trying to gesture to myself, which was hard when your hands were bound against a chair.

His jaw clenched and I could see he was trying to stop himself from hitting me.

''Is Daryl alive.'' My voice almost sounded emotionless when I spoke, it didn't sound like at all.

The Governor sighed and crouched down so we were face to face.

'''What's with the Daryl stuff? You seem to care about him a lot don't you?'' He said rolling his eyes.

''Is he?''

The Governor didn't say anything, which gave me a bit of hope, if he was killed he probably would have told me, considering he wanted to break me.

''Did you even try?'' I suddenly spoke up. ''Did you even try to find Sarah?'' I saw his face twitch a bit and I knew I had touched a soft spot. He stood up straight again, but didn't walk away.

''We tried everything! We looked _everywhere_ for you! Where were _you_ when she needed you! I was there all the time, we supported each other. While you already forgot about her, she cried herself to sleep _every night_!'' At those words he slapped me again, but I didn't even care anymore, it's not like that one punch or one kick would really make a difference.

''You don't know anything!' He grumbled. I did the only thing I could think of, I raised my leg and kicked the Governor in his private parts. He doubled over in pain and I kicked again, this time hitting his face. He fell backwards, out of my reach and I couldn't do anything else anymore, sadly. He grunted in pain as he lay with his back on the floor.

''You-You're gonna pay for that.'' He said breathing heavily. I just glared back at him, not responding. When he recovered he stood up again, leaning against the wall with one hand. I expected him to grab his knife and kill me, but he just walked away again. Which wasn't good, since last time he walked away, Martinez had payed me a visit.

This time it didn't take long before he came back again. He walked over to me and quickly undid my binding before he sat on the chair across the table. We were now facing each other, a few meter in between us. Which was nice for a change.

''Let's try a different approach.'' He said. He seemed calm, a little bit too calm for someone who has just been kicked in the balls.

''Stand up.'' He said and I shook my head, refusing to do anything for him. The calmness in his face disappeared and was replaced with hard features.

''Stand up.'' His voice was dangerously low and I shivered, trying to determine if I should listen to his words or be stubborn and do nothing. When I looked into his eyes again, I stood up. Not wanting to mess with him, he seemed unstable, as if he could lash out any second.

''Take off your shirt.'' I froze at those words and clenched my fists together. My heartbeat quickened and I shook my head.

''No.'' I said, trying to sound confident, but you could hear the fear in my voice.

''Take of your shirt.'' He said as he looked over my body, goosebumps arrived and I suddenly felt very nauseous. ''Now.''

''No.'' I said again, trembling.

''Take off your shirt, or do I have to bring Daryl in and-.''

''No,'' I said, my voice breaking and revealing how weak I actually felt. To maintain a

I took off my shirt and threw it on the ground, glaring at the table in front of me, avoiding the Governor's eyes. I was furious, furious that he'd even think about doing something like this. Still, I couldn't help the fear that spread through my body, that made my heart beat faster and faster.

''And the bra.'' At those words my blood ran cold and I shut my eyes, trying not to show any sign of emotion.

''Now, Aubrey.'' He said and I felt the bile rise to my throat when he pronounced my name. This time I was a bit more hesitant, but when I thought of Daryl I forced myself to undo my bra and let it fall to the ground. I quickly tried to cover myself up, avoiding his gaze.

I shut my eyes and tried to think of something else. What if I hadn't come to Woodbury? Would everyone be at the prison? Alive and well? I flinched when the Governor shoved his chair back. Still, I refused to open my eyes, even when I heard him coming towards me. My body started to shake, it was like I couldn't control it anymore.

I yelped when I felt him push my hair back. I shut my eyes tighter, trying to think about other things. I wondered where Rick was right now, and my mom. I thought about Olivia, where she could be, hoping she was alive, but somewhere in my mind I knew she was dead, there were so little people that had survived and Olivia was never even able to hurt a fly.

I could feel his hot breath on my skin, he was slowly coming closer.

 _'_ My eyes shot open when his lips touched my neck. I couldn't concentrate on anything anymore. My heart pounded in my chest and I tried to force down sobs. I stared at the wall in front of me, where the Governor stood a few second ago, but was now behind me. Tears streamed down my face but I willed myself not to make a sound.

I sighed when I felt him move away. Without a warning, he pushed me down on the table, a small yelp escaped my lips as I felt my body being pressed against the hard table.

''Now.'' He said, ''Where is she?'' A shaky breath left my lungs, but I pressed my lips together, refusing to give him the satisfaction of saying anything. I wouldn't let him break me.

''F-Fuck you.'' I stuttered at him and in a fit of rage the Governor lifted my head up and slammed it down onto the edge of the table, instantly knocking me out.

I awoke at the sound of mumbling voices outside my door. At first, I didn't understand why I was on the ground, but then everything came back to me. I shivered when I saw my shirt and bra lying on the floor. I scrambled over towards them and with shaking hands but them on.

Voices and gunshots could be heard from a distance and I looked around the room, searching for any kind of weapon. I saw my chair and grabbed it, before slamming it on the ground. After a few more tries the chair broke, like I wanted to, and I grabbed a chair leg. I could use the pointy part as a weapon.

The voices outside were growing louder and I held my breath when they suddenly stopped, like they were right outside my door.

I gripped the chair leg a little bit tighter and started to charge when the door opened. However, when I saw who it was I quickly stopped, stumbling a bit.

''R-Rick?'' I stuttered, tears filling my eyes and without a second of hesitation I wrapped my arms around him and started to sob.

''Aubrey? Are you okay?'' I quickly pulled back, realizing how pathetic I must have looked. I started to nod, but after a second of hesitation, I shook my head.

''I-I just want to get out of here.'' I said, flinching at how miserable I sounded. Rick nodded slowly observing me. I probably looked horrible, bruises on my face and probably every other inch of my body, tears streaming down my face and shaking like a leaf.

''Let's go.'' He mumbled and handed me a gun.

* * *

 **So for some people out there, this might seem a bit recognisable. I stole it a bit from the story _Loginquitas_ by _jemlou_ , so credit goes to her. It is the best story I have read so far and I have re-read it twice already. So go check that out.**


	18. Chapter 18

_'Who are you?'' I yelled at the two men in front of me, ''Why are you following us?''_

 _Their hands were bound with duct tape and there were positioned on their knees, the fear in their eyes was evident. But I just narrowed my eyes at them, not budging._

 _''W-We were just looking for some food and we thought, maybe you had something to spare.'' One of them stumbled. His voice was higher then I expected, suggesting he was younger than he actually looked._

 _''No, we don't.'' I said, and at that moment my dad decided to raise his gun. Alarm bells started to ring inside my head when he chocked it. We didn't need to cross that line, not unless absolutely necessary._

 _''Wait!'' I said, putting my hand on top of his gun and lowering it, ''We don't need to kill them. They seem harmless enough.'' My dad sighed rubbing his eyes, obviously not agreeing with me._

 _''Aubrey-''_

 _''Please,'' I begged him, trying to avoid looking at the other guys. ''If there were more people around they would have found us and killed us already.'' I argued, giving my dad a look._

 _''Fine.'' My dad sighed again and he lowered his gun some more, but not putting it in his holster. Which was fine by me, in case they tried anything._

 _I crouched down behind them and cut the tape around their hands. Releasing them._

When we walked out of the building, ear-deafening screams surrounded me and gunshots filled my ears, the whole street was covered in smoke, again. I took in a deep breath when I felt the cool air touch my skin. I was still leaning on Rick, which wasn't really convenient. He kept trying to shoot with one hand, but I could see it wasn't really doing it. I tried to support myself again, giving Rick a chance to defend himself and me. I stumbled a bit and I was slow, but it worked. It was definitely better than having to depend on Rick.

''Wh-Where's Daryl!'' I tried to shout over the gunfire. Wincing when I thought about what he saw a few hours ago. I wish I could just wipe the memory from my brain and Daryl's, I wished it never happened.

''He's with Axel!'' He yelled back at me.

At that moment Maggie came barging through the smoke.

''Aubrey!'' Maggie said and engulfed me in a hug and I tried to not grunt in pain at her touch.

Glenn turned to Rick, ''We need to get out of here! Also, we can't find Michonne!'' He said, still firing at random people.

''We need to find cover first.'' Rick yelled and with a hand gesture he made us follow him into one of the buildings, me wobbling behind. I probably looked like a penguin or something, an ugly penguin. Glenn and Maggie both offered to help me but I quickly turned them down, not wanting to slow everyone down.

We were all headed towards a building when I caught sight of a familiar figure. She was sneaking her way towards a house, taking advantage of the smoke around her.. I contemplated her for a few seconds before quickly going after her.

Michonne didn't seem like someone who made rash decisions, she was planning something. Before she noticed or before Rick and the rest noticed I followed her into the building.

When I stepped inside it was quiet, dead quiet. It didn't seem like anyone was here but when I heard rumbling upstairs I knew Michonne's current location. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but that was hard when you weren't as fit as before. At every creak I stopped, listening if anyone had noticed my presence. Nobody did.

When I reached the first floor I could hear muffled screams and angry grunts.I opened the second door on the left and was met with Michonne and the Governor. Michonne looked like she had taken some injuries, but the Governor definitely looked worse. The sight of him made me nauseous.

One arm was chopped off and there were gashes on his belly and arm, but one thing made me gag. He was missing an eye.

''Michonne?'' I asked and she stopped with whatever she was doing. When she stepped back I noticed a hole in his shoulder, which didn't seem to be made with a blade. My eyes travelled over the floor, looking for the weapon she used and to my horror I found a drill.

''W-What are you doing?'' I said my hands in front of my mouth. The Governor grunted in pain and it seemed like he barely noticed my presence.

''What he deserves.'' She said clenching her hands into fists. ''He killed Andrea,'' She said, I had no idea who that was but she must have been really important to her, considering the consequences for the Governor. ''Look what he did to Glenn, to you!'' She said pointing at me. I shivered when I thought back.

''Still, this isn't going to help anyone.'' I said, doubting myself. To be honest, I knew the Governor deserved this, maybe not to this level, but he deserved to feel pain, to be tortured. But I also knew that we needed to get out of here and Michonne paying a visit to the Governor wasn't helping the shitty situation we were already in.

''We _need_ to leave.'' I urged and she glanced at the Governor before her gaze turned back to me. She sighed once and when she looked back at him again her eyes reflected guilt, like she wished she hadn't done this.

Right when I planned to pull her with me, my eyes found a small body on the floor.

''Oh my god.'' I whispered and walked over to the small body, the closer I got the more familiar it became. Her brown hair was tangled and she was covered in a pool of blood.

''Penny,'' I said and I kneeled down next to her body.

''He had her locked up,'' Michonne said, stepping forward, ''She was already a walker, he couldn't let her go.'' Her skin was rotten and her favourite dress was covered in blood. I shut my eyes to stop the tears from flowing, we didn't have the time for mourning. I brushed her hair out of her face and closed her eyes, before standing up and turning to Michonne.

''Let's go,'' I said my voice barely hearable. At that moment the door from the Governor's apartment opened. Dr. Stevens walked in and when he saw the Governor lying on the ground he gasped.

''Dr. Stevens!'' I let go of Michonne and walked over towards him. ''Please, don't call for help.'' I begged him as Michonne and I slowly shuffled towards the door.

''I-'' He started and when he glanced at the Governor again his eyes narrowed. ''Take me with you.'' He said, turning to me.

''Wha-?''

''Take me with you.'' He interrupted me. His eyes seemed sincere and I believed that he truly wanted to leave this place. I looked over to Michonne who was questioning herself if she should kill him or let him come with us.

''Fine.'' I spat, ''Do you have any weapons?'' I asked him and he pulled a gun out of his pocket.

''Only this.'' I grabbed the gun out of his hand, before he could do anything with it.

''Good, now come with us.'' I said, cocking the gun. Ready to shoot. Dr. Stevens gulped, his eyes trained on his gun now in my hands, but he nodded anyways. We quickly left the building, walking in the front, my gun aimed at his back. I glanced over at Michonne and motioned for her to watch out for any of our own.

''How do we escape?'' I asked Dr. Stevens and he pointed towards the wall. ''There's a small hole in that wall. If we can reach it we can expand the gap and get through.'' I nodded, although he couldn't see me, and agreed with the plan. When I looked over to Michonne she gave me a nod, confirming she was with me on this one.

As we walked I couldn't help but notice my vision seemed to get a bit more blurry, also there was a headache forming, but I shook it off and decided to focus on the task before us, getting the hell out of here.

We reached the wall without any problems, which was weird considering the smoke had almost cleared. The gunfire had also reduced. I felt like we were plain in sight, and I looked back constantly to check if no one was following us or aiming at us.

Dr. Stevens was the first to go and he swiftly motioned for us to follow. Michonne went first and then I did. Before I went I quickly turned around, checking for anyone of our group. The streets were almost clear, there were a few residents of Woodbury walking around in confusion, probably looking for our people.

Now it was Michonne's time to lead us to the group, since she was also the one who led them here. She led us towards the old train where we were in the beginning. Michonne was the first and when she walked out of the shadows we heard the cocking of several guns, but I saw that they were lowered when they realised it was Michonne. I quickly appeared behind her and smiled when I saw that everyone was there, with a new person. I guess this was Daryl's brother Merle.

Suddenly everyone's gun's were raised again and I quickly turned around, seeing Dr. Stevens appearing.

''Wow wait!'' I yelled throwing my hands up trying to keep them away. ''He patched me up and helped us escape!'' I said and Michonne nodded.

''He did.'' She said and I silently thanked her. The guns lowered slightly except for Ricks who stared down at the doctor.

''C'mon we gotta go!'' Merle interrupted Rick's stare as he started to walk away, not waiting for us. I raised an eyebrow at him and then turned towards Daryl, who strangely avoided my gaze. R

''Glenn's waiting for us with the car.'' Rick said, directed towards me at those words he went after Merle. I quickly followed them, not looking back at Woodbury.

''Glenn!'' Rick shouted, but still trying not to be too loud. ''Glenn!''

''Rick!'' We heard him say, ''Rick!''

''Now, we got a problem here.'' Rick quickly said, warning Glenn. ''I need you to back up.'' I didn't know what had happened, but as soon as Glenn saw Merle he flipped.

''What the hell is he doing here!'' Glenn yelled as he raised his gun at Merle. Maggie quickly rushed forward and attempted to stop him, just like Rick.

''If it wasn't for him-'' Glenn started but Daryl interrupted him

''He helped us get out of there!'' He retorted.

''Yeah right after he beat the shit out of you!'' Rick threw at him and I turned towards Merle with a surprised expression. Why the hell would you beat your own brother?

''Did he do that to you?'' I asked Daryl and pointed at the bruises on his face. Daryl glanced at me, but didn't answer my question, which said enough for me.

''Hey, we both took our licks man.'' Merle said

''Enough!'' Rick yelled at Merle and at that moment Glenn stepped forward towards Merle and we all tried to calm him down.

''Man get that thing outta my face!'' Daryl yelled at Glenn, getting pissed off. Merle started to laugh,

''Man look like you've gotten native brother.'' He grinned, leaning against the tree. I didn't know what I expected of Merle, but this sure wasn't it. He was a straight up asshole.

''No more than you hanging out with that psycho back there!'' Daryl yelled while gestured with his hands.

''Oh yeah man, he is a charmer. I gotta tell you that.'' He said as he pushed himself off the tree. ''Been putting the wood to your girlfriend Andrea. Big time baby.'' He said to Michonne as he made a ridiculous face.

'' What? Andrea's in Woodbury?'' Glenn asked surprised and I decided to speak up.

''Who the hell is Andrea?''

''She was with us and we lost her when we fled of the farm.'' Maggie said.

''But now she's in Woodbury?'' I questioned.

''Right next to the Governor.'' Daryl said and I shivered when I heard his name.

''Hey, do you know Andrea?'' Rick asked Michonne, who just glared at him.

''Yep, she does. Her and blondie spent all winter cuddling up in the forest.'' He said as he hummed, ''My Nubian queen here had two pet walkers. No arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains.'' I frowned when I heard that and I saw Rick staring at Michonne, probably trying to figure her out.

''Shut up bro!'' Daryl turned towards Merle.

''Hey, man, we snagged them out of the woods. Andrea was close to dying.'' Merle continued, ignoring his brother. At this point my legs started to ache and I had a bit of trouble breathing so I'd leaned myself against a tree, trying to ignore the pain.

''Is that why she's with him?'' Maggie asked Michonne, but like before, Michonne didn't say anything. Merle did the talking.

''Yeah, snug as to little bugs.'' He grinned, ''So, whatcha gonna do now Sherrif? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs and cowards.'' Merle said and I noticed Rick clenching his fists.

''Shut up!'' He said turning to Merle real quick

''Ah man look at this, pathetic. All these guns and no bullets in them.''

''Merle shut up!''

''Shut up yourself a bunch of pussies you roll-'' Merle was cut off by Rick who slammed the back of his gun against his head and he fell on the ground.

''Asshole.'' Rick mumbled at him and we all walked back to the cars.

''It won't work.'' Rick mumbled towards Daryl.

''It's gotta.'' He objected.

''It'll stir things up.''

''Look the Governor's probably on his way to the prison right now. Merle knows how he thinks and we could use the muscle.'' Daryl said and I crossed my arms.

I didn't really know what to think of Merle. I definitely didn't trust him, he seemed unreliable. I bet if thinks got bad he'd make a run for it, I even doubted if he would safe Daryl.

''I'm not having him at the prison.'' Maggie said.

''Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol or Beth?'' Glenn said,

''He ain't a rapist.'' Daryl said, sounding a little bit hurt.

''Well his buddy is.'' Rick said and I couldn't help but flinch. Daryl's eyes flickered to me for a second before he spoke. How did Rick knew that?

''They ain't buddies no more.''

''There's no way Merle's gonna live there without putting everyone at each other's throats.''

''We should give him a chance.'' I spoke up, ''We could separate him from the rest. Let him prove himself.'' I suggested, but I knew that on the look of everyone's faces they didn't agree with me.

Daryl seemed to notice this too, ''So you're gonna cut Merle loose and bring the last samurai home with us?'' '

''She's not coming with us.'' Rick objected.

''She's in no state to be on her own.'' Maggie asked, her eyes filled with pity for the woman.

''She did bring you guys to us.'' Glenn said.

''And then ditched us-''

''But she's back.'' I interrupted Rick.

''Only 'cause you went with her.'' Daryl said, ''Which is another thing-'' He walked towards me but was cut off by Rick.

''You really wanna do this now?'' Rick said as he put a hand on Daryl's chest to hold him back. ''We don't know who she is.'' Rick said, referring to Michonne again.

''But Merle, Merle's blood.''

''No Merle is your blood.'' Glenn said to Daryl. ''My family is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison.''

''And you're part of that family.'' Rick chimed in, ''but he's not.''

''Man, Y'all don't know.'' He said, taking a slight step back. I heard groans coming from the forest and I turned my head to see Merle leaning against a tree.

There was a silence before Daryl said,

''Fine,'' I sighed of relief but that relief was taken away quickly when Daryl spoke up again, ''We'll fend for ourselves.''

''Wait, Daryl!'' I took a step forwards.

''That's not what I was saying.'' Glenn said.

''No him, no me.'' He said and I clenched my fists. He's got to be kidding me, we went through all of that trouble, just so he could leave.

''It was always Merle and me before this.''

''Seriously, you're just gonna leave like that?'' Glenn asked him, his tone full of disbelief.

''You'd do the same thing if you were me.'' And with those words he walked away. Rick and Glenn went after him but eventually Glenn stopped and Rick and Daryl talked a bit. I just stood frozen, not knowing what to do.

He seriously was going to leave? Just like that? Like it was nothing? When Daryl grabbed his things out of the trunk of the car it was like I realised something and I quickly walked over to him.

He was already halfway into the woods when I called out for him.

''Daryl!'' Daryl froze and turned my way.

''You're just going to leave like that?'' I said as my voice cracked, ''But-But what about-?'' I wanted to say, what about me? But I didn't feel like we were both ready for that conversation yet, so instead I turned it around.

''What about the Governor.'' I said, trying not to flinch at the words. I saw his face harden for a few moments and he looked at me, his eyes flickering to my neck for a second. Without a thought I reached out to touch it and flinched when I touched the sensitive skin. That bastard had left a bruise.

''No him no me.'' He said a little hesitantly.

''Then let me come with you.'' I said, taking a step forwards, but Daryl just shook his head.

''You got your mom to look out for. Just be safe.'' He said and I knew he was right, I looked forward to being reunited with my mom.

There was an awkward silence between us, like we both didn't really know what to do so I leaned forward and softly kissed his cheek. I didn't linger, since I knew Daryl wasn't really affectionate to begin with and especially not in front of his brother, or anybody for that matter.

''You be safe too.'' I said and turned around, as I walked away I heard Daryl say something to his brother.

We quickly packed up and left for the Prison, we were going home.


	19. Chapter 19

''Aubrey,'' I heard someone say, but I ignored it. I didn't want to wake up, I mean didn't I deserve a _little_ bit sleep?

''Aubrey, c'mon.'' I groaned and decided to open my eyes. Maggie was almost leaning over to me and I quickly jumped back at the close contact, hitting my head against the roof of the car in the process.

''Ouch.'' I mumbled to myself as I rubbed the back of my head. ''What is it?'' I asked her.

''Where here.'' She said and I quickly looked out of the window, we had arrived at the prison. I eagerly jumped out of the car, wanting to see my mom.

The rest had already stepped out of the car and I saw Carl and Carol standing outside talking to Rick. Carl was the first to notice me and quickly ran towards me giving me a hug.

''You're alive!'' He said and I let out a chuckle.

''You ever doubted me?'' I said acting as if I was hurt by that statement. I gave Carol a quick hug too and she asked me if I was okay. Even though I was far from it, I told her I was fine. At that moment, Dr. Stevens walked out and I quickly introduced them.

''Aubrey!'' I heard a familiar voice yell and I swiftly turned around. When I saw who it was I let out a shaky breath.

My mom was running towards me at fast speed and I joined her, when we reached each other she quickly wrapped her arms around me, not letting go.

''Mom.'' I choked out and buried my face in the crook of her neck.

My mom stammered out a few inaudible words as her eyes filled with tears.

''I thought I'd never see you again.'' She blubbered and I let out an almost-crying-laugh. ''What happened to you?'' She said, softly touching my cheek and I grimaced when I felt her hand touch it.

''Nothing,'' I shook it off, ''I'm fine now.'' I said as I wrapped my arms around her again.I was so glad she was okay, who knows what could have happened while I was gone, and I wouldn't have been there to protect her.

Hershel also walked out and he seemed to check me over, looking for any injuries, just like my mom did, before giving my shoulder a tight squeeze. I smiled up at him, he was doing good with just one leg. He seemed to be walking with crutches just fine.

My smile faded when I realized someone else should have been here too. Somewhere I wished I had gone with him, even though Merle had been there. We could have been fine, but when I looked at my mom I knew I couldn't leave her alone. She wouldn't have understood and as harsh as it may sound, she wouldn't have made it without someone to protect her. I knew the group would try to protect her as good as they could, but I still felt like it was my job. It was.

Then everything seemed to turn serious again when Hershel told us that some people had come into the prison. Apparently they were running from some walkers and that's when they saw an opening in the prison. They got lost in the tombs and Carl found them.

Rick nodded, saying he would handle it and we all gathered inside.

''Hey mom, where's Lori and little asskicker?'' I said as I turned my head towards her. She smiled, ''I'll show you.'' We quickly walked towards Lori and Rick's cell. In the hall, where all the cells are, you could see a playpen pushed against the corner. I smiled thinking about lil' asskicker.

My mom was the first to go into the cell and I quickly followed. My smile grew bigger when I saw Lori lying in her bed, lil asskicker curled up against her. Lori looked up from her little girl and smiled when she saw me.

''You're back.'' She said and patted the empty space on her bed. My mom said she needed to help Carol with something and left us alone. I took place on her bed and asked her how she felt.

''I've been better.'' She mumbled, ''But I'm glad I'm still here.'' I nodded and looked down. I softly touched the fabric of my jeans, trying not to grimace at the amount of blood on it. I'll have to clean up real soon.

''So, have you already decided a name yet?'' I asked her and she nodded.

''I was thinking about the name Judith, what do you think?'' I grinned at her, ''I think that's a great name.'' After that there was an awkward silence between us, both now knowing what to say. I knew Lori wanted to know what happened in Woodbury, how we came back, what was going to happen now. And after a few minutes, she did.

''Do you want to talk about it?'' She asked as she put Judith in her crib, which consisted of a carton box with blankets in it, and sat upright. I shook my head.

''Not really, I just want to forget about it.'' I said softly, rubbing my arms absentmindedly. Images of yesterday flashed through my mind, the Governor standing behind me, planting his sickening kisses over my neck. Just the thought of it made me nauseous.

''If you ever want to talk, I'm here.'' She said as she gave my shoulder a small squeeze. I tried not to shrug it off, not wanting to be touched right not. It seemed like she noticed my uncomfortableness, because she quickly removed her hand.

''I know,'' I said as I turned my head towards her, ''Thanks.'' I gave her a small smile. At that moment Hershel came in to check on Lori and I saw that as my cue to leave.

I walked in the common room, finding the two new people there. Their heads shot up when they saw me walking in. I smiled and took a seat next to them.

''Hey,'' I said, ''How are you guys doing?'' They were both dark-skinned, one woman and one man. They both seemed kind, but tired.

''We're doing fine, thank you.'' The woman said, ''I'm Sasha and this is my brother Tyreese.'' She introduced and I nodded, repeating their names in my head.

''I'm Aubrey, nice to meet you.''

''What happened to you?'' Sasha said and Tyreese scolded her for being rude, but I saw the curiosity in his eyes. I understood, I probably would want to know too.

''Ehm, I got captured, they tried to find out where the prison was.'' I lied, well I didn't really lie. I left out some information. Although I knew I should tell Rick, or someone, soon what happened. Now didn't feel like the right time. Rick seemed to be under a lot of pressure, almost losing his wife, having a newborn baby and a teenager in this world didn't seem easy.

''Are you alright?'' Tyreese asked and I nodded, ''Yeah of course, I'm fine. So how did you get here?'' I quickly changed topic. Tyreese and Sasha told me their story, about how they were with a woman named Donna and how she was bit. They tried to hide in the prison for walkers, but the walkers followed and Carl saved them. Apparently, Donna was taken care off.

We talked a bit more about our lives before the apocalypse. Apparently Tyreese was a player in NFL Atlanta Falcons team, but he got himself injured and quit. Eventually, he went to be a car-sales man, I laughed at that. Tyreese was a big man and seeing him in a suit and selling cars just didn't really seem logical to me. Sasha told me she used to be a firefighter and they both lived in Jacksonville before everything went to hell.

Somewhere in between the stories, Rick walked in, listening along with the stories. He still had to make a decision, if he'd let them stay or not. I hoped he did, they deserved a nice place to stay.

''Aubrey,'' Rick said when Sasha was done with a story. I looked up and knew what was going to come. ''Can we talk?'' He wanted to talk about what happened in Woodbury, what happened with him.

I nodded and quickly told Sasha and Tyreese I'd talk to them later, before following Rick to my cell. Since Lori was in their cell, it wasn't really an option. We sat down next to each other on my bed and I waited for him to speak, or ask me something.

''Daryl told me something before he left.'' He started and my eyes widened as I looked up at him. ''He told me that the Governor wanted something from you. When he was in the room next to you he overheard the Governor asking you for someone.'' I swallowed the lump in my throat. Daryl was in the room next to me? That explained how Rick new about what happened. I felt my blood run cold when I realised Daryl must have heard everything, and I mean _everything_.

''What was he talking about?'' I nervously twiddled my fingers around, not knowing how to start.

''The 'She' he was talking about, was his wife.'' I took a deep breath in and out before continuing. ''The Governor and I were- Neighbours.'' It sounded weird to say that word, it was a word that no longer existed anymore. ''He and his daughter were on a trip when the apocalypse started and his wife was still at home. So I took her in, and he made me promise to protect her.'' I started to rub my arms and brought my knees up to my chest, trying to focus on forming sentences instead of the memories that flashed through my mind.

''But she died,'' I said as I felt a tear fell down my cheek and I sniffed softly. ''because of me.'' I leaned my head on my knees, done with talking about it. Wishing Rick'd just leave me alone for now.

''I'm sorry.'' He said, ''Do you think he knows where the prison is.'' I shook my head.

''I never told him and I doubt that Daryl did either.'' Suddenly Rick opened his mouth but closed it again, like he wanted to talk about something, but he didn't know how to.

''Aubrey-'' He started, ''Back there with the Governor-''

''I'm fine.'' I interrupted him, avoiding his gaze. He pinched the bridge of his nose, not knowing what to say.

''What happened?'' Goosebumps arrived at my skin and I sighed, refusing to speak. ''Did he-?''

''No.'' I quickly said, ''No, he didn't.'' Rick seemed doubtful when I said that, so I continued. ''He barely even touched me.'' I whispered, this time Rick nodded, still not fully convinced.

''We should let Jennifer or Hershel look you over.'' He said, ''Or maybe even that doctor.'' I shook my head,

''Don't worry, I'm fine.'' I reassured him, Rick sighed at my answer.

''We both know that's not true, you need to get looked over.'' I sighed, knowing he was right.

''Fine.'' I mumbled and together we walked over to Hershel, seeing if he had some time. He did.

''They got you good.'' He mumbled as I sat down on the bed. I slowly nodded, thinking back about Martinez and the Governor.

I hissed when the gash on my forehead that I got from when the Governor slammed against the table.

''I'm sorry.'' Hershel apologized, but I quickly shook my head, letting him know it didn't matter. Rick was silently watching us from the doorway. It made me quite uncomfortable, knowing he was watching my every move.

''Well the gash on your forehead won't need any stitches and I don't think anything is broken on your face, do you have any other injuries?'' He asked me and I blinked, unsure if I should say anything about my ribs, but the ache when I breathed told me I should.

''M-my ribs, they took quite a beating.'' I said, my eyes flickering to Rick for a second before turning back to Hershel.

''With a foot or a hand?'' Hershel calmly asked,

''With a bat.'' I said and I noticed both Rick and Hershel's faces frown or grimace.

''I need you to lie down and lift your shirt up.'' I froze at those words, my heart beat quickening. My mind flashed back to the Governor, but I swallowed and pushed it away. _You're just gonna have to get over it_. I thought to myself, _don't be such a pussy_. I lied down on the bed and hesitantly lifted my shirt up, trying to cover up the fact that I was shaking.

As soon as Hershel touched my lips I let out a groan of pain and bit my lip. Hershel ignored it and quickly kept exterminating my ribs, after he was done he stepped back a little, letting me know I could sit up straight again.

''I think a few ribs are fractured, but they should heal by themselves. All I can do now is give you some painkillers.'' I nodded and after Hershel gave me some, I brushed past Rick and returned back to my cell. Trying to get some sleep.

* * *

 **Okay so guys, I'm curious. Tell me something about yourself. I want to know who reads my story. How old are you? Where are you from? Your name ( If you want) I'll post something about myself in the next chapter.. If you want to hear about me (probably not XD)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Small but important chapter.**

* * *

I woke up somewhere around mid-day, since we arrived pretty early this morning and I didn't get a lot of sleep the last few days. I rubbed my face carefully, making sure not to hurt my already bruised face too bad.

I found Rick in the common room staring at the map that was drawn on the ground with chalk.

''Rick?'' I asked him and he looked up from the map.

''I'm just figuring things out, trying to find the right formation for everyone.'' I nodded at his answer. I couldn't help but notice how bad he looked, he didn't really look stable and the dark circles under his eyes suggested he hadn't had a good night's sleep in a while.

''Rick, you-you need to take a break. Go outside, we'll figure it out eventually.'' I said crouching down in front of him and putting a hand on his shoulder. When his eyes bore into mine I could see how badly he wanted a break. ''I'll guard the tower, you go for a stroll or something, you need it.'' Rick hummed and I stood up, heading for the tower.

I hoped I convinced him to go outside. If he wouldn't, I'd tried at least. I grabbed a machine gun from the weapon bag and walked outside. I didn't expect the Governor to attack today or tomorrow, I'd like to think he had too much damage to already be up and walking, let alone ordering everyone to attack us. That's if he even knew where we were holding up. Still, it didn't hurt to be careful. We were constantly keeping watch at the towers, readying ourselves for a fight.

I passed a few people on my way to the front West-Tower, including my mom and Carl. I couldn't help but notice how much my mom had changed the few weeks we'd been here, even though a lot has happened in these past days, she was still up and running, which was a huge difference from before the group found us. She was worried about our situation, that was clear, but she still wore a smile every day and kept positive these days. I shivered when I thought back to the days where she'd cry herself to sleep every night, because of what I did.

When I was up in the tower I positioned my gun against the railing and got down on one knee, checking out the surroundings for anything strange. My eyes traveled over to Rick who was walking down the field, outside the fences. I wanted to ask him what he was doing, but Hershel was already making his way over to him, well more hobbling his was over. I kept my eyes trained on them as they talked, Rick rubbed against his eyes and seemed to be mumbling things to himself.

I gasped when a gunshot rang out and I turned around, searching for the target, but suddenly gunfire exploded everywhere. I quickly turned back around to see none other than the Governor driving over to our gates, while firing at us. I quickly aimed my gun and fired at anyone from Woodbury. I heard screams coming from behind me, I desperately wanted to turn around and find out who was screaming and why, but the guys down there kept me occupied.

As soon as they had noticed someone was in the watch towers the had started shooting me, I quickly got down on my belly and laid down while shooting.

''Hershel!'' I heard someone yell and quickly gunned down the person that was shooting at them. After a few second the gunfire stopped. I tried to aim at the Governor but when I was ready to pull the trigger a bullet hit the wall next to me. I looked around finding one of the residents aiming his gun at me. I turned my gun at him, ready to kill if his finger got close to the trigger again.

Suddenly we heard the sound of a car nearing. All our heads turned towards the sound, momentarily forgetting about the Governor and his men. A car appeared from out of the woods, driving at a rapid speed. It drove itself through the fence and into the field, where Hershel was. We were all nervously waiting for the next move. The back door of the vehicle opened and there was a quiet second before walkers started to stumble out of the vehicle.

I gasped and turned to fire at the man who stepped out of the car, only he was wearing an armor suit, which made it impossible for me to hurt him. The next thing seemed to happen in slow-motion. I could see my mom running out of the prison, her head turned around, looking for me. When her eyes locked with mine she opened her mouth, but word would never come out. The sound of a gunshot rang in my ears and there was a second of silence before my mom's figure crumbled to the ground. My blood run cold as I stared at her body, my heart missing a few beats.

''MOM!'' I screamed as tears filled my eyes. No, no, no, no, this couldn't be happening. I swiftly turned around to the Governor, his gun was still raised and his eyes were trained on my mother's body, now lying on the ground. As if he knew I was watching, his head turned and his eyes met mine. I started to scream and fire at him, but tears blurred my eyes and I wasn't able to hit him a single time.

As he stepped into his car I didn't waste a second and ran down the tower, in the direction of my mom.

''Mom!'' I yelled again as I ran at full speed towards her, ignoring the walkers around me. As her body grew closer I see blood pouring out of her chest. When I reached her I dropped on my knees next to her.

''Mom, no, no.'' I choked out as I touched the side of her face. She coughed softly as her eyes met mine.

''We have to do something!'' I yelled at anyone who was around me, I didn't know who was standing around me. I didn't notice Axel's body lying just a few meters away from me. Nor did I notice Daryl, Merle and Rick running towards us. Suddenly my eye caught Hershel's

''Hershel, you have to help her!'' I directed towards him and he looked a bit shocked by my sudden outburst. He slowly lowered his eyes to the ground, ''We can't do anything, the wound is in her heart, it's too late.'' At those words I turned back towards my mother, gasping on the ground.

''Y-You can't do this, no, you weren't supposed to die.'' I sobbed as I pushed her hair out of her face. ''I was supposed to keep you alive,'' I leaned my head against my mother's chest as I sobbed uncontrollably. This wasn't the way it should go, she should have grown old. She should have had a happy life, with no worries.

''Aubrey,'' I heard my mom say, although it was more of a whisper. I removed my head from her chest and stared at her as tears filled her eyes.

''I-'' She started, but got interrupted by a coughing fit. I couldn't do anything except look at her, worrying about her, as she choked up some blood. ''I never blamed you.'' She whispered and her hands gripped my arm before releasing it, her eyes turned glassy and I saw the life slowly leaving her eyes, until she fully relaxed.

I grabbed her by her shoulders and hugged her lifeless body. ''I'm sorry.'' I sobbed into the crook of her neck, ''I'm so sorry.'' I cried. She didn't blame me, how could she not blame me? I never realised the crowd around me, my mind was focused on my mother. I refused to let her go as I cried in her shoulder, her body still warm against mine.

 _He_ did this. He killed the only family I had left, and I was going to kill _him_. Eventually I stopped crying and I slowly let her go and let her fall onto the ground. Her chest was coated with blood and I was sure I looked the same way.

Someone appeared beside me and put an arm around my shoulder, I didn't see who it was but I still leaned against him. I closed my eyes and Daryl's scent filled my nose. My hand reached out the touch his shoulder, to check if it was really Daryl, and sure enough I felt his leather jacket against my palm. I opened my eyes and looked at my mom, before looking up and seeing Daryl's face staring at her.

''You came back.'' I mumbled, and his eyes left my mom and turned to me.

''Yeah,'' Was the only thing he said, but I didn't need to hear anything else. I reached out to grab my mom's hand, it had turned cold in all the time I had been here. I wish I'd gotten just one more minute with her, I wanted to tell her so many things. That I loved her, that I wish things would have turned out different between us, that I was sorry, that I would always be there for her, that she could always count on me, but now it was too late.

She's gone. I slowly pushed myself away from Daryl, feeling uncomfortable by the close contact. I grabbed my knife from my belt and without a warning stabbed her through the head. She couldn't turn, and I stabbed her wouldn't turn, and again, She can't turn, and again, before someone grabbed the knife out of my hand, preventing me from doing any more damage to her.

I felt numb, like I was somewhere else. Someone helped me up, but I didn't look up to see who it was. My eyes were still trained on my mother, hoping she would suddenly wake up and be fine. I heard voices talking to me, but they seemed distant, like echoes. I felt myself being led inside and eventually laid down on a bed, probably mine. They left shortly after that, seeing as I didn't look at anyone and was just staring into space. I turned myself around, so that I was facing the wall and had nothing but my thoughts to keep me company.

What if I had stayed there, what if'd I made sure my mom stayed inside as soon as the Governor started shooting? I remembered the look on the Governor's face when he saw my mother crumble to the ground, the spark of amusement in his eyes as he saw my reaction. He was going to die, I was going to kill him. I imagined the Governor standing in front of me and what I would do to him, how I would shoot him, watch him writhe around in pain. I clenched my fists beside me and closed me eyes.

I was going to kill him.

* * *

 **So in the previous chapter I promised I would tell you guys something about myself. Here it goes..**

 **Well I am not going to tell my name (because I have an unusual name and otherwise somebody might recognize it) and age, but I am still in** **High School (so some of you can kinda guess how old I am). I have two siblings, both sisters. I live in Europe, anyone else from Europe?**

 **Well you can guess that I love the Walking Dead, it's my favourite show. Favourite band is Twenty One Pilots and I'm super excited to go to their concert this November * _screaming in the background_ *. I don't really know what else to say.. I'm single... so eh.. wink wink. Just kidding :P, I'm not really looking.**

 **If you guys want to know anything, just ask me, 'cause I don't know what to say.** **Also, if you haven't told me anything about yourself yet, you can still do that. I'd love to read it :D**

 **Thoughts on this chapter?**


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay, I finally fixed the freaking bug, or whatever it was. So enjoy and don't forget to review your thoughts ;)**

* * *

'We can't run.'' Glenn said, his face fierce as he stared at Hershel.

I was sitting on the ground, leaning my back against the wall. I wasn't really joining the conversation, I didn't care what we did, running or staying, it didn't matter. As long as we killed the Governor, I would be fine with whatever they decided.

''No, better to live like rats.'' Merle, Daryl's brother, said. He was standing in the common room, leaning against the bars that separated us from him.

''You got a better idea?'' Glenn scoffed at him. My eyes went to Daryl, who was staring from Glenn to Merle, not knowing if he should intervene or not. It didn't seem easy, having a brother that everyone despised.

''Yeah, we should have slid out of here last night and lived to fight another day.'' He said, his right metal arm leaning in between two bars. I couldn't but stare at it, it really freaked me out. ''But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now.''

''We ain't scared of that prick.'' Daryl mumbled at his brother.

''Y'all should be.'' Merle said and I silently agreed with him. Philip wasn't someone I'd joke around with, he was a sick fuck that didn't want anything else that seeing his 'enemies' fall. As if this was all a game for him.

''That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell.'' He said with a slight smile, ''We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to.'' I slowly shivered at that thought, dying of hunger seemed like a horrible place to go.

''Let's put him in the other cell block.'' Glenn suggested, but before anyone could respond Daryl beat them to it.

''No, man's got a point.''

''This is all you,'' Maggie suddenly lashed out at Merle, ''You started it!''

''Doesn't matter who started it.'' Daryl snapped back.

''What do we do?'' Carol asked, not directing her question to anyone.

''I said we should leave.'' Hershel said, sitting on the stairs.''Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here.'' Suddenly Rick started to walk away and I realized that he hadn't said anything in this whole conversation.

''Get back here!'' Hershel called out to Rick and I flinched at the stern tone in his voice. He hobbled over to Rick, facing him. ''You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it.'' Rick didn't say anything, he just stared at Hershel, I didn't think he was fully understanding him. As if he just let the words slide over him, not caring. ''We understand why. But now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something.'' With those words Hershel walked away, disappearing into his cell. I stood up, also going to my cell. I figured the discussion was over.

Once in my cell, I reached into my pocket, grabbing my mother's ring. I took it from her before we buried her this morning. Almost everybody was against burying my mom, saying it was dangerous with the walkers in the field, but I didn't care. If it was their family they would have done the same thing. I twirled the ring around in my hand. I should make a necklace from it, that'd make sure I didn't lose it. I looked on the inside of the ring and saw the carvings of my parents name in it.

'Jennifer Hamilton & Brian Ross'

I looked up when I saw Daryl walking in. I quickly put the ring in my pocket again, making sure he didn't see it. I didn't want anyone to know I had it, that'd only make everyone worried, worried that I wouldn't be 'moving on'.

''Hey.'' I said, giving him a faint smile.

''Hey,'' He grumbled back, leaning against the doorway. There were a few moments of silence with consisted of me looking at him and of Daryl removing the dirt from under his nails.

''We haven't really had the chance to talk yet.'' He said before sitting across from me, leaning against the wall with one knee up. I looked at the bruises still covering his face, they had faded, but they were still there. Which reminded me, he should get that checked out.

''What do you want to talk about?'' I asked him. he shrugged his shoulder and huffed. I knew I'd put him on the spot, he probably tended to avoid these kind of conversations, I was already surprised he showed up to talk.

''About what happened that night? With the Governor?'' I suggested and he shrugged his shoulders again, but I noticed him tense when I mentioned it. I knew he wouldn't start talking, I knew I had to be the one to start. That didn't make it any easier. I took in a deep breath and out, which ached in my ribs.

''He didn't do anything.'' I lied, not wanting to tell him what really happened. ''He asked me a couple of questions and when I didn't answer them to his satisfaction he slammed my head against the table.'' I pointed towards the gash on my head, which had bruises around it. ''Then Rick found me, and you already know the rest.'' Daryl refused to look at me. When I looked at his hands I noticed how they clenched and unclenched around the fabric of his pants.

''So he didn't-?'' He stopped and gritted his teeth, not able to speak the words.

''Rape me?'' I said harshly, not looking at him while I spoke. But I still noticed him flinch from across me. ''No. He didn't.''

Again a silence arose. I gritted my teeth, I wanted to ask him so many things. What had happened to him at Woodbury? How did he find his brother? But above all I was angry at him, he just left and then expected to come back and be welcomed with open arms. I understood why he left. Hell, I probably would have done the same thing. But how dare he come back here and demand answers, acting like nothing ever happened. Why did he come back? What made his mind change?

'' 'm sorry about you mom.'' He said and I snapped my eyes over to his, he seemed to be surprised by the sudden chance in my mood.

''Don't talk about her.'' I said, my brows furrowing together in anger, ''You especially don't get to talk about her.''

''What'd I do?'' He said pushing himself up from the floor.

''You left us! You left me!'' I stepped forward, my eyes darkening. His mouth turned into a straight line and I saw his breathing becoming ragged.

''That doesn't have nothing to do with it!'' He yelled throwing his arms up.

''If you hadn't left, maybe she would have lived! I could have been there for her, you were always the one that took watch!'' I yelled, my heart pounding in my chest. This time, he didn't say anything, he just endured it. Tears filled my eyes as I tried not to let my voice break.

''It's al your fault! You were being selfish, not thinking about anyone else. What were we supposed to do without you! Did you ever think about that?'' I put my hands on his chest and pushed him towards the cell door. He stumbled back a bit, his eyes widening a bit.

''Man y'all know nothing!'' He suddenly yelled at me, I was a bit taken back by his sudden outburst. I hadn't expected him to say anything. ''You woulda done the same thing if it was you! So don't go blamin' me for sometin' I never did!'' I opened my mouth, but quickly shut it. I knew he was right, but it was just hard to accept it.

I squeezed my eyes shut, a few tears falling down my cheeks. ''I'm sorry.'' I whimpered as I wiped my face, getting rid of any hanging tears.

''Fuck this.'' Daryl said and stomped away, I didn't know where he was going but it was probably best to leave him alone for some time.

I fucked up, I really fucked up this time. I very well knew it wasn't Daryl's fault, hell, it wasn't anybody's fault except mine. ''Stupid, stupid, stupid.'' I mumbled to myself as I soflty hit my forehead, careful not to re-open the wound. When I looked around I saw that Lori and Carol were standing at the stairs. Lori was heavily leaning on Carol, probably not fully healed from the C-section.

I rushed over to her and threw her free arm over my shoulder, guiding her over to the common room. Merle had been given a cell to sleep in for the night, but I think he was currently outside.

''What was that about?'' Lori asked me as we placed her on the bench.

''Nothing, I was just blaming him for something I shouldn't have.'' I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face. Lori patted the empty space next to her and Carol noticed the hint and mumbled about checking on Judith.

''Rick told me about what happened with the Governor.'' I flinched when she said that.

''Can everybody just stop asking me about that? I just want to forget it.'' I leaned with my back against the table and Lori did the same.

''I'm sorry,'' Lori apologized but I quickly shook my head.

''Don't worry you couldn't have known.'' I reassured her.

''I'm also sorry about what happened to Jennifer.'' Lori said and I looked away from her, avoiding her gaze. ''She was such a lovely woman, she really cared, we need more people like that.''

I nodded absently at her words, mentally thanking her for saying that. ''She didn't deserve this.'' I whispered to her and Lori rubbed my back in a comforting way. Somehow Lori reminded me a bit of my mother, before the outbreak then. When she was still stable.

''She didn't.'' Lori said. ''But Aubrey, honey, I need you to stop blaming yourself.'' I opened my mouth but she beat me to it.

''I can see it, your face is full of guilt.'' I let out a shaky sigh and dropped my head in my hands.

''I just can't help but think about all the things I could have done to prevent it.'' I said, feeling hot tears on my palms.

''I know, but as harsh as it may sound, it happened. There's nothing you can do about it now. Jennifer wouldn't want you to keep blaming yourself like this.'' I looked up from my palms and into her eyes, they were a bit glazed as she looked over at me and I felt bad for making her cry.

''I'll try.'' I mumbled and she nodded, satisfied with my answer.

Not even a minute later the door from the common room opened and Rick, Glenn, Maggie, Carl and Daryl walked in, along with someone I didn't recognize. Instantly my guard was up and I reached for my gun, putting it out of its holster, but not raising it. The woman they brought with them saw it and stared at it with a worried look.

''Who is she?'' I asked Rick as he stood behind the woman.

''This is Andrea.'' Suddenly something clicked in my mind and I recognized her, she was the one Rick and the group was talking about after we got out of Woodbury.

''The Governor's bitch.'' I mumbled, apparently she heard me because her eyes narrowed.

''Excuse me?'' She asked.

''You heard me.'' I spat at her, tightening my grip around my gun. Suddenly Carol walked in and when she saw Andrea she went in for a hug.

''After you saved me, we thought you were dead.'' She mumbled into Andrea's ear. Hershel also walked in and Andrea gasped when she saw him.

''Hershel, my God.'' She said, her hands in front of her mouth. ''I can't believe this. Where's Shane? And T-Dog?'' I shivered when I heard T-Dogs name. Shane, I didn't knew, but I had heard about him.

''They didn't survive.'' Hershel said.

''I'm so sorry.'' She mumbled ''Carl.'' She directed towards him, but he just looked away.

''Rick, I-'' Rick did the same thing and ignored Andrea's looks. There were a few moments of awkward silence before she spoke again.

''You all live here?''

''Here and in the cell block.'' Glenn said, a little bit hostile.

''There?'' She pointed towards the door that led to the cell block. ''Well, can I go in?'' She stepped forwards walking towards the block but before I could stop her Rick did. He stepped in front of her, blocking her way. ''I can't allow that.'' He said sternly and I noticed the tension rise in the room.

''I'm not an enemy, Rick.'' She said a little surprised at the sudden behavior of the group.

''We had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up.'' I said to her. She narrowed her eyes at me for a second.

''He said you fired first.'' She said not really believing me, which was understandable, but still stupid.

''Well, he's lying.'' I snapped back.

''He killed an inmate who survived in here.'' Hershel said.

''And Aubrey's mom.'' Daryl pointed at me and I quickly directed my eyes anywhere but to her.

''I didn't know anything about that, as soon as I found out, I came'' Suddenly she raised her voice a bit, ''I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out.''

''That was days ago.'' Glenn said, not believing a word she said.

''I told you, I came as soon as I could.'' She objected, then she turned to Michonne. ''What have you told them?''

''Nothing.'' Michonne said, still as calm as ever.

''I don't get it.'' Andrea started to get fed up. ''I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?''

''He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed us.'' Glenn said, still holding onto his machete.

''With his finger on the trigger.'' She yelled, pointing at Merle, ''Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?'' After she spoke those words it got quiet and Andrea sighed,

'' Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done. But I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out-''

''There's nothing to work out.'' I said, standing up from the bench. ''We're gonna kill him.'' I clenched my fists together, trying really hard not to lash out at Andrea. It may not be her fault, but she was still stupid enough to ignore all the signs that Philip was a sick fuck. That he wasn't anything but a mass murderer.

''We can settle this.'' She directed towards Rick, ignoring my comments. ''There is room at Woodbury for all of you.'' Daryl and I scoffed at the same time.

''You know better than that.'' Merle spoke up, ''What makes you think this man wants to negotiate? Did he say that?'' Hershel asked Andrea and after a few seconds of silence she shook her head.

''No.''

''Then why did you come here?'' Rick asked,

''Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack.''

''I'll tell you what.'' Daryl said slowly, ''Next time you see Philip, you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye.'' I smiled a little at myself for that. Knowing he fully meant it. I still had to talk to him after this, I had to apologize for the stupid shit I had said.

''We're taken too much shit for too long. He wants a war? He's got one.'' Glenn added to the conversation.

''Rick.'' Andrea said, turning to Rick. ''If you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town.'' I snorted, like those people could fight. ''Look at you. You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore.''

''You want to make this right, get us inside.'' Rick said stepping closer to Andrea.

''No,'' She immediately said.

''Then we got nothing to talk about.'' He said walking away, when the door shut behind him I stood up too. If she wasn't planning on helping us, if she was only planning on 'making peace', I didn't want anything to do with her. Instead, I followed Rick outside. Seeing what he was up to.

At the moment, there wasn't a lot of things to do around here, except keeping your guard up every minute. Being prepared to fight at the most inconvenient times, maybe gather some supplies.

Rick was sitting on one of the picnic tables outside, his arms resting on his knees.

''Hey,'' I said, announcing my presence. He looked up at me and gave me a nod, before gesturing I sit down beside him. ''How are you?'' I asked and he was silent for a moment before he sighed.

"I don't know anymore.'' He whispered and leaned against the table behind him, sitting upright a bit.

''Is everything okay between you and Lori?'' I leaned forward a bit and tilted my head so that I was looking up at him.

''Yeah, we've been fine. Things are finally starting to get right between us.'' I nodded and smiled at myself. It was good that they got along better, I remembered the first day I met them. Rick was ignoring Lori, acting as if she was more of a burden than a blessing. I knew now, that he only acted that way to protect her.

''I'm thinking on going on a run tomorrow.'' He broke the silence, ''You want to join?''

''Who's coming with?''

''Carl, and I was thinking about taking Michonne with us, giving her a chance.'' I nodded, it seemed fine. Even though Michonne didn't seem to like me as much before, probably because of my 'relationship' with the Governor, but now she seemed to accept me.

''Sure, I'll come along.''


	22. Chapter 22

Rick, Michonne, Carl and I were sitting in the car the next morning. We'd decided to leave as early as possible so that we could have the whole day to scout the place. The goodbye's this morning were quite awkward. I still hadn't apologized to Daryl, not because I didn't want to, I just felt like the right time hadn't come yet. Also, I felt like Daryl would approach me eventually, when he felt like he was ready. So that's why the parting had been so awkward.

Rick put another backpack in the trunk of the car. Lori was standing close to him with Judith, slowly watching his moves and actions. I was grabbing some ammo for my pistol and checking the barrel if there was a bullet left in it. When Carol appeared behind me. Carol was a strange person, I didn't really know what to think of her. She seemed nice enough, but there was something off about her. I didn't feel like I could fully trust her, she knew what she had to do and seemed to have no trouble pushing her feelings aside to do the necessary.

Carol pulled me into a swift hug and told me good luck. I thanked her and after that it was like a chain. Everyone wished us good luck and told us to be safe. Then Daryl was the only one left who I still had to say goodbye too.

''Be safe.'' I said, scratching the back of my head in an awkward manner.

''Mm-hmm,'' He hummed. It seemed like he could only look at me for a few seconds, before he had to turn his gaze elsewhere. ''You too,'' He mumbled and I nodded.

Daryl went to walk away but I quickly called him out.

''Daryl?'' He turned back to me, ''After this, we should talk.'' He nodded and walked over to the others. I looked back at Rick and saw that he was waiting for me along with Carl and Michonne. He seemed to notice the little exchange Daryl and I had. After Daryl and I had our little argument, the news spread like a wild fire, and it didn't really help that Daryl and I totally ignored each other for the rest of the day.

I walked over to Rick and the others.

''You ready to go?'' I asked them and they all gave me a nod.

''Let's go.'' Rick said, slamming the door of the trunk closed.

It was super quiet in the car, there was a tension in the air that you could cut through. I didn't like the silence in the car. I didn't like it before the outbreak and I sure as hell didn't enjoy in now.

''Where exactly are we going Rick?'' I asked, leaning forward to the drivers seat. I was in the back next to Carl who, for some reason, was pouting like a child. I figured it had to do with Michonne being here, since he wasn't really fond of her. I hoped it wasn't because of me, that would be awkward. Michonne sat next to Rick in the passenger seat, looking out of the window.

''King Country.'' He said, not speaking anymore. I shifted a bit in my seat, trying to find a comfortable position. My hand softly touched my pocket, feeling my mother's ring. With my fingers I circled around the ring, like a reassurance.

Goosebumps arrived at my skin when we heard someone yell from outside the car.

''Hey!'' We heard and when I looked out the window you saw a hitchhiker, waving his arms around. ''Stop the car!'' He said. When I looked at Rick for a reaction, his face was stone cold.

''R-Rick?'' I said as the hitchhiker came closer. He was silent as we drove past the screaming hiker and I shivered.

''Why aren't we stopping?'' I looked back at the man and Carl did the same, not speaking up.

''He's not our problem.'' Michonne spoke up and I clenched my fists.

''He could have been an asset to the group, we need all the men we can get.'' I snapped back, the hitchhiker had disappeared into a faint figure in the background and I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

I saw Carl giving his dad a strange look, but even if Rick noticed he didn't say anything. He just kept staring forwards, ignoring everyone.

I crossed my arms over my chest and angrily looked out the window. This trip wasn't going so great, already. It wasn't even a minute later or we had to slow down. Some kind of carcrash blocked the road and we had to drive around it.

It seemed like one car crashed into the other with full speed. In the front car were two bodies, but it seemed like they'd hit their head so hard it had caused damage to the brain which prevented them from turning. There were still a lot of stuff on top of the car and I imagined there must be a lot in the trunk too. Before I could even suggest we check it out, the car stopped. I glanced up from my window and saw Rick full frustration trying to move the car forwards. We were stuck.

Just as I was reaching out the open my door, several walkers appeared and surrounded out car. I sighed and leaned back against my seat.

''Cover your ears.'' Rick said and we all did as he said. He pulled his gun out and opened his side window a little bit before shooting the walkers one by one in the head.

After Rick's little walker-slaughter we all stepped out of the car. Rick and Carl started to search for some blanket to get us out of the mud and Michonne took place in the drivers seat. I walked over to the red front car and started to look through their stuff. It was all just a bunch of clothes and useless items, photo's, earrings, books, it seemed like all the good stuff was already taken. Then my eye caught something on the woman in the passenger seat. It was a necklace. My fingers grazed the ring in my pocket and I looked at the woman again.

She was dead, no doubt. She hadn't moved in the time I was here yet. My hand reached out the grab the necklace, but when I tried to unlock it, it deemed more difficult than expected. I had to use both of my hands to make sure I didn't break it. The woman reeked of death and I tried my best not to gag or vomit at the smell. When I almost got it something suddenly grabbed a hold of my hand and the familiar sound of groaning could be heard. I quickly tried to pull my hand back, and saw it was the man next to the dead woman that had grabbed my hand. A small whimper escaped my lips when it didn't want to let go. It had pulled myself towards him and into the car, which ended up in me not being able to reach my knife with my other hand.

I did the only thing I could think of and made a fist of my free hand. WIthout a second of hesitation I started to slam it on top of his head. I could hear the sickening crunch of his skull as I kept hitting it with my fist. Blood spattered everywhere on my face. When I hit it for about the tenth time, the walker finally slumped in my hold and I pulled myself back so abruptly that I fell backwards on the road.

''Holy shit,'' I heard someone mumble and I saw Carl running towards me, Rick closely following him.

''What happened?'' Rick asked but I ignored him and looked at the necklace that was now broken in two.

''Are you okay?'' Carl asked and I nodded, wiping some blood of my face.

''Yeah, I'm fine.'' I said looking at the dead walker, that was slumped over the steering wheel. ''I thought it was dead, but I was wrong.'' I pushed myself up from the ground.

''Let's go.'' I mumbled and brushed past them, towards the car.

Eventually we arrived at King Country and I was glad we could leave the car. After my incident with the necklace everything got more tense than it already was, probably because I'd reacted a bit cold.

The first place we went to was the police station. Rick told us about how there were a lot of guns and ammo stacked there, if it wasn't taken already. I doubted the fact that there were still a lot of guns left, I would have picked that station clean, if I lived here.

Rick quietly opened the door and shuffled in, raising his gun for any danger. I was the last to walk in, behind Michonne. I saw Rick lowering his gun, when he saw that the place was clean of guns and ammo. He sighed and walked forward, kicking the wall to let his frustration out.

''You got any other police stations in town?'' Michonne asked Rick. I looked over at her and saw she had picked up a bullet, one of the few things left.

''I was the police here.'' Rick turned around, facing her. ''Me and a few guys, ain't a big town.'' He sighed. He bit his bottom lip, thinking about what to do next. I leaned against the bars, checking the ground for anything that was left behind.

''There's other places to check.'' Rick mumbled, a bit unsure about himself. ''May not have as many guns as were in here but-''

''We need as many guns as were in here.'' Michonne interrupted him. I cringed when I saw the look Rick was giving her, glad it wasn't directed to me. ''Ammo, too.''

''Yeah, we do.'' Rick said, ''But right now I only got a line of a couple. There's a few places down on the main street. Bars, a liquor store. Owners had a gun or two behind the counter that people didn't know about. I did. I signed the permits. They might still be there.'' There were a few second of silence and Rick looked up at Michonne, who's back was still turned towards Rick.

''Do you have a problem with that approach?'' He challenged her and felt my heart skip a beat.

''Rick.'' I warned him and he looked up at me, I noticed his shoulders relax a bit, but only a little bit.

''No Rick, I don't have a problem.'' She almost whispered and stepped forward, handing him the bullet she'd just picked up. I let out a breath that I didn't know I'd been holding and gave Carl a look.

When we walked out of the police station and into the streets, some of the walls had been painted on and on the floor were arrows, pointing in the same direction.

Some of the walls had just arrow's on them and some of them had sentences like, 'Away with you,' or 'Clear'. I tried not to look at them too much, when everybody suddenly stopped. We all looked at a pile of bodies, burned bodies. Somebody's been busy here. I tried to keep a straight face as I stared at the bodies, but it was all pretty obvious we were all shocked by it. Who had burned those bodies?

''Maybe there's a group nearby..'' I trailed off, looking at Rick. He nodded slowly, his eyes not leaving the pile of bodies. A group could mean that this whole town had already been looted, meaning there wouldn't be a lot left for us.

''Yeah..'' Rick said, his voice raspy as he inspected his surroundings. ''Keep your eyes open.'' He said his eyes lingering on Carl for a while before we cautiously continued walking. I couldn't help but shake off the feeling that we were being watched. It was very unnerving to keep turning your head at any sound the town made.

We unintentionally followed the arrows and when we turned around the corner we all stopped. I let out a small breath that I had taken in when we rounded the corner.

''What is it?'' Michonne asked and when Rick slowly started to walk forward we all did the same, grabbing our weapons in the process.

''I don't know.'' Rick mumbled, keeping his gun low but loading it, ready to fire.

In front of us was a street. The street was fairly normal, except for the spikes and traps that filled it. Further down you could hear rats squeaking and birds flapping around in cages. Ropes connected with each bundle of spikes and in front of all the spikes was a drawn line, above the line was written 'TURN AROUND AND LIVE'. When I looked around I could see various other texts written on either cloths or walls.

I doubted if we should continue, but Rick stepped towards the home-made slaughter machine, and the rest followed. I gripped my gun tighter in my hand and my other hand was placed on machete which was safely tucked in my belt. I didn't think that getting it out would help us that much, we were obviously up against people, not walkers.

I wasn't sure if I was happy about that or not. Walkers were stupid and deadly, people were smart and deadly, but you could talk to them. Make them change their minds if you were smart enough. Even thought I couldn't decide, I was definitely more cautious.

I almost jumped when I heard groaning coming from behind me. The rest all calmy turned around, not bothered by the walker at all. Michonne had stepped forward to end its excistence, but Carl stopped her.

''Don't. She'll get caught.'' He said and Michonne let her katana fall back into its holster. Just when I lowered my weapon, seeing the walker indeed got caught, a gunshot ran and I instantly raised it again. We all looked around, searching for the source of the sound. We found it on top of a building, the person standing there was in some kind of body suit and he had a helmet on.

''Hands!'' He yelled and we all instinctly put our hands up in the air. I looked around me, searching for any possible escape.

''Drop what you've got and go!'' He pointed the gun at each of us individually, trying to aim at all of us. He could never hit us at the same time, which was an advantage for us. We outnumbered him, unless he had more people, but I thinkt they would have come out by now.

''Your guns, your shoes and that sword.'' He pointed at Michonne's sword, ''All of it. 10 seconds.'' I exchanged a look with Rick, considering our possibilities.

''10.'' He yelled and I started to shift my weight from one foot to another, getting anxious.

''9.''

''Run for the car now.'' He said to Carl, not moving his gaze from the man on the roof.

''Dad.'' Carl said shocked.

''8.''

''We need that rifle.'' Michonne mumbled. ''I think I can get up there.''

''7,''

''Aubrey go with Carl, to the car.''

''6,''

''Carl go!'' Rick said and raised his gun to shoot at the man. I grabbed Carl's hand, half dragging me with him to the back of the car. Gunfire exploded everywhere as I ducked, trying to avoid any bullets. Fortunate for Carl and me, no bullets were directed towards us, so we could escape quite easily.

I pressed my back to the car door and next to me Carl did the same. Now safe from gunfire, Carl began to complain.

''We have to help.'' He said, ''We can't just leave them to do all the fighting.'''

''Why would you have to do the fighting?'' I said, trying to make sure we weren't visible from our hiding spot.

''Because I can!'' I said, clenching his fists. I started at them for a moment, thinking about why he would get so angry about that. When I heard bullets hit the car we both flinched.

''Stay down!'' I said to Carl as I turned around and aimed at the man on the roof. I fired a few bullets before pressing myself against the car again, taking cover. My heart stopped when I looked next to me and saw that Carl was no longer here.

''Fuck.'' I mumbled and peeked around the corner of the car, looking at a possible direction Carl had walked in. The gunfire had stopped, which made it easier for me to look for Carl. I walked over to a barrel, taking cover behind it. Why couldn't Carl just listen for once and stay behind the car, like a normal teenage boy. I sighed, I guess 'normal' didn't really exist anymore in this world.

I spotted Rick behind another car, aiming at the roof, but not firing. When I looked up I saw that the roof was empty, the man was gone. An unnerving feeling started to form in my stomach and when Michonne appeared up the roof from another building, I realised I hadn't seen Carl yet. My blood ran cold as I searched for Carl in the mess of spikes, barrels, wires and cars.

That's when the gunfire started again. The man had walked downstairs, shooting at us from a closer range now. Panick started to set in as I now had to look out for the man and search for Carl. I saw Rick also hiding behind a few barrels, the man heading straight for him. I'd started to take out my gun, aiming for him, but before I could pull the trigger a shot rang out and the man fell on the ground.

I stood up immediately, seeing Carl with his gun slightly raised. Rick was already standing next to him as I rushed towards Carl.

''Carl, why would you do that!'' I said, grabbing him by his shoulders, I wasn't sure if I was talking about him running away or him shooting the man.

''I came here to help,'' He stated, ''and I did.'' He pointed at the unconsious man lying on the ground. I nodded, I had to give him that. I still gave an uncertain look at Rick, it was his boy, he was the one to decide if what he did was bad or not. Rick saw my gaze and nodded at me, understanding what I was trying to say.

''I didn't want you to have to do that.'' He said, apologising.

''I had to,'' Carl defended himself. Rick let it at that and crouched down beside the man, thumping on his stomach.

''He's wearing a body armor.'' He confirmed what I had already thought and opened the blouse. The bullet could be seen in the armor and Rick raised it, looking at the bruise that was already starting to form on the man's stomach. You could also see the steady rise and fall of his chest, signaling that he was still alive.

''Well, he's alive.'' Rick stated

''Do we care?'' Michonne asked confused and Rick just gave her a look I couldn't see. He removed the helmet of of the man's head and looked stunned for a second.

''Yeah, we do.'' He mumbled,

''Why?'' I asked, not that I didn't care about the man's life, but more about why Rick cared. He didn't have any trouble leaving the hitchhiker alone, why was this man so important?

''Because I know him.''


	23. Chapter 23

While Michonne and Rick had started to carry the man, Morgan according to Rick, inside. Rick warned us about the booby trap under the welcome mat and to look out for more booby traps. If it was my decision, I would have said we left right away. I didn't want to risk my life, dying of a stupid booby trap, but Rick had insisted. He knew this man, apparently this man had saved his life.

Rick had always been a bit vague about the time he woke up from the hospital, I guess it wasn't his favourite story to tell. I can't imagine how it would be to wake up like that, everyone and everything around you is already dead, you're just kind of in the middle of it. I heard he woke up, wandered around and stumbled upon a man with his kid. The kid had knocked him out, Rick defending himself that was only possible because just got out of the hospital and was weak, otherwise it had never happened. Sure Rick. But anyway, the kid knocked him out with a shovel and he awoke in Morgan's house. He told us he had left quickly, wanting to find Lori and Carl.

While Carl and I slowly followed Rick and Michonne, we heard Rick yell: ''Watch out for the wire!'' And we both looked down to see a transparent wire. Goosebumps arrived at my skin when I found out that attached to the wire was an axe, which would have swung at my head if I had stepped on the wire. It also didn't go unnoticed that the axe was already covered in blood, walkers or humans, I don't think I wanted to know.

When we arrived in the room I almost gasped. Writings with crayon and spray cans covered the wall. Names of people that turned, advice for himself and sentences that didn't make any sense. Rick and Michonne put Morgan on the cot, while Carl had already started to load up his bag with ammo. I followed his lead and grabbed anything useful I could find, which was a lot. I grabbed a couple of handguns and a few knives and machete's, flashlights, matches, a few canned goods. My bag was almost full when Rick stopped Carl, me and Michonne, who'd also started to fill up her bag.

''No,'' He said, sweat forming on his forehead, ''We're gonna wait for him to wake up. Make sure he's okay.'' He was still glancing around the room, amazed or confused by the state of it, I wasn't sure which one.

Michonne stood up,

''He tried to kill us,'' She spoke up, completely disagreeing with his choice.

''He told us to go, he didn't know who we were.'' Rick defended him.

''He tried to kill us and we didn't leave him for the walkers. He's had a good day. He doesn't need half of these guns. We do.'' She stated and I was doubting which side to choose. I knew Michonne was right, but it also didn't feel right to just leave him like that, especially if Rick knew him. Although I doubted if he had recognized Rick at all.

''I don't care what we do, as long as we make he doesn't try to kill us again.'' I commented. Rick nodded at me, I wasn't sure what he thought of my statement, but I don't think he really considered anything we said. He'd already made up his mind, we were going to wait.

''We're waiting for him to wake up, that's it.''

''Have you taken a look around this place?'' Michonne's frustration was growing by the minute and it was evident in her voice and her stand. I instinctively took a step back, intimidated by her glare, which was fortunately not directed towards me. ''The axe, the spikes, the walls.''

''You think he's crazy?'' Rick snapped his head to the side, facing Michonne.

''No, I think he's dangerous.'' She said, trying to calm herself down.

''I know him.'' Was Rick's argument, which wasn't a strong one.

''He wasn't like this then.''

''We're gonna wait for him to wake up.'' He grabbed some zip ties and walked over to Morgan, restraining him. I wasn't going to lie, the zip ties made my shoulders relax a little bit more. I trusted Rick's judgement, but I didn't trust Morgan.

I walked over to the walls, inspecting the writings on them. One at least two of the walls were the largest writings: 'DUANE TURNED', whoever Duane was, he must have been someone important to Morgan. Several things were written across it, like:

'Sick after blood cover', 'IBBEN', 'Eugene turned', 'Zack turned' and other things.

Each sentence made the hair at the back of my neck stand up, I wondered with how many people Morgan had been before he ended up alone. It must be pretty lonely to live like this, although I didn't think he cared about that at all. Morgan seemed lost, and it unnerved me that I could have become like that, that I almost became like that. After my dad and my little sister died, I had been so angry. Angry at everything. At the walkers, at any other survivors, at the people or thing that had caused the outbreak, at the world. But Rick and his group brought me back, well almost. I was definitely not close to healed, but I was getting there.

My heart broke when I thought of my mom, she'd loved to hear me say those things out loud. We never had the best mother-daughter relationship, but we had gotten closer over the past few weeks, after Rick and the rest had arrived. I had finally started to feel like we got along again, like we could be a family again.

I sighed and pushed the thoughts out of my mind, this wasn't the best place to think about that right now.

''What do you see?'' I heard Rick say and I turned around, finding Carl staring at a wall, where a map was drawn.

''It's our neighbourhood.'' Carl spoke softly, ''It's gone.'' He said, sounding disappointed.

''Is that why you wanted to come? To see the house?'' Carl didn't answer for a few second, probably thinking about the answer himself.

''Carl?'' Rick asked him and it seemed like he snapped Carl out of something, because he started to talk.

''I-I just wanted to come.'' He stumbled, not seeming very sure of himself.

The moment was interrupted by a loud crunch next to me. Rick sighed.

''We're eating his food now?'' He asked, although he didn't really sound that mad.

''The mat did say welcome.'' She shrugged and I grinned, plopping down next to her and eating along.

''She's right,'' I said with my mouth stuffed full. When he saw the state I was in he couldn't help but smile a little before shaking his head.

Carl suddenly appeared again, coming out of the next room.

''I'm going on a run.'' He simply said, as if there was no room for discussion.

''What?'' I said, but since my mouth was full it sounded more like _'Wa?_ '

''Where?'' Rick asked and although I wanted to tell them that it was a stupid idea, this wasn't my son, it wasn't my decision to make. Also, I trusted Carl to look out for himself, now that there weren't any crazy men shooting at us.

''I thought maybe the one thing people didn't loot was cribs. And there's that baby place that mom's friend Sara ran.'' I visibly tensed at the mention of a Sara and instantly stopped chewing, swallowing the food that was left in my mouth. Not feeling hungry anymore, I shoved the bag of chips aside. ''It's just around the corner.''

''Carl-'' Rick started but Carl instantly went in to defend himself.

''Dad, it's just around the corner and there's all those walker traps.''

''You're gonna need help carrying the box.'' Michonne chimed in.

''What?'' Carl said, probably surprised by her sudden interest in the conversation.

''If you're gonna get a crib, you have to get the box.'' She said still chewing on the chips, ''It's big and heavy. You're gonna need some help.'' Carl just stared at her, not happy with the fact that she was intervening.

''You are going to get a crib, right?'' She put him on the spot, Carl had no other choice than to nod. ''That's what I said.''

''Then I'll go with him.'' She stated, stuffing another mouthful of chips in her mouth. Rick considered this for a second before agreeing with Michonne.

''Right there, that's the deal.'' He said, standing up from whatever he was doing. ''You get into trouble you holler okay? I'll hear it from here.''

''Okay,'' Carl said, agreeing with his dad. Although he didn't exactly agree with Michonne coming along, he probably realised that this was as good as it was going to get.

They quickly left after that, leaving Rick and me in silence. Rick started walking around, inspecting the walls like I had done earlier.

''Who's Duane?'' I asked him, ''Do you know that?'' Rick nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose.

''Yeah, Duane was Morgan's son.'' He sighed, touching the wall shortly.

''Oh.'' I said, feeling sorry for the man. Rick just nodded, but more to himself than to me. He walked over to the other room, where the map was drawn on the wall, studying it.

I had also stood up, looking out the window. I quickly turned around to look at Morgan, who was still unconscious on his bed, before turning back to look out the window again.

It felt sympathy for the man, losing your son must be horrible. And if there was a son, there had to have been a wife, or at least a mother. I wondered how it happened, but there was also a feeling in my stomach that just didn't want to know.

I heard the sound of footsteps behind me and I turned around, expecting to find Rick. But I was met with Morgan, when he saw me he charged towards me with a knife. I grunted when he flickered his knife to me, almost missing my stomach by an inch. Instead, it sliced right across my arm. I let out a groan when I felt the stinging in my arm and looked down to see a quite sizeable gash across my arm. Morgan charged again, this time pushing me on the ground, but before he could do anything Rick had grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him back.

''Stop!'' He yelled, ''Look at me, do you see who I am?'' Morgan was laying on his back facing Rick.

''People wearing dead people's faces!'' Morgan yelled at him. I clamped my hand down on my arm, trying to stop the bleeding, but when I saw Rick wasn't planning on attacking Morgan I let my arm go and grabbed my gun.

''You know me!'' Rick yelled and Morgan stood up, ''No, I don't know you!'' He pushed himself against Rick, with the full intention of stabbing him, but Rick held his shotgun against Morgan's chest, preventing him from doing so. I wanted to shoot him, but was too afraid of hitting Rick. They were screaming at each other, Rick trying to make Morgan see Rick and Morgan yelling that he didn't know Rick.

When Morgan pushed Rick to the ground I quickly stood up and charged towards him, planning on hitting him in the head, before he hurt Rick. But when I reached it was too late. Morgan had stabbed the knife in Rick's shoulder and I flinched as Rick cried out in pain. I swiftly hit Morgan in the head and he fell over. It wasn't enough to knock him out but he quickly fell down, to his side. I cocked the gun and pointed it at his head.

My heart jumped when he grabbed my gun. The gash Morgan had made was on my right arm, meaning I had to hold my gun with my left hand. I was scared he was going to grab it right out of my hand, since I wasn't holding a really strong grib, and instantly tried to jump back. But Morgan kept a firm hold on my gun, except he didn't try to grab it out of my hands, he tried to keep it in place.

''Please,'' He pleaded me, ''Please, kill me.'' He started to cry and my eyes widened, I didn't know what to do so I just lowered my gun as Morgan started to let out heart-wrenching sobs. I gave Rick a look and my eyes flew to his shoulder in concern. We were going to have to bandage that.

Rick came towards Morgan with a new pair of zip ties, this time being smart and putting his hands behind his back. I roughly pushed him against a box, not really caring about how rough I was being, and turned towards Rick.

''We're gonna have to take a look at your shoulder.'' I pointed at his wound, which was bleeding through his shirt.

''Same with you.'' He said, I looked down to see the blood dripping down my arm and onto the floor. I hoped Morgan wasn't fond of his floor.

''I'm fine, we'll take a look at your shoulder first.'' I insisted before turning to Morgan.

''Where are the medical supplies?'' Morgan nodded his head towards a cabinet and I quickly walked over it, he was right, there were medical supplies. Some painkillers, some antiseptic and bandages. I walked over to Rick who had already taken his shirt off.

''Can you lift your arm for me?'' I asked him and he slowly lifted his arm a few inches before hissing in pain and dropping it again.

''At least you can move it, that means that he didn't cut through any muscles.'' Without a warning, I pressed some antiseptic on his wound, which caused him to curse and back away.

''Sorry,'' I said, while grinning. He gave me a look that said he knew I wasn't sorry at all. I stuck out my tongue and he rolled his eyes. After bandaging the wound I gave him a pounce on the back.

''Good job, if I had any lollipops I'd give you one.'' He glared playfully at me and pointed at my arm.

''Your turn.'' My playful face fell into a grimace when I realized I probably needed stitches.

''Shit.'' I mumbled, but still held my arm out for him to take care off. The stitches were simply a pain in the ass, since the painkillers didn't work so soon, but we also needed to stop the bleeding, so we decided to do it without the painkillers. After the stitches he bandaged it up and we both took some painkillers before turning to Morgan, who'd been quietly whispering to himself.

''Just kill me.'' He spoke up, this time hearable.

''You found me last year in my front yard, Morgan.'' Rick spoke, putting on his shirt. ''You fed me, you told me what was happening. You _saved_ me.'' He stood up and started to button up his shirt.

''My name is Rick Grimes, you know me. I'm not wearing a dead man's face.'' Suddenly he walked over to Morgan, grabbing a walkie-talkie. ''I gave you this. I said I'd turn it on every day at dawn. So you could find me'' My eyebrows shot up at that, he never told me about the walkie-talkie part, not that he was obligated to, I was just surprised.

Morgan's eyes widened slightly as he eyed the walkie in Rick's hand, his gaze shot from Rick to the walkie before he mumbled.

''Rick?'' Before he let out a sigh.

''Oh damn, Rick, I know you. I know who you are.'' The relief of knowing someone was clear in his voice. ''You said you'd turn it on everyday at down, I mean, I hadn't worked up to it yet. But then I did. Every day on the roof for weeks, me and my boy.'' Sadness overtook the man's features as he thought back of his boy. ''And then, just me.''

''But you weren't there,'' He continued. ''You said you'd turn it on, every day at dawn. You said you would turn yours on every day at dawn.''

Rick started to speak, explain why he didn't, but Morgan just yelled over him.

''YOU SAID YOU'D TURN YOURS ON EVERY DAY AT DAWN AND YOU WERE NOT THERE!'' I flinched at the volume of his voice and the sadness and anger directed towards Rick.

''I kept-'' He started and swallowed, before continuing. ''I kept getting pushed farther out.'' He explained and I watched as a single tear rolled down Morgans cheek. ''I had to, I didn't have a choice.'' He stood up, pacing around the room.

''I found my wife and my boy, and I had a group to keep safe. We kept getting pushed farther out.'' He repeated the last sentence. Out of anger Morgan kicked the walkie talkie away.

''You can keep your radio, 'cause it looks like I finally found you! You found your wife and son.'' After that he fell silent for a few seconds, before continuing. ''Did your wife- did she- did she turn?''

''No, she's alive.'' He said, almost sounding guilty about it.

''So you didn't have to see that then? No,'' He said suddenly starting to laugh, which made me jump a bit. I had silently watched the exchange, feeling like if I would make my presence known, I would intervene in something private. ''No, not like me. You remember what happened to her?'' He said and Rick slowly nodded. His weird smile fell when he seemed to remember something.

''You gave me the gun, you tried.''

''What did I try, Morgan?'' Rick asked, clueless.

''You tried to make me do, because I was supposed to do it. Kill my wife Jenny. I knew I was supposed to, but I let it go.'' He said shrugging his shoulders and laughing again, the laughing turned to softly crying while he kept going.

''I was checking out a cellar and I didn't want Duane with me, and when I came up.'' He took a deep breath in and leaned his head against he wall. ''She was standing right in front of him.'' I suddenly felt nauseous, already expecting the ending of this story. ''And he had his gun up, and he couldn't do it.'' He said as tears now freely left his eyes.

''And I called him, he turned. And then she was just-'' A pause, ''On him.'' He spat out, with venom in his voice.

''And I see red, I see red. Everything is red, everything I see is red. And I do it.'' I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat, wiping away the soft tears that had fell down my cheeks. ''Finally, but finally was too late.''

''I was supposed to.'' He mumbled, his voice lowering. ''I was selfish, I was weak.'' Rick and I exchanged a look and I saw the emotion in his eyes, the guilt, that he wasn't there for Morgan or Duane in time. I offered him a comforting smile, but I knew it hadn't helped.

''Hey, your boy?'' Morgan suddenly said, turning to Rick, ''Is he dead?''

Rick shook his head, ''No.'' He said.

''Oh but he will be.'' Morgan commented, which made my heart skip a beat, ''Because the people like you, the good people, they always die. The bad people do too. But the weak people, the people like me.. We have inherited the earth.''

* * *

Shortly after that I left. Leaving Rick to talk to Morgan alone. When Rick asked why I left, I had mumbled something about needing space. Which was true, Morgan's story wasn't something you just moved on from, but I needed to do something else.

Something for me, something for my mom.

I had walked around the town for almost 10 minutes, not finding one store that could be useful, when my eyes set on the shop I was looking for. A jewelry store.

I quickly jogged towards is, knocking on the door twice and waiting for a few minutes. When nothing appeared I opened the door, raising my machete in front of me. The store was silent, dust covered the shelves and glass cabinets, so it was hard to look through.

I wiped some dust away with my good arm and searched for some kind of necklace. It seemed like there were only engagement ring so far. So I had to keep looking. There wasn't a lot left, I expect that in the early days of the apocalypse people had started to loot these places, not really knowing how bad things would turn out.

Some cabinets were already smashed, so glass covered the floor.

When I reached one of the cabinets at the end of the store and wiped away the dust that covered it, I sighed. Inside was a necklace, it wasn't on display anymore, it was lying on the platform, as if somebody had shaken the cabinet, for whatever reason. I took a step back and grabbed my gun, slamming the cabinet with the back of it. It shattered immediately and I quickly grabbed the necklace.

Removing the amulet that was attached and grabbing my mother's ring. After a few tries I had successfully attached my mother's ring to the necklace and put it around my neck. I immediately started to toy with it, making sure it was secure. Satisfied with the result.

Now I had something of her that was real, a memory of what she was like. What she had done in her life. A reminder of what hat happened the her, a reminder of reality. So I would never lose my way like Morgan had. I would never give up, I would keep on fighting, no matter how hard it would get.


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning was a weird one. Rick, Carl, Michonne and I had all been feeling a bit down about the day before. Rick and I especially, Michonne and Carl also had seemed a bit drained, but they hadn't told us about what, saying it was their 'business'. It was fine by me, although Rick seemed a little frustrated by it, he let it go.

After I had left for the jewelry shop Rick had tried to convince Morgan to come with us. Telling him how it was safe, how they had fences and he could have a life there, but Morgan simply refused, telling us everyone was going to die anyways. Rick had been pretty upset about it, Carl had been worried about his dad's reaction and Michonne didn't really care. I, on the other hand, wasn't upset, nor was I happy that he didn't come with. I was just worried about him, wondering if the decision he was making was the right one, but that was his decision to make. Not mine.

When we had returned, we were informed by the other's that Andrea had visited again. She'd talked to the Governor and he had agreed to negotiate. The group was sceptic about it, but if Rick didn't show up, the Governor took that as a sign he wanted a war. Meaning, Rick was kind of forced to go and talk to the Governor. Rick was also 'allowed' to bring a few person's with them, but the talking was to be done with Rick and the Governor only. Rick chose to bring Daryl, Hershel with him, I insisted I wanted to come along. Promising Rick that I wouldn't kill the Governor unless he'd told me I could.

As soon as we had gotten back from King Country, I had talked to Daryl, it had been an awkward conversation, but it was probably worth it.

 _''Daryl?'' I asked him and he hummed, acknowledging that he had heard me. He was tinkering on his bike or something, I didn't really have any knowledge of bikes or cars in general, so I just let him be._

 _''Can we talk?'' This time, Daryl did turn around and looked me up and down, his eyes lingering on my bandaged arm, although he didn't say anything about it. Yet._

 _''So, I know I said some things I shouldn't have said. That was below the belt, and I'm sorry.'' I mumbled. It was warm today, even though we only had a few hours of daylight left. My shirt was slightly sticking to my body and I slowly toyed with the hem of my shirt._

 _''Hmm.'' Was the only thing he said, but I was relieved when the tone in his voice didn't sound angry or annoyed. I knew Daryl wasn't really an affectionate guy, he mostly just tried to avoid any type of emotion, except anger or irritation. At this moment, it was fine by me._

 _''Thanks Daryl,'' I said and before he could process it, I had wrapped my arms around his torso in a small hug, I didn't linger and the hug was over before he could have pushed me away, but the slight tingle in my stomach had wished the hug was longer. Daryl grumbled something under his breath and turned around, toying with his bike again, but not before I could notice the slight blush on his cheeks._

Right now, Rick, Hershel and me were in a car together. Daryl was in front of us, riding his motorcycle. Hershel was driving and Rick was making sure all of our guns were fully loaded and didn't have any complications.

''Don't hesitate,'' He said, ''We don't know what he'll do.''

''Believe me, I won't.'' I scoffed and I saw Hershel looking at me with a worried expression. I touched my mother's ring as a form of comfort. My fingers playing with it and warming it in my hand. I let the ring go when Rick handed me my gun, I had carved my initials in the side, making sure I could identify it if needed.

Not even a minute later we'd arrived at some old kind of fabric or storage building. Rick left the passenger seat and I quickly replaced him as Daryl and Rick went to check the place out. I volunteered to go with them, but they thought it was best to go with just two and since Rick was the leader and Daryl was the most quiet one, the choice was pretty easy.

''You nervous?'' Hershel asked me and pointed at my bouncing leg. I quickly stopped and mumbled an apology.

''Yeah, I am.'' I finally admitted. I was so nervous I think my brain was going to explode. My mind was playing every possible scenario in my head, including the worst ones. Sadly, those were the ones that kept repeating itself in my head. The Governor deciding he was done with talking and shooting Rick and ordering the rest of his men to kill us, but somewhere in my mind, a voice told me that was too simple. The Governor enjoyed the game. This wasn't some kind of war for him, this was a game. And he wanted to win.

After a few minutes, Hershel started the engine and drove to the front of the storage building. The closer we got to the front, the more nervous I got. My heart was starting to pound faster and my leg had started to bounce up and down again. I was just scared I had to see _him_ again. His sickening sweet smile and the way his eyes glistened as he talked about war and killing people.

When we reached the front of the building I was relieved to see no one. Daryl came walking towards us and I noticed Rick wasn't anywhere near.

''He's already in there.'' Daryl mumbled, thinking. You could practically see the wheels turning in his head. ''Sat down with Rick.''

''I don't see any cars.'' Hershel said suspiciously.

''It don't feel right.'' Daryl agreed, ''Keep it runnin'.'' I decided to step out of the car, feeling the need to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. My head snapped to the side when I heard a car approaching.

''Head's up.'' Daryl said patting the hood of the car and Hershel also stepped out of the car. Daryl had raised his crossbow as he waited for the car to come closer. I, too, had my gun raised and aimed at the vehicle. Andrea stepped out the car followed by another guy, that didn't really look like he belonged in the apocalypse. The last person to step out of the car was Martinez and I felt a slight pang of fear when I saw the bat in his hand. _Charlotte_.

''What the hell. Why's your boy already in there.'' Daryl spat towards Andrea who had a surprised look on her face.

''He's here?'' She said and exchanged a look with Martinez before she sighed and entering the building.

After that it was silent between the 5 of us. I never took my eyes of Martinez and kept my gun slightly raised at him, not really believing the other guy was going to be trouble anyway. My eyes kept traveling towards the bat the he swung around in his hand, thinking about my meeting with the thing.

''You like her huh?'' He said, noticing how I was eyeing the bat. He immediately had everyone's attention by speaking up. I narrowed my eyes at him.

''How's _Charlotte_?'' I spat at him, trying to sound as intimidating as possible, which completely failed. I was slightly trembling, not only because being in Martinez presence was unnerving, but also because I was insistent in keeping my gun raised, which caused some pain in my wounded arm.

''Fine, she misses you though.'' He grinned, sending shivers down my spine. ''Care for another round?''

''You best shut the hell up.'' Daryl stepped forward before I could respond. I put my hand against his chest, finally lowering my gun. I glared at Martinez for a second before turning to Daryl.

''Daryl,'' I whispered, I knew he had probably heard everything that was going on when Martinez had paid me a visit in Woodbury. He had told me he was in the room next to mine, almost the whole time.

''He's not worth it.'' I sighed.

''It wasn't anything personal ya know.'' Martinez suddenly spoke up, my eyes turned to meet his and I guess the surprise was clear on my face because he chuckled.

''They were just the Gov's orders, nothing I could do about it.'' He mumbled leaning again the front of his truck. ''I'm sorry.'' He shrugged and I my mouth flew open. He apologized? I was frozen, with my hand still on Daryl's chest and when I looked up the see Daryl's face I saw he also didn't really know what to say.

''Maybe I should go inside.'' Hershel spoke, leaning with one hand against the hood of the car.

''The Governor thought it best if he and Rick spoke privately.'' The guy whose name I didn't know told us. I didn't know what to think of that guy, he looked like he'd never even touch a gun, let alone kill a walker. The way he eyed us, like we were mindless animals, confirmed my suspicion.

''Who the hell are you?'' Daryl said, looking annoyed at him.

''Milton Mamet,'' Milton said, his voice a bit shaky by Daryl's presence.

''Great. He brought his butler.'' Martinez chuckled a bit by Daryl's response, but Milton immediately went to defend himself.

''I'm his adviser.'' _Well you're not doing a really good job, are you?_ I thought to myself.

''What do ya need advice for?'' Daryl responded, not believing that Milton was so stupid.

''Planning, biters,'' He started but stopped himself, '' Uh, you know, I'm sorry. I don't feel like I need to explain myself to the henchmen.'' I snorted at his comment.

''You better watch your mouth, _sunshine_.'' Daryl snapped and I saw Milton shrinking back a bit, clearly intimidated by Daryl, which was understandable.

''Look, if you and I are gonna be out here pointing guns at each other all day, do me a favor, shut your mouth.'' Martinez interrupted and Daryl stepped forward so he was in Martinez' face.

''Daryl.'' I started, ''Just step back. We'll get to kill each other soon enough.'' I said sending another glare in Martinez direction. I grabbed him by the sleeve of his leather jacket and gave a small tug, just to urge him to come with me. After a few intense second, Daryl finally stepped back and I let out a sigh of relief.

We all looked up when Andrea came out of the building. We all stood up straight and looked at her for any sign of how things were going. One glance towards us and we knew enough, things weren't really working out.

Daryl had started pacing around in circles, sighing deeply a few times. At that moment, Milton stepped forward.

''There's no reason not to use this time we have together to explore the issues ourselves.'' I didn't necessarily agree with him, it didn't matter what we would talk about. Even if we got along, the Governor still had the upper hand and decide if we were going to fight or not.

''Boss said to sit tight and shut up.'' Martinez said from the truck.

''Don't ya mean the _Governor_.'' Daryl mumbled. He clearly wasn't really interested in talking, but I was curious to what they had to say about the whole ordeal.

''It's a good thing that they're sitting down. Especially after what happened.'' He said and I couldn't help but grimace a bit at the thought. ''They're gonna work it out, nobody wants another battle.''

I couldn't believe that Milton seriously thought that the Governor didn't want another battle. He had everyone so wrapped around his finger, thinking he was the good guy in this.

''I wouldn't exactly call it a battle.'' Daryl retorted at Milton.

''I would call it a battle and I did.'' Milton said, he was surprisingly calm, if you considered all the glares he got from Martinez, Daryl and me. ''I recorded it.'' He said and my blood ran cold.

''What?'' I said, turning to him. My eyes were probably wide with shock. If he recorded it, he must have been there, he must have seen the Governor shooting my mom and he _still_ recorded everything.

''Somebody's gotta keep a record of what we've gone through. It'll be a part of our history.'' He said, a bit shocked at my response. I wanted to open my mouth, tell him how stupid he was for believing that things would chance when Hershel spoke up.

''That makes sense.'' Milton immediately started to lighten up a bit when he noticed that someone was interested.

''I've got dozens of interviews of-'' We were interrupted by the sound of metal clanging and walkers groaning and snarling. We all turned our heads to the sound.

I grabbed my gun and was ready to take them out when Daryl stopped me. ''I'll go, you stay.'' He said and eyed Milton for a second before turning back to me, his intention was clear 'keep an eye out for him'. He walked away, Martinez joining him and I watched them go, hoping they wouldn't do anything stupid.

Milton immediately turned back to Hershel and started to ask him a couple of questions. They talked for a bit and I turned away, not really wanting to eavesdrop. They weren't discussing anything important or secret, but I just thought I'd let them to it.

No one was really paying attention to me so I decided to eavesdrop on Rick and the Governor instead, or at least look at how they were doing. Hoping they hadn't killed each other off yet.

I crouched down and walked as close to the wall as I could. Stopping when I heard muffled voices coming from the building. My eyes searched the wall, looking for a window. I found one pretty close and shuffled over towards it, staying low. I quietly peeked through the window, glad that it was the Governor who's back was turned to me. If Rick had look up he would have seen me, which was better than the Governor seeing me.

''-And I sat there, clutching the phone, thinking-'' The Governor stopped talking for a second, I ducked again, fearing that he had heard something, but he just continued talking. ''-Hoping I was going to see her again. I trusted Aubrey, she'd promised me that Sarah was going to be okay.'' Shivers went down my body and I started to shake like a leaf. They were talking about me, why were they talking about me?

''She was always worried about me, checking in no me.'' He chuckled a bit at the memory, ''The last time I heard her voice was through a voicemail, right before the phones stopped working. She told me to call her back.'' I remembered that, she refused to tell me what it was about, but she said she needed to call him. To be honest, I had already given up on the phones. I hadn't expected them to work still, but they did.

''And I thought to myself, what did she want?'' My back was still pressed against the wall, trying to control my breathing. I had to leave, I didn't want to hear this all over again. I turned my back to the window and quickly made my way back, glad I was away from that. I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed them.

When I returned I saw that Martinez and Daryl had too. Everyone's heads snapped towards me when they heard something. Daryl even raised his crossbow a bit, but lowered it when he saw it was me.

''Where ya been girl?'' He said stepping forward and I just shrugged.

''I wanted to take a look around.'' I said, half-lying. I did want to take a look around, just around a specific area. Daryl narrowed his eyes a bit, trying to tell if I was lying or not, but even if he did notice, he let it go. He probably did so, because of Martinez and Milton who were also staring at us.

My eyes scanned the area and I noticed Hershel and Andrea weren't here, I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

''They're talking further down.'' Milton said, who'd realised my confusion. I nodded as a silent thank you and leaned against the hood of the car, next to Daryl.

''Daryl,'' I spoke and he hummed looking down at me. ''I was wondering if I could ride back with you, to the prison?'' I asked, keeping my voice low, so I prevented the rest from hearing it too.

I didn't really want to be in a car with Rick, knowing they'd talked about me. The Governor probably did his best to make me look as crazy or bad as possible. Rick knew everything the Governor knew about Sarah's death, but I was sure the Governor could tell the story so that I was the one to blame. I didn't want to see Rick looking at me like I was a monster or something.

Daryl seemed surprised by my question but nodded anyway, not really questioning it. Which I was grateful for.

I didn't take long before Rick and the Governor entered the building. They both ignored everyone's looks and headed straight for their vehicles. I exchanged a look with Daryl before he jogged towards his bike. When he sat on his bike I took the seat behind him, hesitantly wrapping my arms around his torso.

Within seconds we took off. I placed my cheek against his leather jacket and sighed, glad we were heading back home, to the prison.


	25. Chapter 25

The Governor wanted to meet Rick again in two days. Rick was very vague about the talk, said it didn't go as planned. He wasn't ready to negotiate, but he managed to make another arrangement again.

Two days seemed to pass by, with each day everyone seemed to get more nervous. Especially Rick, he had started to stay up late, pace around in his cell. Lori had started to talk to me about it, saying she was worried about him. He'd pace around all night long and even when he managed to get some sleep, most of the time he'd wake up gasping, mumbling about 'not knowing what to do'. I'd tried to talk to him about it, but he avoided me like the plague. I figured it had something to do with all the stress. I tried not to read too much into it, but it still didn't settle well with me. Ever since we got back from the meeting with the Governor, he seemed to avoid me, which made me wonder what the Governor had told Rick.

I'd mostly spent my time with Daryl or Maggie, and spending time with Maggie meant spending time with Glenn, which I didn't mind at all. Hershel and Dr. Stevens were busy with Lori, Carol was mostly doing the laundry or whatever she could get her hands on, she also seemed to avoid me. I had no idea why she did, but sometimes I caught her staring at me, more glaring at me. Tyreese and Sasha were always the ones who kept watch, trying to make themselves as useful as possible. I had no idea what Michonne was doing most of the time, I think she didn't really want anything to do with the group yet, like she was trying to observe us before fully joining in. Merle kept to himself, being mostly in another cell block with Daryl as company. I had talked to him a few times, but they were barely conversations.

Like I'd said, two days seemed to pass by and we were all waiting for Rick to tell us who'd join him or what was the plan. I was just thinking about going to Glenn or Daryl, to see if they needed some help with getting everything ready for if the Governor would attack, when Merle came up to me.

''Rick wants us to clear out a tomb. The rest'll barricade it later.'' To say I was surprised Merle came to me was an understatement, I had thought he'd go to Daryl, or maybe even Carol. I shrugged my shoulders, agreeing with the plan. It wasn't like I had anything better to do.

Not even a minute later we were walking down the tombs, my machete was slightly raised as I heard the snarling of walkers coming closer.

''-A breach like this could be an open invitation for the Governor.'' He mumbled and I frowned, it wasn't like him to sneak in, he'd like to announce himself before he was planning to kill us all, try to intimidate us probably. Still, I chose not to say anything. If Rick said it had to be done, I guess we'd do it. Plus, he was already on edge, I didn't need to make him more nervous by questioning his actions.

Two walkers rounded the corner and we silently waited for them as they approached us.

''Why did you chose me to come with you?'' I said as I swung my machete at a walker's head. It crumbled to the ground and I swiftly pulled the weapon back and got ready to charge at the next one that rounded the corner.

''Thought it'd be nice for a chance.'' He mumbled after he stabbed a walker through the head with his weird blade thing. I narrowed my eyes at him, not believing him for a second. If he wanted a chance, which I doubted, he would go alone, without Daryl. He probably wanted something, I was going to ask him about it when a new walker rounded the corner.

I stepped forward, raising my machete a little bit so that I would hit it in one try, when I felt something hard collide with the back of my head and I crumbled to the ground, everything turning black.

* * *

A groan escaped my lips when I felt the pain in my head. Like someone was slamming on it with a hammer. A laugh sounded right next to me and I opened my eyes.

We were both sitting in a car, Merle driving with one hand. I tried to touch my head when I noticed my hands were bound in front of me.

''Merle?'' I questioned him and my heart pace quickened at what was going on. ''What's going on?'' I tried to fight against the bound, but stopped when my wrist were starting to hurt.

''Governor made a deal. Rick hands you over, and he'll leave the prison alone.'' I didn't know how to react to that. I wanted to be angry, at Rick, at Merle for doing this, at the Governor, but I clenched my teeth together and kept quiet. None of that would help me.

''So he sent you.'' I stated, leaning my head against the seat.

''Not really, you see your Ricky, he ain't got the balls to do this. So when I heard 'im talking about it, I decided he'd want me to do it.'' I furrowed my eyebrows together.

''What?''

''He wants to do it, he just can't do it. So I did it.'' A lump started to form in my throat, the thought of what could, and would, happen made me sick. I inhaled and exhaled really quick, trying to get rid of the nasty thought in my mind.

''You know he's not going to kill me, right?'' I asked him, trying to make him understand what I was doing. Merle didn't say anything, he just kept driving.

''Why did you do it? Why not just wait for Rick to do it himself?'' Merle scoffed at that.

''Rick ain't got the balls.'' He snorted, still avoiding my gaze and keeping his eyes straight on the road.

''So why you?'' I pushed him. I was trying to get under his skin, trying to make him change his mind.

''I want to be with my brother.'' He confessed, ''My brother, he wants to be in the prison. This little trip maybe it'll keep that place standing. If I pull it off, maybe all is forgiven.'' When I looked at him, I didn't see the Merle that anyone despised, that anyone was wary off. I just saw a brother, that wanted another chance. He just wanted to be with his brother. '' You got to play the hand you're dealt. I only got one.'' He chuckled

''You talk about the weight of what you have to do, how you can handle it. Like you're trying to convince yourself. A bad man, they don't feel a thing. They're light as a feather.'' I said and we were quiet for a few moments, both thinking about what has been said.

I started to get angsty. I didn't want to die yet, I didn't deserve to die like this, not at the hands of _that_ man. I sighed.

''So is this your thing, then? You take out the trash?'' I slightly grinned to myself and looked at him.

''Don't be so hard on yourself, darlin'.'' He said,

''Things are different for Daryl.'' I mumbled and Merle chuckled.

''Yeah, Rick says jump and he wants to know how high.'' He slightly laughed to himself, trying to convince himself of what he said was true, but we both knew it wasn't.

''That's not true. Rick, respects him. Needs him.'' Merle pressed his lips together, not saying anything and I saw I'd gotten to him, which made me continue. ''You could have started over, a new beginning. But you stayed on the outside. You could have gotten a new family, like Daryl.'' I said, lingering for a moment as Daryl's face flashed through my mind.

''Your buddy's turning you over 'cause he's trying to save his own ass, don't talk to me about being on the outside.'' Merle snapped and I clenched my teeth.

''You know, we can go back. The both of us.'' I said, although I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back. I wasn't sure if I could look Rick in the eye, maybe he didn't directly hand me over, but the fact that he'd thought about it or that he didn't even tell it to the group bothered me.

''Ain't happening.'' He stated his eyes narrowing at the road, as if he was trying to intimidate it. ''I can't go back.''

''Why?''

''Don't you understand that? I just can't.'' I flinched when he suddenly stopped the car. ''You go back with them. Get ready for what's next.'' He cut my bindings. ''I got something I got to do on my own.''

Part of my wanted to run away, in case he changed his mind. Another part of me wanted to stay, he didn't seem like he was thinking straight.

''I don't know Merle-''

''Just go.''

''What are you going to-''

''Open the damn door and go!'' He interrupted me and I shrank back at the volume of his voice. Quickly opening the car door and stepping out, he handed me my machete and closed my car door. Driving off without a second of hesitation.

I stood in the middle of the road, watching him drive away.

I was walking down the side of the road, my machete in my belt and my arms wrapped around each other. What was Merle going to do? I had a faint idea, but I sincerely hoped that he wouldn't. It would only get him killed. I hoped that annoying redneck wasn't as reckless as I thought.

I was super anxious and jumped at every sound I heard, scared Merle'd come back and change his mind, or that the Governor found out and decided to come and get me himself. I was also scared about facing Rick, what if he'd be mad I didn't arrive at the Governor? Would he grab me and bring me himself?

It was quite a chilly day today, although we were in Georgia. My short sleeved shirt didn't really keep me warm and I shivered when another breeze formed goosebumps on my arm.

''Aubrey!'' My head snapped up and within a second I was engulfed in a hug. At first, I froze up, but I slowly let myself relax against Daryl's body, slowly wrapping my arms around me. When we broke apart I saw Rick was there too. The air around us started to get tense and I looked away from him, looking down at my shoes.

''Aubrey, I'm so sorry, I wasn't planning on turning you in.'' I sighed, not knowing what to say.

''Where's Merle?'' Daryl asked and turned towards Daryl.

''He wanted to do something, kinda pushed me out of the car. I wanted to come along but-'' I trailed off, thinking about how determined he was to keep me away. ''I think he's planning on killing the Governor.'' Daryl's eyes widened at that and he quickly swung his crossbow over his shoulder.

''Imma get him.''

''I'll come too.'' I stepped forward, but Daryl shook his head.

''No, you just go with Rick.'' Without another word he ran away, leaving no place for an argument. I turned towards Rick and we started to walk down the road.

''Look, I want you to know the whole story.'' Rick mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

''What else is there to know? The Governor made an offer, you hesitated so Merle decided to do it.'' I snapped. I wasn't that mad at him, I understood. It'd be a way to safe Carl, to save Judith and Lori. To safe the whole group, if it had been me I would have hesitated too. But no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I'd have done the same, I wouldn't have. I wasn't mad, just hurt.

''I wasn't planning on doing it. I was telling Hershel about the deal and Merle eavesdropped and took it the wrong way.'' I sighed and rubbed my face, trying to get rid of the thoughts.

''I know. I mean I guess I know, I understand.'' I mumbled and forced a small smile on my lips, trying to comfort Rick. It was clear he felt guilty, I was glad he did. At least that meant he didn't want to do it.

''We're gonna kick his ass.'' I laughed.

* * *

 **Hey guys, what did you think of the chapter? I'm so glad that we're finishing off season 3, can't wait to get to season 4 with you guys. Anyways, reviews are always appreciated.**


	26. Chapter 26

Merle was dead.

The news came as a shock to the whole group, the hard part was that Daryl had to be the one to tell us. He had indeed tried to kill the Governor, which ended in the Governor killing him.

Daryl tried not to show it, but it had taken a toll on him. His only family member had died, turned and then died again. Still, there was some kind of weight off of his shoulders, he didn't have to walk in his brother's shadows anymore, he didn't have to take any responsibility for Merle anymore.

I was currently standing in my cell, packing my things, which was quickly done. I didn't really have a lot of important stuff, actually none. Except my mother's ring. I threw some clothes and toiletries in a backpack, some extra weapons, like a hammer and a knife and threw the bag over my shoulder. My machete and gun were safely tucked away in my belt and after brushing my hair quickly, I threw it in a bun.

I met Daryl outside, sitting on the ground and packing his things. He looked up quickly when he saw me and the corners of his mouth turned up a little bit, forming something that looked like a smile and quickly turned back to gathering his stuff.

''You know Merle's never done something like that his whole life.'' He said, not looking at me. I smiled softly at him.

''He did it for you. Gave us a chance.'' I told him and extended my hand out to him. He turned around and grabbed it, hauling himself up.

''Be safe.'' I said and gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked away. He didn't return the favor, but he also didn't pull away. I bit my lip and smiled a bit when I thought of the shock on his face.

My attention turned towards Rick, who was looking at Carl. I followed his gaze towards the boy and saw him angrily stuffing his bags in the trunk of the car. I frowned a bit, before walking to Rick.

''Rick.'' I said to get his attention and he looked away from Carl and to me.

''Do you want me to go with Hershel and the others or with you?'' I asked him, leaning against the side of the car. He seemed to think about it for a moment, his eyes focusing on something behind me. I automatically turned around, looking over at the small bridge that connected two buildings from the prison, but saw nothing.

''Go with Hershel, he might need an extra adult with 3 kids.'' He forced a smile at me, asking me if I was okay with it. I nodded and gave him an awkward thumbs up.

''Good luck,'' I said and patted his upper arm before turning around and walking away.

Things had gotten pretty awkward around Rick and me after what happened with the offer the Governor made. I tried to ignore it, but it was hard to. He was trying too hard, everything he did, he'd ask me if I was okay, if I agreed. He'd ask me one more time, and I was gonna hit him.

I walked over to Hershel's car. Carl and Judith were already sitting in the backseat.

''Hershel!'' I called him out, he was already making his way towards the car and had his hand up in a form of greeting.

''You ready?'' I grinned at him as I tried to help him in the car, but he ignored it, wanting no help.

''As ready as I'll ever be,'' He gave me a smile back and I looked at the rest of the group, who'd be going into the prison tombs. I gave them all a smile, before sitting down in the drivers seat and driving off.

We'd be going into the woods, away from the fight, so that the kids would be safe. Hershel decided to come along, since he couldn't really run with his fake leg. Rick, Daryl, Michonne, Tyreese and Sasha went into the tombs for the plan. Lori stayed in one of the other cell blocks along with Dr. Stevens and Carol. Since Lori wasn't fit to travel or run yet we thought it was best if she stayed inside the prison and we'd come and get her if things got out of hand.

We knew that the Governor was going to attack, since we didn't hand me over yesterday and that meant we were going to war.

It was silent car ride. Carl was glaring furiously out the window, apparently he wanted to come along, but Rick refused. Judith was sitting in her little seat, we'd found in a car a few days ago, she was silently observing everyone.

I parked the car a when we were far enough the forest and turned off the engine. I turned around and looked at Carl.

''You okay to go?'' I asked him and he nodded, still looking out of the window. I bit back a sigh and stepped out of the car. Carl grabbed Judith and carried her as Hershel and I covered the car with leaves and vines. I had my gun still in my holster, but it was ready to fire if we needed to. Carl, on the other hand, had his gun in his hand and with the other he carried Judith.

''Carl,'' I said, making him turn towards me. ''Put your gun back.'' I said, as nice as I could. His behaviour made me nervous, he wasn't thinking straight and could do something reckless any second now.

''What if something happens and I need it?'' He asked, although it didn't really sound like a question, it was more an argument.

''You don't think I can protect you? You don't think Hershel can?'' I questioned him and I saw him purse his lips together.

''It's my job.'' He snapped at me and I raised my eyebrow. There was a small glint of hesitation in his voice, like he knew he was wrong, but he tried to cover it up by glaring at me. I wanted to get angry at him, but I realized he was just a boy that wanted to prove himself.

''At least give me Judith,'' I sighed, ''I don't want you accidentally shooting her.'' He seemed like he wanted to say something else, but handed Judith over anyway. I gladly accept her and balanced her on my hip.

Judith was one of the few babies I actually liked. She was the quietest baby I've ever seen. She never really cried, except when she was alone or something. We all crouched down behind the car, except Hershel. He was checking out the area, looking for any walker that they might have attracted.

''Carl,'' I started and took a deep breath in, ''are you okay?'' He turned to me with a surprised look on his face.

''Mm-hmm,'' He nodded, before looking away again. His gun raised, checking his surroundings.

''No I mean, are you _really_ okay?'' It was silent for a few moments before we heard rustling behind us, Carl quickly turned around and aimed his gun at the sound. But he quickly lowered it when he saw it was just Hershel who had returned.

''And?'' I asked Hershel.

''Took out two walkers, but furthermore I couldn't find anything.'' He said as he sat down next to me with a sigh. I nodded at his words, even though he wasn't really looking at me.

Then the waiting began. None of us really wanted to talk, because we had no idea what we had to talk about.

My mind thought back to Daryl, hoping he was okay. The plan was quite simple. The group would hide in the tombs, wait for the Governor and his group. If the Governor did what we expected then they'd go into the prison, find it empty and decide to search the tombs. Which is where Rick and the rest were waiting for them. We'd throw in a smoke bomb and start shooting at them, they'd run and then Maggie and Glenn will shoot at them outside. Hopefully, we would kill the Governor in the process, but if they'd just run we'd come after them.

I wondered what my mom would think about all of this, she'd probably say something like: ' _We shouldn't kill people, they're already so little left of us. We should talk to them._ ' As much as I wanted to believe those words, she'd be wrong. I was kinda glad she didn't have to see those things. Didn't have to see me kill people. She'd be heartbroken. Maybe her death was for the best, she was with her family instead of this horrible reality, the reality she didn't belong in.

When I looked at Carl I smiled, my sister would have loved to meet someone her own age. They would have loved each other. She was always holding everyone's spirit up, even if she didn't even realise it. She was just so innocent, never had to do the things I had to do, Carl had to do.

My thoughts were interrupted by gunfire, coming from the prison. Carl stood up and started to pace around when he heard it.

''I should be there.'' He mumbled and I frowned, not sure what to say. After a few minutes, the gunfire finally ceased and we were left in silence. Carl wanted to get up and take a look around, but I pulled him back and pushed a finger against my lips and signed for him to listen.

When he finally did listen he heard the same thing I did, footsteps, and they were coming towards us fast. I peeked over the car and told everyone to keep low. I saw someone running towards us and grabbed my gun out of my holster. Carl and Hershel saw me and quickly did the same. What I realised is that the boy wasn't running towards us, it seemed to be running away from the prison. He looked fairly young, maybe 17 or 18 years old. The fear was clearly set on his face as he stumbled over his feet with a shotgun in his hand.

When he was just a few meters away from us he stopped as he saw us.

''Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't shoot.'' He said, holding his hands up. Carl stepped away from the car and closer to the boy.

''Drop the weapon, son.'' Hershel said, who was aiming his gun at the boy, just like Carl.

''Sure.'' He said, lowering his weapon ''Here, take it.'' He started to crouch down, putting his weapon on the ground. There was a moment of silence before the sound of Carl's gunshot could be heard and the boy dropped dead to the ground.

I couldn't help the sharp intake of breath that I did when I looked at what just happened. Hershel and I exchanged a worried look and when I looked at Carl I saw that he was pretty shaken up too.

''C'mon.'' I softly said, placing my hand on Carl's shoulder, ''Let's go.'' Carl's shoulders were tense as I led him back to the car, avoiding the boy on the ground.

* * *

When we arrived back at the prison, I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that we hadn't lost anybody. I handed Judith over to Rick as he slowly kissed her forehead. I walked over to Maggie and Glenn and gave them a quick hug. Tyreese and Sasha had come to get Lori, Dr. Stevens, and Carol. I gave Michonne a warm smile, which she returned.

''Glad you're alright.'' Someone mumbled behind me and I turned around to see Daryl standing there.

''Did you expect anything different?'' I joked and he snorted.

''We're plannin' on going after the Governor.'' He said, leaning against the wall. ''Ya wanna come?''He asked me and I hesitated. Of course I wanted to come and kill off the Governor, but I wasn't sure if I should.

''Nah, I'll stay here. For if he comes back.'' I said and he nodded, pushing himself off the wall and going to Rick to tell him the news.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who stayed behind. Rick, Michonne, Daryl, Tyreese and Sasha were the ones who did go. The rest decided to stay behind and help defend this place, in case the Governor decided to come back here.

We said our goodbye's again. Hoping that, just like last time, everyone would still be alive when they came back.

When the rest of us returned inside the prison we found out that Lori was doing fine. She was improving so much already, considering the fact that her belly was cut open. I sat next to her, started talking to her about everything that just happened. When I told her about Carl she frowned, mumbling something about having to talk to him.

After I was done talking, she started to talk about what happened during the attack. Which wasn't a lot. They were just silently waiting, Carol talking her out of any worries she had.

When she was done talking I excused myself and went outside. I walked towards the field, where we buried people and sank down by my mother's grave. I had never visited her grave, I was always too scared too. Scared that there'd be too many memories, that I had to re-live the moment she died over and over again.

''Hey mom.'' I said and my hand flew to her ring attached to the necklace.

''Gosh I miss you.'' I mumbled, smiling softly to the grave. ''I wish you could see everything that has happened. I've changed so much in these few days.'' I wiped my hand under my eyes, getting rid of the few tears that had fallen down.

''I'd like to think that, if you were here, you would have been proud of me.'' I stopped after that, not knowing what to say. So instead of saying anything I just sat there. Waiting for the sun to go under.

At the end of the day, they came back.

The Governor was alive, as far as they knew, but he hadn't returned to Woodbury. Apparently, after the attack here he had gunned down every one of his men and then drove away. Rick decided to take in every resident of Woodbury that wanted to join us, which were mostly old people and families, since all the soldiers had been killed by the Governor.

Michonne told us that she'd keep looking for him. But even though he was still alive, it was over. It was finally over.

For now.


	27. Chapter 27

_**Two months later...**_

''Good morning Daryl!''

''Morning Daryl.''

''You're famous.'' I joked as I playfully pushing my shoulder against his. He scoffed at me and pushed me back.

''Sure.'' He sarcastically retorted as he rolled his eyes. We were walking to where Carol was holding a barbecue with the deer that Daryl had caught yesterday.

Several people were seated on the table that we had build about a month ago, chatting with each other. The atmosphere was bright as we reached Carol, who was focused on the barbecue.

''Good morning Carol.'' I smiled up at her. Even though I wasn't her favourite person, we seemed to have set any differences aside and got along.

''Hey Aubrey,'' She said and handed me a plate with some meat on it. Then she turned to Daryl.

''Good morning Daryl,'' She said as she handed a familiar plate in his hands. He grunted as a response, which was probably the nicest answer you could get out of him.

After the Governor had fled, as Michonne liked to call it, We had taken in the young and the old from Woodbury, build a new life for them. We had fixed the fences and made sure that the prison was secure again. We now had a few children, families and several elderly. We had flowing water and electricity, life seemed to be normal again. Rick had stepped down as a leader, and was currently a farmer, we had a council now. Daryl, Hershel, Glenn, Carol, Sasha and me were all on the council. I'd asked Maggie to join too, but she refused, stating she trusted our judgement.

Carl was doing a lot better too, he was helping his dad with planting crops and seemed to be doing more and more kids stuff.

As I chewed on a piece of meat I looked out onto the field, watching Rick talking to Hershel. By the fence I saw Carl talking to Lizzie, Mica and a few other kids I didn't recognise from this distance.

'' 'M going on a run t'day.'' Daryl spoke and I turned my attention to him.

''You are?'' I asked, wondering where he was going.

''Yeah, gonna go to The Big Spot, thought it'd be worth checking out.'' He said, stuffing a few pieces of meat in his mouth.

''Gross.'' I laughed, commenting about his eating habits. He just scoffed and continued to stuff another piece in his mouth.

''You wanna come?'' He changed the subject, confusing me a bit.

''What?'' I questioned, having forgotten our previous conversation for a moment.

''To the Big Spot.'' I scratched my arm absent mindedly, thinking about it.

''Nah, no need. I don't really do runs anymore.'' I explained. He nodded, excepting my answer. ''Just be safe, please.'' I begged him and he snorted at me.

''Always am.'' He said and I smiled up at him, knowing that wasn't true at all. I wanted to pester him about it, but I saw Patrick walking up to us.

''Mr. Dixon,'' He said and I almost snorted at the name. ''I just wanted to thank you for bringing that deer back yesterday. It was a real treat, sir.'' Daryl exchanged a look with me as Patrick continued, ''And I'd be honored to shake your hand.'' He extended his hand out to Daryl and waited.

Daryl licked his fingers clean, in a disgusting way, and gave him a firm handshake. Patrick didn't seem to care at all about what Daryl just did and grinned widely as Daryl shook his hand. I couldn't help, but notice that even though Daryl acted like he didn't care, he was practically glowing with pride.

I told Daryl I was going to check on Dr. Stevens. Throughout the weeks, I had kinda become the assistant of Dr. Stevens. He had Carol and Lori sometimes, but he said he preferred me the most. I didn't mind helping people, it reminded me of my mother. She would have helped Dr. Stevens if she was still alive, so I did it.

When I arrived at the infirmary I was greeted by a few people. Luckily things had gotten a bit more quiet in here, the past few days. Two weeks ago people came rushing in and we barely had any room left. We had needed more people to take care of the sick, which made even Daryl help out. I discovered he wasn't that good with the elderly. I grinned at the memory. He had constantly wanted to walk away, but he stayed, which I was glad off.

''Good morning Dr. Stevens!'' I gave him a bright smile and he laughed as he patted me on my back.

''Good morning, Aubrey! You're just on time. I need your help with something.'' He said as he guided me over to a woman who looked around 40 years old.

''This is Amber, she tripped this morning and hit her head pretty hard. Can you check her over? I have to reset a bone.'' I nodded and turned to the woman who was sitting up in bed.

''Hello Amber.'' I said as a form of greeting and counted the second it took her to respond.

''Hey Aubrey,'' She said after 6 seconds, which was slow.

''So can you tell me how you hit your head?'' I asked as I grabbed a notebook to write the symptoms down, so Dr. Stevens could check them afterwards.

''I was walking up the stairs-'' A pause of 2 seconds, ''And tripped on the second or third stair. I didn't want to fall forward so I leaned backwards and fell on the back of my head.''

''Did you lose consciousness?'' She slowly shook her head, which ended up in her wincing.

''Did somebody already check for a wound on the back?'' She nodded after 3 seconds. Nodding as slowly as possible to prevent her head from hurting.

''Do you feel nauseous?'' I asked her.

''I did in the beginning, but not anymore.''

''Are you dizzy? Or is your vision blurry?'' She shook her head, claiming that she did at the beginning, but it stopped after a few minutes.

''I think you have a concussion, but you're recovering fast.'' I said putting the notebook away and sitting next to her bed. ''I recommend you go to your cell and rest for the day. If you feel fine tomorrow you can continue your normal routine. If your symptoms come back, stop and rest for a day.'' She slowly nodded and I offered to bring her to her cell, which she gladly accepted.

I told Dr. Stevens I'd bring Amber back to her cell and when he told me it was fine, I threw Amber's arm around my shoulder and we both shuffled back to her cell.

When I was halfway there I stumbled across Glenn.

''Hey Aubrey!'' He said,

''Hey yourself,'' I grinned, he eyed Amber for a few second before turning back to me.

''We're getting ready to go, you want to say goodbye?'' He questioned and I nodded.

''Yeah, can you wait here? I just have to bring Amber back.'' He nodded and I quickly continued walking, not wanting to keep Glenn and the others waiting. After bringing her to her cell I swiftly told her to rest and make sure to go to Dr. Stevens if anything changed.

I took a sprint back to Glenn, liking how fast I ran past everyone. Maybe I _should_ go on another run soon. I was getting out of shape. I reached Glenn in no time and together we walked over to the field.

''Oh Glenn, can you look for a leather jacket when you're in there?'' I suddenly asked him, ''There probably won't be any, but I really need one.'' He nodded.

''Yeah sure,'' He said, ''So why didn't you come today? You could be useful out there.'' He suggested and I rolled my eyes,

''Yeah sure,'' I sarcastically retorted, ''I just don't feel like it today. I don't really _need_ to go.'' I pointed out, all the while greeting a few people on our way out, it was the same with Glenn.

''Also, Maggie's not going.'' I told him, ''And I'm guessing it has something to do with you.'' I grinned and Glenn gave me a guilty smile.

''True,'' He confessed with a grin on his face.

When we walked outside I squinted my eyes a bit at the brightness of the sun. When I looked around I saw Daryl walking over to the car with a box in his hand. Glenn and I walked over to them. When we came closer we saw Bob talking to Sasha.

''Let me earn my keep.'' He said,

''You were out on your own when Daryl found you.'' Sasha told him, a bit unsure about bringing him along.

''That's right,'' He agreed, not getting the point.

''I just want to make sure you know how to play on a team.''

''We ain't gonna do it unless it's easy.'' Daryl said while walking past them, he eyes turned my way and I gave him a smile, letting him know I was here.

''You know he was a medic in the army.'' Glenn spoke beside me, he leaned with his elbows on the hood of the car.

Bob glanced over at Sasha, checking if she was convinced. When he saw that she wasn't he smiled.

''You a hell of a tough sell. You know that?'' He joked and I grinned up at him.

''Okay.'' Sasha finally agreed and I walked over to Daryl, who was already sitting on his bike. I jumped on the bike, much to his surprise.

''Thought you weren't comin'?'' He asked me and I shook my head, although he couldn't see me.

''I'm just gonna drive with you 'till the gate.'' I said wrapping my arms around him as we drove to the gate. I was surprised to see Michonne standing there, talking to Rick. Daryl slowed down his bike and I jumped off, giving Michonne a hug. I was glad she was back, it had taken a while for her to return this time and we'd all started to get worried.

''Well look who's back.'' Daryl said, obviously relieved just like we all were.

''Didn't find him.'' She told us, sounding a bit disappointed.

''Glad you're back.'' I told her, trying to let her know it didn't matter to us.

''I'm thinking of looking over near Macon.'' She suddenly spoke and my face fell.

''It's worth a shot.'' She said as she looked over at Rick and then back at me. Apparently I wasn't the only one who didn't like the idea.

''70 miles of walkers. You might run into a few unneighbourly types. Is it?'' Daryl questioned and I slowly nodded. Agreeing with him. When Michonne didn't say anything he turned to Rick,

''I'm gonna go check out the Big Spot. The one I was talking about, just seeing.'' He told him, placing one hand on his leg and the other still on his bike.

''Yeah, I got to go and check out the snares.'' Rick declared, ''I don't want to lose whatever we have to the walkers.''

''You want me to come?'' I asked, not minding the little exercise.

''Nah, I can handle it.'' He declined and I gave him a look that said ' _are you kidding me_?', but he just ignored it and turned to Michonne who'd just informed us that she would be going with Daryl.

I said goodbye to Daryl, and the rest, one last time before heading back inside. Hoping nothing would happen to them.

* * *

The morning turned into midday, midday into afternoon. By the time the sun set, they still weren't back. I wondered what was taking them so long, maybe they had to find an alternative route. Maybe they were trapped. What if the place was overrun and they had to leave the car behind?

I was anxiously pacing around outside. Maggie was also with me, sitting on one of the benches.

''Aubrey, relax.'' Maggie tried to comfort me, ''They're survivors, they know what to do when things get bad.'' Her words weren't very comforting, especially since she sounded like she didn't believe it herself.

''What if they're dead?'' I said, voicing my thoughts.

They hadn't gone on a run in a long time. It just wasn't necessary, with Rick and his crops and all the food we had from Woodbury and the small towns around them. They'd finally decided to try it again, just to make sure we had enough. And now this happened. I should have come with them.

''You can't think like that.'' Maggie said standing up from the bench. How come she is the calm one? I stopped pacing around and took a deep breath in.

''I'm sorry.'' I mumbled as I breathed out. ''Let's go inside.'' I suggested. ''Waiting here isn't gonna do anything for them.'' Maggie nodded and just as we started to walk inside we heard the familiar engine of Daryl's motor. My head snapped up and both of us turned around in an instant.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips at seeing Daryl's bike and the cars come back. Maggie started to laugh too and we ran to the gate, opening it for them so that they could get in.

Daryl was the first to arrive and I quickly threw my arms around him.

''Jesus, don't scare me like that.'' I said laughing in the crook of his neck. When I pulled back I realised he wasn't laughing with me. Instead, he had a sad frown on his face.

''Hey,'' I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. ''What happened?''

Daryl looked up from the ground and I felt my heart clench at the look in his eyes. Something had definitely happened.

''It's Zack.'' He mumbled and I slowly shook my head and let out a sad sigh. It had been a while since someone had passed away. Hell, you almost forget what it feels like after so long. It was sad that it had to be Zack, he was so young, barely even 18. After all this time safe inside these walls, you forget that the real threat is out there, that anything could happen there.

I gave the rest who was back a hug, before we all went inside. The news about Zack spread fast that night and you could hear the heart breaking sobs coming from Zack's girlfriend. I never knew her name, but at this moment I wished I had.

When we arrived at Daryl's cell, I stopped and looked him in the eye.

''You okay?'' I said, Daryl's eyes flickered to me for a second before returning to the ground, where his gaze stayed.

''Just tired'a losing people.''


	28. Chapter 28

The next morning I woke up early and couldn't fall asleep anymore. My thoughts lingered back to what had happened the day before.

Next time I was coming with them. I was glad that they'd made it out alive and I knew that they could take care of themselves, but it just wasn't me to wait around and do nothing. I couldn't do anything. I stumbled out of my bed and changed out of my pyjama's and into something more casual. I took one look in the mirror of my cell, and decided I was going to leave my hair down.

I wasn't a big fan of the tangles that I got when I let my hair down, but I liked it better than throwing it in a bun or a pony tail. Plus, Daryl had confessed he liked my hair better down.

When I walked out of my cell I saw Carol walking towards the door that led outside.

''Carol!'' I whispered as loud as I could, without waking anyone. She turned around and told me 'goodmorning'.

''You need help with making breakfast today?'' I asked her, I didn't really know what else I could do. Dr. Stevens was probably still sleeping, which meant that I shouldn't interrupt him.

''Yeah sure, come along.'' She accepted and together we walked outside. When I passed Lori's cell I couldn't help but stop for a second and watch in awe at Judith who was silently sitting in her crib, already awake, but she looked fine with staying in her crib for the time being. My gaze travelled to Lori who was sleeping, Rick was probably already up and about.

Carol had already grabbed some meat out of the fridge that was leftover from yesterday. Further in the field I saw Rick and Carl doing something with the crops. I absolutely didn't know anything about planting and taking care of crops, it was like giving me a Chinese manual.

I was just making a fire for the barbecue when a gunshot could be heard from within the prison. Carol and I exchanged a look before dropping everything what we were doing and running to the prison.

Lizzie and Mica came running out of the prison screaming for help.

''What's going on!'' I yelled at her from a distance when suddenly Glenn came running out of cellblock C.

''Walkers in D!'' He yelled as he ran to cellblock D.

''Shit.'' I mumbled, I hadn't brought my gun, I hadn't even brought my machete.

''What about C!'' Rick yelled, who came running towards us. Sasha, Daryl and Tyreese came running from C.

''Clear, we locked the gate to the tombs.'' Sasha said I felt relief wash through me. Lori was in C, with Judith.

''Aubrey!'' I heard Daryl yell and I turned around and saw my handgun being thrown towards me. I swiftly caught before following Glenn in D.

''It ain't a breach!'' Daryl yelled, following Glenn and me. I didn't hear the rest since I was already in the cellblock.

I jumped back when a walker lunged at me and I quickly raised my gun, stopping it's existence. It was a mess. People were screaming and trying to get away from the walkers. A group of elderly people came running down the stairs, trying to get away before anything bad happened.

I turned to another walkers and shot him right in the head. The gunshots bounced off the walls and echoed through the room, making it hard to hear the things people were saying.

I looked over to see Tom, a 5 year old boy, on his back a walker stumbling over to him. I rushed over to him but was stopped when a walker let itself fall on me. It's heavy weight caused me to stumble backwards and fall onto the ground. I used my arm against its chest to push it away from me.

''Daryl!'' I yelled getting his attention, he ran over to me but I stopped him. ''Get Tom!'' I pointed my head in the direction of Tom and as soon as he saw him he rushed over, but not without glancing at me with uncertainty.

I let out a yell of frustration and with an adrenaline kick I pushed him of off me and quickly stood up, slamming my foot on the walkers head. I leaned my hands on my knees and tried to calm down my heavy breathing.

I heard someone yell behind me as I saw a woman's stomach get ripped open by a walker's teeth. I grimaced and bit my lips to keep myself from crying as I shot the walker. I crouched down next to her and for a few second all I could see was my mother, lying there. Her stomach was torn to pieces and she looked me in the eye.

''Please, kill me.'' She mumbled her blue eyes boring into mine.

Then I blinked and she was gone. Instead there was an unknown woman lying before me. Whimpering as she tried to grasp onto live.

''Kill me.'' She groaned as I hold onto her hand. She was clenching my hand so hard that I was sure there wasn't any circulation in it at the moment. ''Kill me, please.''

I let out a shaky sigh as I put the gun against her temple. ''I'm sorry.'' I mumbled and squeezed my eyes shut as I pulled the trigger, the grib on my hand relaxed as she slumped back. Not moving anymore.

The screaming around me had ceased and I looked up to see Glenn taking out the last walker. I shared a sad look with Rick as we all looked around the dead bodies lying on the ground. Daryl walked over next to me and looked at the woman I had just shot.

''C'mon,'' He said, glad he didn't say anything about the woman. ''Let's check the cells.'' The cells downstairs were all fine, Glenn was up front as we walked up the perge. Most of the cells were open and empty. There were a few walkers that were already put down. Daryl walked past Glenn to one of the last cells and I turned around, ready to walk back when I heard a snarling sound and Glenn cry out.

''Get down!'' Daryl yelled at Glenn as he put the walker down that had attacked Glenn.

''You okay?'' I asked him and he nodded as he hauled himself up.

''Yeah, thanks.'' We all turned to the walker Daryl had just shot. I felt my heart clench when I realised who it was.

''Oh, it's Patrick.'' Daryl mumbled. Patrick's glasses were gone and there was blood covering his face, coming out of his eyes, nose and mouth.

''That's all of them.'' Daryl told us and I nodded, not really listening to what he was saying. I was thinking about what could have caused this. All these walkers seemed to be residents here, none of them came from outside. It happened inside.

We all turned around and the groaning sound of another walker. Only this time it seemed to be locked in his cell. Rick quickly killed it and we brought in Dr. Stevens to examine the walker.

''No bites, no wound,'' Rick told him ''I think he just died.''

''Horribly too, Pleurisy aspiration.'' I said and frowned at the word. Never heard of that. Apparently Hershel had, because he spoke up.

''Choked on his own blood.'' I exchanged a look with Daryl before turning back to the walker. ''Cause those trails down his face.'' Hershel explained at us.

''I've seen them before, on a walker outside the fences.'' Rick said and Daryl nodded in agreement,

''I saw them on Patrick too.'' Daryl told us and I grimaced, what a horrible way to die. You survived the walkers, you finally think you're safe and then you die because of something like this.

''They're from the internal lung pressure building up, like if you shake soda can and pop the top.'' Dr. Stevens explained.

''So it's a sickness, from the walkers?'' Bob suggested, his arms crossed over each other as he looked down at the walker.

''No, these things happened before they were around.'' Dr. Stevens disagreed, ''Could be pneumococcal. Most likely an aggressive flu strain.''

''So someone locked him up? To keep them safe?'' I questioned, but Daryl shook his head.

''Nah, Charlie used to sleepwalk. Locked himself in.'' Daryl sighed, ''Hell, he was just eating barbecue yesterday. How could somebody die in a day, just from a cold?''

''I had a sick pig, it died quick.'' Rick added to the conversation.

''Pigs and birds, that's how these spread in the past.'' Hershel said, ''We need to do something about those hogs.''

''Maybe we got lucky. Maybe these two cases are it.'' Dr. Stevens hoped, but we all knew it most likely wasn't.

''Haven't seen anybody be lucky in a long time.'' Bob sighed. ''Bugs like to run through close quaters, doesn't get any closer then this.''

''So,'' I started, ''We've all been exposed.''

* * *

That day we had a council meeting, which didn't clarify anything at all. Except maybe that Karen and David had gotten sick and needed to be separated from the rest. Also the walkers had almost gotten over the fence but Rick stopped them by sacrificing his pigs, which we wouldn't be able to eat anyway. We didn't know if they made us sick or if we made them sick, but it wasn't safe for us to eat them anymore.

I was sitting outside, with my head in my hands, not really knowing what to do right now. I had to avoic anyone who had been exposed, and I had been exposed so that meant that everyone also had to avoid me.

I jumped when I saw Tyreese yelling for Rick. I ran towards them just as Rick and Daryl arrived too.

''Rick!'' Tyreese said, his face full of tears. ''You need to help.'' Without saying anything he took off running and we all followed him, to where Karen and David were held. When Tyreese ran past their rooms I saw the stripes of blood, like someone had been dragged out. Then I smelled it, burning flesh. I gagged and coughed, but managed not to throw up when we arrived outside.

Karen and David, or what was left of them, were lying on the ground. Burned down to nothing.

''You found them like this?'' Rick questioned Tyreese, who was staring at Karen's body in shock.

''I came to see Karen-'' He said stopped for a second and pointed at the blood. ''And I saw the blood on the floor.'' He clenched his fist and turned around, his eyes flaring with anger.

''Somebody dragged them out here and set them on fire.'' He yelled, ''They killed 'em and set 'em on fire!'' He turned so fast to Rick that he stumbled back a bit and Daryl took a step towards Tyreese. We all saw that he was dangerous at the moment, he wasn't thinking straight and the air was tense.

''You're a cop'' Tyreese stated, ''You find out who did this and you bring 'em to me. You understand you bring 'em to me.''

''We'll find out who-'' I started and put a hand on his shoulder, but he pushed me away. Clearly not interested in comforting words.

''I need to say it again!'' He told Rick, who still hadn't spoken a word.

''No, no,'' He said, but I wasn't sure if he was answering Tyreese, ''I know what you're feeling, I've been there. You saw me there, it's dangerous.''

''Karen didn't deserve this!'' He interrupted Rick and I slowly took my gun out of my holster, it wasn't loaded, it was just to intimidate him for if things went wrong. ''David didn't deserve this. Nobody does!''

''Alright man, let's-'' Daryl started and slowly grabbed his arm. Apparently that was all Tyreese needed because he quickly turned around and pushed Daryl up against the wall.

''Man I ain't going nowhere 'till I find out who did this!'' He yelled at Daryl and I instinctively raised my gun at Tyreese, but before I could load it Daryl put his hand up to us, signalling to leave it.

''We're on the same side man.'' Daryl stated, trying to calm him down. My heart was hammering in my chest and I wasn't sure if I should stop Tyreese from doing anything stupid now or let Daryl calm him down.

''Hey look,'' Rick started again, ''I know what you're going through. We've all lost someone. But you've got to calm down.'' He touched Tyreese shoulder in an attempt to slowly remove him from Daryl but Tyreese did the exact opposite.

''Man you need to back off!'' He yelled, turning around and pushing Rick away from him.

''She wouldn't want you being like this.'' Rick snapped at him and that was the last straw for Tyreese. He pulled his arm back and brought his fist down on Rick's face.

''Tyreese!'' I yelled at him, trying to stop him but when he pulled back to punch Rick again his elbow collided with my chin and I fell back. _I'm such an idiot_ , I thought as I spit out a bit of blood. Instead, Daryl tried and wrapped his arms around Tyreese and pulled him back.

''That's enough.'' He growled as he tried to contain a trashing Tyreese.

Suddenly Rick lunged at Tyreese and hit him in the face, making Daryl drop him. Rick towered over him and started to repeatedly hit him in the face.

''Rick.'' Daryl said, trying to make him snap out of it. When he didn't listen he grabbed Rick and pulled him back.

''Let go of me!'' Rick started to yell, '''Let go of me!''

''No.'' Daryl simply said and after a few second Rick finally seemed to calm down, seeing the damage he did.

''Holy shit.'' I mumbled and dropped next to Tyreese, who was currently sobbing on the ground.

His face was covered in blood and was already starting to bruise, his left eye was already starting to swell.

''C'mon,'' I mumbled at Tyreese, unsure if he heard me or not. ''Let's get you cleaned up,'' I stood up and grabbed Tyreese's arm, trying to help him, as he tried to stand up, but when I did he quickly pushed me down on the ground again. Storming off before any off us could say anything.

* * *

That day the council decided to take a group out to find some medicine. I immediately volunteered, remembering the last run that'd happened. Michonne offered to go, but since she hadn't been exposed yet it was better if she stayed here.

''I guess it's you and me like the old days,'' I grinned up at Daryl who was fixing a car.

''Yeah, and Bob.'' He mumbled, ''Still, feels like we could use another person.''

''Who else isn't sick?'' I asked him,

''We don't ask Rick, he wants to stay here for Lori, Carl and Little asskicker. Plus, there's plenty of stuff to do around here.''

''So who's left?'' I questioned. Daryl seemed to hesitate a bit before he spoke.

''Tyreese.''


	29. Chapter 29

_''Jackpot,'' I whispered to myself as I grabbed the food that I had found in the cabinets of this abandoned house._

 _I was stuffing everything in my bag when a gunshot went off. Just one. I froze and jumped up, it sounded like it came from our camp. Without a second of hesitation I ran back to the camp, not caring about the dangers of doing so._

 _When I was on the edge of our camp, the distant voices I heard became louder. I crouched down behind a car, making sure I was covered, before peeking over it and watching what was going on._

 _My heart jumped when I saw my dad, Teresa and Sarah on their knees. Several men surrounding them, keeping them captive. My dad seemed to be in some serious pain, since his face was scrunched up and he was bending over, panting heavily._

 _''We're gonna wait as long as we have to.'' One of the men said, his back turned to me so I couldn't see him, and he pointed his gun at Sarah's leg and without hesitation pulled the trigger. Goosebumps arrived at my skin as I heard her piercing screams filled my ears._

 _''Where is that stupid bitch?'' He said and he turned around so I was able to see his face. I gasped when I realised who it was, it was one of the men we let go. The men that we caught stealing our food. My dad wanted to kill them, but I stopped him, thinking we didn't need to kill them._

 _Now they were back._

 _My sister was crying her eyes out and I saw my dad whispering comforting words to her. The men raised their gun at Teresa again, this time pointing at her stomach._

 _''WAIT!'' I yelled out and jumped from behind the car, my hands up in the air as they all turned around and a grin formed on the men's faces._

 _''There you are, we were waiting for you.'' He laughed before pointing his gun at Teresa's head. Teresa was shaking with fear as she sobbed and I wanted to reach out to my gun and shoot them all, the gun at my sister's head was the only thing that stopped me._

 _''Where's your sweet little mother?'' He joked, ''That was your mother right? The one who gave us food?'' I slowly nodded at their comment._

 _''S-She's dead.'' I lied through my teeth, trying to look as sad as possible, which wasn't hard._

 _''What a pity,'' They said, without any sort of remorse in their voice. ''I hope she went slow.'' My eyes snapped towards them and narrowed._

 _Now that I was closer to my dad I could see a bullet wound in his belly, which was why he was hunched over like that._

 _''Just-'' I started, ''Please stop this.'' To my hatred the 3 men started to laugh as I stood there, shaking like a leaf, trying to find a way to make them stop._

 _''No.'' The one man said, he was the only one who had spoken so far, which meant that he was clearly the leader. ''This is what we're going to do.'' He said pacing around,_

 _''We're going to kill every single one of you, get your supplies and walk away.'' He simply said, waving his gun around like it was nothing._

 _''I'm going to kill you.'' I said through gritted teeth, without hesitation I grabbed my gun and aimed it at them, but while I did that the man grabbed my little sister by her hair and pointed his gun at her, standing behind her._

 _''You know what.'' The man said, ''Chance of plans, this is what we're going to do-'' He let go of Teresa and stepped towards me._

''Yeah great,'' He said sarcastically, ''Now I have to save your ass all the time.'' He said.

''Pfft,'' I scoffed, ''Don't you mean, I have to save _your_ ass?'' Daryl snorted at my comment and shook his head, as if he didn't believe that I actually said that.

He turned his head to me, looking at me and I playfully glared at him. My eyes turned back on the road and I gasped as I saw a walker right in front of us.

''Daryl!'' I yelled and he quickly turned his eyes back on the road, turning the wheel as he tried to dodge several walkers before slamming his foot on the brakes when we saw what was ahead.

Hundreds of walkers, maybe even a thousand, coming right for us

''Holy shit.'' I mumbled.

''Grab something!'' Daryl yelled, the light mood quickly forgotten. I grabbed onto the dashboard in front of me as Daryl drove back. He tried to dodge as many walkers as possible, but eventually they piled up on top of each other and we were stuck.

''Can you go to the left!'' I yelled, trying to get over the sound of walkers right outside our car. You could hear the wheel spinning as Daryl stepped on the gas, but we didn't move an inch. We were stuck.

''It's jammed!'' He yelled, ''Make a run for the gaps right there!'' He told me before turning to Bob and Tyreese, ''You two make a run for the woods and you don't stop for nothing, you hear me?'' Bob quickly nodded and I noticed that Tyreese was really calm, too calm. I wanted to ask if he was okay, but right now didn't seem like the time to.

''Now!'' Daryl yelled and I pushed my car door open ramming foot into a walker that was in front of me. Daryl pushed himself up from his seat and onto the roof of the car, shooting a walker in front of me with his crossbow. I quickly swung my machete at any walker that was too close, clearing the way for the rest of the group. Daryl was close behind me as I did so.

I swung my machete at another walker when I heard Bob yell at Tyreese. Ty was still in the car, not even attempting to get out. My eyes searched for Daryl and I saw he was also looking at Tyreese, completely missing the walker that was stumbling towards him. I rushed over and swung my machete, making it land on the walkers head. Daryl swiftly turned around and gave me a silent nod, thanking me for killing the walker.

At this point, Tyreese had come out of the car and was surrounded by walkers, yelling at us to just go. I turned to Daryl and then back to Tyreese, not knowing what to decide. We couldn't just leave him there, without even trying. On the other hand, he was surrounded, there was no way he could get out even if we tried to help him he'd be torn apart by the time we got to him

''C'mon,'' Daryl mumbled pulling us with him. I let Daryl pull me into the forest, telling myself Tyreese was as good as dead, that there was nothing we could do for him. Finally, I turned around and started to run along with Daryl and Bob. My legs were aching, begging for me to stop, but when I thought back to the number of walkers out there, I forced myself to keep running.

While we all followed Daryl I realised, we had absolutely no idea where we were. At least, I didn't. Daryl was better at reading maps than I was, Bob too. It was also starting to get late, we'll probably have to stay somewhere for the night.

Suddenly, Daryl stopped putting his hand up. We all stopped walking and watched at the spot where Daryl was looking at. He put and arrow on his crossbow and raised it, aiming on whatever came out of the bushes.

I grabbed my machete a little tighter and took a step forward. We relaxed when there only seemed to be two walkers coming out of the woods. I let out a sigh of relief and stepped forward to go kill it when it suddenly slumped to the ground. We all looked up to see Tyreese stumbling towards us, falling down from exhaustion.

''Oh my god, Tyreese.'' I mumbled as Daryl and I hauled him up his feet and we all ran away as more walkers appeared, looking hungrily at us with their dead eyes.

We had been running for what felt like hours, but it was probably more like 20 minutes. I kept looking back, seeing if some walkers had followed. Luckily, this was not the case. After another 10 minutes we stumbled upon a wooden hut in the forest.

We all decided to check it out and see if we could stay here for the night. The sun had already begun to set and it had started to get dark. We all were tired and frustrated that we didn't find the college today.

This time, Bob was the first to enter the building. He had opened the door and we all peered into the dark room. Daryl slammed his hand against the door and we all waited for a walker to come out.

It wasn't long before we heard the familiar snarl and a walker stumbled towards us. The walker used to be a man, there was a huge bite mark on his neck and seeing how decomposed he already was, I'd say he had died in the beginning of the outbreak. Which was good for us, that meant that there was a small chance that somebody had found it before us. My stomach grumbled at the thought of food inside.

Daryl was quick with his crossbow and took the walker out in no time. We waited another second and when nothing else came out of the dark we decided to step inside.

''Aubrey, see if ya can find some candles or somethin' to light this place. We left our flashlights in the car.'' Bob said as he, Daryl and Tyreese walked upstairs. I nodded, trying to hide my grimace, of course I was the one who had to do the boring job. I didn't say anything and instead started to search around, what seemed to be, the living room. I did find a small candle, but that was too small to really make a difference.

When I stepped into the next room, I let out a sigh of relief when I saw what was in front of me. There was a fireplace against the wall, some wood in a crate next to it. Now I only needed to find some firefighters to start the fire with. I looked around the crates and the fireplace, but there was nothing useful for me there.

I stepped into the kitchen, started to look through the cabinets when I heard a faint sound, almost like someone was banging against a wall or something.

''Guys?'' I whispered and when I didn't get a respond I crouched down and slowly started to walk towards the sound. It seemed to be coming from the bathroom, which was located next to the kitchen. I gripped my machete in my hand as I placed my hand on the door handle, ready to charge.

''One, two, three.'' I counted to myself and at three I swiftly pulled the door open.

The first thing I noticed was the smell. No matter how many walkers I encountered in a day, you'd never get used to the smell of death. After that, I noticed the blood everywhere. The blood had already dried, which meant that whatever had happened, happened a while ago. There was no sign of a walker anywhere, the floor was empty, except for the blood. The counter was empty, but the mirror that was placed on the wall was broken. Glass was shattered everywhere.

A small groan sounded next to me and I turned my head to look at the curtain of the bathtub. I put my hand on the curtain and slowly pulled it back. I gasped when I saw what was in the bathtub. I had expected it but it was still shocking to see.

In the bathtub was a girl, probably around 16 years old, she was lying in a pool of her own blood. Her wrist were slashed, which seemed to be the cause of death. My face fell into a grimace at my sympathy for the young girl. From what I could tell, she used to have blond hair, which had been put into a ponytail. Her face was hollow and eyes lifeless as she tried to grab me, unable to do so, she was simply too weak.

I leaned against the wall behind me for support and let out a breath.

''Aubrey?'' I could hear Daryl's voice from the living room.

''Here.'' I said, cringing as I heard my own voice. Everyone arrived quickly and stopped dead in their tracks as they saw the same thing I had seen.

''Oh.'' I heard Tyreese say and I just nodded. Wanting to spend no more time here I quickly swung my machete at the girls head, stopping her movements immediately.

''There's a fireplace over there.'' I pointed outside the kitchen, walking out of the bathroom, ''We only need to find some fire starters or something, maybe a newspaper.''

Not even 5 minutes later we were all huddled up by the fire. I had my knees pulled towards me and was resting my head on them, glad we didn't have to spend the night outside in the cold.

Even though I was tired, because of the events today, sleep didn't come easy that night. My eyes kept drifting back to the kitchen, where the door to the bathroom was.

* * *

 **Guys! Have you seen the premier of the Walking Dead season 7?! What did you think? I didn't think I was going to cry but I wailed like a freakin baby! And they took Daryl. I wonder what they're going to do with him.**

 **Anyways, love you guys, thanks for all the support and I'd be very happy if you reviewed.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Sorry guys, but it isn´t edited. Hope you enjoy the chapter anyway, Reviews are always appreciated!**

* * *

We'd left early that morning and were currently discussing which route to take. When I say we, I mean Bob and Daryl. Like I said, I couldn't read maps and Ty... Wel Tyreese was viciously trying to clean his shirt in the small stream we had found.

He hadn't talked a lot yesterday, but it was clear he wasn't happy that we had stayed the night in the hut. Apparently, now was the time his anger came through.

''This is Turner Creek, so Barnesville must be a few miles downstream.'' Bob said, pointing at a few lines on the map, ''Sounds like our best chance at finding a new ride.''

''Yo, Ty!'' Daryl yelled at Tyreese, ''Come on, let's go. Vámonos.'' I rolled my eyes at his attempt to speak Spanish and turned my gaze to Tyreese, who hadn't moved from his spot and was wrining out his shit. Again.

Daryl and I started to walk a bit further already, checking to see any signs that confirmed we were on Turner Creek.

''Ty thinks it's already too late.'' I voiced my thoughts, ''Thinks everyone's dead already.'' I kicked a small rock and watched it fly away, landing after a few meters.

''Man, Ty ain't thinkin' straight.'' He said, looking around.

''Yeah I know,'' I agreed with him. Tyreese was distancing himself from everyone, letting rage take things over. I would be lying if I said it didn't scare me. People like that were dangerous and I didn't want Tyreese to snap.

It wasn't long before Bob and Tyreese joined us and we started walking further down a path. If we weren't so focussed on finding medicine, I'd taken a look around here. It almost seemed like a forest, green was everywhere and I wondered if this would be a good place to hunt, for Daryl.

I looked away from the plants when Daryl crouched down and grabbed a stone.

''Jasper?'' I asked him and he hummed in agreement.

''Good colour, brings out your eyes.'' I joked and he scoffed at me, amusement in his eyes.

''When Miss Richards went into A block, we were leaving. Asked me to keep a lookout.'' He explained, ''I'm gonna use it for her old man's marker.'' I nodded understanding.

Daryl stuffed the little stone in his pocket and we kept on walking.

After about an hour of walking, we finally found something. It seemed to be an old gas station. A gas station meant cars and cars meant transportation. I almost jumped at the excitement of finding a car and being able to get to the veterinarian college without all the walking.

''You see something?'' I asked as Daryl walked over to something that was covered in leaves and dirt.

''I don't know, maybe.'' He said and with that he started to wipe everything away, we all quickly rushed over to help him and when we saw what was under it a bright smile covered my face. It was a car. Daryl quickly went inside to try and hotwire it.

It seemed like the car hadn't been used since the beginning of the apocalypse, or maybe someone tried to cover it up, didn't want it to get stolen. Whatever happened, the owner probably wouldn't come back.

''We gotta find us a new battery,'' Daryl sighed as he climbed out of the car again. He walked over to a small window and went to clean it with his hand when a walker pushed himself against the glass. Daryl jumped back a bit at the sudden movement, but quickly relaxed again.

''We got some friends inside.'' Daryl mumbled and we all headed to the opening of the store, which was covered in ivy. I sighed, grabbing my machete and starting to get rid of the ivy along with the rest. I needed to sharpen my machete again soon, I didn't want it to get blunt.

I looked a bit hesitant at Tyreese as he aggressively started to smash his axe against the ivy, grunting while he did so.

''Hey, man, go easy.'' Daryl said, trying to calm him down. ''We don't know what we're dealing with.''

Tyreese just ignored him as he kept on chopping the ivy until he found a door. He started to pull it and when it didn't budge, he tried to open to door with his axe. It did work, someone had tied to door down with some wire and now Tyreese had broken it.

Without a warning, a hand reached out and grabbed Daryl by his shirt. He grunted and quickly pulled back, trying to get away from it. I didn't hesitate a second and smashed my machete against the walkers arms. After two chops the arm finally fell off. It seemed like some kind of signal was given because two more walkers appeared out of the ivy. One grabbing Bob, and the other grabbing Tyreese. Although it seemed more like Tyreese grabbed the walker. I figured Daryl could handle the walker that had grabbed him and I headed to Bob, who seemed like he needed help.

With a swung I let my machete hit the walkers head, stopping it's movements and realising it's hold on Bob. We both let out a sigh of relief and turned to Tyreese. He had grabbed the walker, who was clearly stuck in the ivy and started to pull it, trying to get it loose.

''Tyreese.'' Bob yelled also Daryl yelled at him to let the walker go. Tyreese ignored them and when I decided it was enough and stepped forward the smash my machete into its head, the walker broke through the ivy and landed on top of Tyreese.

Daryl was quick to grab it by it's shirt and throw it of off Tyreese, Bob sending a bullet through its head. Afterwards, there was an awkward silence. We were all panting and staring at Tyreese, who seemed like he didn't know what had just happened.

Daryl and Bob decided to go check inside the gas station, trying to find a battery. We all silently agreed on the fact that Tyreese should stay inside, incase they stumbled upon other walkers. We also silently agreed that Tyreese shouldn't be alone. How I became the one to watch over him, I had no idea. I wasn't going to lie and say I was fine with it. Tyreese had scared me a bit, we all knew what he was capable off and all he needed was just a little push in the wrong direction and he could snap. But I didn't complain and now I was outside, waiting by the car with him.

''Why did you do it?'' I asked him, keeping my gaze on the car and refusing to look at him, ''Why didn't you let him go?''

''What do you know now about it huh?'' He said stepping closer to me, his large figure towering over me. ''You the damn expert?''

''No.'' I said as I looked him in the eye, trying not to avert my gaze. ''You're just not thinking straight,'' I repeated Daryl from this morning. His eyes narrowed at me and I tried not to shy away from his gaze.

''You don't know anything!'' He yelled and I thought about telling him to shut up because of the walkers, but I decided against it.

''You people keep telling me what to do and what not to do, but you don't know anything! Telling me what I'm going through, that you _understand_. Hell you do.'' He yelled and he was even closer to me than in the beginning, I took a small step back and I don't know why but that seemed to calm him down a bit.

''You're letting yourself be consumed by rage. That rage is going to get you killed. Maybe it already is.'' I told him, thinking about how he refused to step out of that car yesterday and how he was so insistent on getting that walker out of the vines.

''Are you trying to get yourself killed?'' I questioned with shock. He didn't say anything, he just stared at me like I'd slapped him in the face. His one good eye was wide with shock and his mouth was slightly open, trying to think of something to say.

At that moment, Daryl and Bob came out of the store. Tyreese and I instantly took a step away from each other, the air turning awkward around us. Daryl and Bob both had a cigarette in their mouth and we smoking as they walked over to us. If they noticed the awkwardness around us they didn't say anything.

While Daryl and Bob were working on getting the car fixed. I walked away from the car and everyone else, needing a minute to think for myself.

* * *

It didn't take long for us to finally reach the veterinarian college. I was surprised by the size of the building, I'd expected some small building, like a high school or something, but this thing was huge. I was hoping it didn't take too long to find everything.

''Alright, let's make this quick.'' Daryl said as we walked into a classroom.

We took a quick sweep through the room, grabbing everything useful we could find. Before disappearing into the next one. It was like a race against the clock, which it kinda was. Trying to get everything we needed as fast as we could, we couldn't afford it to lose any more time than we already had.

I grabbed some pills, some liquid stuff, I had no idea what most of these things were. I only knew the basic stuff, but Bob reassured me that was I was grabbing was good and would come in handy. I was just grabbing another set of pills when Daryl and Tyreese came back.

''We got everything on the list.'' Tyreese said, who had calmed down a lot since our talk outside. It seemed like he just needed to blow off some steam, sadly I had been to one to receive his anger, but I was glad he had done it.

''What about y'all?'' Daryl asked, throwing his bag over his shoulder and making sure everything was secure.

''We got it, we're good.'' I confirmed throwing my own back over my shoulder.

''Alright, let's roll.'' Daryl said as he walked out of the classroom and to the halls.

I had noticed we hadn't had any walker encounters yet, it seemed very unlikely that there wouldn't be any walkers. Bob had found a mattress on the ground and I had found some clothes scattered around the classrooms too. I wondered where they were. _Maybe they had moved on_ , I thought to myself. But I figured that probably wasn't the case, why would you move on from this place if it was safe?

We slowly walked down the hall, following the exit signs when Daryl put his hand up, signaling for us to stop. I held my breath as I heard the familiar sounds of growling. Apparently they had seen us or smelled us because Daryl spoke up.

''C'mon!'' Daryl whispered and we started to run to the door that led to the exit. When we ran past the walkers I noticed the blood on their faces and realised they all had died from this illness too. That meant the prison wasn't the only place to get sick, the whole country had probably gotten sick from this illness.

We walked into the room, that led to the staircase, hopefully. I was the last one to go in and tried to close the door behind me. When I noticed that it wouldn't I started to curse.

''Guys! The door's busted.'' Tyreese and Bob turned around and started to help me with the door. We eventually decided to just shove some stuff in front of it, hoping it would hold the walkers up long enough for us to get out.

The door that was supposed to lead to the staircase was, apparently, closed and there were walkers reaching their hands out to us.

''I saw we open it.'' I suggested, knowing that it would probably be our only escape.

''But they're also infected! We could get exposed too.'' Bob disagreed with me, but not coming up with another plan.

''Well some of us are already exposed!'' I raised my voice and flinched when I heard to door behind me open, the door we'd tried to block, and the walkers came stumbling in. ''We have to go now!''

Daryl grabbed some a table and broke the leg of,

''Ready?'' He asked but not waiting for an answer as he broke the lock that had held the walkers in the staircase. There only seemed to be 4 or 5 walkers in there, so they were quite easy to take out. When they were all dead on the ground we didn't waste another second and headed right for the stairs. We walked up, since that's where the exit should be, only when we walked upstairs and into a new hallway, the exit door was locked.

''There's no exit!'' I said, panicking as I saw more walkers coming towards us.

''Then we make one!'' Daryl yelled and within second Tyreese had grabbed a fire extinguisher and threw it at the window behind us. I put my hands over my head to shield myself fromt the glass and watched as Daryl and Tyreese were the first to go out the window. At first I didn't understand why we would go through the window, we would only fall to our deaths, but when I climbed out the window I realised there was a platform right underneath it.

I turned to Bob who was still inside, the other had already started to look for another way out and I shivered when I looked down and saw a massive group of walkers right under us, trying to grab us. If this thing would break we were fucked, it wasn't that high if the ground, just a little bit higher than a normal person was.

''Bob! Come on!'' I yelled and he quickly jumped onto the platform, only he had leaped a bit far and bumped into me. We both tumbled to the ground and Bob fell on top of me. I started to panick when I realised my head wasn't on the platform anymore. Instead, it was so close that the walkers almost grabbed my loose hair, which I regretted not putting it in a bun this morning. I waited, panicking for Bob to get up so I could get out of walkers reach again, but when he didn't I started to yell at him.

''Bob get up!'' I turned my head and looked down to see he was desperately clinging on to a bag that the walkers were grabbing.

''Bob let it go!'' I yelled and I tried to push him off of me, but he pushed his whole weight on me, not letting go of the bag.

At that moment, I felt something grab my hair and I screamed out in pain. A walker had grabbed a hold of my hair and started to pull it down, probably hoping to pull me down too. This time I pushed harder against Bob, hitting his chest and trying to reach for my machete at the same time. When he didn't budge, tears started to fill my eyes as I thought about the fact that I might die today.

Suddenly, Bob was pulled away from me and I quickly reached down to grab my machete. I knew what I had to do to make sure I wouldn't get pulled down. With only a second of hesitation, I cut off my hair, hearing the sound of my blade and my hair connect. I let out a sigh of relief when I didn't feel the pulling on my hair anymore, only a stinging pain on my scalp.

Daryl helped me up and checked to see if I had any other injuries.

''I-I'm fine,'' I said shakingly, reaching up to touch my, now short, hair. Daryl swiftly turned to Bob who was watching me with a guilty look on his face. Daryl walked over to the bag that Bob had refused to let go and reached inside it, when he brought his hand back he had a bottle of vodka in his hand. I had almost died for a bottle of vodka?

''You got no meds in your bag?'' Daryl grumbled, looking furious, ''Just this?'' He asked showing the bottle to him. There was a long silence, which confirmed all our suspicion.

''You should have kept walking that day.'' Daryl spat out, I had no idea what he was talking about but Bob obviously did. Daryl swung his arm back, ready to throw the bottle away when Bob spoke up.

''Don't,'' He said as his hand reached for his gun. I instinctively reached for mine as the tension in the air grew. Daryl eyed the gun on his belt before walking over to Bob, standing as close as possible to him, trying to intimidate him. I was sure Daryl could spit fire and Bob, his face full of shame, looked down at the ground.

''Daryl.'' I said, trying to calm him down. His gaze flickered to me for a second and then back to Bob, who refused to look at him. Daryl grabbed Bob's gun and pulled it out of its holster, making him unarmed. For a second I thought he was going to step away and let it go, but he grabbed Bob by it's collar and pulled him closer. Bob turned his head away from Daryl, obviously scared of him.

''Daryl, stop.'' I tried and luckily Tyreese chimed in too.

''Let it go Daryl, the man's made his choice.'' He spoke. Daryl hesitantly let Bob go, not sure if he should hit him or not. I took a step closer, for if Daryl changed his mind and went to charge at Bob,

''I didn't want to hurt nobody,'' Bob said, on the verge of tears. ''It was just for when it gets quiet.'' Daryl pushed the bottle of alcohol against Bob's chest with rage, still staring him down.

''Take one sip, when those meds get into our people.'' Daryl mumbled, almost only quiet enough for Bob to hear. ''And I will beat your ass into the ground.'' He grumbled the last part. ''You hear me.'' He said pushing Bob one last time before finally taking a step back and starting to collect his bags and crossbow.

I hesitantly followed him, not really wanting to talk to Bob or Daryl at the moment.

When we got back to the car Tyreese and I started to discuss which way we should go back. Daryl was in the car, brooding about what just happened and Bob was standing a few feet away, smoking another cigarette.

''That's where I was travelling, Highway 100.'' Tyreese said pointing at the map.

''Then it will take about seven hours to get there.'' I sighed, dreading the long car ride.

''But we'll get there.'' Tyreese said, folding the map again and walking back to the car. I did the same, this time getting in the drivers seat, figuring Daryl wasn't really up for it.

''We're taking highway 100.'' I told him, letting myself fall into the seat.

''I heard.'' He mumbled and I realised he was holding the little Jasper into his hand, fumbling with it. I automatically reached out to my necklace, just to make sure it was still there. As Tyreese and Bob also got in the car, Daryl closed the open door beside him and I started the engine, excited to finally go back home, but not existed to be in a car with grumpy people for more than 7 hours.


	31. Chapter 31

We arrived late that day. The sky had already turned dark and if you looked outside you could see the stars. Carl opened the first gate for us and Rick opened the other one.

Tyreese was the first one to jump out, asking if Sasha was okay. Apparently Rick didn't know, so he hadn't paid them a visit. Rick seemed fine, no signs of coughing or any other symptoms, which was good.

Daryl and I were quick to grab our bags, while Bob was already heading inside, informing everyone we were back.

''What happened to your hair?'' Carl asked and Rick, who had started to walk away, turned around to face me.

''Uhm..'' I said and glanced over at Daryl real quick who's jaw seemed to tighten, ''Walker grabbed my hair.'' I half-lied to them, Daryl gave me a look but I quickly ignored it. There was no use for any more drama, we'd gotten the medicine and we could finally begin to treat people, things were fine. ''Maggie can probably fix it.'' I told them.

When I'd looked mirror of the car I saw it was just above my shoulders, about as long as Maggie's hair. Only with the way it looked right now, Maggie'll probably have to cut off some more. I was a bit sad by how much of my hair had gone lost, but everything was better than being eaten to death, which definitely would have happened.

I swung my bags around my shoulder and went inside, to give them to Dr. Stevens or Hershel, or anyone who needed it.

Lori, Carol. Bob and I helped Hershel and Dr. Stevens the whole night to give everyone the meds they needed and to make sure they didn't get a coughing fit or that they didn't die. I was tired as hell, but they needed as many people as they could get their hands on. Lori stopped after some time around midnight, so that meant it was just Carol, me, Bob and Dr. Stevens. Maggie had convinced Hershel to get some rest too, when I tried to convince Dr. Stevens he immediately refused and wouldn't budge.

The next morning I felt like a walker myself. I was sure I had the biggest circles under my eyes, I have had in a while. I was tired, but pleased with everything we had done that night. No one had died and a lot of people were showing signs of improvement. Glenn's fever had gotten down and he could breathe by himself. Dr. Stevens was sleeping somewhere, Bob was still up and helping everyone, Carol was currently doing some laundry. She'd acted a bit different since we got back, or maybe she was already acting different before that. Anyway, she avoided Tyreese and me at all cost, she also seemed to avoid Rick. She'd give him simple answers and tended to ignore his attempts for a conversation.

When I walked outside, I let out a sigh of relief. The fresh air was nice for my lungs. I jogged over to Michonne and Hershel who were dragging walkers over to the car. They were planning on burning them outside the fence. Yesterday night, just before we got back from the college. The fence had given in, walkers were quick to crawl over the fence and they tried to get in, but Rick and Carl had stopped them. It also took care of the number of walkers that had surrounded the prison. The fence had already been fixed and now Michonne and Hershel were collecting the bodies.

''You need another hand?'' I asked them, but Michonne shook her head.

''We're good. Thanks.'' She said and flashed me a smile, I nodded back and turned around to search for something else to do. I wasn't really planning on just sitting in the shade and taking a nap, although it did sound tempting. I wanted to make myself a bit useful.

''How's Glenn doing?'' I heard somebody ask and I turned around to find Tyreese and Daryl coming up to me, they'd moved the car, so it wouldn't be in the way anymore.

''Good,'' I smiled up at them, ''He's finally breathing on his own.'' They all nodded.

''He's one tough son of a bitch,'' Daryl mumbled.

''Yes, he is.'' I agreed with him and chuckled a bit. ''Can I help with something?'' I asked and they thought for a bit before Tyreese shook his head.

''I'm gonna check something.'' He mumbled and brushed past us with a final nod. I had a strange feeling of what he was going to do, but I let him be. I turned back to Daryl.

''Gonna check the perimeter, ya comin'?'' He said and walked away, me quickly jogging after him.

We were slowly walking around the fences, checking if everything was in good condition. The number of walkers around it had visibly lessened and it gave me a bit more rest to know that problem was dealt with. For now.

''Glad everything's slowly returning to normal,'' I said to Daryl. But, what was normal actually? Living in a prison, definitely wasn't. If you would have told me 3 years ago, I would live in a prison, voluntarily, I would have said you were insane.

''Yeah,'' Daryl agreed, ''We all need some rest.'' I nodded at that, not agreeing more. We all needed rest, the last few days have been hectic. We lost a lot of people.

''I'm glad we built a life here. Even after everything with the Governor,'' I admitted. He was silent for a few moments, looking outside the fence, his crossbow tightly in his hand. I thought he'd seen something and I was thinking about asking him about it when he spoke up again.

''You still having those nightmares?'' I automatically folded my arms together, thinking about what I should say. In the weeks after the Governors disappearing, I'd been haunted by nightmares. Everything that had happened there was replayed in my head, they started to became night terrors. I'd woken up, screaming and sweating, terrified that I was back. After time, they finally subsided, but they never went away completely.

''Not really.'' I told him the truth, ''Just sometimes.'' We'd stopped walking and both looked outside, refusing to look at each other.

I was the first one to give up and turned my head to look at him. My heart started to beat faster when he looked back. Only now, I realised how close we were actually standing and my hands started to sweat a bit. _Very attractive, Aubrey, very._

With my heart beating so loud that I was sure he could hear it, I slowly leaned in. He didn't come any closer, but he also didn't move away. I had to stand on my toes to reach his lips and when I did, I felt his lips brush mine and then-

We were interrupted by an explosion. We quickly jumped apart in shock and turned our heads towards the sound.

''C'mon,'' Daryl mumbled and ran away to the field, checking out the sound. I quickly followed after, our 'almost kiss' pushed out of my mind for the time being. My heart was still beating and continued beating faster as I anxiously ran towards the sound, scared of what I might see.

My heart dropped when I reached Rick and the others. Outside the fences, was a tank. Guess who was on the tank, the Governor.

''Rick,'' He yelled, ''Come down here, we need to talk.''

I stared at the Governor in shock, it was almost too unreal that he was here. I knew he was still alive when I'd last seen him, but I hadn't expected him to come back after 2 month. I pinched myself in the arm, hoping to wake up and realise it was all just a dream. But I didn't wake up, and it wasn't a dream.

''It's not up to me.'' Rick yelled back, ''There's a council now, they run this place.''

''Is Hershel on the council?'' The Governor gave a nod and Hershel was pulled out of a car, and set down in the ground in front of everybody. ''What about Michonne?'' Michonne also appeared out of the car, sat down next to Hershel. People with guns were positioned next to them, preventing them, and us, from doing anything stupid.

''We have to do something.'' I whispered and Maggie nodded, ''I'll go warn the others.'' I told everyone and sneaked back inside, focussing on the Governor and his men, hoping they wouldn't notice me.

When I was sure that I wasn't seen, I ran back inside. The first one I came across was Carol.

''Carol we gotta-'' I started but found that I could not form any logical sentence.

''Aubrey, what's wrong? What was that explosion?'' She asked and since I couldn't explain anything right now I just said,

''He's back.'' Before running off to find anyone else. The first person I thought off was Lori, she needed to be escorted as soon as possible, she wasn't fit to run anytime soon, apparently fully recovering from a C-section took around 3 months, and that was when you were in a hospital.

''Lori!'' I yelled and quickly ran to her cell. She was playing with Judith and making silly faces, but her expression changed into a frown when she saw me.

''Lori,'' I repeated, ''We need to get out of here now!'' I said and threw her a bag, which she skillfully caught with one hand.

''Why?''

''The Governor's back.'' I said, the adrenaline rushing through my veins, ''He's gonna kill us, we gotta get you and Judith to safety.'' I grabbed another bag for myself and started to run to my cell, grabbing a few much needed supplies, like food, water, some medicine and a few extra weapons. We needed to be prepared for anything, for all we know the Governor will give up and leave, or maybe Rick will kill him and everything will be over. But a weird feeling in my stomach told me otherwise, I had a feeling this was going to be the last day I'd be living in a prison.

I knew I couldn't warn everyone personally so I asked Lori, Carol and Dr. Stevens to tell the news. Head for the bus when things get back and make sure you have a weapon on you. Children and elderly first.

After saying that I knew I had to get back to the field, if we were going to fight they'd need a bit more gun power. When I arrived at the field I saw Rick talking to the Governor. I stood next to Carl and Daryl, grabbing a machine gun and pointing it at the Governor just like they did.

They were talking together and when I eyed each person, my gaze stopped at Hershel. Michonne's katana was positioned against his neck and held by the Governor. His eyes were narrowed as he looked at Rick, taking in each word that was said.

The tension was high as each minute passed. I kept clenching and unclenching my hands around the gun, straining my fingers, and shifted my weight from one foot to another. With one glance in Maggie's direction, I saw that she was the same, she moved her finger to the trigger and constantly removed it again, like she couldn't decide what to do.

We all relaxed a bit more when we saw that the Governor was slowly removing the katana away from Hershel's neck, whatever Rick said, or was saying, it seemed to be working. The feeling of relief was short lived. the Governor tensed up, said something to Rick and in slow-motion we saw the katana swung back and slice Hershel's throat. My eyes widened at the sight and I felt a tug at my heart as Hershel's figure fell to the ground.

Then everything turned to chaos, Maggie was screaming at her father's body and you could hear Rick yell at the Governor before he started to shoot him. That was our cue to start shooting too. Bullets were flying everywhere as we tried to prevent everyone from coming any closer, but when they drove over the fences we all tried to find a better place for cover. I was somewhere behind a car, shooting at everyone that wasn't from the prison.

My mind was blank and I could only feel anger as I shot at the Governor's men. We had fought so hard for this place, we build everything, secured everything. It was all ruined by one man who thought he could just take it from us.

I flinched when the tank started to fire shots too, destroying the prison they so desperately wanted. At this moment, all the fences were down and they started to come in, killing every one of us. I was just grabbing a gun from a dead man when I realised the bus was driving off. I wanted to run after it, yell at them that they shouldn't leave yet, but I knew that'd only draw attention to myself.

I cried out as I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder, I took cover and pulled down my shirt to see it only grazed me. I quickly pressed my hand against it, hissing in pain as I did so, and turned around to fire again, trying to ignore the pain for a moment. Now was not the time. I bit my lip as I searched for any more survivors. I could hear our people shooting, but I couldn't find any.

At that moment, Lori came running out of the prison. Yelling for Rick. I quickly tried to run to her, but every time I tried to, a rain of bullets was directed towards me.

''Rick!'' Lori yelled now running out towards the field, Judith nowhere to be seen. She was probably searching for Rick. ''Rick!'' She yelled again and I clenched my teeth, trying to tell her she was only drawing attention to herself, telling her to hide. ''Rick I-'' She cried out in pain as I saw a bullet pierce her chest. A lump was stuck in my throat as I watched her crumble to the ground.

''No.'' I whispered and in a fit of rage I shot every single men that was close to me. After I was sure there was no threat anymore, I ran over to Lori. I pressed my fingers against her neck, looking for a pulse. Nothing. I raised my gun at her face, refusing to look into her dead eyes, and pulled the trigger.

When I turned around to look for any more people, I noticed things had gotten more quiet. The gunfire had ceased a bit and the only place where you could still hear it, was closer to the prison. Here out on the field, there was almost nobody. The walkers were getting closer and I quickly killed one that was close to me and wasted no time in covering myself with it's blood and guts.

When I wanted to walk away, a figure lying in the field caught my attention. As I walked over to it, it became more familiar. I almost grinned as I saw the Governor lying in the grass, gasping for air as there was a wound in his chest, but the rage for this man stopped me from that. His eyes turned to me and narrowed as he saw me.

I crouched down next to him, feeling no pity or sorrow for him whatsoever.

''You want to know how she died?'' I asked him, although it didn't really sound like a question. I got no answer, only some more gasping as he spat out some blood.

''She died because _I_ , _I_ , refused to kill men that wanted to steal from us.'' I chuckled bitterly at the thought, If it would have happened now, I would have never been so naive. ''They came back to kill us, but there was a-'' I paused for a second, ignoring the gurgling sounds the Governor made, '' _Chance of plans_. Instead of them killing us. I was the one to kill my family.'' Tears started to stream down my face as I thought of the events that I'd tried so hard to push out of my mind. ''T-They gave me a choice.''

''Or we will kill them slowly, painfully, _or_ you can end their suffering.'' I quoted one of the men. ''Maybe, if you had looked for us too. Maybe we would have found you already, then we could have been safe.'' I said starting to get louder and louder.

''Maybe if _you_ hadn't been such a coward, she would have lived. This is all your fault!'' I yelled at him, kicking him in the stomach, ignoring that I drew the walkers attention. ''You didn't even try! You let your wife die!'' I stopped when I realised the massive number of walkers that had surrounded us. I quickly turned around and made a walker sound. I figured out a while ago that they had a short attention spam, which meant that they quickly forgot what had happened a few minutes before. Which could work to my advantage. I walked in the opposite way of the Governor, ignoring his cries of pain as the walkers dug into him.

My head perked up at the cry of a baby. I wasted no time I ran in the direction of Judith. My heart was pounding in my chest and I hoped I wasn't too late.

I rounded a corner and saw Judith, sitting in her car seat, walkers were stumbling towards her and I quickly gunned them down. I ran to Judith and grabbed her out of her seat, concerned with how many blood was on her and the seat. As soon as Judith wasn't alone anymore, she stopped crying, her big eyes staring up at me.

I pushed her small frame against me, making sure she was safe in my arms. I turned away from the prison, walking in the opposite direction.

Within a day, everything was different, we were at zero again. We had to start over. Surviving, that's what is was all about again, no more picknicks or barbecues. No more chatting and relaxing in the sun.

Everything has changed.

* * *

 **Sooo, there are a lot of things in this chapter that I'm not happy about. But I decided to post it anyway since you guys deserve a chapter. If I made any mistakes, be sure to point them out. I hope you all have a good day!**


	32. Chapter 32

Cody Estates. A small neighbourhood, big houses, fairly new. It had been a 10-minute walk from the prison. It was pretty quiet, there were a few clusters of walkers roaming around. But no more than 10 or 15 in total. And because I was still covered in  
their guts, they didn't even notice me walking past them and into one of the houses.

I was currently sitting on a couch that I had pushed up against the wall. I had done a quick search throughout the house, making sure there was nobody, or nothing, in here. Judith was crawling around on some blanket I had pulled off a bed.

I didn't believe that everyone had died. If I had made it out, if Judith had made it out. Then the other could have too. I refused to believe that I was the only one, but if I would ever see them again was a different story. Georgia was huge, and although  
we were all relatively close to each other, I had no idea where to go and look for someone.

Judith softly started to whimper and I realized she must be hungry. I dove into my backpack and searched for some food. I could have sworn that I had some applesauce in there. After another minute I finally pulled the jar out, grabbing a spoon from the  
kitchen I started to slowly feed her.

I had absolutely no idea what to do so I just fed her a small spoon full every time, hoping she would accept it. I wish Lori would have been here, I wish Rick would have been here. They all knew what to do. When I looked into Judith big eyes my mind flashed  
back to my own little sister. To the days where she would scream and cry for food. When my mom would sigh and try to teach me how to feed her. I would always refuse and run away as fast as I could, not interest in babies at all. Maybe even a bit scared  
of them.

After Judith refused to take another bite, probably full, I closed the jar again and let my head fall into my hands. What was I going to do? I was responsible of a baby know, it wasn't just me and my mom anymore. At least my mom could run if there was  
any trouble, at least she'd know when to be quiet. How could a baby possibly know when to be quiet? When the first sob came out of my mouth I couldn't stop anymore.

I was, practically, alone. I'd lost everything I knew, all over again. I had a baby to take care of and I had no idea how to.

I wanted to punch a wall, scream and kill every walker I could find. I was seriously considering it when I looked over at Judith. Calm down, Aubrey. You have a little girl to take care off. You can't just run off. I sighed heavily and wiped away my tears.

''Let's go upstairs, sweety.'' I said, grabbing the little girl by her waist and hauling her up. We both went into the master bedroom and I laid her down on the bed. I quickly blocked the entrance from the door, so no walker or human could get in and  
laid down next to her.

After watching Judith fall asleep, it actually took me a while to sleep. But after a few hours I finally fell into a slumber.

The next morning I'd decided to go back to the prison, see if there were any survivors left. If there weren't, it would still be a good place to stock up on a few supplies.

When I was back at the prison, with Judith in my hands, I was overwhelmed with the smell of smoke and death mixed together. I immediately felt sad when I thought about what happened the day before. Hershel's death, Lori's death, the only death I absolutely  
didn't feel sad about was the Governors. I gave me a strange feeling knowing he was dead. It felt unbelievable, after all this time, and there was a small weight lifted off my shoulders, knowing we didn't have to worry about him anymore. But the small  
weight that had gone was quickly replaced by the worries of my friends, where they'd gone, what had happened to them.

I hadn't taken a shower since yesterday and was still covered in walker blood, the blood providing me cover. As I was walking around I couldn't help but notice the huge amount of walkers roaming around the place, searching for a new possible meal. I held  
Judith a bit tighter and kept on walking.

The first dead person I recognised was Carol. I bit back a sob when I saw her body. Shot in the head, preventing her from turning, but not from the walkers. Her body was still slowly being chewed on as her eyes stared into the nothing. I pressed my lips  
together as I viciously stabbed the remaining walker in the head.

I crouched down next to her, wiping some hair away from her eyes.

''I'm so sorry,'' I whispered and closed her eyes, making her look a bit more peaceful.

The next person I saw was Dr. Stevens, as a walker. I didn't put him down, even though I wanted to, I would draw too much attention to me. His cause of death seemed to be a bite in the neck, furthermore, he didn't seem to have any other injuries.

I did a quick round throughout the field, but stopped walking when I saw a familiar figure. The field was a lot more empty then yesterday, the walkers had all been attracted to the inside of the prison. I walked over to the figure, who was lying on the  
ground, growling. Lori's body had been fairly untouched, one of her legs was gone, but that was it. She still looked like Lori, but then dead. The void in her eyes was confronting. A few tears fell down my cheek as I looked at the once lively mother.

Then l looked down at Judith, knowing that she'd never recognize her mother, she never knew who her real mother was.

''I'll take care of her Lori, I promise.'' I said, shaking, before putting her down.

When I stepped inside of the prison, cell block C, I noticed how quiet everything was. There were no dead people, no walkers, it seemed like everyone that had died, had died outside.

I scanned every cell quickly, grabbing anything necessary. I grabbed some knives, food, more medicine, a few baby stuff. Like, baby food, a soother, and a few toys. I stopped at my own cell, not really finding anything useful in here, but I still stood  
here for a while, trying to take everything in. When I turned to look into the mirror I realised my hair still wasn't cut straight, not that it was a big concern of mine, but I knew I wasn't good at it. I'd probably have to do it myself.

I sighed and turned away from the mirror. It was weird to stand in here, normally everything would have been hectic around this time, people doing their jobs, chatting with each other. Now, everything was quiet, too quiet. I pressed my lips together and  
started to collect more supplies.I almost sighed of relief when I found a map on one of the nightstands. Just what I needed, I was absolutely horrible with directions and without a map I probably would never know where I was.

When I was sure there weren't any more supplies left, I decided to head back to Cody Estates. I was surprised with how little was left of everything, as if I wasn't the only one who had come back here. But there was also the possibility that they took  
the supplies while the fight was happening, it didn't necessarily mean that they came after the attack.

But while I walked away from the prison, again, I still couldn't help it and kept looking back. Hoping that I'd see another living person, the living part was important. I was sad about all the people that had gone down in the attack, but I also had hope.  
I hadn't seen Daryl amongst the chaos, just like I hadn't seen Glenn or Rick, or anyone else. Yes, we had lost a lot of people, but there were still other people out there. That gave me some hope.

When I arrived back at the house we were staying in I laid out all our supplies on a sheet. We had enough to last us for about a week, maybe more if I rationed it. I should go and check out the other houses down the street tomorrow. I contemplated if  
I should bring Judith or not, I could just lock her up in the room and come back when I was done, but after weighing the pros and cons I decided she had to come with me. If something happened while I was in one of the houses and I had to run, it might  
be possible that I couldn't go back to our safehouse. Or what if I she's alone in the room, swallows something and dies? Or what if she starts to cry and brings all the walkers upon her. No, she was coming with me, at least I could help if anything  
was to happen.

If there wouldn't be enough supplies in these houses, there were only 6 to 8 houses in this estate, we'd have to move on and find a safer place. I wanted something for Judith where she could play all day and not be carried the whole day, which was also  
very tiring for me. I'd have to find some kind of baby carrier soon.

After feeding Judith I had tried to bathe her. Apparently she didn't like the cold water so much. I'd quickly wiped her with a washcloth and calmed her down, so she wouldn't attract any walkers. She was currently laying in bed, not wanting to sleep  
at all. She was just staring at me with those big blue eyes and playing with a toy I had gotten from the prison. Any time I'd remove the toy, so she could focus on sleeping, she'd start to whimper and I quickly had to give it back to her so she wouldn't  
cry.

The walkers out on the street were completely oblivious to us and I noticed that the number had actually reduced since I'd been here. I blamed it on the smoke coming from the prison, it probably attracted a few walkers.

I had warmed up to Judith since yesterday. I always thought she was cute, but right now she was starting to grow on me. I tickled her belly with my finger which earned me a really cute giggle. I grinned as she smiled at me, with no signs of teeth yet.  
I put my mouth on her belly and playfully blew on it, making a 'ppfftt' sound. As I did so she started to laugh loudly, which made my alarm bells ring for a moment, but after looking out the window, I was reassured no one had heard it. Apparently  
these walls were pretty soundproof, which I could appreciate.

At that point I was glad I wasn't on my own. Yeah, I may not have someone who could respond with grammarly correct sentences, or even a sentence at all, but at least I had someone. I couldn't imagine someone going through all of this alone. I wondered  
if Daryl was still up and running, if he was with someone or not. If he was looking for all of us. I thought of Rick and Carl, and how bad they'd be missing Judith. Did they know about Lori? If they'd gotten back to the prison they knew, did they  
think Judith was dead? I thought back of when my mom died, of how lonely I felt.

I was glad I had Judith.

* * *

 **So here you go guys! I thought you deserved another chapter. Special thanks to galwidanatitud for reviewing and thanks to everyone for following my story!**

 ****

 **Also I was wondering if any of you happen to know any food fanfiction about TWD or Supernatural? I'm out.**

 ****

 **Love you guys, have a great week**


	33. Chapter 33

''Nothing, nothing and nothing.'' I said kicking an empty can. This had been the fifth house I'd gone too this day, still nothing. The only useful thing I had found was toilet paper. I gave another frustrated kick to the can and watched it fly to the other side of the room. Judith, who was crawling a few feet away, gave me a curious look as she heard the can clunk against the wall.

I sighed, blowing away a piece of hair that had gotten in my eyesight. Glancing around the room, I figured there wouldn't really be anything else in this house. It seemed as if the owners had packed every useful thing and left as quickly as they could. They didn't even leave a car. And I needed one if I had to leave. There were a few out on the street, but that would just attract walkers so I wanted to see if there were any cars in the garages first.

I picked Judith up from the ground and balanced her on my hip. ''Let's go, sunshine.'' I whispered to her and snuck out the backdoor. It had gotten warmer today and I could feel a layer of sweat starting to coat my skin. I seriously needed a bath. I couldn't wait until I got back and cleaned myself up. Judith also needed one, discovering that by her smell. I cringed a bit by the scent and quickly turned my head, to avoid it.

The next house wasn't very far, if I was quick then we wouldn't be spotted. Also, the further I went from the entrance of this place, the quieter it got. There were only two houses left and I could feel my anxiety growing, if there wasn't some big stock up around here than we had to move to another neighbourhood quickly. We only had a few days worth of food, we couldn't pack a lot more.

When I reached the next house, the second last one, I tried to turn the doorknob of the back door. It didn't budge.

''Shit,'' I whispered and quickly scanned the wall, looking for an open window or something. There were two windows and I quickly tried to open them. The first one was locked, but with the second one, I only had to slide my machete under it and pry it open. I winced when I heard the lock break and quickly looked around to see if any Walkers were staggering to us. Luckily, they hadn't heard a thing. I pushed the window up, so I could go inside. I stuck my head in the room and checked for any walkers, then I put Judith in first and quickly followed, picking her up again as soon as I was in. The room was a small bathroom, with a shower and a toilet inside. I gagged at the smell of the room as I looked around.

With Judith on my hip and my machete in my hand, I opened the next door. Walking into the kitchen, I looked to see if there were any other entrances into the kitchen and when I only saw a door, that seemed to be locked, I dove for the cabinets. We really needed some more food, especially for Judith, she _could_ still take baby formula, but she also needed to eat regular food, with wasn't hard to chew. I still had a bit of applesauce left and was looking for something soft that she could eat.

I silently cheered to myself as I found two cans of peas and carrots. I shoved them in my bag and kept on searching. I found a few empty cans and some rotten food, but furthermore I had everything that there was to find.

I knocked on the other door in the kitchen, waiting for some walker to appear. Just when I thought that none would come out, a bump against the door startled me. It seemed like it was just one, so I put Judith in the bathroom real quick, so I could handle it. Closing the bathroom door behind me, I walked over to the other door. With a raised machete, I opened the door and surely a walkers stumbled towards me. I was quick to slam my machete in its skull and it crumbled to the ground.

I crouched down next to it and searched its pockets. The walkers seemed old, the skin was already decomposing and it didn't have any weapons on, just some credit cards and id's. I retrieved Judith back from the bathroom and slowly made my way to what seemed like the living room.

Apart from the fact that everything as dusty and there was a rotting corpse in here, for god knows how long. The place seemed pretty clean, no signs of a fight or anything close to that. Nothing was moved to block any of the doors, everything was still in the same place, which could mean that no one had been here yet.

I quickly checked all the cabinets and bookcases, not really expecting to find anything useful. Since it was the living room, I didn't think a lot of people would hide anything here. And I was right, I didn't find anything. My frustration started to grow again when I searched upstairs too and found nothing. I did find a case where a gun used to be placed in, but the owners or another survivor seemed to have taken it.

Going to the next house was easy, there weren't any walkers around. It was really quiet here, almost a bit too quiet. I expected someone, or something, to jump me any second now. The tension was high as I crouched over to every room. I flinched every time I heard a floor board creak or any other sound that seemed to be coming from outside the house.

Judith was also getting more and more uncomfortable as the time went on. She was starting to struggle against my hold and trying to wriggle out of me arms, making whimpering sounds as she did. With a sigh I put her down on the ground, my eyes flickering to her and to the rest of the room. Now I wasn't holding Judith anymore, I held my machete in my left hand and my gun in my right. My guard was even more up, since I not only had to look out for myself, but I also had to check out the room so Judith wouldn't get attacked.

My instinct screamed for me to keep holding her, to not let her wander around the house. But I knew that if I refused to put her down she would start to cry and yell, that'd definitely be our deaths.

I let out a yell when I opened a door, which was apparently the broomcloset, and a walker lunged at me. We both fell to the ground and my head hit the floor pretty hard. A bit dizzy because of the blow I forced my arm to push against the walkers chest, keeping his teeth away from me.

When everything became a bit more clear I grabbed my machete and plunged it in the side of its head. It immediately stopped moving and I pushed the body away from me. With a sigh I stood up, trying to keep my balance, when a I heard Judith cry. Without a second of hesitation I ran towards the sound and saw a walkers dragging its upper body towards her. It had almost reached her feet and by the time I reached her she would already be dead. So I grabbed my gun and aimed it at the walkers head, trying to ignore Judith's cries. Without a second of hesitation I fired twice, making sure I had hit the head.

I unsteadily ran towards her, still a bit dazed from the blow to my head, and smashed my boot on the walkers head multiple times, just to be sure. Blood spattered everywhere, but for now I didn't care.

When there wasn't a lot left of the walkers head I finally stopped. My hands were positioned on my knees and I was slightly bend over as I panted. Judith cries snapped me out of my daze and I quickly picked her up, balancing her on my hip.

The groans of several walkers could be heard outside the house and I cursed

''We gotta get out of here.'' I whispered more to myself than to Judith. I tried to soothe Judith as I picked up the bag that had dropped while fighting of the walker. I was glad I had decided to bring the bag with me, since we only had one, and I was sure that we weren't able to go back to our safe house now. Which also reminded me how relieved I was that I had brought Judith with me, even though her crying, and my gunshot, was probably the reason why the walkers had realized somebody was in here.

''Hey,'' I said, in a baby voice, to Judith, ''Hey, little cutie,'' I whispered trying to be as soothing as possible. ''It's okay, it's over.'' I said as I embraced her in a, maybe a bit awkward, hug. She was still hiccuping and whimpering, but it was enough for me and Judith and I left out the window again. Thank god that almost all the walkers were at the front door, which gave us an easy escape.

I ran until the house could barely be seen and even then, I didn't dare to stop, but my legs were giving out on my and I had to rest for a second. This time, Judith hadn't tried to wriggle out of my grasp. Instead, she clung onto me, I wanted to think that she did it because she was glad I was here.

I let myself fall on the ground, trying to control my racing heart. With my back on the ground I closed my eyes for a second, feeling Judith play around with my fingers.

Where to go next? I wasn't familiar around here and had no idea where the next town was. I opened my eyes again and searched around my bag until I found the map that I had gotten yesterday.

My eyes trailed over the map until I found the place where I currently was. The next real town as about two hours away, with probably a few houses and maybe stores on the highway. An idea popped up in my head as I saw a familiar town. Macon, that was where Michonne wanted to go when she was still looking for... him. There were supposed to be a lot of supplies and if Michonne was anywhere logical, she would be there. My heart ached at the thought of seeing a familiar face, a _friendly_ familiar face.

And who knows? If Michonne was indeed going towards Macon, maybe she was with the others, or maybe I wasn't the only one who thought that was the logical place to be. Maybe others were heading to Macon too. I folded my map back up, having found some hope, and returned it in my bag.

''Let's go Judith,'' I said up the little girl who had been playing with a little patch of grass. We started walking again, or I started walking again.

Headed for Macon.


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey guys! I thought you deserved a chapter. Also, this is what I imagine Aubrey's hair looks like now:** **/image/3524595/**

 **I hope this works, I've had this photo on my computer for a while now and for some reason I couldn't find it on google anymore, but I finally found it on someone's blog.. I think?**

* * *

 _ **2 days later somewhere outside Forsyth...**_

Judith was placed in the baby carrier, I had found in a house, currently sleeping against my chest. My knife was raised, ready to strike if anything happened. This was the second house I'd been to and so far I'd had no luck at all. Someone had been here before me, picking the place clean. The only useful thing I had found in the other house was a toothbrush, not even toothpaste.

I seriously needed some more food, I only had about a days worth left. Food had been surprisingly harder to come by. Even though more than half of the population had been wiped out, it seemed like everywhere I have been, someone had already grabbed everything, leaving maybe a can or two.

I knocked on the open kitchen door a few times, waiting for any walker to come out. I waited for a minute and when nothing came out, I walked in. My guard was up while I tried to be as quiet as I could, not wanting to wake Judith or anything else that lingered around here.

When I reached the kitchen I quickly raided the cupboards, most of it was already covered in mold and I tried my best not to throw up at the smell. I'll never get used to these things.

I did found a can of beans, which I was glad of. Now I just needed some formula, also some soap or deodorant wouldn't sound so bad. I grimaced when I realized I had to bathe Judith tonight, since kids were fare more sensitive to illnesses keeping her clean was a bigger priority then keeping myself clean. Although most of the time she hated bathing, which ended in her screaming loudly and in me trying to calm her down while looking out for any walkers. It'd surprised me that we weren't dead yet.

When I covered the rest of the house the only useful thing I'd found was a bottle of shampoo, which wasn't really useful at all since Judith didn't have a lot of hair and it wasn't like I would be the one to wash my hair. I sighed when I touched my hair, which was currently thrown up into a short bun. My hair was going to be hell if I ever had a chance to wash it again.

I though back to when I tried to save Michonne for the first time and there had been a walker, grabbing my ponytail from behind. Daryl had given me hell for it at the end, I'd give anything to see Daryl yell at me right now. Just to see him.

I wondered if he was still alive, if anyone was still alive. I hoped they made it out safely. I shook my head when I thought back to that day, I didn't want to think back to that day. There wasn't anything I could do about it now. It happened, wishing things had gotten different wouldn't help me in the slightest.

When I walked out of the house I looked around me, searching for anything unusual. When I couldn't find anything I walked out on the street, trying to decide which house I should go to. The house on my right seemed like there wouldn't be a lot left. The windows were all broken and there was some blood on the walls.

There were about a dozen walkers stumbling around the streets, luckily they hadn't noticed me yet. I just had to be quiet. As if somebody had it out for me, Judith started to cry. I looked down to see her face turning red with all the crying and I panicked. What do I do? I looked around, trying to find a house to hide in, when all of a sudden more walkers appeared. Where the hell did they come from?

There had to be at least twenty walkers heading towards us right now so I made a run for it to a boarded up house. If there was an opening here somewhere I could come in and quickly board it up again. Hoping the Walkers would find something else of interest. I tried to turn the doorknob but I noticed it was locked.

''Of course. Shit, Shit. SHIT!'' I yelled the last word and walked around the house, trying to ignore the walkers coming closer. I found a back door and hesitated for a few moments before deciding I should kick the door down. Just standing here sure as hell wasn't going to help me. I raised my boot and slammed it down on the door. Except a creaking sound coming from it, it didn't do anything. With another groan I kicked again.

After another two kicks the lock finally broke and I hurried inside, slamming the door closed behind me. Looking around to find an object that could block the door and prevent walkers from coming in. My eyes fell on a couch behind me and I grabbed it and pushed it against the door. That should hold, at least for a while.

I quickly took Judith out of the carrier, who was still crying, and started to sooth her.

''Judith, hey, it's okay.'' I lifted her so that she saw my face and started to stick my tongue out at her, making silly faces. After a few attempts she finally quieted down, her crying subsiding to soft hiccups. I placed her against my chest and patted her head. I had no idea how I did it, but I did it. Despite my bad relationships with baby's in general, I had to admit that I had gotten good in baby-sitting, as I liked to call it.

I jumped when I heard walkers pounding against the windows and doors.

''We're safe,'' I whispered more to myself than to Judith, ''We're safe.'' I still patted Judith's head, keeping my eyes trained on the door in front of me, my gun placed in my right hand.

Right at that moment I heard the cocking of a gun and in a matter of seconds I could feel the barrel against the back of my head. I held my breath as my heart starting to race against my ribs and I glanced down at Judith who didn't seem to be noticing the sudden chance in atmosphere.

''Drop your weapons.'' A female voice behind me said. I froze when I heard it, the familiar sound filling my ears. I slowly did as she said. The voice sounded stern and didn't shake, clearly ready to kill me if necessary.

''You idiot! You've gotten us killed, you've gotten _me_ killed!'' She said, frustration clear in her voice. I slowly put Judith down and my hands up, not wanting to seem like a threat to her, and turned around. Hoping I'd see the face that matched the voice.

''Olivia.'' I whispered as a lump started to form in my throat and my hands started to shake. I couldn't believe it. My heart was pounding in my chest and took a deep breath, as I started at the familiar figure in front of me.

Olivia's eyes widened when she saw me and she lowered her gun. Her tense posture slowly relaxed as she took me in. Eyeing me up and down.

She looked exactly the same as when we last saw each other. Her brown hair was pulled into a ponytail and a few freckles still coated her face. The only difference was the enthusiasm in her blue eyes seemed to have disappeared and there were dark circles under her eyes. I can't imagine me looking any different then her.

''Oh my god, Aubrey.'' She said and I quickly wrapped my arms around my best friend. We were both crushing each other and I let out a shaky laugh, leaning my head on her shoulder. She was slightly taller than me, which made me stand on my toes as I hugged her.

''I never expected to- I thought that-'' I stuttered, not able to form a normal sentence, as I backed away from the hug. Olivia chuckled softly to herself.

''Me too.'' She said smiling slight, then she turned towards the toddler on the ground, raising an eyebrow.

''Since when do you have a baby?'' She asked, pointing at the tiny human on the ground.

''She's not mine. Her mother eh-'' I pressed my lips together, not being able to form the sentence. Olivia frowned for a few second, but she seemed to understand and slowly nodded.

''Oh, well let's go upstairs. We're safe there.'' I looked back at the door behind us and quickly picked up Judith, taking her word for it.

We both darted up the stairs and went into the master bedroom, which was at the front part of the house, she quickly closed the door after me and made sure to lock it.

My eyes gazed over the room, noticing that she had far more supplies than I did, and I had Judith with me. She had a small pile of canned food and a small stack of toilet paper. Next to both piles was a backpack, that looked pretty full. That was probably the reason why I couldn't find anything in the houses, she'd raided them and got whatever was left.

Olivia didn't pay any attention to me as she started to rummage around in her backpack,

''I know I have it here somewhere.'' She mumbled to herself and I took a step forward, curious to what she was doing.

''Liv, what-'' I started but startled me when she let out a loud ''Ha!'' She jumped up and had a big smile on her face as she showed me what she was holding. In her hand was a small airhorn and I immediately grinned as we were thinking the same thing.

''I've got some duct tape.'' I said, now it was my turn to look around my bag and search for the duct tape. I came across a small toy and gave it to Judith so she had something to play with, a moment later I had the duct tape in my hand and I ripped a piece off, handing it to Olivia.

''You ready?'' She said and I slowly nodded, cupping Judith's ears with my hands. I was silently praying that the loud sound wouldn't make Judith cry and gave a small nod to Liv, signaling that she could start.

She wrapped the tape around the airhorn, making it wail like crazy and threw it out the window, as far away as possible. After that she quickly closed the window, shutting out the sound a bit. I removed my hands from Judith's ears as she started at me with a wide eyed expression. I almost laughed at her shocked face, but contained myself and turned to Olivia, who was looking out the window.

My eyes checked the room again, amazed by the variety of stuff she had. I almost gasped as my eyes landed on a specific object. ''You have your combound bow?'' I said surprised and she grinned and nodded. ''Yeah, quickly got it before the shit hit the fan.'' Liv had always been a fan of archery and when she turned twelve her parents allowed her to take lessons. 10 years later she could be considered a pro and she had her own bow.

I stood next to her and watched the walkers surround the airhorn. They're so stupid.

''We have a lot of catching up to do.'' I said, keeping my gaze on the street and not looking at her. The walkers around our house had walked away, but the noise also attracted walkers that were about a mile away. Which would make it even harder to get away tomorrow. That did make me turn to Olivia, was she going to come with us? If she didn't want to, would I stay with her? I didn't really think I had the heart to leave her. We lost each other once and I wasn't planning on losing her again.

''Are you heading somewhere right now?'' I asked her and after a few moments of hesitation she slowly shook her head.

''Are you alone?'' I asked her before she could explain anything, it seemed very unlikely that someone with this many food was alone, but I hadn't seen anybody else and it didn't seem like there was another person.

''Yes.'' She said, her voice sounding a bit strange.

It had gotten pretty quiet after that, the only sound was Judith silently blabbering to herself. I realized I didn't really know Olivia anymore, we used to know every little thing about each other, but the apocalypse changes you and I had to get to know her all over again.

It was only when we were having dinner that Olivia spoke up again.

''What happened to you?'' She asked, shoving another spoonful of beans in her mouth, cringing a bit as she did so. I remembered how she always despised beans, she sometimes even refused to eat them. ''With your family I mean, did you join a group?''

I awkwardly scratched my neck, not knowing what to tell her and what not to tell her. But I quickly reminded myself that this was Olivia we were talking about, I could tell her everything. So I did. I told her everything that had happened to my dad and Teresa, and to my mother. About the group I was with until a week ago and how I was planning to go to Macon to see if they were there.

''-Do you want to come with me to Macon?'' I asked, feeling the awkwardness slowly fade away the longer we were together.

''Definitely.'' She told me after a few second of thinking about it, ''I have been alone for quite some time, I'm ready for a change.'' She smiled and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, relieved that she wanted to come with me.

''Good, I'm glad.''

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 **So... Let me know what you think! And have a nice day.**


	35. Chapter 35

_''Aubrey,'' Daryl said, shaking my shoulders as he tried to make me understand. ''C'mon we have to go.'' His eyes were wide with panic as he gripped my shoulders tighter, hurting them a bit. I wanted to nod at him and run away but my body couldn't move. It was as if he was talking to a dead body._

 _''C'mon!'' I yelled, when he looked around I found my eyes doing the same. Leaving his face and turning to look at our surroundings. Walkers were surrounding us and coming closer by the second. ''Dammit woman! I'm not leaving you!'' He grabbed my wrist and started to pull me with him, but it was already too late. The walkers were too close and attacked Daryl, sinking their teeth into his flesh. That seemed to flip a switch in my brain as I reached out the catch his falling body._

 _''Daryl!'' I yelled at him, the roles now reversed. There was a huge chunk out of the crook of his neck and he was groaning in pain. ''Daryl, we gotta go!'' I tried to pull him up, but he would just fall down again. His eyes were open and he stared at me in shock._

 _''Wake up!'' He suddenly yelled and I frowned, wake up? ''Dammit woman wake up!''_

My eyes flew open, only to be met with the barrel of a gun in my face.

''Finally, you're awake!'' I heard an unfamiliar voice say and I looked away from the barrel to see a female who seemed to be around the same age as me. My thoughts instantly went to Judith.

''Where is she?'' I growled, my eyes narrowing at the woman. I looked to my left and saw Olivia in the same position as me, on her knees and a gun pointed at the back of her head. She didn't look scared at all, instead if looks could kill, they'd be dead right now.

''Who?'' The woman asked sarcastically, clearly knowing who I was talking about.

''The little girl.'' I said, my voice very low. I swear to god if they'd hurt Judith.

''Oh this little girl?'' She asked as she turned around, her gun still pointing at me face. For a second I was considering taking her out, but if she had Judith she could hurt her and I didn't know how many were here at the moment. Right now I only saw two, the woman in front of me and the man behind Olivia.

The gun against my head was removed and instead placed on Judith, who was now in the woman's hand. I immediately tensed up and put my hands in the air.

''Just let her go.'' I said, trying to show her I surrendered ''Why are you even here?''

''We need supplies.'' She simply said and nodded to the man, he stepped away from Olivia and started to raid our stuff, mostly Olivia's stuff since she was the one who had the most. I sincerely hoped that Olivia wouldn't do anything, the Olivia I knew would never try something if Judith's life was at stake, but with this Olivia I wasn't so sure.

I glanced over at her and I felt relieved when she just stared the man down. She didn't look like she was planning to do anything and when her gaze turned to me she slowly shook her head, signaling that she, indeed, wasn't going to do anything.

''If you don't do anything stupid, we won't have to kill the baby and we just walk away without any problems.'' She still said and turned to the man who had just picked up Liv's compound bow.

''I want the bow, I claim it.'' She said to the man who just nodded and mumbled a 'sure', but next to me Olivia was starting to get furious.

''No.'' She stated, ''You can take everything, but not the bow.'' The woman just laughed at her comment.

''Yeah, sure.'' She laughed it off and I noticed Liv clenching her fists in the air, as if she was containing herself from doing something 'stupid', as the woman had said. ''You ready?'' She said turning to the man who seemed about done with stealing our stuff. When I looked at the spot where all our supplies used to be the only thing that could be seen was an empty corner.

''Yeah, let's go.'' The man said. Swinging his, now full, backpack over his shoulder.

''Wait!'' I stopped them, ''You can't just steal all our stuff. You'd just leave us to die. We have a baby.'' I said nodding towards Judith, my hands still raised in the air.

The woman exchanged a look with the man. The look on her face told us she wasn't happy with the idea, but she gave in anyway. ''Fine, here is a can for the baby.'' The woman sighed and put it down in front of her. ''We also left the baby stuff in your bag so she'll live. Be happy we left you a can.'' She said, as if we should be grateful.

''Fuck you.'' Olivia spoke up, spatting out the words and the woman cocked her gun against Judith's temple, ''You want me to kill her _now_?'' She dared us and Olivia instantly pressed her lips together, keeping quiet but her eyes were flaming.

The couple slowly walked to the backdoor, still holding Judith in her arms and the gun still pressed against her temple. The man opened the door and stepped outside, the woman quickly placed Judith down and stepped outside too, closing the door after her.

I darted to Judith as soon as the door closed and picked her up. Luckily she wasn't crying and didn't even seem to realize what had just happened. I turned back to Olivia who had started to pace around in rage.

''What happened before I woke up?'' I asked her, trying to contain the rising panic in my chest.

''I was walking around, counting our supplies and watching the kid.'' She said pointing at Judith in my arms, ''And before I knew it two guns were pointed at me, telling me to kneel and they stripped me from my weapons.'' My eyes widened when I realized they hadn't stripped me from any weapons. My hand reached towards my belt and I found that my gun wasn't in its holster anymore. Olivia followed my movement and sighed.

''They took your gun when you were sleeping, but they left your machete. They also left my knife.'' She sighed again and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. ''What are we gonna do now?'' She said, her voice raising. ''They got everything! We have nothing!'' Suddenly she turned to the ground and her eyes found the can on the ground.

''Except for this piece of shit!'' She yelled kicking the can and we both watched it fly a few meters away. I grabbed my bag and watched what was left. The woman had spoken the truth, they had left the baby stuff in their, but everything else was gone. I sighed, grabbing the baby carrier and put it on, placing Judith in it before my arms got tired.

''I guess we'll have to head for Macon, right now.'' I said to her and she stopped her pacing and turned to me.

''I guess so.'' She agreed with me and looked out the window. ''We need to hot wire a car.'' She mumbled, more to herself than to me. I frowned, I had absolutely no idea how to hot wire a car, I had seen Daryl do it several times and right now I felt pretty stupid that I'd never asked about it. I silently prayed that Olivia knew how to it, otherwise we'd be fucked.

''Do you have a car?'' I asked her and she turned back to me.

''Yeah I do, it has enough gas for at least 10 miles.'' I nodded, that should be enough until we found some more. Macon was maybe another 30 miles, 25 if we were lucky. My fingers anxiously played with my hair as we both thought about a plan.

''Who gets the car?'' Olivia asked, but we both knew who was going to get the car. I was going to watch Judith and pack whatever was left and Olivia was going to get the car, she also knew which car it was and I had no clue how to hot wire so it was only logical if Olivia was going outside.

Not even five minutes later, Olivia had left in search of the vehicle. The walkers had spread out a bit more since yesterday and I hoped that Liv would get through this without getting noticed. Judith was sleeping in the baby carrier, she hadn't really slept a lot yesterday, whileI was slowly packing everything up. Not that there was a lot left to pack. They'd left the map, a can of peas, and the baby stuff.

''This is so fucked up.'' I sighed to myself, things couldn't possibly get any worse. Apparently I spoke too soon because not even 10 minutes later, Olivia came running through the front door, making an awful lot of noise

''They took it.'' She said, her whole body was coated in sweat and she was panting, she obviously had to run the way back. ''They took the freakin' car!'' She looked about ready to cry and there seemed to be a lump in her throat as she spoke.

''We have to walk.'' I said, even though it sounded more like question. Olivia slowly nodded and I realized how tired she looked.

''We'll get through this.'' I said and she mindlessly nodded. At first I thought she hadn't heard me, or at least didn't believe me. But after a few seconds a small smile formed on her face.

''Like we always do.''

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 **So... What do you think is going to happen? What do you think about Olivia? She's actually inspired by a friend of mine who reads this story, so I hope she likes Olivia too XD**


	36. Chapter 36

''There,'' Olivia said and crouched down. I quickly followed her lead and dropped to my knees behind a bush. Several walkers were stumbling a few feet further and close to that, was a house. It was next to the road and I was sure that a few feet away were train tracks.

It was one of the first houses we'd come across in a while. We were hungry and tired, we needed a rest. All the food that we found had gone to Judith, the leftovers had gotten to us. We were waiting for rain so we could fill up our bottles and finally have some water.

It had been the third day since we got robbed from all our supplies. I thought I had gotten through some tough times, but this was by far the worst. I had lost the few pounds of weight I had gained at my time in the prison. I was amazed at how much weight you could lose in a week. Even though my condition had gotten pretty good in the last 2 years, because of my lack of nutrition and hydration, I constantly needed to rest and I couldn't run for more than 20 minutes.

We both could use some food and a good night's sleep. Olivia had had dark circles under her eyes and we were both visibly weaker than when we met.

''Are we gonna sneak past them?'' I asked, glancing down at Judith in the baby carrier. She was slowly looking around, taking in her surroundings,

''We can't take them.'' Liv sighed, I nodded slowly. I looked at the walkers, most of them were on the highway, so if we just walked around it then we wouldn't be seen. There were only around 5 walkers, but we just couldn't take the chance right now. My eyes suddenly fell on a glass bottle about a feet away, and idea popped up in my head and I slowly crept towards it.

''Aubrey, what the hell are you doing?'' She angrily whispered to me, not seeing the bottle. If I had to grab the bottle I had to step into the sight of walkers, I had to be quick and silent so I just put my finger against my lips and took another step.

When I almost reached the bottle, I looked up, trying to see if any of the mindlessly roaming walkers had seen me. Fortunately, they hadn't. In one swift movement I had grabbed the bottle and I quickly made my way back to Olivia, my heart pounding in my chest as I did.

When I held up the bottle she grinned and gave me a thumbs up.

''Do you want to throw it?'' I asked her, she had stronger arms then me, I blamed it on her years of archery. She nodded and swung her arm back, throwing the bottle away. It landed a bit closer to the house then I would have liked, but the plan worked and the walkers turned around and followed the noise, their groans excited as they expected a meal.

''Let's go.'' I mumbled and we both took off towards the house.

Fortunate for us, the doors weren't locked and we quickly stepped inside. Olivia closed the door behind her and locked it.

''Thank god that worked.'' I said, a bit louder now that we were inside.

''You can say that again, I think that was the first time something went so smooth.'' I nodded at Liv's statement. It seemed like everywhere we went, bad luck followed us. Mostly walkers chased us away again. Judith would cry and we had to run, there would be no food and we had to search for another place. It was tough, but I couldn't express how glad I was that I wasn't alone. Even though these days had been one of the hardest, having Olivia here made it all do-able. We supported each other and made sure we wouldn't give up.

''Hey, I was thinking-'' I started while walking around in the kitchen, looking for food. ''We should probably follow the train tracks, I saw on the map that they lead straight to Macon.'' I opened a new cabinet and smiled when I saw what was inside.

''Bingo.'' I grinned and I showed her the three cans of food. She looked up from her cabinet and grinned at me.

''Finally.'' She sighed and stepped away from the cabinet and walked over to me. She grabbed the cans in her hand and put them in her backpack. ''Also, I think that's good idea. We won't get lost that way.'' She spoke up about the train tracks, agreeing with me.

''Good.'' I said and at that moment Olivia cheered silently.

''We found the jackpot!'' She said with a bigger smile on her face than first. She pointed towards the cabinet she was just searching and when I looked over I understood why she said that. There had to be at least a dozen canned foods in there. My mouth fell open and I gave Olivia a look. It sounded weird, why would somebody leave so much food behind?

''What if someone's still here?'' Olivia spoke up, reading my thoughts. She had a questioning look on her face and instantly her guard was up. ''You stay here with Judith, I'm gonna check it out upstairs.''

''No, Liv-''

''Just wait here.'' She interrupted me. Before I could say anything else she left, heading for the stairs. I wanted to follow her, but we both still didn't have a gun and I had Judith. I clenched my fists, why did she have to be so stubborn?

I pulled out my machete and walked over to the stairs. I waited for something to happen, to hear the sounds of fighting or a gunshot maybe. After 5 minutes, nothing had happened yet. Just when I was thinking about going upstairs to go check it out, Liv came back downstairs, but this time with a gun in her hand.

''Where did you get that?'' I questioned her, pointing at the gun.

''Dead guy, shot himself in the head. He seemed to have died recently, which explains the cans.'' She said while pointing behind her at the stairs. It scared me a bit how she didn't even seem phased by the fact that there was a dead guy upstairs. She just shrugged it off like it was nothing.

''What do we do with him?'' I asked, my eyes glancing upstairs, wondering why he killed himself.

''What do you mean? Nothing of course, he wanted to rot upstairs. Let him.'' I pressed my lips together at her answer and decided not to react to it. Walking back to the kitchen, I felt a weird feeling in my stomach. I had only seen this part of Olivia twice, when those people took our stuff, and once when a walker fell on top of her and she got so angry that she smashed its head in several times and even kicked it afterwards, to get her anger out.

I could honestly say that that part of Olivia scared me a bit, I wasn't scared that she was going to hurt me or something. Just that she was going to hurt innocent people around her or maybe even herself. She was acting stupid, and stupid gets you killed.

The next day we packed up again, feeling much better. We had a good amount of food, got a good nights sleep, no trouble and we felt ready to get going again.

We walked on the train tracks, keeping a good pace. We were talking to each other about the things we missed the most from our pre-apocalyptic lives.

''Cheeseburgers,'' I said and Olivia moaned, ''Omg I can almost taste them.'' She joked as she placed a hand over her heart.

''My playstation.'' Olivia said as she pouted, ''I would give anything to play on it one more time.''

''Yeah, but I always beat you though.'' I said sticking my tongue out. She fake gasped at my comment and tried to look shocked.

''You did not!'' She disagreed with me.

''I absolutely did.'' I said, although it wasn't true at all. I sucked at playing games, the only games I beat her with was with board games, which she thought was boring.

''you always accidently killed yourself.'' She laughed as she thought of that, this time it was my turn to pout.

''Not _always_.'' I tried, but Olivia didn't hear me anymore she was laughing so hard that she was grabbing her stomach and I raised my eyebrow at her. When she was done with laughing she let out a huge breath.

''Phew, that was fun.'' She sighed and I smiled at her, shaking my head.

''Hey, you remember that time when-'' I starter, but then my eyes caught something only a few feet away. I didn't know how I could have missed it, it was huge. We were just walking by some small kind of building, when I saw that there were words written on it, but that wasn't the only thing we saw. Next to the building, a board was placed, with the word Terminus on it.

''Aubrey?'' Olivia asked me, and when she saw what I was looking at she slowly walked over to it.

Written in blood were the words: 'Glenn come to Terminus - Maggie,'' I gasped as I walked over the the wall where it was written on. I read it again, and again, just to be sure that I wasn't imagining it.

''Liv, I know them.'' I said pointing at the words. It was only then that I turned to the other sign where Liv was currently looking at.

It was a map, above it was written in big letters 'TERMINUS'. As I looked at the map the spot where Macon was supposed to be was marked with a star. Above the map was another sign that said: 'Sanctuary for all, community for all, those who arrive survive.'

''Ehm, Aubrey-'' She started, but I didn't hear her, my heart was pounding in my chest as I looked at the map and the board. If Glenn and Maggie were still alive, then that meant that they were heading for Terminus, and they couldn't be the only ones that were alive.

''They're alive.'' I nervously laughed, shaking Olivia's shoulders. Olivia looked a bit unsure about this whole thing and her face was full of doubt, but I refused to acknowledge it.

''Look, Aubrey, I don't think that-''

''We have to go to Terminus.'' I said, determined to keep going. We couldn't stop now, not when we were so close to my group.

''Aubrey!'' Olivia yelled and I seemed to snap out of it. ''We shouldn't go there.'' She stated and frowned, a bit offended.

''Well, why not?'' I questioned a bit angry. My friends were out there and she just decided that we shouldn't go? If there really was a sanctuary then that would be the perfect place to raise Judith.

''Why would they take people in?'' She said, obviously cautious, ''I just doesn't seem realistic.'' She crossed her arms, staring at me.

''This place could be it, for Judith, for us.'' I said pointing the the little kid. At the mention of Judith her hard gaze faltered a bit, but she still remained with her arms crossed. ''I get it, you don't trust it, because you don't believe in good people anymore. But people _can_ do the right thing.'' I told her, thinking about the group. ''We can just go there, check it out and if we both don't trust it, we'll just leave again.'' I tried to convince her.

''You have to start taking chances.'' I tried one last time and she sighed, unfolded her arms and pinched the bridge off her nose. My heart was beating in my throat, hoping she would agree to come with me.

''Fine.'' She said. ''Let's just go.'' I let out a sigh of relief when she spoke those words and I had the urge to go and hug her. Only she didn't really look like she wanted a hug, so I just awkwardly nodded and we both continued in our way.

Now that I had seen the signs, my mind was racing with thoughts and questions. Did they really take people in? Was Maggie already there? Did Glenn and Maggie find each other? Were there other people from our group? Was it safe? What if it was already destroyed when we got there? Did they have other children?

My mind flashed back to Daryl, and I felt my heart beat a little faster at the thought of seeing him again. Before the day the Governor attacked I wasn't really sure what I felt for Daryl, well that's what I told myself. I told myself that I didn't like him, I wasn't looking for a relationship, I just avoided thinking about that prospect all together. But now, I felt like I should tell him what I feel. I wasn't sure what I felt, but it was something. It was a bit more then friendship, but it didn't feel like the standard partnerships I'd had. He could annoy me so bad, that I'd want to slap him and sometimes he was just so calm and collected, and then other times he'd just blow up.


	37. Chapter 37

**Oops.. I am soooo super duper sorry for not updating. I've been super busy lately. School's a bitch, but thanks for reading this chapter and I hope you enjoy (I know I enjoyed writing it)**

* * *

We had been walking for a few hours now, both had been fairly quiet, considering our conversations before we had found the signs about Terminus. I guess Olivia was thinking about the possibilities with Terminus, that seemed like something she would do, trying to asses the chances of there really being a sanctuary. I knew she didn't find in realistic, she probably didn't want to believe it, didn't want to get her hopes up.

I was also a bit cautious about the place, but I did think the group was there. Even if they weren't, I at least tried. Maybe if Terminus was already gone, we could sneak in and get some supplies. Get some weapons, some more food, medicine, which was something we were pretty low on.

Currently the only thing surrounding us was trees, trees and some more trees. And something a lost walker, which we always quickly took out.

''You think we're almost there?'' I asked Olivia, who was holding the map, we had marked Terminus with a small X, since I wasn't good at reading maps, Liv was the one holding it.

''Yeah we should be there soon, maybe in about an hour or so.'' She mumbled, her eyes focused on the map on front of her. She was tracing the route we were taking with her finger, stopped at the spot where she thought we currently were.

''Good, I could use a rest.'' I thought about the beds we could sleep in, maybe a hot meal. If we were lucky they might even have a shower.

''Me too,'' Liv sighed, folding the map again and placing it in her backpack. ''This is taking forever, I wish we had a vehicle or something.'' She complained and I agreed with her. A car, or maybe even a bike, would help us so much. I'd shout out in joy if we found one right now. But since we were on train tracks, that idea seemed a bit unrealistic, and changing roads could only end in us having to walk a few extra hours.

The closer we got to our destination, the more anxious I got. I was nervous to see the outcome of everything. Best case scenario, Terminus was a sanctuary and the whole group was still alive. Worst case scenario, Terminus was gone and the group was dead.

Suddenly I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I nudged Liv and we both stopped walking and looked to the left. Sure enough a walker stumbled out of the trees, it was a female walker. I handed Judith over to Olivia, who awkwardly accept the kid, and walked over to the walker. Olivia had done all the walker killing recently, since I was the one who held Judith. I felt like I needed to keep practicing too.

When the walker noticed me, it started to snarl and reach out to me. I avoided the arms that were excited to grab me, and gave it a kick to the knee. It fell over and I swiftly drove my knife in its skull. When I pulled the knife back, I looked up when I heard more groaning and snarling. Expecting another one to walk out, I turned towards the sound. I gasped when I saw, indeed, more walkers in the forest, coming out way. I just didn't expect there to be so many.

I turned towards Olivia with wide eyes and whispered, ''A lot more,'' Olivia's eyes widened too and I quickly jumped to my feet and ran towards her, taking Judith back and placing her in the carrier. After that, we started to run, without making too much sounds, across the tracks.

''We need some place to hide.'' Olivia whispered and I nodded. If we kept on running like this, the walkers'd see us and we would be as good as dead. We both dove into the bushes at the same time, taking cover in the woods.

We hid just on time, because the walkers came stumbling out of the woods. Only, they didn't follow the tracks like we expected them to do, they were limping in our directions. I wanted to stand up and run, while we still had a chance, but Olivia pulled me down and shook her head.

''They don't know we're here.'' She whispered, so soft it was more like mouthing. I nodded and clenched my teeth together, every instinct was screaming at me to run, to get to safety. But I pressed my lips together in a tight line and tried to make myself as small as possible, watching the walkers with an intense gaze.

If they noticed us, we wouldn't be able to take them on. We had two knives, a machete and a gun. That wasn't even enough to take on half of the herd. I had my machete clenched in my right hand, keeping my other hand on Judith's head.

They didn't seem to change directions and with every step they took, I started to get more and more anxious. I gave Olivia a worried look and I saw she was also having doubts. She met my gaze and we both thought about the same thing as they got closer. 'We had to get out of here'

We just took our first step, readying ourselves to run, when gunfire was heard. The walkers turned around and headed for the sounds that seemed to be too close for my liking, but at least we were safe. I let out a soft sigh and leaned against a tree that kept me hidden from the walkers. Olivia seemed to relax more as well, still keeping her eyes trained on the walkers.

We had to wait a very long time before all the walkers were gone. This was probably one of the biggest herds I had seen in the apocalypse. After about a half hour, maybe more, we decided it was safe enough to come out. We hadn't seen a walker in, what I guessed was, 10 minutes.

''The gunfire seemed to be from Terminus.'' I stated, slowly biting on my thumb.

''They were getting attacked,'' Olivia said, looking at the tracks where the herd had been not too long ago. ''Or they were attacking someone.'' She said glancing over at me and I bit my lip, let's just hope they they weren't attacking who I thought they were.

''We can't go that way anymore.'' I pointed at the tracks, we'd catch up with the hoard, or they'd smell us, see us, and turn around.

''There's another track east,'' Olivia turned her head east, nodding to the direction we were supposed to go in. ''We just need to be careful.'' She finally said and I agreed with her, heading in the direction.

* * *

We had been walking for about 20 minutes in silence. We were both on the edge about Terminus and the herd that was heading towards it. Still, it was worth checking Terminus out, even though there would be trouble in paradise, if it wasn't there already. It was pretty clear that Terminus did exist, or some kind of community at least. So, if there really was a sanctuary, then I imagined a lot of people wanted to take it. I wondered if the gunshots were some kind of bandits, taking everything they could. If it was, then I could imagine that they'd want Terminus.

That's when we both heard the engine of car. Olivia and I gave each other a look and instantly headed in the direction of the sound. My adrenaline had increased really fast and Olivia's was the same. This might be our only chance to get a vehicle, if we got that car, we could be at Terminus in a little over 10 minutes.

The sound of the engine had stopped, which meant that the car had stopped. We both slowed down when the trees around us reduced and we reached a clearing. There was a small hut on our right and on our left there was the car that had caught our attention. We both crouched down at the sight of a man, around early thirties, holding a walkie-talkie in his hand. He had the trunk of his car open and was ruffling through a bag.

''Can't believe I have to do this.'' He said into the device, clearly annoyed with whatever he was doing.

'' _Gareth said you'd get another job next time_.'' Said the woman on the other end of the radio. Olivia and I both took a few steps back when the guy pulled something out of the bag and backed away from the trunk. He seemed to be holding some kind of firework.

''Yeah, yeah,'' The guy answered and vested the radio on his belt.

'' _10 minute count. You screw up, you're on your own, Martin_.'' The voice said as he knelt down on the ground and placed the firework on the ground.

''You don't have to tell me, I wipe my own ass.'' Martin talked into the radio. I gestured for Olivia to hand me the gun, she gave me a skeptic look, but I reassured her I wouldn't use it. We only had 5 bullets left and since there was a herd nearby it wouldn't be the smartest idea to fire it off like an idiot.

''Alex didn't get it. You see, I knew the chick with the sword was bad news. Bitch looked like a weapon with a weapon.'' At those words my eyes widened and narrowed in on the guy. His back was turned to us as he picked up another firework thing and I slowly walked out of the bushes, my gun raised.

I know I told Olivia that I wouldn't use it, but at this moment I wasn't so sure anymore. As I walked over to him, Olivia right behind me with her knife, he kept on having a conversation with the lady on the radio.

'' _He was always a sloppy ass mother-_ ''

''Yeah, I told Albert I want the kids hat-'' At those words I cocked my gun behind him and I felt him freeze as he finished his sentence, ''- after they bleed him out.'' My thoughts immediately went to Carl and I felt my heart beating with the thought of what they were going to do to him.

''Drop the radio.'' I said pushing my gun against the back of his head.

'' _They're only doing eight before public face_.'' The woman said and I gave Olivia a strange look. What kind of community was this?

''Listen, y'all don't have to do this. We got a place where everyone is welcome.'' He tried, but Olivia snapped at him.

''Shut up.''

''Okay,'' Martin shakily said.

''We're friends with the girl with the swords and the kid with the hat.'' I said to him, grabbing him by the back of his shirt and pushing him inside the hut we had seen earlier. Olivia followed, after grabbing the bag he was carrying with him and looking through his car.

''Can you tie him up?'' I asked Olivia, since I was still holding the gun. She grabbed some duct tape and tied his hands up in front of him.

''They attacked us, we're just holding them.'' He said, I narrowed my eyes at him, putting my gun away after I saw that Olivia had tied him up.

''Sure.'' I gave him a sarcastic smile before turning to Olivia.

''What are we going to do?'' She asked me, putting Judith in a plastic box with some blankets in it. I pinched the bridge of my nose, thinking about it.

It was weird knowing that my friends were really alive. Before, it was just a hunch, a guess. I was just heading blindly in a direction and hoping they would be there, now that we were sure they were at Terminus, it was a different story. Terminus wasn't the sanctuary we both wanted it to be, so now I needed to get them out of here.

''You are going to stay here.'' I told her grabbing one of the bags Olivia found in the trunk of Martin's car. ''To watch Judith and that guy,'' I pointed at Martin.

''What?'' She asked, almost a bit offended that she was on baby-sitting duty, ''You're just gonna leave me here to watch that nut-head.'' She said pointing her head at Martin. He coughed awkwardly, trying to let us know he was still in the room.

''Someone needs to watch her, and it would be a bit strange if the other found you. They don't know you, they could kill you the minute they look at you.'' I said, dropping my voice a bit so that I was almost whispering. ''I don't want you to die,'' I softly added.

''So what? You're just gonna go out there and kill everyone?'' Olivia threw her hands up, not agreeing with my choice of actions. ''We _need_ to do this together.''

''Well what about Judith? She can't come with us.'' Olivia angrily pressed her lips together, knowing I was right.

''Fine.'' She stated, stepping back and leaning against the wall with a frown on her face.

''Do you have any more people?'' I asked the guy, Martin, lowering myself to his level.

''We have the boy and the samurai that's it.'' I sighed at his answer.

''I don't believe you.'' I said, standing up again and pulling a machine gun out of a bag.

''There's a lot of us out there,'' He warned us, ''There was a lot of gunfire back home, we need to set off our charges at the same time, to confuse the dead ones away.'' He explained us and I frowned, thinking off a way to avoid them. ''That's good for you too!'' Martin quickly added.

''No, it's not.'' I said and got a confused look from both Martin and Olivia. ''We'll need the herd heading towards Terminus, they'd gonna help.'' I said and slung a bag of fireworks over my shoulder. I grabbed the machine gun and turned over to Olivia.

''Keep her and yourself safe please.''I told her and gave her a quick hug, she awkwardly returned it, clearly not used to the invasion of space yet.

''What are you gonna do?'' She asked me, concerned about my lack of explanation.

''Improvise.''

* * *

 **Reviews are always appreciated :D**


	38. Chapter 38

**This isn't edited, like most of my chapters :P**

* * *

''Ugh,'' I grunted as I grabbed another handful of blood and smeared it across my poncho. I'd gotten the poncho of off a walker and now it was practically dripping with walker blood.

With a sigh I dipped my hands in the walkers stomach again. ''This is gonna be so hard to wash out,'' I pouted as I smeared some blood in my hair. Because I wanted to avoid getting it on my face, but I didn't want to be smelled by the walkers, I thought it was a good alternative for my face.

The thought of me being reunited with my everyone again made my heart beat faster and my excitement grow. I wasn't sure what I was going to do yet, but I wanted to be prepared for anything. As I swung my bag over my shoulder again and stood up, I tried to blend in with the walkers.

I was relieved to not have Judith with me. She was absolutely amazing and cute, but it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders now she wasn't here. I was responsible for me, myself and I. If anything went wrong than it was on me, and not on a child who didn't even know what was going on.

I kept my machine gun under my poncho, hiding it from the people from Terminus. If they were there, at least. It'd be a bit weird to see a walker holding a gun in their hand. My brown hair, that was now almost reaching my shoulder, was sticky from the blood and I tried not to shiver when I felt it stick against my neck.

In no time, I found the fence that led to Terminus. It was an old train station, on the windows was painted, in each window a letter, 'TERMINUS'. When I looked over the grounds of it I stopped at the sight of people being dragged out a train cart. I grabbed my machine gun and focused on the people that were being dragged out. My heart almost missed a beat when I saw it was Rick, Glenn, Daryl, Bob that were now being dragged away with a cloth covering their mouth.

I resisted the urge to shoot the men holding them right now, knowing it'll only get me and them killed. They were alive, Daryl was alive. ' _Not for long, if you don't do anything_.' I thought to myself and tried to focus on the rest of the area, trying to find a way to distract them. Suddenly gunshots rang out and my eyes trailed over to the entrance of Terminus, where a big group of walkers was trying to get inside. At first the people inside tried to shoot at them, but when they saw the size of the herd they quickly ran back.

If I could only get the dead inside. That'd be a good enough distraction. My eyes fell on a fairly large propane tank. I turned over to my bag with explosives and then back to the tank. I cringed at the thought of what I was going to do, but I knew time was running out and I had to be quick.

I aimed at the tank and shot, cursing when it didn't work. After two other shots, it did work. There was a small hole in the tank, the gas inside it now getting out. Wasting no time I picked up the firework and aimed it at the tank.

''Please work,'' I prayed as I lit the firework. I made myself as small as possible and covered my ears, waiting for the blow.

I let out a small yelp as the tank blew up, creating a massive explosion. When I looked back up again I saw several walkers on fire and a lot of people screaming and running down the guilt I stood up and headed straight for Terminus. This was my chance, I had to get them out.

When I reached the entrance, the only word to describe the situation was: Chaos. Walkers were on fire, the building was on fire and a lot of people had very quickly turned into food. I wish there would have been another way, I'm sure some of these people were innocent, like the people in Woodbury.

I cringed as I walked past a woman who was screaming her lungs out while she was being chewed on by three walkers. _This is not your fault, this is not your fault_. I told myself as I kept shuffling in between the walkers. They shouldn't have captured my friends, they had this coming.

A few feet away I saw a man firing at walkers and I knew I had to get out of there, I could be mistaken for a walker and shot. If they realized I was a living person I was sure they'd also shoot me. I looked left and right and found a metal door to my right. I dove right for it, dodging a few walkers that had noticed me.

I quickly shot the door after me, keeping the walkers out. I let out a deep breath when I realized I was safe, for now. At least no one had noticed me yet. I turned around and gasped at the sight in front of me.

Tables full of weapons, clothes, and other stuff were placed in the room. I walked over to one of the tables and recognized Rick's watch. Slowly picking it up, I put it in my pocket. I searched through the other watches, looking for Glenn's watch that he had gotten from Hershel, I knew he'd love to get it back. But, I couldn't find it, so hopefully he still had it on him. When I turned over to another table, the one with weapons, the first one that I saw was Daryl's crossbow. I swung it over my shoulder. I grabbed two other handguns, knowing we'd be needing it for later.

I shivered when I saw a pile of stuffed animals lying on a table. What was this place? Had they killed children? I suddenly felt even more relieved that Judith wasn't here. Throwing the handguns in my bag and some ammo in my pocket, I slung it back over my shoulder and made my way out of the room, not really excited to stay any longer.

When I excited the room, I arrived in a long hallway. Only, instead of there being a lot of doors, there was only one at the end of the hall. I slowly crept towards it, cringing at every sound I made. It was so quiet here that I could hear my every breath, the only sound that could be heard was the gunfire from outside.

I placed my hand on the door handle and slowly pushed the door, glad to find that it wasn't locked. If I thought the other room was imposing, than I had no words for what this was.

The whole floor was coated with candles, under every candle was a name written. This thing was a graveyard, some kind of homage. On the walls were several writings like; ' _Never again_ ' or ' _Never trust'._ This place was starting to make less and less sense.

Not feeling comfortable in this room, I quickly walked over to a door where there was an exit sign above. My eyes flashed over all the names written on the ground, trying to ignore the weird feeling in my chest, like something wasn't right.

I was halfway when I heard a gun cocking behind me. I froze immediately, my heart skipping a beat.

''Drop your weapons and turn around.'' A woman behind me said, breathing heavily. ''I want to see your face.''

I wasn't moving. I knew that as soon as I turned around she was going to kill me, but if I drew my gun she'd also kill me. I tried to control my breathing as I thought of a solution.

''Now!'' She yelled and I slowly dropped my bag and Daryl's crossbow, gripping my machine gun tightly in my hand.

Knowing what I had to do, I swiftly turned around and started to shoot at the figure behind me. The woman quickly let herself fall to the floor, her gun falling along with her, only sliding several feet away. She started to crawl towards her gun, but I quickly ran over and kicked it away.

The woman grabbed my by my feet and pulled me down, I grunted as I felt my body hit the floor and withing second she was on top of me, trying to strangle me. I pushed my machine gun against her chest and kept her hands away from my neck.

With one strong blow, I pushed her away from me and she fell to the ground. We both stood up at the same time and again she attacked me. She tried to grab my hair, but since it was too short she didn't have a lot of luck. We both fell against several candles and knocked a lot of them over.

She grabbed a hold of my gun and tried to tug it away from me.

''Let. Go.'' I grunted and with one final jolt I kicked the gun against her head, making her fall off me. I stood up and pointed my gun at her. When she realized she couldn't do anything anymore, she sighed and slowly stood up too, tears glistering in her eyes.

''They signs-'' She stared, taking a deep breath in as she started to softly cry, ''They were real. It was a sanctuary.'' Her face was coated in blood, if it was hers I didn't know, and her ginger hair was draped in front of her face, making her look a bit wild.

''People came and took this place. They raped and killed and they laughed.'' She said gritting her teeth. I wasn't sure if I should let her finish or if I should just cut her off and ask where to go. ''But we got out, we fought and we got it back!'' She was almost yelling now and I could hear the walkers at the door, trying to come in.

''And we heard the message! You're the butcher, or you're the cattle.'' Instead of responding to her story I took a deep breath and cocked my gun.

''The men they got from the train cart, where are they?'' She didn't answer me, she just kept staring at me with those wild eyes. If I wasn't the one holding the gun, I would have been dead by now.

''Where are they!'' I yelled and she still didn't answer. I pointed my gun at her leg and fired. She crumbled to the ground, screaming in pain as she held her leg. I tried not to feel guilty, since she still had tried to kill me.

''Where are they!''

''Now,'' She softly said, looking me straight in the eye, ''Point it at my head.'' I shivered when she suddenly started to laugh.

''You could have been one of us, you just had to listen!'' She laughed, rolling over to her side.

''What is this place? You rob people from their belongings and you kill them? Is that it?'' I asked, pointing the gun at her head, but not planning on shooting.

''Not at first, it's what it had to be.''

''No.'' I stated, grabbing my bag and Daryl's crossbow, ''That's not true.'' With those words I opened the exit door and let the walkers in. They first turned towards me, but after smelling a walker and no human they turned to the one who did smell alive, especially with her blood still coming out of the wound. I ignored her screams as I walked out of the building, swallowing down the lump in my throat. I didn't feel remorse for that woman, she deserved to die, I was just sad that I had to be the one to kill her.

I had started to look around, trying to find any sign of Rick and the others. My eyes found the group running towards the fences, climbing over it. My first instinct was to run after them, but taking one look around I knew that wasn't a good idea. I was surrounded by walkers and if I started to run I knew that they'd discover me and I would be dead within a second.

Still, I was relieved at the sight of the whole group being there. Rick, Daryl, Michonne, Carl, Glenn, Maggie, Tyreese, Sasha, Bob, everyone was there, even a couple of knew people.

I left the way I came in, through the entrance of Terminus. Where it was now fairly quiet, since all the walkers had invaded Terminus and probably had seen enough food for them. As soon as I wasn't in the clear anymore I started to run in the direction of the rest of the group. Eager to finally see them again.

It wasn't long before I was in the woods. I slowed down my pace, looking around and trying to find the rest. My mind thought back to Olivia and Judith, they had probably seen and heard the explosion, I hoped that Olivia didn't think I was dead. I wish we had stolen a walkie-talkie from that guy Martin.

I was thinking about turning around, trying to search somewhere else in the woods, when I heard voices. Familiar voices. My heart started to beat a little faster at the thought of seeing everyone again, would they be happy to see me?

The first one I saw was Rick, hunched over a bag. I awkwardly stood amongst the trees, silently watching them as they were discussing something. Rick's beard had grown longer and so had Daryl's hair. He was leaning with his head against a tree, his hair covering his face, making it impossible for me to see him. I took a step forward, my foot snapping a twig.

Daryl, probably because of his hunting skills, was the first one to see me and he let out a sigh of relief when his eyes met mine. My bottom lip started to tremble as he ran over to me and wrapped me up in a hug, breathing heavily. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, shutting my eyes tightly. He was here, he was finally here.

I softly laughed as he lifted me off the ground, hugging me even tighter. He pulled away, only to lean his head against my shoulder. I sighed and put my hand on his cheek, making him look up again. I frowned at the bruises and cuts on his face. What had happened?

Rick slowly stepped forward, and Daryl stepped away from me, making me focus on Rick.

''Did you do that?'' He asked and I slowly nodded with tears in my eyes. Rick took another step forward and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I smiled as my eyes met with Daryl's who stood behind Rick.

''Thank you.'' Rick whispered in my ear and I just nodded, not really knowing what to say. After that a lot of hugs were exchanged and I couldn't believe everyone was really here.

''Rick.'' I said, turning around to face him, ''You have to come with me.'' I said and we all started to walk towards the hut. The closer we got the more excited I became. Rick and Carl were going to meet Judith again. They were going to be reunited.

When we were almost there I quickly stepped in front of everybody, almost jumping with excitement. ''I'm gonna head up, just keep walking forwards, you'll see the hut.'' With those words I gave them a big smile and took off in a sprint, heading to the hut.

''Olivia!'' I yelled and within second Olivia came barging out with Judith balancing on her arm.

''Aubrey! What happened to you? Are you hurt? Did you find them?'' She said looking at me, I was still wearing the poncho and my hair was still red from all the blood. I decided it was best to throw it off of me, so I did. Glad to feel slightly less dirty without the poncho.

''Yes, I found everyone, including Judith's family.'' I said as Olivia handed Judith over to me.

''Where's Martin?''

''Dead.'' She said and pressed her lips together. I nodded, knowing that it was probably for the best. At that moment Rick and the rest of the group started to appear. I turned around, showing the little bundle of joy in my arms.

Rick let out a shaky sigh and dropped his bags on the ground, running straight to Judith, Carl was not far behind. Rick almost crashed into me as I handed him Judith, letting Carl and him have their moment. I turned over to Olivia, surprised as she gave me a bone crushing hug.

''I'm so glad you're back.'' She whispered, ''I thought you'd died out there, I didn't know what to do.'' When she pulled back I noticed the silent tears in her eyes and I let out a shakily laugh. ''I'm fine, thanks for looking after her.'' She just nodded before her eyes fell on the rest of the group.

''Guys,'' I said, catching everyone's attention, ''This is Olivia, my best friend.'' I swung an arm around her and she did the same with an unsure attitude, not really being used to this kind of attention. ''She has kept me alive.'' Rick stepped forward to Olivia.

''Thank you.'' He said placing a hand on her shoulder, Olivia awkwardly nodded, waiting for him to let go of her shoulder. I quickly told Olivia everyone's name, making her known with everyone.

That's when Daryl introduced me to the rest of the group. Apparently we had 4 new people, Abraham, Eugene, Rosita and Tara. Tara had been with the Governor when they attacked and Glenn said that they'd explain it later, how he had met the other three.

I walked over to Daryl, looking up into his eyes. I was so glad he was here, everything I had hoped for came true. Everyone was alive and well, we were all reunited and even though there wasn't a sanctuary, things couldn't get any better.

''What happened to your face?'' I asked him, reaching out to touch his bruised eye. He cursed in pain as I touched it and pulled back his face. ''Sorry,'' I apologized, pulling my hand back.

''It's okay,'' He said, looking me over. ''I'll tell you everything later, when were gone again.'' I nodded, looking over my shoulder to see Rick talking to Glenn and Maggie. Olivia was leaning against the hut, watching the group with an observing gaze. Her eyes met mine and I smiled at her, she softly smiled back before looking away.

'' 'She good?'' Daryl asked, making me focus on him again. '' 'She a good person?'' I bit my lip, thinking about the times when she would turn cold, not caring about who was in front of her, if she had to kill someone, she'd do it. No doubt. But she was also my friend, my best friend and I knew she cared for me and I cared for her. She'd safe my ass a thousand times and she was still the same person as she was before, just with a different way of thinking.

''Yes,'' I said, no trace of hesitation in my voice, ''Without a doubt.'' At that moment I heard a twig snap behind Daryl and I quickly stepped away from him and towards the sound with my gun raised. That seemed to alert Daryl to as he raised his crossbow to the sound.

''Come out! We know you're there!'' I yelled, it wasn't a walker. If it was then we'd heard the snarling already or it would have tried to attack us. My yelling seemed to catch everyone's attention and they all had their guns raised towards the sound. Olivia was right behind me.

After a few second, there was indeed someone who stepped out of the woods. I gasped when I saw who it was. It was the woman who had robbed us back when we were somewhere outside Forsyth. She looked horrible, even more so then we did. Her hair was all over the place and there was mud all smeared over her. Her eyes were wide and she seemed to tremble all over. I noticed Olivia's compound bow swung around her shoulder and the bag of supplies she'd stolen from us.

''Where is your partner!'' I yelled, stepping forward. I noticed the weird looks the rest of the group gave me as I talked to the woman. Olivia also stepped forward, looking furious.

''H-He's-'' She started but slowly started to cry. I noticed Olivia's hands tighten around the gun, almost shaking with anger.

''Liv.'' I said, her eyes snapped over to me, the look in them made me shiver. I turned back to the woman, who was still trembling and crying all over.

''P-Please,'' She started to beg, ''I'm sorry, we needed the supplies, if you just let me go-''

''You left us to die.'' I interrupted her, my eyes narrowing at the woman. I wasn't planning on killing her, but I wasn't planning on just letting her leave. I wanted our stuff back and then she could go, so she realized what we had to go through.

''N-No, I left some.'' She objected.

''Those were for the baby.'' I said, ''Look, just give us our stuff back and we'll let you go.'' I sighed and Olivia's eyes snapped over to me.

''Aubrey! No!'' She yelled and I flinched at the volume of her voice. I ignored her and took a step forward to the woman.

''No, no, please.'' She started to full on cry at this point, sobbing, as she held her hands in the air. This woman was so different then the woman who had robbed us, she seemed so vulnerable. ''You don't know what I have been through I-'' She stopped talking her eyes leaving mine and widening as she looked over to something behind me.

She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a loud gunshot. I watched in horror as her head snapped back with the impact and she crumbed to the ground, dead. I turned to Olivia who had her finger still on the trigger, no remorse in her eyes.

''That's my bow, bitch.'' She said stepping forward and grabbing the bow off of her dead body. I was too shocked to do anything, I just stood there looking at how Olivia started to go through her bag, looking for her supplies.

My eyes met Daryl's and he gave me a worried look.

''Look Aubrey, your gun.'' Olivia plainly said and that seemed to snap me out of it. My eyes turned over to her, flaming.

''What the fuck is your problem!'' I yelled at her and she looked up at me, her face full of surprise.

''What?'' She said,

''That woman was harmless! Did you see how she looked!'' I took a step towards her, trying to ignore the body that was now in between us.

''She stole from us! Like you said, she left us to die!'' She yelled back, raising her arms.

''So you just go and kill her.'' I snapped, feeling my throat tighten and my bottom lip trembling. I swiftly bit on it, to make sure she didn't see it.

''I just- You know what, I don't need to explain myself to you.'' She said and for a second I saw her hardened look softening. I saw the pain in her eyes and I immediately softened.

''Liv-'' I started and reach out for her, but she was quick to slap my hands away.

''Don't. I don't need your sympathy, not now.'' She swiftly turned around, away from the woman and I was left with several eyes on me.


	39. Chapter 39

**Another update!**

* * *

I glanced over at Olivia through the corners of my eyes. She was walking in front of me, on the right. Her right hand was placed on the gun in its holster and her left was her knife. I wanted to talk to her, but I felt like this would only draw more attention to us, so I just settled on walking next to Daryl.

''What happened?'' Daryl asked, his eyes finding mine, ''After the prison.'' I knew this question would come eventually. I sighed softly, opening my mouth to explain everything.

''I was alone with Judith for a while,'' I explained, ''then I found Olivia.'' My eyes automatically snapped to her as she walked. It felt strange that she was here with the group, because now she was the outsider, the new one.

''I know how she seems like,'' I said, turning my head to look up at Daryl. '' but that's not who she is. I don't know what happened to her while I was gone, but it's obviously something awful.'' I wanted Daryl to know that she could be trusted, even though she wasn't seeing things straight, I trusted her, with my life.

''The woman,'' I referred to what had just happened, ''She'd robbed us while we were on the road, stole our car and left. It was hard after that and when we found the signs, we also found the message that Maggie left Glenn.'' The image of the woman's head snapping back from the bullet impact entered my mind and I shut my eyes for a second, trying to get rid of the image.

''Hm-hm,'' Daryl hummed, gesturing for me to continue.

''Well, you already know the rest. I blew up Terminus and I saved your ass again.'' I joked and he scoffed at me, giving me a look that made my heart skip a beat.

''What happened to you?'' I repeated the question he asked me. ''To your face?''

'' 'Was alone for a while, but I met up with a group.'' He stopped, looking back at Rick and Carl. ''Said they were looking for someone, that he'd killed one of their men.'' Another pause, he seemed to be looking for the right words to say, or maybe he was just thinking back. ''Turned out that someone was Rick.'' My eyes instantly snapped over to Rick, who was walking in the front, holding Judith.

''They wanted to kill 'im, kill Michonne and rape Carl.''I flinched at those words, my eyes looking over to Carl, who had a few scratches on his face. Daryl was staring in front of him, not looking at me.

''They did that to you?'' I pointed at his face.

''Yeah,'' He mumbled, silence fell over us. I wanted to ask him about the men, but I guessed that since Daryl, Rick, Michonne and Carl were still here, the other group was dead. I knew there was something he wasn't telling me, but I wasn't planning on forcing him. Instead, I just reached down and grabbed his hand. Without looking at me he intertwined his fingers with mine and we silently kept on walking. I looked down at our hands, trying to ignore the fast beating of my heart.

* * *

That night we were all huddled together by the campfire, except Olivia and me. We were both leaning against a tree, a few feet away from the rest of the group. I was slowly chewing on some peaches, enjoying the sweet flavor in my mouth. I reached the can out to Olivia.

''You want some?'' I offered her but she shook her head, pushing her knife into the ground out of boredom. ''You need to eat.'' I pushed, not wanting to be annoying, but I knew she hadn't eaten all day. Yes, we had gone longer without food, but that didn't mean I was just going to let her starve.

''Oh so now you care?'' She said, finally looking into my eyes. Her eyes were full of sadness and I almost flinched at the intensity of them.

''I've always cared.'' I said calmly, trying to keep her from raising her voice. The herd was still closer then I liked, and I didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention to us. She gave me a sigh as she shook her head.

''You've never asked me once, what happened before we met.'' Her voice broke and I pressed my lips together, knowing that that was true. I just didn't want to invade her privacy, I thought that maybe she'd talk to me about it herself. But somewhere, I also knew I never asked, because I was scared of the answer. I was scared the answer was even worse than I thought.

''I-'' I started, but stopped myself, knowing that whatever I would say wasn't the right answer. ''I'm sorry.'' I said, rubbing my hands in my face.

''Do you even care?'' She asked and my head snapped up towards her.

''Of course I do!'' I said, a little bit too loud. I quickly closed my mouth again and looked around to see if no one, or nothing, had heard us.

''I just- I was too scared to ask.'' I finally admitted.

''That's weak, Aubrey.'' She said and I nodded, knowing that was true. It was clear that Olivia was carrying some weight on her shoulders, and I knew that talking could help. I was the only person she could talk to, but I was too much of a coward to want that. I was being selfish and only thinking about myself, not wanting to carry anymore weight.

''I promise you, if you ever want to talk. I'm here.'' I said, figuring that she wouldn't want to talk right now. She nodded at me and I gave her a small smile.

''A-Are we okay?'' I asked her, my tone full of uncertainty. After a few second Olivia nodded and without hesitation I wrapped her up in a hug. ''I'm so sorry.'' I whispered in her ear.

''It's okay, I guess I get it.'' She reassured me and stood up, rubbing my head real quick, but quickly pulling her hand back when she felt the, now, dried up blood.

''You gotta wash that.'' She said, wiping her dirty hand against my coat. I grinned up at her as she walked away. As I watched her figure walk away I sighed to myself and put my head in my hands. I had been so stupid, I knew things will never get back to the way they used to be, but I had to try.

My eyes traveled over the group all huddles together by the campfire. Bob and Sasha were softly talking and laughing with each other, cuddled up against each other. Carl, Michonne and Tyreese were laughing about something. Tara, Rosita and Abraham were also doing something and Eugene was just silently watching everyone like I did. I saw Rick watching Olivia with narrowed eyes and I wondered how he was coping with everything. I hadn't seen him since the prison, where Lori died. I made a mental note to talk to him tomorrow, catch up with everything.

I was missing a familiar face. I scanned the group again, trying to find Daryl, but he was no where to be seen. He was probably out hunting, trying to keep himself busy. I swiftly pulled myself up from the tree and grabbed my gun, checking the magazine. It was fully loaded, let's hope I can keep it that way. I stepped into the forest, out of the clear, searching for Daryl.

I had picked up on a few tricks that I saw Daryl use while hunting, so I moved slowly, careful to not step on any twigs, which was very hard considering it was dark. I regretted not bringing a flashlight with me, hell, I was slowly regretting even going at all. Daryl knew how to take care of himself, he'd gotten himself out of enough trouble to prove it.

I was slowly circling the camp, hoping Daryl had decided to stay close. I'd almost make a full round when I heard a twig snap behind me. I swiftly turned around, aiming my gun in the direction of the sound. It was hard to see what or who it was, but something was blocking the moonlight.

''Daryl?'' I whispered, stepping forward to the figure. I hadn't even noticed that its back was turned to me, but when it heard my voice it quickly turned around. He'd seem to be watching the camp and I cocked my gun. An unfamiliar set of eyes met mine and before I could even process what was going on, he ran away.

I ran forward to go after it, but was stopped when someone grabbed me by my shoulders. My first reaction was to knee it in the groin, so that's what I did. The person behind me grunted and I promptly turned around, raising my machete. I stopped when I saw who it was.

''Jesus Christ, Daryl.'' I cursed, lowering my machete and helping him up.

''What the hell is wrong with ya girl?'' He grunted, grabbing his junk. I snickered at the sight of him, but that quickly faltered when I realized what just happened.

''Someone's out there.'' I said, turning my head to look at the spot where the figure stood. That made Daryl's head snap up, alarm bells ringing in his head.

''What?'' He grumbled, grabbing his crossbow tightly.

''Someone's watching us.''

* * *

 **Thanks to the ones who reviewed! and they are very much appreciated :D**


	40. Chapter 40

(Aubrey's clothing this Part: cgi/set?.locale=nl&id=201277102 )

The next day no one had found anything. I had started to blame my imagination, but no one was really convinced. We had decided to just leave the place as fast as we could, hoping nothing wouldn't follow us.

We were all a bit on edge at first, wondering who could be following us. There were some mumbles about Terminus following us, but most of them quickly dismissed it, saying that they were either dead or hiding. Still, I kept my hand on the gun in my holster almost the whole day. It felt like we were being watched, and I wasn't a fan of it.

I had been filled in with everything that had happened before everyone found Terminus. About how Glenn had found Abraham, Eugene and Rosita. And how Eugene could cure everything if he went to Washington. I wasn't against the idea, just like the rest of the group.

I was walking next to Olivia, trying to make her a bit comfortable with the group. I didn't really want to leave her on her own, until she'd really fit in. I knew it wasn't right, that she could handle it on her own, but I was just a bit protective over her, felt the need to make her feel comfortable.

Michonne appeared on my left, asking me about what happened at Terminus. A lot of people seemed to be eavesdropping, all interested in how everything had worked out.

''After the explosion, I went inside Terminus.'' I explained, ''It was quite easy to do, because of the walkers. At first, I came in their 'supply-room''' I said, bending two fingers on each hand. ''With consisted of the stuff from the people they had.. killed. Then I kept walking and arrived in this weird room, full of candles.'' I frowned, thinking back about it. ''It was like a graveyard, without the bodies. Names were written on the floor, with candles next to it. After that I quickly walked out, trying to find you.'' I said, keeping silent about the woman that attacked me.

''What kind of place was that?'' I asked them, hoping they would have a bit more information. Nobody answered me for a few seconds, all just looking at me or at the ground. Finally, Rick spoke up.

''They were cannibals.'' My eyes widened and I felt a bit nauseous all of the sudden.

''Oh my god,'' I said, slamming my hands in front of my mouth. The woman's words rang through my mind. ' _It's the way it had to be_ ,' '  
style="font-style: italic; font-size: 16pt;"You're either the butcher, or the cattle.' I glanced over at Olivia and saw that she had visibly paled as well. That was insane. There were dead people eating the living, so why would you ever start to eat your own?

''I-'' I started, but was cut off by a scream echoing in the woods.

''Help!'' The voice yelled, ''Help me, please!'' Carl turned to Rick, his eyes pleading and begging him to go and help. We were all waiting for Rick's command, to tell us we should help. We all knew that it was the best to do, only Olivia seemed a bit skeptic, but she did flinch every time the man yelled.

After another few seconds of doubt, Rick took off, we all following after him, towards the sound. It wasn't long before we noticed the sound coming closer. We ran amongst the trees, my heart pounding and my breathing starting to become heavy. I noticed it was a bit harder to keep up with the group, I guess my lack of nutrition and condition didn't really help me.

The trees cleared and there was a huge rock surrounded by walkers. There was a black man sitting on top of the rock, yelling for help. I almost groaned at the stupidity of being so loud, you'd only draw more attention to yourself. There were already five walkers surrounding him and there'd be more if he kept screaming like that.

Rick was the first one to kill a walker. I quickly joined in, pushing a walker against the rock, making it impossible for him to move. With one swift movement I rammed the walker's head against the rock, multiple times, until it finally stopped moving and I let it go with a sigh. My breathing had increased heavily and by the time I was done, I was leaning on my knees, panting.

I looked up to see Daryl pulling out an arrow out of a walker and we exchanged a curt nod. The man on the rock slowly climbed down. He was shaking all over his body, clearly still shook about the walkers.

''You okay?'' Rick asked a bit suspicious of the man. There was a second of silence before the man bent over and threw up whatever was in his stomach. I turned around, not really wanting to empty my stomach too, and shut my eyes. Gross.

''Sorry,'' The guy mumbled, wiping his mouth. ''Yes, thank you.'' He thanked us and I faintly nodded, trying not to look down at the ground, where his vomit was. So, instead of looking down, I observed the guy. He was a black, bald man. There was a faint layer of sweat coating his skin, which wasn't surprising with his suit. He was wearing a black priest suit, it looked incredibly hot in there.

''I'm Gabriel,'' He introduced.

''Do you have any weapons on you?'' Rick asked, pointing at his suit. Gabriel just chuckled, as if he didn't believe us.

''Does it look like I have any weapons?'' He said and I exchanged a look with Michonne. What was this guy's problem?

''We don't give two short curies what it looks like.'' Abraham commented, clearly not taking his shit. Garbiel visibly gulped and took a deep breath in, a bit nervous.

''I have no weapons of any kind,'' He said, ''The words of God is the only protection I need.'' I was a bit surprised with his words, I hadn't believed that after almost two years in the apocalypse people would still believe in the word of God. I knew Maggie was religious once, but she told us she didn't see the point in believing anymore.

''Sure didn't look like it.'' Daryl commented, leaning against the rock.

''I called for help,'' Gabriel smiled a bit at us, ''Help came.'' He awkwardly smiled up at Rick, who just started at him, observing him. Gabriel obviously felt uncomfortable under Rick's intense stare and looked down at the ground. ''Do you have a camp?'' He asked.

''No, do you?'' Rick questioned him.

''I-I have a church.'' He stumbled.

''Hold your hands above you head.'' Rick order his left hand still placed on his gun. Gabriel nervously obeyed and Rick started to search him for any hidden weapons, while asking the three questions.

''How many walkers have you killed?''

A nervous chuckle. ''Not any actually.''

''How many people have you killed?''

''None.''

''Why?''

''Because the Lord abhors violence.'' He turned around shockingly, as if we expected him to have killed people. I raised my eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything. If he wanted to believe in God, who was I to stop him? Rick stepped closer to Gabriel, intimidating him.

''What have you done?'' He said, trying to figure him out, ''We've all done something.''

''I'm a sinner.'' He said, ''I sin almost every day, but I tell those sins to God. Not strangers.'' He told us confidently. Rick narrowed his eyes and then nodded, accepting the answer. At least he didn't lie, or deny it. I guess lying is a sin too.

It must be nice to believe in God, even though there's no proof he really existed. I mean, thinking and believing that there's a place where you can go after you die is a comforting thought. But, at the same time, you can't be dependent on something except yourself. God isn't going to help you if you're surrounded by walkers.

''You said you had a church?'' Michonne, who was standing next to me, asked him.

''Yeah, I do.'' He said and before we knew it we'd grabbed our stuff and followed Gabriel to his church. A church didn't seem like the best safe place there was, but it was definitely better than out here, in the woods. I couldn't help but keep looking back, still feeling like we were being watched.

''Hey, were you watching us last night?'' I asked Gabriel. I was standing behind Rick, who was walking closely behind Gabriel, keeping an eye on him. Daryl, who was walking beside me, glanced over at me before looking back at the priest.

''I keep to myself, sometimes people are as dangerous as the dead, don't you think?'' He said, turning his head so he was looking at me.

''No, people are worse.'' I mumbled, looking down at the ground.

''Well, I wasn't watching you. This was the furthest I've gone since it all started.'' There was a small silence, for a second I thought he was lying, but it didn't sound like he was lying. Which only made me worry more, if it wasn't him, then who was it?

''Or maybe I'm lying.'' He suddenly said and all of our heads snapped up to him, my heart started to pound in my chest, my mind thinking back to when my family was led into a trap with those men. I placed my hand on my gun, while watching him. ''Maybe I'm lying about everything and there's no church ahead at all. Maybe I'm leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels.''

I looked over at Olivia behind me, and saw that she'd also grabbed an arrow, ready to use her bow if she needed to. I gave her a silent nod and patted my hand on my gun, drawing her attention to it. She nodded, seeing that I was prepared too. Gabriel turned around and saw all our wary looks.

''Members of my flock had often told me that my humor leaves much to be desired.'' He said, he had fully turned around now, and was awkwardly walking back, his eyes trained on us.

''Yeah, it does.'' Daryl snapped at him, clearly annoyed. Gabriel who was still walking backwards, turned around and awkwardly bumped into a tree, he straightened his suit and swiftly kept on walking, ignoring our looks.

With a sigh, I let my hand fall and gave Daryl a look. He returned it with a look that said: ' _Keep an eye on him_ ,'

It wasn't long after that, that we arrived at the church. It was a white church and seemed quite small, which meant that there was a small town nearby. We could get supplies there, if anything was left at least.

Rick stopped Gabriel, who had grabbed his keys to open the church door. ''We'd like to check it out first, we'd want to hold on to our squirrels.'' He mocked Gabriel, who hesitantly gave him the key.

I grabbed my handgun out of its holster and raised it, as Rick barged in through the front door with Michonne and Daryl right behind him. I followed them and we all walked around the church.

The church seemed to be untouched by the apocalypse, it seemed like Gabriel kept it clean and well. The inside of the church was white too, the walls and the ceiling were white, but the floor was brown wood, just like the benches. At the end of the church was an alter with a statue of Jesus Christ hanging from the cross, like any typical church. There were two other rooms in the church, one in the left corner and the other in the right corner. Michonne went into the left room and Glenn went into the right one.

I walked over to the back of the church, where Rick and Daryl were standing. When I appeared next to them, my eyes flew over the the dozens of empty cans pushed up against the wall, surrounding the statue of Jesus. We all shared a look before Rick whistled, telling the rest to come inside.

Abraham was talking about some bus that Gabriel had, about how we had transport. Rick quickly told him that we needed supplies, that we wouldn't survive long without them. To be honest, I was glad to have a break, to not having to watch my back, but I also knew we had to keep moving.

I still felt like we were being watched, I just wanted to get away from Terminus as fast as we could.

''Where did your supplies come from?'' Rick asked Gabriel.

''Luck.'' He said with a slight smile and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. ''Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart after we finished it, it was just me.''

Rick handed Judith over to Carl and I walked over to Olivia, who was dumping her things on one of the benches.

''I scavenged every place nearby, except one.''

''What kept you from it?'' Rick asked,

''It's overrun.'' Gabriel said, his eyes watching Rick.

''How many?''

''A dozen or so.'' Rick glanced over at us and Sasha nodded.

''We can handle a dozen.'' Rick stated.

''Bob and I will go with you.'' Sasha told him and Rick nodded.

''I'll stay here, watch Judith.'' I offered and Rick nodded.

''Thank you, I'm grateful for that.'' I just shrugged, saying it was nothing. I'd grown quite fond of Judith, after having her with me 24/7, you'd grow fond of her too.

''I'll draw you a map.'' Gabriel spoke up and Rick turned over to him.

''You're coming with us.'' He stated and Gabriel visibly gulped, obviously horrified of the idea.

''I'm not gonna be much help.'' He tried, starting to shake a bit.

''You're coming with us.'' Rick repeated, not leaving any room for a discussion.

They didn't leave long after that. Maggie, Glenn and Tara had decided to go check out the gun store, see if anything was left. Abraham had started to go and tinker with the bus that was outside, Rosita went along. Carl was currently playing with Judith, with me sitting next to them. Tyreese was talking with Eugene, and Gabriel was observing us all.

My eyes found Olivia and I suddenly remembered something. I jumped up and walked over to her.

''Liv!'' I said and she turned around, her eyes leaving the quote that was written on the wall. ''I was thinking,'' I started, '' would you teach me how to use your bow?'' I pointed at her compound bow that was strapped across her chest. Her hands went over to the weapon almost automatically as she slowly nodded.

''Sure.''

''Oh for fucks sake!'' I yelled as I watched the arrow completely miss the target.

''You gotta calm down.'' She said, her voice full of amusement. When I turned my head to look at her she was holding her hand in front of her mouth, trying to stop laughing.

''I am calm!'' I yelled, but when I realized how I sounded I started to laugh. I absolutely sucked at archery. We had been practicing for about half an hour and I still hadn't hit the target, which was a tree.

We were behind the church, trying to teach my some archery, but it didn't really work.

''I'm gonna try one more time.'' I told her and placed the arrow on the bow. I aimed and pulled the string back, looking through the bow sight. I took a deep breath in and out, focusing on the tree, which was about 15 yards away. When my arm started to shake, I let the arrow go and watched how it, again, didn't hit the target.

''Great.'' I mumbled, giving the bow back to Olivia.

''I'm gonna get the arrows.'' I told her as I walked over the the small woods. I had shot 4 times, which meant I had to find four arrows. The first one was quite easy to find, it was a few feet away from the target tree, so that meant I'd  
style="font-style: italic; font-size: 16pt;"almosthit the target. The second arrow was also easily found, but for the remaining two arrows I needed to trudge deeper in the woods.

When I caught sight of the third arrow I whispered a 'yes' and quickly ran towards it, grabbing it. These woods gave me the creeps, it was too silent in here. I just needed to find the last one. Next to me I heard a twig snap and I swiftly turned to the sound, trying to discover the source of the sound.

''Who's there?'' I said, trying not to be too loud, in case there were some walkers close. I didn't hear any groaning or snarling so the sound wasn't made by a walker. What if it was made by an animal? Then I'd just scared dinner away.

I crouched down and shuffled towards the sound, hoping that whatever animal made the sound was still there. As I pushed a few branches away, my eyes searched the area. I let out a gasp when I saw a dark figure, standing among the trees.

I swiftly pulled out my gun and aimed it at the figure.

''I can see you!'' I told the shadow.

''Come out!'' I yelled again, walking forwards. I cocked my gun, planning on shooting it when a terrified scream filled my ears. Olivia.

I looked at the figure for a few more seconds before deciding Olivia was more important. I turner around and startee to run back in the direction of the church. I tripped a few times, which caused me to get a few scratched on my arms and face, but I ignored the stinging.

When I got back to the church I saw Olivia, pinned to the ground by a walker. She had her arm against the walkers neck, keeping it away from her.

''Aubrey!'' She yelled as she saw me. I grabbed my machete and without hesitation smashed it in the walkers head. The walker collapsed on Olivia. Olivia lay there, panting, closing her eyes. After a few second she pushed the walker of off her and I reached out my hand for her to grab. She did and I pulled her up.

''Thanks.'' She whispered, leaning on my shoulder.

''Liv, we need to go inside the church. Someone's out here, watching us.''

''You saw them _again_?'' She asked me and I nodded.

''Guess this was enough practice for today.'' She chuckled.


	41. Chapter 41

It wasn't long before everyone was back and that was when everything turned serious. Rick had gathered everyone together and now we were discussing our options.

''I say we leave.'' I told them, ''Abraham, is the bus working?'' I directed my question to him and he shook his head.

''It'll take at least another day or two.'' I frowned at that answer and pressed my lips together, we couldn't wait another two days, what if these people that were following us attacked before then?

''They'll follow us if we leave.'' Maggie said, ''Unless we have a vehicle or vehicles, we can't leave.'' All our eyes went over to Rick for an answer, who was pinching the bridge of his nose and frowning.

''Are you sure there's someone out there?'' He tried, unconvinced of his own words.

''Yes, I wouldn't just make this up.'' I told him. Sasha was pacing around the church, a frown was set on her face and she suddenly turned to Gabriel.

''This is all you!'' She snapped at Gabriel, pushing a finger against her chest. ''Aubrey starts seeing people and a day later you show up! This is all connected, you know what's going on here! What do those people want? Tell us!'' She grabbed her knife out of her holster and clenched it in her fist.

Tyreese was quick to grab her shoulder, ''Sasha, put the knife down.'' He told her and Rick quickly stepped forward to Gabriel.

''What did you do.'' He said to him,

''I-I don't have anything to do with this.'' Gabriel stammered.

''You did something.'' He told him, '' _You'll burn for this,_ on the wall outside. That was meant for _you_  
style="font-size: 16pt;".'' He grabbed Gabriel by his collar, pulling him closer.

''What did you do!'' Rick yelled in his face, I exchanged a look with Daryl and we both shuffled a little closer to the pair.

At this point, Gabriel was shaking with fear as we were all staring him down. I didn't think Gabriel did this, he was too weak to do something like this. Gabriel's bottom lip quivered and there was a small layer of sweat forming on his bald head.

Unsurprisingly, he started to sob. Rick let go of his collar and Gabriel fell to the floor, his knees drawn to his chest.

''I always lock the doors at night- I always lock the doors-'' He sobbed and we all gave him a confused look. ''When everything started, people came here for a safe place, they wanted to feel safe-'' I pressed my lips together as I guessed what he was going to say next.

''I turned them all away. They kept screaming at me for help, so the dead came for them.'' I couldn't see Rick's face but I saw his shoulders tense up at Gabriel's words, ''They screamed at me, damned me to hell.''

I looked away from Gabriel's crying figure, not wanting to hear anymore of his words. What kind of priest was he? My hands clenched into fists and when I looked beside me, I saw Daryl was doing the same.

''Kill me,'' He pleaded, ''God sent you to punish me, please kill me.'' Instead of listening to Gabriel's pleas, Rick stepped away from him.

''What are you doing?'' Sasha furiously asked him. She took a step forward, but was instantly stopped by Tyreese who slowly put a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

It was quite dark in the church, the only light coming from the candles we'd put up. The darkness made everything more intense, it seemed as if someone could just burst through the front door and kill us all. So, when Rick stepped away from Gabriel and turned to us, his face illuminated by the candles, he gave off a strange vibe.

''I believe him.'' He said to no one in particular.

''So what are we gonna do?" Tara asked, and we all stayed quiet. No one knew what was going to happen. We had no idea what we were up against. We didn't know their numbers, or motivation. Maybe we were all just exaggerating, maybe, just maybe, they didn't want to hurt us. The weird feeling in my stomach told me otherwise.

''We're staying here for tonight, we'll leave in the morning.'' Rick told us, ''Head for Washington.'' That earned him a nod from Abraham, a small smile covering his face. When my eyes turned to Eugene I saw that he was just nervously sitting on the bench, staring at nothing in front of him, glazing.

Despite the tense situation, we all sat together and ate the food that Rick and the rest had gotten at the food-bank. I was sitting next to Daryl, our shoulders touching. Everyone was softly talking and laughing with each other. I watched as Olivia was having a conversation with Rosita and Tara, and Rick was playing with Judith. My eyes went over to Sasha and Bob who were huddled together, giving each other a kiss.

My mind went back to the day when the Governor attacked, it seemed like ages ago. Right before he broke through the walls, Daryl and I had come very close to kissing. But now, it seemed like none of that had ever happened. I knew Daryl wasn't the best with this kind of thing, hell, I wasn't either. I'd tried to push it out of my mind, hoping Daryl would come to me about it. But, I think we all knew that that wasn't going to happen. If I wanted to have that conversation with him, I had to be the one to start it.

But now just didn't seem like the time. I would talk with him, just not yet.

''What are you thinking about?'' I asked him, since he'd been staring at his hands for a while now, fumbling with them. He hummed,

''Nothin''' He mumbled and he turned his head to look me in the eyes. His dark hair had grown quite a lot and was now almost hanging in front of his eyes. The dirt and sweat made it stick against his forehead and I wondered if he ever tried to wash it, probably not.

I decided not to question any further, if Daryl wanted to share his thoughts, he would, most of the times.

''You sure?'' I asked him, just to make sure that he had a chance to tell me about whatever he was thinking. I didn't want the same thing to happen that happened with Olivia.

''Yeah, just thinkin' about some stuff.'' He answered as vaguely as possible. I nodded and placed my hand over his, after a few seconds of hesitation he awkwardly wrapped his hand around mine, not even glancing at me as he did.

I softly smiled down at the intertwined hands and leaned against the bench behind me. The soft laughter around us seemed to calm me down, make me feel tired.

It wasn't long after that that I fell asleep, my hand still holding Daryl's in a soft grip.

 _I clenched the gun in my hand, staring down at the 3 bodies on the ground. All of the bodies had one hole in their head, stopping them from coming back. As a lump formed in my throat, I forced the tears down, refusing to let them spill from my eyes._

 _My gaze went over to the 4 remaining men, standing behind the bodies of my family. While some of them were watching the bodies with disgust and horror on their faces, other were grinning at them. The anger in my chest grew and without a second of hesitation I aimed my gun at them. I shot two of them in the head before they'd even noticed. The third one aimed it at me, but before he could pull the trigger he was already on the ground with a hole in his head, just like the others._

 _There was only one left._

 _I turned towards the fourth man, the one who had been in charge, the leader. His gun was aimed at me, trying to stay calm, but I could see the slight tremble his gun was making as it was pointed at me._

 _I aimed my gun at his leg and shot him. He screamed out in pain as he dropped his gun and clutched his leg. He collapsed onto the ground and I stalked over to him, my gun pointed at his head._

 _''I told you I was going to kill you.'' I told him in a voice that didn't even sound like me._

 _At that moment, my mom appeared from her hiding place. Unlike me, the tears were streaming down her face, her cheeks and eyes red from crying. If I'd seen her like this, maybe, 5 minutes ago, I would have felt sympathy for her. But now, I just stared at her, my brain not looking at my mom, I was just looking at a person, a breathing person._

 _''Aubrey, it's over.'' She trembled, her voice barely audible in between her sobs._

 _I aimed my gun at the man, who's name I still didn't know, and shot him twice in his stomach. Another cry left the man's mouth, but I couldn't find it in me to care._

 _This man didn't deserve to live, not even as a walker. Who knows how many people it had already killed? Who knows how many people he would kill if I don't stop him. No. That was never going to happen. What happened to me, would never happen again because of this man._

 _''It's not over, until he's dead.'' At those words the man below me, who was already crying, started to let out horrifying sobs. Under normal circumstances, he would have given me goosebumps, but now I just tilted my head a bit and stared at him._

 _''Please don't kill me!'' He cried, one hand clutching his stomach and the other his leg. I grabbed him by his leg, clutching it between my hands, as he screamed out in pain._

 _''You don't get to beg.'' I growled. I slowly stood up again taking my gun in my hand._

 _'No..Please.. Aubrey..'' I ignored her pleas as I loaded my gun, I'd used up all my ammo on the ones that were lying on the ground._

 _''A-Aubrey'' I raised my gun, tuning the woman's voice out. The scariest thing was.. I didn't hesitate a second._

 _I pulled the trigger._

 _''AUBREY!''_


	42. Chapter 42

The next day was just walking, and walking, and walking. It was though, having to keep moving the whole day long. Fortunately, we'd had a good meal last night, making the walking a bit more bearable. Sadly, we couldn't bring all the food, so we left some in the bus that Abraham was so keen on fixing and promised him that we'd be back.

Instead of just heading straight to Washington, we were planning on walking in a circle. If we found another form of transportation before getting back to the church, we'd take it and head to DC. If we didn't, we hoped that whoever was following us, had given up or had lost us, so that we could go back to the church and fix the bus.

At first, Abraham wasn't a fan of the plan, but Glenn managed to convince him. I had no idea what he'd said, but at first Abraham seemed even more furious and eventually he calmed down, agreeing with the plan.

I thought back to the nightmare I had yesterday, ever since the prison had been overrun, slowly the nightmares had come back. Last night, it was definitely the worst yet. I'd pushed that moment out of my life, not wanting to think about it. It had happened, I wasn't proud of it, but I didn't regret it. I regretted ever letting those men go when we first saw them, if I knew what would happen, I would have shot them as soon as I looked at them.

But somewhere I knew that no one could have known what would happen, I knew that. I just felt guilty, it was just something I'd have to live with.

We all stopped walking when we rounded a corner. I looked over to Rick and saw his eyes widen. Right in front of us, there was a mall. It was still, at least, a few miles away, but we all saw opportunities lying there.

There could be food, medicine, we were running low on medicine. But above all, there could be a vehicle, transportation. We could get out of here, to Washington. But if there were supplies there'd be walkers, or trouble at least.

''We can't all go.'' I spoke up, reading everyone's thoughts ''It's not safe.'' If we'd all go in there and died, then everything would be over. Eugene wouldn't be able to go to Washington and stop all this. What would happen after all this? Would the group go in separate ways? Would we stick together? What was I going to do? I didn't have a lot left, except these people, they were my family now.

''Aubrey's right, it's too dangerous.'' Rick agreed with me.

''I'll go.'' Glenn volunteered and I repeated his sentence, stating I would go too.

''I'm in.'' Daryl mumbled right after my enrollment. My eyes flickered over to him, but he was already looking at Rick. Rick was looking at the rest of the group, thinking about the numbers he needed to do this.

''Okay, so we need supplies and vehicles. We need at least 5 people.'' Rick's eyes went over to Michonne at the same time that Bob stepped forward.

''I'll go with you.'' He stated. Sasha stepped in front of him.

''No, you don't have to.'' She said, placing both hands on his chest.

''It's okay, I'll be back.'' Sasha seemed to consider his words for a moment, not knowing if she should stop him or let him go, before she let out a sigh and removed her hands from his chest, folding them over her chest.

Bob smiled smugly as he leaned in and kissed Sasha real quick. Sasha chuckled a bit and joined in.

''One more.'' He said and she leaned in to give him another peck.

''One more.'' He repeated and this time Sasha just scoffed and pushed him away playfully.

I walked over to Olivia, who was pouting a bit at the end of the group. She was picking with her fingers on her compound bow, trying to ignore everyone around her. Rosita was next to her, talking to Abraham.

''Liv,'' I said, drawing her attention. She looked up from her bow, lowering it. ''Why didn't you volunteer to go?'' I questioned her. It was very unlike Olivia to pass up an opportunity to kill some walkers or go on a run. Now that I thought about it, she also didn't go to any of the runs when we were at the church.

''Thought it would be best if I didn't.'' She mumbled, refusing to look me in the eye, she was picking at her bow again, distracting herself. I frowned at her behavior, I wanted to ask her, but behind me Rick was calling my name, telling me we were going.

''You can still come with, if you want?'' I offered, hoping that an invitation would change her mind. There were a few seconds where none of us spoke a word. I was hoping she would recoil and say yes, or at least explain to me what was going on.

''Aubrey! Let's go!'' Glenn yelled from only a few feet away. I rolled my eyes at them and directed them at Olivia.

''You sure?'' I questioned. She just nodded, still not looking me in the eye.

''Okay be safe.'' I told her a bit unsure.

''You too.''

It was strange for Olivia to be so.. introvert. Most of the time she would speak her mind, tell me her opinion on any situation. Even after the apocalypse she had, she always decided everything herself, never asked permission for anything. And now she just flat out refused, without giving a reason.

 _'Thought it would be best if I didn't_.'

What did that mean? I wondered if maybe she knew something that we didn't.

''Hey,'' I heard someone say beside me and I looked up to see Daryl, ''Gotta stay focused, no use in you runnin' around like a chicken.'' I nodded, knowing that he was right. I'll worry about Olivia later, right now we needed to get into the mall, grab everything necessary and get out without being seen.

We were hiding behind a car,in the parking lot of the mall, watching it from up close. It would be difficult to check all the cars, because the place was absolutely swarming with walkers. Outside had to be at least 40 walkers, and who knew how many there'd be inside. I was starting to feel unsure if this was actually worth it.

''This is what we're gonna do.'' Rick said, turning around to face us. ''Daryl and Glenn are going to get a walker from the right, Bob and I from the left. We cover ourselves with the insides and walk right through them.''

''Wait,'' I stopped him, ''what about me?''

''You take watch.'' Rick said and I gave him an annoyed look.

''You gotta be kidding me. I've done this hundreds of times and now you-''

''That's how we're gonna do it.'' He interrupted me and I narrowed my eyes at him. He had to be joking. I used to do this daily and now he was going to put me on watch-duty. Dick move Rick, Dick move.

''We need you to keep watch, for if something goes wrong.''

''Fine.'' I grumbled, letting him know that I wasn't a fan of his idea. I crossed my arms over each other and let myself fall down on my butt leaning against the car.

I ignored the looks I got from the rest of the group and grabbed a machine gun with a silencer from the bag we'd brought, letting it rest on the hood of the car.

''Good luck.'' I said to no one in particular and they all gave me a soft thanks before shuffling over to the walkers.

I watched Daryl and Glenn shuffle towards a walker and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rick and Bob do the same thing. So far so good. Daryl and Glenn took the walker out with ease, Daryl stabbing a walker who had noticed them and it wasn't long before they changed direction, back to the car, dragging the dead body with them. Rick and Bob seemed to have a bit more trouble with finding a walker. On the left side, the walker were more clustered together, so taking one down would end in having to take more down.

Daryl and Glenn were halfway to the car,when Rick and Bob decided to go for it and took out one. There were a few walkers who had noticed and Rick and Bob pressed their backs against each other, so that they couldn't be jumped. Rick was the first to step forward and smash his machete in a walkers head, Bob swiftly followed his movement and they began to take out the walkers that had noticed them. But all their movement, attracted even more walkers, like a chain reaction and Daryl and Glenn quickly went over to help.

When I told them I wanted to come too, they quickly dismissed it, saying I should make sure that more walkers wouldn't come from a different direction. It wasn't the plan I'd chosen, but it was fine.

Things were slowly starting to get out of hand and when Bob was suddenly grabbed by a walker and pulled to the ground, his scream covered the whole parking lot. Walkers turned their heads to detect the sound and when they saw the movement coming form the guys, they turned around and headed for the living.

''Shit.'' I mumbled and started to shoot the walkers. Fortunate for me, I had a silencer, which meant that no walker really noticed me. I could shoot them undetected and not worry about myself. The walkers were surrounding the guys more and more, and it was getting harder to take them down. It seemed like with every walker I shot, three more surrounded the group.

At this point Rick and the other didn't even bother to be quiet anymore. Rick was baffling order at everyone while trying to keep himself from being eaten. I had just aimed at a walker and pulled the trigger only to be met with a familiar _click_. Out of ammo.

I swiftly turned over to the bag, dragging it towards me and searching for more ammo. I swore I'd thrown another magazine in there. My heart skipped a beat when I heard the familiar set of groaning behind me. My eyes quickly turned upwards, to see three walkers stumbling towards me, they'd appeared out of the small set of trees surrounding the area.

They were at least a few yards away, giving me some time to search for the ammo. Where is it? Where is it? I'd thrown the bag upside down, watching the contents fall out. It wasn't there. No, no. When I looked up again I saw that the walkers were only a few feet away and I didn't have any time to hesitate. Right when the walker let itself fall, lunging at me, I'd grabbed my handgun and shot it in the head, his limp body falling on top of me.

Blood splatters covered my face and there was a faint ringing in my ear. With no time to recover, I quickly shot the other two walkers, watching them collapse onto the ground.

I let out a sigh when the direct danger was gone. I pushed the walker, that was still on top of me, off and turned back to the guys who were still fighting off walkers. I wiped the back of my hand across my lips, getting rid of the walker blood there.

The gunshot seemed to have rang a damn dinner bell, cause more walkers were coming towards my direction. I cursed myself as I aimed at them. I wasn't going to lie, shooting with the machine gun was so much easier than shooting with a handgun. So now I had two things to look out for, I had to make sure Daryl, Rick, Glenn and Bob weren't being attacked from behind, and I had to make sure I wouldn't get attacked from behind, which mean I had to look behind me once in a while.

Well, another plan went completely wrong. But, when does anything ever go according to plan? The walkers that were inside the mall, were probably really roused up, searching for anything they could eat.

When I was out of ammo again, I refrained from grabbing another gun. I would take them on by hand. I grabbed a knife from the ground, that had fallen when I'd turned the bag upside down, and walked forward, stabbing the closest walker in the head. I regretted not bringing my machete, but I thought the others might need it, since we brought along most of the guns and weapons. Stabbing a walker with a knife was really different then a machete, with a machete you had some distance, with a knife you were up close with it. Plus, a machete was so much easier to take out afterwards, a knife got stuck easier.

So now it was the four of them fighting off walkers a few feet away, while I was trying to kill as many as I could on my own. it wasn't easy, my gunshots had attracted quite a few numbers of walkers, there had to be at least ten coming my way right now and five were pretty close.

I had just pulled out my knife when I heard groaning behind me. I swiftly turned around, my knife raised in case I had to bring it down, when the walker collapsed, an arrow in its head. My eyes looked right to see my favorite archer running over.

''Ya alright?'' He asked me, placing a hand on my cheek and tilting my head different ways, checking for injuries.

''I'm fine.'' I smiled up at him before turning back around and stabbing another walker in the head. He raised his crossbow and also shot one, pulling his arrow out afterwards.

''We heard gunshots.'' He said after pulling out his knife and also stabbing a dead corpse.

''I ran out of ammo and couldn't find a new magazine, so I had to use my handgun.'' I explained after watching another corpse fall down. He grumbled something, signaling he understood and we continued stabbing the undead. After about 20 minutes of stabbing, pulling and grunting, we were finally done, a few walkers stumbling towards us in the distance.

''Well, I guess this works too.'' I mumbled talking about the plan and I got a few annoyed looks. I just shrugged my shoulders and walked back to the car, starting to collect all the things that I'd dropped. I stuffed them back in the bag and swung it over my shoulder.

''Are we still going to cover ourselves?'' I questioned and after a few seconds of hesitation we all agreed that that was the best, if there was the same number of walkers on the inside as there had been on the outside, than hell would break loose, definitely.

* * *

We were shuffling in the mall, the view was absolutely breathtaking and creepy at the same time. Several ceiling plates had given up and were lying on the ground, which had caused a leaking. There was a tiny layer of water covering the floor, making small splashing sounds every step we took. Glass cracked under our shoes as we looked at the stores that had been robbed. They'd been robbed in the early outbreak, because all the jewelry stores and equipment stores had been emptied and the glass had been smashed.

Several tags had been graffitied on the walls. Things like: ' _The end is here_ ', ' _God will save us_ '. But also less older tags like: ' _Julie, go to the snack bar, we'll be there_ ' I frowned at that, what if there were people here? We hadn't crossed any walkers yet, which could mean this had been cleared out.

The stench of the dead hang around us like a cloud. I'd grabbed a vest from one of the walkers and wrapped it around me. I liked the shirt I was currently wearing, I didn't want to throw it away if I didn't have to.

The more useful stores were further in the back, which made me pretty uncomfortable. I wanted to get out of here as soon as I could, this place gave me the creeps. Like something was off.

It seemed like I wasn't the only one who thought so, everyone's guard was up and we all had a tense posture. Daryl and Rick were up front, checking everything out. Glenn, Bob and I were more in the back, a bit more spread out.

We all went into a small grocery store, seeing if we could find something. It seemed like quite a few people had been here already, so I didn't expect anything to be left.

I was walking next to Daryl, we were both checking the shelves when an idea popped up into my head.

''Daryl,'' I whispered, ''Give me an arrow.'' He raised an eyebrow but gave me one anyway, not questioning me, not verbally at least.

I crouched down, careful not to fall into any glass. I stuck the arrow under the shelves, searching for anything that might have rolled under the shelves. My tongue was slightly stuck out with concentration, searching for food. When the arrow touched something, I was quick to pull it out from under the shelves, finding it to be a bottle of whiskey.

''Oh,'' I said a bit disappointed, ''At least we have some alcohol.'' I picked it up and put it in my bag. This whole scene reminded me of when we were in the veterinarian college and Bob had put a bottle of whiskey in his bag, almost getting me killed.

''Never thought of you as a drinker.'' Daryl commented and I looked up, snorting a bit.

''No one's really a drinker anymore, Daryl. Or maybe we all are.'' I mumbled, returning his arrow after finding nothing. ''I don't even think I'm going to drink it, do you want it?'' I asked him but he just hummed and shook his head.

''Stopped a long time ago.'' That made my ears perk up a bit,

''Really? Why?''

''Drinking in this world ain't the smartest thing to do.'' He just said.

''So you did drink before?'' I poked a bit. I realized that I didn't really knew a lot about Daryl. He had a brother, his parents were both dead. He didn't have the happiest childhood, but he would never tell me why. Daryl snorted at my question.

''Hell yeah I did. First time was at a party, think I was around 15. Merle was older.'' He turned his head a bit to look at me while we walked around the store. ''Got shitfaced drunk for the first time, threw up all over the floor.'' He said, his hand motioning to the floor below us. ''I thought I was dying, but Merle just laughed it off and went home with some chick. Woke up there on the floor, next morning. My dad was pissed.''

I snorted,

''What?'' He sarcastically spat at me.

''You're a horrible story-teller.'' I chuckled and he scoffed at me, pushing my shoulder with his shoulder.

Our hearts sped up when we heard something fall over behind us, outside the store. We all turned around, ready to attack, but we couldn't see anything.

''I'll go check it out.'' I whispered.

''No.'' Daryl objected but I raised my eyebrow at him.

''I'll go with her.'' Bob said, and after a few second of silence, Daryl nodded. I grabbed my knife in one hand and placed my other on my gun in the holster.

When we walked out the store and into the hallway we heard it again, a faint banging on the wall. It stopped after two or three bangs. I turned my head to Bob, raising an eyebrow. We slowly kept walking towards it, making sure not to make any sudden movements.

''It's probably a walker,'' Bob said, ''Must be stuck.'' He explained after we heard the banging again. He walked over to a jewelry store, where the sound seemed to be coming from.

''Wait Bob,'' I stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder, ''Something's off. If it was a walker, then why does it only start moving now? Not when we walked past it?'' This seemed to alert Bob and he frowned.

''It could have been in the back of the store, walked towards the front and got stuck.'' He tried, but we both were a bit hesitant. I decided not to fret on it too much, what else could it be? If it was a person, we'd just yell and the other would come running. If it was a walker, we could easily take it out.

''Okay, let's go.'' I agreed and we shuffled over to the store. The glass was already broken, so we didn't need to open the door, we just stepped over the window. There was no walker in the front of the store, which made me question where it could be.

My heart started to pound with each second that passed and nothing happened. I gave Bob a concerned look, but he was already walking further to the back.

''Bob,'' I whispered, but he put his hand up, signaling for me to be quiet. I pressed my lips together and slowly followed him, clenching my knife into my hand.

I heard a slight crack behind me and turned around, my knife raised. A hand swiftly grabbed my wrist, stopping the knife's movement.

In front of me stood a man, I wasn't sure who he was, but he seemed familiar somehow.

''That wasn't smart.'' He said and before I had the time to comprehend what he said, something hit the back of my head and I could feel myself fall to the ground, losing consciousness.


	43. Chapter 43

'' _Look at that, that's the bitch who blew up our home_.''

'' _I want her thigh, seems to have the most fat on it._ ''

'' _Just wait your turn_.''

I grunted as I tried to open my eyes. My head was pounding, throat was dry and I was sure I had a concussion.

'' _I think she's awake_ ,'' A voice spoke, sounding vague. When I managed to open my eyes, everything seemed to be blurry and a slight panic started to set in. I tried to focus, make sure I could see, but when that didn't work I just shut my eyes tightly and grunted.

''Yep, she's awake.'' Someone said, sounding a bit more clear. I took a deep breath in and out, trying to calm down the headache. Trying to figure out what was going on. What I remembered.

I remembered me and Bob checking something out. Where was Bob? Where were Daryl, Rick and Glenn? How did I get here? Out of the mall? Was I even out the mall?

When I opened my eyes again, I saw clearer this time. In front of me was the guy that knocked me out. His brown hair slightly sticking against his forehead his brown eyes full of anger, even though he had a smile on his face.

''Ah, you're back with us, huh? Good news is you're not dead yet.'' He said, his face very close to mine, ''But try not to read too much into the word yet there.'' I frowned as he spoke, who was this guy?

''Who are you?'' I mumbled,

''Oh yeah that's right,'' He chuckled, ''You don't know who I am.'' He turned around and rummaged through his bag. While he did that I tried to look around. My hands were bound behind my back, my legs were tied too. Next to me was Bob, leaning against a pole, still unconscious.

We were definitely outside, the cold breeze of the night felt refreshing against my skin, cooling me down slightly, not that I paid a lot of attention to that. In front of me the guy seemed to be making a fire, if I could just raise my legs and push him in... But I wasn't sure if he would fall into the fire, if he didn't I would definitely be killed in an instant, if he did, I would also be dead. Behind him were 3 or 4 other people, looking at the conversation the guy and I were having.

''You may not know me, but you might now her.'' He said extending a photograph out to me. My eyes widened when I saw who was on the little piece of paper. The guy in front of me was standing in the picture, smiling and having his arms around a familiar woman. The woman I'd killed at Terminus, the one in the candle room.

Everything seemed to fall into place now. He was the son of the woman, he was from Terminus. That explained why he looked so familiar. That's why we felt like we'd been followed. We had been. My heart started to beat in my throat when I thought of what they were going to do. I prayed that Daryl and the other would come back on time for us, hoping we'd both have all of our limps.

''Yeah,'' He stretched out the word, ''I thought you might now her.'' I opened my mouth to speak, even though I had no idea what I would say, but Bob saved me from it. He let out a groan, his eyes fluttering open.

''Oh hello Bob, welcome back.'' He said, patting Bob's cheek.

''I want to explain myself a little.'' He said, his head slightly turning to me, suggestion I should listen too. ''You see, we didn't want to hurt you before. We didn't want to pull you away from your group or scare you. These aren't things that we _want_ to 're things we _got_ to do. You took away our home. That's fair play.'' He said , the last part direction towards me, narrowing his eyes a bit, before his face returned to that sickening smile.

''Now we're out here like everybody else trying to in order to do that, we have to hunt. Didn't start that way, eating people. It evolved into that. We evolved'' I felt sick to my stomach and had to force myself to take deep breaths so I wouldn't throw up.

''We had to. And now we've devolved into hunters.'' He turned to Bob, '' I told you. I said it. Can't go back, Bob. But at the end of the day, no matter how much we hate all this ugly business a man's got to eat.'' At that moment he took a bite out of the meat he was holding and my eyes widened. Since when did he have that? I quickly checked my own body, noticing that I still had everything, but when I turned to Bob, my heart sped up. He was missing a leg. My breathing started to quicken and so did Bob's.

''If it makes you feel any better you taste much better than we thought you would.''

''You dicks!'' I yelled, thrashing against my bonds. In comparison to me, Bob did absolutely nothing, he was just staring at the spot where his leg used to be and softly panting to himself. I noticed that Bob wasn't even bound, not that he could go anywhere.

''You sick bastards!'' I screamed at them. The guy in front of me didn't even do anything, he just stared at me, smiling.

''Gareth.'' Someone behind him said and the guy in front of me turned around. So that was his name.

''What?'' Gareth asked, a bit annoyed.

''She shouldn't yell like that, it'll attract roamers.'' A guy with a baseball bat told him, he reminded me a bit of Martinez, I wondered if he was still alive.

Gareth just rolled his eyes and turned to me.

''I can't wait to taste you.'' He mumbled, ''I like women better. Most of us do.'' I shivered and stopped thrashing around. I pressed my lips together, not wanting to cry.

''My brother Alex has- also currently dead because of you guys- he had a theory that it was because of the extra layer of fat that women have, you know, for childbearing. Even the skinny girls have it.'' He said and I looked behind Gareth to see the rest of Gareth's crew looking at us, there were 2 guys and one girl.

''Most of the time we do it fast,'' He said, pointing at Bob's leg, who was still looking at the ground. ''But with you, I think we're gonna do it slow.'' He chuckled a bit, ''Oh yeah, definitely slow.''

Suddenly Bob started to cry, sobs escaped his mouth and Gareth and the others turned to look at him.

''Well, he's lost it.'' The girl said, not really caring about him. But slowly the sobs started to change into laughter and I frowned at Bob, did he really lose it?

''You- you idiots.'' Bob laughed, shaking his head silently. I started to try and wriggle my wrists out of the bonds, they were rope, that made it easier, if it were duct tape I would have been screwed.

''Shut up.'' Gareth said, rolling his eyes. Bob reached up to his shirt and pulled it down to reveal a bite mark.

''I've been bitten, you stupid pricks! I'm tainted meat.'' He yelled and I froze. Bob was bitten, Bob was bitten. But he seemed fine before, he never looked bitten. While I was frozen in shock, looking at the bite on Bob's collar bone, chaos erupted around me. Everyone was panicking, throwing up their food. Gareth was yelling at them, ordering them to calm down.

''We cooked him! We're gonna be fine.'' Gareth said, trying to keep his calm.

''Tainted meat!'' He screamed and Gareth swiftly kicked him in the face, knocking him out.

It had been half a day, Bob still hadn't turned, and so hadn't Gareth and his people. Even though Bob was still alive, he didn't look good. Sweat was now constantly coating his body and his breathing was becoming rough and it seemed like he didn't get enough air with each breath he took.

Also with each minute that passed, I started to get more and more nervous. They had to eat any minute now, they probably weren't planning on just letting us go and they wouldn't eat Bob. So I was the only option they had, unless they suddenly turned vegetarian or something.

I'd seen the looks Gareth had given me, he couldn't wait to start with me. But I had no idea what stopped him from doing so. There was no way I could get out here on my own. First, I could never handle 4 people at once and second, I would never leave Bob behind to just die and turn. But waiting for rescue was also not something I should do.

''Bob,'' I whispered, they'd bound him too, against the pole. He looked up from the ground and over to me, his gaze flickering to the Hunters.

''Can you reach me?'' I asked him, but he slowly shook his head, letting me know that he couldn't. I pressed my lips together, thinking of what to say to him. ''Bob- I'm sorry.'' I started, letting a few tears fall.

''It's okay.'' Was the only thing he said.

I sighed, letting my head fall. I'd hoped that Rick and the rest had already come charging through the trees and killed every single one of them. There seemed to be only four of them, if there would have been more they'd have already shown their faces.

I gasped when Gareth suddenly turned around and stalked over to me.

''It's time.'' Was the only thing he said and I felt my breathing quicken.

''N-No please, I-''

''Save it.'' Gareth interrupted me. The one that reminded me of Martinez handed Gareth a machete and I started to shake.

''Okay, so I was thinking-'' He started pointing the machete at my body and tilting his head a bit.

''Wait.'' I spoke up a bit louder. ''You can't do this.'' Gareth let out a very dramatic sigh and leaned closer to me.

''Yeah?'' He question, leaning over to my ear, ''What are you going to do about it?'' He whispered, sending goosebumps over my skin. His cheek was practically pressed against mine and my lips were at his ear. So I did the only thing I could think of, I opened my mouth and bit down hard on his ear.

Gareth let out a scream and his first reaction was to pull away. I refused to let go of his ear and even bit down a bit harder, tasting blood.

''You bitch!'' He yelled and he pulled away again. It took me a while to comprehend what had happened when I saw Gareth in front of me, holding the place where his ear was. Blood was pouring out of the wound and I quickly spit out a part of Gareth's ear, feeling nauseous.

I spit a few more times, to get rid of the blood in my mouth and the disgustingness of the situation. Everyone seemed to be in shock, including myself.

Gareth was the first one to come out of the shock and he grabbed the machete that he had dropped when I bit on his ear. He grinned at the machete and then back to me.

''Maybe I should return the favor.'' He said pointing to my ear. He turned around to see if his other companions agreed and when they all nodded, some a bit more hesitant then others, he leaned in closer to my ear. I pressed my lips together, praying for something to happen, hoping that he'd be distracted. But at the same time I also thought, if he started at my ear instead of just chopping off my leg or something, the others had more time to find us and I had more time to come up with a plan.

As soon as his mouth touched my ear I started to feel nauseous all over again. At first he was soft, as he was playing with it, but soon he started to bite down. I had my lips pressed together to keep myself from screaming, but when he started to bite down harder I couldn't help myself and started to scream.

I trashed around, trying to kick my legs in any direction I could, hoping to hit something. Trying to wriggle out of my wrists. My eyes were shut tight, hoping it would be over soon. Tears streamed down my face at the feeling and every instinct was screaming at me to move my head, but I knew that'd only make things worse.

I thought of all the things I could have been doing, if I hadn't come with. I could have talked to Olivia, figured out why she wouldn't come with. I could have been on a trip to Washington right now, trying to safe the world. I'd never see little Judith's face again, never see her grow up, see Carl grow up. I'd never get that talk with Daryl that I kept procrastinating. Daryl was ready alright, but I just wasn't.

Suddenly there was the sound of a gun cocking.

''Stop.'' Someone said. Gareth's teeth were removed from my ear and I let out a sigh of relief, letting out a whimper when I felt the stinging in my ear. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at Gareth's face in front of me. He was still grinning, especially when he saw my face.

Then I looked behind him and I could cry with relief when I saw Rick standing behind him, his gun pressed against the back of Gareth's head. I looked over to Bob to see Sasha leaning over him, holding his face. My bounds were cut and my hands instantly reached over to my ear. It was still there, but when I pulled my hand back it was covered in blood.

''Are you okay?'' Rick asked and I nodded, even though I wasn't okay.

I looked behind me to see who had unbound me and let out a shaky sigh when I saw Daryl. He grabbed me by my chin and took a good look at my ear, his face cringing a bit when he saw it. While he looked at my ear, I couldn't help but look at his face. His blue eyes were filled with worry and his forehead wrinkled a bit as he frowned.

''Don't worry, You should see the other guy.'' I tried to joke, pointing at the place where Gareth's ear used to be.

''Bitch.'' Gareth mumbled, but I just ignored him.

I turned my head, looking for a certain face. I saw Michonne holding her katana to the girls neck. Sasha had gotten up and now stood behind one of Gareth's men along with Abraham. My eyes found the guy that reminded me of Martinez and the person I was looking for stood right behind him. Olivia had her gun in her hand, but it wasn't pointed at him. She didn't seem to see the point in it. He was surrounded, if he tried anything he'd die in a second.

Olivia was looking at me and I walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug. Glad she was alive.

''I'm sorry I should have come with you.'' She apologized, but I shook my head.

''No, you shouldn't have.'' I reassured her, ruffling her dark hair a bit. She scoffed at me before pointing to my ear.

''We're gonna have to clean that up.'' She said and I nodded. I turned back to Gareth, who was staring at Rick with a rage in his eyes.

''You ruined everything.'' He growled first at Rick, then turning to me, repeating those words. ''You ruined everything!''

''We used to help people!'' He clutched his left ear, blood still pouring out of it. ''We saved people! Things changed. They came in and-'' He stopped to groan, my hand was itching towards my gun, trying to ignore the temptation of shooting him. '' After that, I know that you've been out there, but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry.''

I shivered at those words, thinking about how close I had been to being food, how Bob had been food. How so many other people had been, women, children.

''You don't have to do this. We can walk away. And we will never cross paths again. I promise you.'' He begged, slightly bent over.

''But you'll cross someone's path. You'd do this to anyone, right?" Rick said, tilting his head a bit, "Besides, I already made you a promise.'' With those words he lowered his gun and pulled his machete out of his belt. With one swift movement he slashed it into Gareth's head.

I quickly looked away and closed my eyes when he whacked his machete in Gareth's head again, and again, and again. It seemed like as soon as Rick had killed Gareth, he'd signaled the others, since they all started to violently kill what was left of the group.

Abraham slammed the but of his gun against the woman's face, multiple times. Sasha stabbed the man who's name I never knew over and over again, and Olivia kicked the Martinez guy a few times, slamming her boot in his face, before ending it with her compound bow.

I gave Daryl a look as I slightly stumbled towards him. I saw Glenn, Michonne and Maggie also look with a worried stare.

After one final swing, Rick let out a sigh and backed away from Gareth's body, or what was left of it.

''Let's go.'' He said.


	44. Chapter 44

When we had rejoined with the rest of the group, which was Gabriel, Carl, Judith, Tyreese, Tara and Eugene, we had searched for a house where we could lay Bob down. Sasha was absolutely devastated, not talking to anyone but Bob, she hadn't left his side since they'd found us. She knew that there was nothing we could do for him, but that didn't help her in the slightest.

The house we'd found was a regular two story house, on the side of the road. There was only one walker inside, he seemed to be a new one, he had a gun on him and some batteries. Cause of death was a knife to the chest. It didn't really make us feel comfortable, but we were with 17, kids included, so I think we had a fair change if we didn't split up.

Under normal circumstances, Bob would have been the one to fix my ear up, he offered to do so, but I gladly refused, not wanting to bother him in his last moments. Apparently it had happened outside the mall, in the parking lot. One of the walkers had accidentally pulled him down and gotten a bite out of his collar, Rick was the only one who knew and they had decided to tell us when they got back from the mall. But that didn't really go according to plan. He'd gotten even weaker then a few hours ago, he grunted every time he had to move and his sentences were barely audible. So I asked Eugene to check my ear, since he was the one to come closest to a med.I would have cleaned up my ear myself, but it was a bit hard without a mirror here.

Fortunate for me, it was only a quite large bite wound, nothing had been ripped off. Eugene told me it would leave one hell of a scar, but at least it would heal. He bandaged it up and told me to check up with him every two days for signs of infection. It was all a bit strange to go to Eugene for help instead of Bob, as if he was dead already.

Lucky for us, the house had a fireplace and we were all huddles up by the fire with Abraham on watch. I'd offered to take first watch, but everyone told me I should rest up after the day we had. I'd take the watch after Rick's, which was the one's after Abraham, so I had third watch. We'd grabbed every blanket, pillow and mattress nearby, creating a floor of covers. On my right were Maggie and Glenn, snuggled up against each other and I couldn't help but smile as I watched them sleep. It's not as creepy as it sounds, I promise.

Glenn and Maggie were definitely the cutest couple I had ever met so far, they'd accepted their differences and loved each other through thick and thin. It was very inspiring to see that even though there were so many bad things in this world, there were still some good things left.

I shifted on the ground, turning onto my left side instead of my right. Now facing away from Glenn and Maggie and towards the empty spot where Daryl was supposed to lie. I wasn't sure where he'd gone off too. He would do that sometimes, just walk off, wander around, checking the surroundings. I wasn't sure if he was just paranoid, or needed to clear his mind, I just thought it was best to let him. It didn't seem like anyone was worried about Daryl when he did that, he always came back within the hour, never covered in blood or anything.

I was always very tempted to go up and follow him, curious to where he was going and what he was doing. But I knew that if it were me, I wouldn't want him to.

I sighed, turning onto my back and looking up at the ceiling. The sleep just wouldn't come tonight and it seemed like everyone else in the room was already sound asleep. I was tempted to go outside and just go see what Abraham was doing, Rosita was in here, so it wouldn't be like I was interrupting something. With another sigh I sat up straight, throwing the covers off of me and tiptoeing outside. Careful not to wake anyone.

When I opened the door Abraham was leaning against the porch railing, his shotgun in his hand as he was staring off in the distance. His eyes were a bit narrowed, but not because he was focusing in something in the distance, more like he was thinking about something. As if he was very concentrated. I was thinking about going back, feeling a bit awkward since he was so deep in thought, when Abraham seemed to snap out of whatever he was doing and his head turned to me.

''Aubrey!'' He softly said, smiling to cover up whatever he was thinking, but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

''Sup soldier?'' I joked, punching his broad shoulder lightly and trying not to wince when it felt like I was punching a rock.

''Nothing, everything's quiet.'' He said, looking back at the view. Not that there was a lot of view, the moon wasn't very bright this night so it didn't really light up our surroundings. I saw his eyes flicker to every direction that was visible, he was nervous.

''Is it making you uncomfortable? The quiet?'' I questioned, also leaning on the railing next to him. He didn't say anything, which made me assume that I had been right. I decided not to push him, enjoying the quiet right now. The only time it could be actually quiet, was at night, and even then you could sometimes hear the groaning from walkers further away. But right now, everything was quiet, not a thing could be heard except out breathing.

''It seems like everything in the world is trying to stop us from going to Washington.'' Abraham suddenly spoke up and I turned my head, looking at him. ''With every step we take forwards, we take three steps back.'' There was another silence, I wasn't sure if he was waiting for me to speak, since I was just letting him ramble, making sure he spoke his mind, not that he seemed to have any trouble with that.

''And I'm damn sick of it.'' He grumbled, pushing himself away from the railing and clenching his fists almost on compulsion.

"We'll get there.'' I reassured him, ''We'll get _him_ there.'' He just grumbled something under his breath, I wanted to ask him what, but at that moment Rick stepped outside, rubbing his eyes.

''Aubrey?'' He asked confused, his eyes flickering over to Abraham and back to me.

''Couldn't sleep.'' I shrugged at him and nodded.

''I'm here to take over your watch.'' He directed towards Abraham, who nodded and grabbed his shotgun, walking back inside.

''You know, I can take your watch. You need your sleep.'' I offered and I saw he was hesitating slightly, not sure if he should let me take over his watch.

''Are you sure?'' He asked me, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was something he seemed to do an awful lot, it was his tic for when he's stressed.

''I'm sure.'' I gave him a smile, letting him know that I didn't mind. It was always better than just lying inside the house, not being able to sleep. At least someone would get some sleep, it was even better that it was Rick's watch I was taking over. He seemed to have a lot of trouble sleeping, the dark circles under his eyes were almost permanently there, refusing to leave him. And with every bad nights of sleep he got, the more reckless he became.

With a pat on my shoulder, Rick turned around and walked back into the house, leaving me alone again.

The only thing that could be heard was the soft chirping of crickets and an occasional bird that would fly away. It was almost peaceful, if you didn't think about the thousand, probably millions, of flesh eating dead people were walking around the earth.

When I used to be little, I always thought that whatever would happen, my family and I would stay together. Of course I knew that we wouldn't be together forever, I had always just imagined that my parents would die of old age, and that my little sister, my brother and I would mourn for them, but eventually accept our losses and continue living. That all changed when Ian passed away, changing my perception of how the world actually was.

I saw how bad my parents were hurt by the death of my older brother, and I promised myself not to have any children, so I would never feel the death of my own child. During my years of growing up and getting older, I always doubted my decision, but now I was happy I had made that decision. I couldn't imagine raising my kids in this world, having to teach them the horrors about killing the undead, and even humans. You could clearly see what this new world had done to Carl, he had this rage in him, it had gotten better since the prison, but you could still see it. You could see it in his eyes. He wasn't scared of doing the things he had to do.

Judith on the other hand, she'll grow up in this world, she'll never know about the world before the apocalypse. I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or a good thing. I imagined Judith at the age of 16, ready to do whatever it takes to keep her family alive. She would never be scared to kill walkers, or probably even humans. I wondered if I-

Somewhere on my right a twig snapped and I swiftly grabbed my gun, aiming it in the direction of the sound. There was a bit of ruffling, before the bushes were bushed aside and Daryl stepped towards the house. With a sigh I lowered my gun and put it back in its holster.

''You scared me to death.'' I said, placing my hand on my heart dramatically. Daryl scoffed at my reaction.

''Ya don't look dead.'' He mumbled, stepping on the porch and standing next to me.

This was my chance, I could have that talk that I kept procrastinating. I wanted to have that talk, but there was this part of my mind that kept telling me 'It's not the right time'. When would it ever be. There'd always be something holding us back, walkers, humans, maybe even ourselves. If I wasn't going to have this talk now, I was scared I'll be too much of a twat to do it any other time. I softly bit my bottom lip, thinking about how I should start.

''Daryl,'' I said at the same time that Daryl said ''Aubrey,''

We looked up at each other with surprise on our faces, under normal circumstances I would have laughed, but I was way too nervous to do that now.

''You first.'' He said, and I twiddled with my thumbs to get rid of the nerves I was feeling.

''Okay,'' I mumbled, taking a deep breath. ''I was wondering- I mean- What happened at the prison.'' I finally said, not sure if that was the right sentence to start this conversation. My fingers nervously toyed with my necklace, rubbing the ring attached to it.

''I mean before the Governor attacked.'' Oh god this was awkward, my brain was screaming at me to abort the mission and just run like hell. Change the subject, tell him it's nothing, ask him about what he wanted to say. ''You know..'' I trailed off, looking him in the eye to check if he understood what I was talking about. His face was completely blank, great. Why was Daryl so good in hiding his facial expressions while I was just standing there with a face as red as a tomato. I stopped leaning on the railing and turned so I was facing him.

''I was just wondering if- About what happened then- Did you-'' I mumbled, looking down at my feet. My hands were waving around in the air, trying to make sense of what was happening. ''Have you- you know-'' Daryl swiftly grabbed my wrists, stopping me from moving them. I looked up from the ground and into his eyes and I was sure that he understood what I was trying to say. I wasn't sure what to say anymore, so we just stared at each other, which probably looked really weird for anyone who was watching.

My brain was thinking about what to do right now and one idea stood out the most. My heart started to pound and my hands were starting to sweat, but I ignored it and with the last bit of courage I still had left, I leaned in and softly pushed my lips against his.

My heart fluttered when our lips made contact and I closed my eyes. Daryl wasn't kissing me back, but he also wasn't moving away, making me unsure about his thoughts. He hadn't let go of my wrists, who were still dangling in the air.

My heart was pounding, I was sweating without a doubt and my brain was quickly losing control, not being able to hold on to a single thought. Eventually I pulled back and Daryl let go of my wrist, letting them fall by my side again.

He wasn't saying anything, he was just looking at me. Holy shit, what have I just done. I totally fucked up. I felt myself turning even more red when the humiliation washed over me and I wished that the floor could just swallow me whole.

''Daryl I-'' I started, but couldn't finish the sentence. I wanted to say I was sorry, but to be honest, I wasn't. I had enjoyed the kiss, even though he didn't necessarily participate in it. I put my hands on my face and shook my head in defeat.

''I'm such a fucking loser.'' I mumbled to myself, pushing my teeth in my bottom lip to stop myself from crying. My breaths were becoming shorter and shakier and I just wanted to get out of here, but I knew that I would have to move my hands and that meant Daryl would see my face. Even in the dark, you could clearly see I was crying and I definitely wanted to avoid that.

Hands softly grabbed my wrists again and they were pulled away from my face. I looked up at Daryl who still wasn't saying anything. I was planning on asking him what his problem was, what he thought about everything that had happened when he pushed his lips against mine.

This time it was my turn not to move as he kissed me. I was so shocked at his action, this didn't seem like Daryl at all, he always just avoided any form of romantic interaction. After a few seconds I realized I still hadn't moved, so I closed my eyes and kissed him back.

Daryl visibly relaxed as soon as my lips moved back against his. Daryl kept his hands firmly at his side, not knowing what to do with them, so I grabbed his hands in mine and intertwined my fingers with his. Daryl's lips were soft against my slightly chapped ones and the feeling made my heart beat faster and it gave me a fluttering feeling in my stomach. He'd kissed me back, Daryl Dixon had kissed me back.

Eventually we had to move away, catching our breath. We were still holding hands as we looked up at each other and Daryl softly placed his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes again, enjoying the feeling of having him close to me. I let go of his hands and wrapped them around his torso, pressing my head against his chest and hearing the fast beating of his heart, just like mine.

I had expected it to be awkward after we kissed, but it wasn't. We eventually took a step back from each other and I thought Daryl would have gone inside and tried to forget the moment had happened, but when I sat down on the bench that was placed on the porch, he sat down next to me.

We didn't say anything to each other, just enjoyed the silence and thought back about what had just happened until Tyreese came outside to relief me.

Saying that I slept good that night would be an understatement.

* * *

 **Please tell me what you think**


	45. Chapter 45

**Hey guys! So I realised I have never said this before. But thank you guys so much! Thanks for reviewing, favouriting and following this story. You have no idea how much it means to me and I hope you'll keep doing it.**

 **Special thanks to:**

 **scarlet-star-witch**

 **galwidanatitud**

 **lunasky99**

 **MultiFanfomLover99**

 **For reviewing the last chapters, I read all of them and really appreciate it.**

* * *

Everyone had been woken up as soon as the sun started to rise, we didn't want to waste any time with going back to the church.

Today was also the day that we were going to say goodbye to Bob. We had offered to- you know, end his misery, but he told us to just walk away so he could decide if he wanted to turn or not. He had his gun with him if he didn't want to turn and if he did want to turn we'd already be gone.

He was currently lying down on the couch, Sasha sitting next to him, sobbing. I felt a bit awkward to go over there, I didn't want to interrupt their moment. It seemed like almost everyone felt that way, we were all standing a few feet away from Sasha and Bob, looking at them with sympathy. Daryl was standing next to Rick, softly talking to him. Judith was being balanced on Rick's hip and she was trying to grab his growing beard.

Rick suddenly turned around, facing Bob, and everyone started to leave the room. Apparently Bob wanted to talk to Rick, since even Sasha left the room.

It was warm outside, summer was coming quick, we needed to restock with water, lots of it. I almost jumped when Olivia appeared next to me, she was clearly deep in thought, she had been like this for a few days now, and I didn't like it. Every time that I looked at her, she seemed to be frowning or looking at everyone, observing us. I still wanted to ask her what was wrong, but I didn't want to do it in front of everybody, apparently so didn't Olivia.

''Can we talk?'' She asked, turning over to me. My heart skipped a beat, scared of what she might say. I still nodded confidently, not wanting to jump ahead of things. I was hoping she would tell me what has been going on with her, not wanting to go to the mall, not really going on any runs actually and distancing herself from the group. She hadn't talked to me after the incident with her archery lessons and I didn't think she'd talked to anyone else from the group.

We walked over to the back of the house, in the garden. I imagined that the garden used to be really beautiful. There was a pool at the very end of the yard and flowers planted at the sides of it. But now, the pool looked disgusting, by not being cleaned in over a year probably, and most of the flowers were dead, replaced with weeds.

''What's up?'' I asked her, subconsciously wiping my hands on my pants. She didn't say anything, which made me only more nervous. She was pressing her lips together, staring at the garden in front of her. I noticed that she was rapidly blinking and she was constantly brushing away a strand of hair that tickled her face.

Liv was never nervous to say anything, never shied away from anything that she had to say. Suddenly something popped in my head, what if she was bitten? But I quickly dismissed that idea, she couldn't have been. She hadn't gone to the mall, she stayed back with the rest of the group which meant that she hadn't been alone and from what I know, she also didn't have watch duty last night. There were also no signs of sweating and she wasn't burning up.

''I'm leaving.'' She said and my head snapped up to her, my eyes widening.

''What? Why?'' I asked her, clenching my fists. Thousands of thoughts were swimming through my mind. Why would she leave? After everything we've been through? After we found each other again, she was just going to leave like that? I was already trying to find ways to convince her to stay.

''I-I don't belong here.'' She mumbled, a bit ashamed. She refused to look at me, but I could hear she was trying her best to sound as serious as possible, to not show any emotion. ''You obviously do. I just- I'm better off on my own.''

''How can you even say that!'' I yelled at her, pushing her chest so she was looking at me. I could clearly see the shock and sadness in her face, but I was so angry that I didn't have time to comprehend it. How could she even think that? Why would she even think that she was better off on her own? That she didn't belong here?

Olivia shrugged at my words, staring back at the ground. Her dark hair slowly falling in front of her face.

''After everything, you're just gonna leave?!'' I flung my arms around in the air. I was sure I would attract every walker that was even remotely close to this place, but I didn't care. I had to talk Olivia out of this, she was going to die if she left. A woman, on her own was almost an invitation for every other group out there. And if she wasn't going to die by other people, she surely was going to die by walkers, what if there was a herd and she'd be surrounded, there would be nobody around to distract the herd or lead them away.

''What are you so afraid of Liv? That you're going to feel again? 'Cause God forbid you actually feel something!'' At those words her head snapped up from the ground and she looked at me with fury in her eyes.

''You have no right to-''

''What are you so afraid of?'' I repeated, not letting her finish her sentence. At this point there was a lump in my throat and I was sure that I wasn't the only one. Olivia seemed like she was going to burst out in tears any moment, which was actually what I was going for. I didn't want to see her cry, but seeing this, I knew she cared, that she didn't want to leave, she felt like she had to.

''What do you think!'' She yelled, crossing her arms in a frustrated manner. ''I-'' She took a deep breath in and out, ''I can't lose anyone else anymore, why do you think I was alone for so long Aubrey? Hmm?'' She questioned me, it was her turn to get angry at me, a few tears had escaped her eye and she angrily wiped them away. ''I'm just so- so sick of it!'' Her hands clenched into fists at her side as she took a step towards me.

''Liv, I understand- we all understand.'' I pointed at the house where the other were. ''But, you can't just run away from it. Do you think we want to lose people? It happens and we just have to deal with it.'' I placed a hand on her shoulder and quickly pulled her in for a hug. She didn't hug me back, she buried her face in the crook of me neck and let a few silent tears escape.

It was relieved that Olivia had told me what was really going on, she needed to talk to someone and I hadn't been there for her when she needed me. I was too busy with my own problems to think about her, too glad that I was back with my group that I forgot Olivia also needed me, even though she never showed it.

''I'm sorry,'' I mumbled, even though she probably had no idea what I was talking about. While she was crying in the hug, a few tears had also started to escape me, so now we were both crying in the freaking garden of someone we didn't know, pouring our hearts out.

I was the first one to pull back.

''Jeez we're so girly,'' I joked, wiping away some tears and Olivia let out a shaky laugh,

''We're freakin' crybabies,'' Olivia added and we awkwardly laughed at each other. I sniffed a few times and took a few calming breaths, let's just hope that they hadn't heard us in the house.

''Are you still planning on leaving? Because if you are, I know I can't stop you.'' I mumbled.

''No, I'm not leaving, don't worry.'' She said, I gave her a slight grin and gave her another quick hug. It felt like a weight was being lifted of off my shoulders, she wasn't going to leave.

* * *

Bob was dying. Of course this was something we already knew, but he was very close to death at the moment. Which meant that it was time for us to go.

After Olivia and I came back from the garden, nobody had said anything about it. That didn't mean nobody had noticed though, we had gotten quite a few curious looks.

We all got to say goodbye to Bob, I was one of the first ones. I sat down next to him on the couch as he softly smiled.

''Hey,'' I almost whispered as I grabbed his hand in mine.

''I'm sorry for forcing you into a bad haircut.'' He said and I softly chuckled, ''And all that over a bottle of whiskey,''

''It's fine, I think I'm going to keep this haircut actually.'' I joked and Bob softly smiled. His breathing was raspy and I was scared he could choke any second.

''You send me a card, where ever it is that you're going.''

''I will.'' He said and with those words I patted his hand before letting go and slowly walking away. My bottom lip was slightly trembling with the emotion I didn't want to show in front of Bob. You know, he could have died worse. He died with his friends, his family, around him. He wasn't being torn apart by walkers, wasn't shot instantly by bad people.

It wasn't long after, that we left the house, leaving Bob behind.

I felt bad for him. He died before we went to Washington, he'd never get to see the world change back to how it once was. My eyes flickered over to Sasha who was angrily walking in front of all of us. Bob had given her his jacket, which she was now wearing. Her AR-15 was clutched in her hands, refusing to let it go.

The way she walked and her posture kind of scared me a bit. She wasn't thinking straight, and that made people reckless. Her behavior reminded me of when Karen was killed and Tyreese flipped. How he had angrily taken on any walker that crossed his path and, even though he never admitted it to me, tried to put himself in dangerous situations in the hope of getting killed.

Sasha was acting the same way, well not yet anyway, but she seemed to be going down the same path. I hoped Tyreese would help her in some way, he seemed to be fine now. At least I hope he was.

Olivia was also walking in front of me, chatting with Rosita. I can imagine Rosita was also happy to have someone to talk to, I knew she was in a relationship with Abraham and that it was just them and Eugene for a long time. I was glad Olivia was trying, I felt like she was a bit reluctant to try at first, but after our talk.. well more like yelling at each other, she tried to get to know people a bit more.

I knew I shouldn't watch her so much, but I was just worried about her. Now I felt like it wasn't necessary anymore.

Even though I tried not to, my eyes flickered over to Daryl who was walking next to Rick and discussing something I had no idea off. I couldn't stop thinking about last night, about how everything was perfect those few hours that we were alone. And how after my watch, or our watch, he wrapped his arm around my waist and we fell asleep like that. But this morning, it felt like he was avoiding me, trying to forget the whole thing happened. I rubbed my hands together nervously. I knew it was to be expected with Daryl, but I couldn't help the pang in my heart every time he walked away when I got even closer then a few feet.

''Aubrey,'' I let out a small yelp of fright as Carl appeared next to me, holding Judith. ''Sorry, I didn't want to scare you.'' He apologized but I quickly waved it off, telling him it was nothing.

''What's up?'' I asked him, curious as to why he came over.

''Nothing, I just thought I'd walk next to you.'' He shrugged, moving Judith a bit.

''Well okay then, how are you doing?'' I asked him, placing one hand on my hip as we walked.

''I'm fine I guess,'' He was silent for a few moments, thinking, before he spoke again. ''Do you think Washington is real?'' He asked me and I bit my lip nervously.

I wanted it to be real, who wouldn't, and why wouldn't it be real. But I understood where Carl was coming from, it was almost too good to be true. Things like this barely happened anymore, a chance.

''I hope so.'' I told him, ''We have to try at least, because of we don't take chances, then what's the point in living?''


	46. Chapter 46

**Another one!  
**

* * *

 **Smoke as black as charcoal**

 **Fills into our fragile lungs**

I was sitting in the bus with my feet propped up the seat next to me, so I was kind of lying down. We'd been driving for about 20 minutes now and we were all happy to relax. We'd walked all day and arrived around the afternoon at the church. We were lucky that no one else had crossed paths with it, so all the food that we'd left in the bus was still there.

After we had arrived we all quickly helped Abraham fix the bus and it was done in 2 hours. I wasn't really helpful during that time, not having a lot of knowledge about cars or buses for that matter. But Daryl was, Glenn was and Rick also helped. In the meantime we gave them equipment that they needed or searched around the area for supplies. We had checked some walkers for anything useful and came up with a handgun and some ammo.

So now we were finally driving, all 16 of us, and I couldn't help but think that we used to be with 17 and now 16, almost 15 if Olivia had left. Eugene was chatting with Maggie and Glenn, some of them were listening, but I was just making a crossword puzzle I had found in the bus. I never liked these puzzles, they'd always make me frustrated and I'd just give up, but it was nice to do something normal, something that didn't remind me of everything that had happened.

''Another word for craving, three letters.'' I said turning to Olivia who was seated in front of me. She turned around, her face barely visible behind the seat.

''How should I know? I sucked at English in school.'' She stated, and I imagined her shrugging her shoulders behind her seat.

''Hey Eugene!'' I yelled, catching everyone's attention. ''Another word for craving? It has three letters.'' It wasn't long before Eugene answered.

''Yen. It is from Japanese origin and it's first known use is in 1875.'' He replied swiftly and I awkwardly nodded,

''That's more then I wanted to know, but thanks anyway.'' I mumbled while writing the word down.

Rick, Judith and Carl were in the front of the bus. Rick was probably talking with Abraham about our destination or how long it would be. I could probably reach Washington today, if we were lucky.

Daryl and I still hadn't talked since yesterday. He'd avoided me as much as he could and when he couldn't he always made sure that someone was around us. At first I thought he was angry that I kissed him, and he me, but every time our eyes met there wasn't a hint of anger or annoyance in his eyes. Which had led me to believe he just didn't know what to do, well that made two of us.

''He Gabriel,'' I said, watching Gabriel turn towards me from his seat, ''Church towers, eight lett-'' I never got the finish my sentence, because at that moment we heard a weird sound and before we knew it we were swaying on the road as Abraham tried to dodge any cars in our way.

''Watch out!'' Abraham yelled and before anyone could ask what was going on, we crashed into something and the bus smashed onto it's left side, the opposite side of me. Daryl, Olivia, Rosita, Tara, Rick and me all dropped out of our seat and onto the other people.

Somewhere along the way I hit my head against one of the seats and crashed against Michonne. Glass was shattered and surrounded us as we were all a bit dizzy from the crash. I was lying against Michonne, who was lying partly on the ground since the glass was broken, and tried to get up, but every time I did try everything started to spin and my side would ache.

''Michonne?'' I said, ''Are you okay?'' No response, ''Michonne?'' I said a bit louder. My heart started to pick up speed and I forced myself up, ignoring the pain in my side and head and looked up at Michonne. She was unconscious and there seemed to be wound at the back of her head.

''Michonne?'' I tried again, supporting myself on one of the seats as I looked at her. I almost sighed with relief when a small grunt escaped her lips. She was alive at least. I bend over to put my fingers against her neck, try to find how strong her pulse was when I felt a sharp pain in my side. I looked down to see what was hurting so much and almost gasped when I saw that there was a piece of glass stuck in my side.

''Shit.'' I whispered to myself. I ignored the pain for a moment, so I could find Michonne's pulse. It was strong and steady, I guess she just hit her head and lost consciousness. That was good, we could treat it, but we needed to do it quick to prevent her from losing too much blood.

I grabbed Michonne under her armpits and tried to lift her up, but the glass in my side prevented me from actually succeeding.

''I- eh- I need some help here!'' I called out, hoping someone would come and help me.

''The engine's on fire, we gotta get out of here.'' I heard Rosita say and I cursed. Glenn was the first one to arrive here, since we were the closest to the back exit.

''Glenn, help me with Michonne.'' I ordered him and both hauled Michonne up by her shoulders, I slightly winced as my side grazed something that I couldn't see, but I ignored it and Glenn and I both swung an arm from Michonne around our shoulder. Abraham brushed past us and swiftly forced open the exit door in the back. I could have yelled out of frustration when I saw that walkers had gathered around the bus.

Maggie quickly followed and so did Rick and Tyreese. Daryl also brushed past us, but not before giving us a look over.

Daryl went first, before we also climbed out of the bus. Me first, then we lifted Michonne up and Glenn quickly followed.

''What now?'' I asked him. Glenn thought about it for a second, checking his surroundings, probably checking to see the amount of walkers around us. He swiftly grabbed his backpack and laid it down on the ground, next to another car about a yard away, before he ordered me to slowly put her head down on the backpack. I did as he said and after that was done, Glenn grabbed his knife and joined the rest.

Carl and Judith came out of the bus quickly after that and I ordered them to stay here with me, Carl was a bit hesitant, wanting to help out to, but after seeing how serious I was he stayed. I needed him anyway.

I slowly lifted up my shirt and pulled the glass piece out with a grunt, like I expected, blood instantly started to pour out of it and I quickly rummaged through Glenn's bag, looking for a first aid kit. After finding it I quickly ordered Carl to put some antiseptic cream on my wound. He quickly did as I asked and I grunted at the annoying sting it gave me. I didn't waste any time and swiftly bandaged my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding. Figuring that it would have to do, I turned over to Michonne, checking her injuries, Carl helping me by tilting her head up.

She had a few minor cuts from the glass, but there was quite a large wound at the back of her head. Fortunatly, the wound wasn't too deep, it probably just shook up her brain a bit. When she'll wake up, she'd feel a bit dizzy, probably nauseous too, but no permanent damage. I bandaged her head as well as I could with Carl as my helper, but it was a bit hard with her dreadlocks getting in the way.

A growl nearby caught my attention and I swiftly pulled out my knife and walked over to the walker. It probably came from the front of the bus, getting drawn to all the noise going on around here. I stabbed the walker in the head and quickly pulled it out, returning my knife.

I asked Carl if he and Judith had any injuries, when he told me they hadn't I nodded, feeling quite relieved at hearing that and looked up to see the others killing the remaining few walkers, well except for Eugene and Gabriel, who were just standing by the side of the road. Gabriel was clutching his machete in his hand, jumping back at every walker that came closer than 15 feet, while Eugene was clutching his small knife, hiding behind Gabriel.

I stood up from my crouching position and leaned against the car that we were next to. Rick was the first to come back, checking up with Judith and Carl. When he saw that Michonne was unconscious he asked me what had happened and I gave him a quick explanation about how I smashed against her during the crash, reassuring her that she would be fine.

I went to check on everybody, see if they had any injuries, but most of them seemed to be fine. I offered to clean up Abraham's knuckles, the wound had opened up again, but he refused. Glenn had a small cut on his forehead which was easy to clean up, but aside from that everyone seemed fine, just a few small cuts and a lot of bruises.

''Hey Maggie,'' I called her, ''Do you think you have another shirt or something? Mine's a bit... bloody.'' I said, pointing at the cut in my shirt and the blood spots surrounding it. She swiftly nodded, readjusting her gun a bit.

''Yeah, I'll go get it. It's in the bus-'' She stopped talking when the bus suddenly burst into flames, her eyes widening slightly.

''Shit.'' I heard Abraham mumble. ''C'mon, we can't stop. We gotta keep moving.''

''But what about Michonne?'' I pointed out to him. Michonne was still unconscious and lying on the ground, on Glenn's backpack. Glenn looked like he gladly wanted it back, but didn't really have the heart to ask. ''Moving her can be dangerous,'' I stated, crossing my arms over each other.

Abraham mumbled something under his breath which sounded like an insult, but I decided to let him get away with it, not really wanting to start an argument right now.

''We're gonna have to wait for her to wake up.'' I sighed, looking at Michonne who was silently lying on the ground. I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. I fell on top of her, and I mean, that's not something I'd want to happen to me.

I sat down on the ground next to Michonne, now we just had to wait.

* * *

It had been two hours.

Two. Freaking. Hours.

Abraham had started to pace around about an hour ago and he was getting more and more frustrated with every second that passed by. His jaw clenched and unclenched, he'd wipe the dried blood of his knuckles in frustration and constantly eyed Michonne as if he could force her to wake up.

Every time he did so, I stared him down, challenging him to do something about it. While Abraham was pacing and being annoying, I tried to come up with as many different ways as possible to wake her up sooner. Rick had reminded me that when Michonne found us at the prison, he'd poured some water on her to wake her up. We'd done that and gotten no reaction whatsoever, I even tried to lightly slap her a few times, tried to make walker noises to scare her awake, which was kind of funny not going to lie. Also we were absolutely terrible at it, we sounded more like a choking seagull. But furthermore, nothing helped.

We were starting to get a little worried. Eugene had to go to Washington and we definitely didn't want to leave Michonne, but some of us were doubting the chances of her waking up. I'd throw a fit every time someone even spoke those thoughts out loud, but I was starting to get a little skeptic too.

Sasha was unusually quiet. She hadn't said a word, probably a bit shocked by what had happened today. When I asked her how she was doing, she stated that she was doing fine and quickly walked away. Tyreese had thanked me for asking them and followed Sasha after, probably trying to calm her down.

Throughout the two hours quite some walkers had passed us, they were quickly taken out though. Still, there was a slight worry, scratching a part of my brain. What if there was a herd coming right in this direction? With every minute we waited longer the herd would catch up with us and then there'd be absolutely no chance of Michonne surviving this.

Something needed to happen.

''Rick,'' I spoke up, catching more people's attention than just Rick's. ''Maybe it's time to start moving her, we can't stay for longer.'' Rick who was crouched down next to Michonne, faintly nodded, more to himself then to me. We were all waiting for Rick to give the command, to give us a plan. Abraham was probably the one who was the most anxious for an answer. He had stopped pacing around and was now practically jumping up and down.

''Two will go scout, try to find a car. The rest will go find a place to stay the night and then we'll meet each other there.''

''There's a town, probably 6 miles from here, we could go there.'' Tara spoke up.

''Are you sure splitting up is a good idea?'' Glenn added,

''I think it's the best option we have, for now.'' Rick reassured him, but pinching the bridge of his nose, suggesting that he was more nervous than he let on.

''I'll take Michonne.'' I told them. Daryl's eyes flickered over to me and his look definitely made me know that he wasn't very fond of the plan. He never said anything though.

''I'll come with.'' Rick said and I nodded. I knew he had grown pretty fond of Michonne, even if he hadn't noticed it himself yet.

Quickly after that, everyone grabbed the stuff that hadn't burned down in the bus. It wasn't a lot, we had Glenn's backpack, Rick's bag and Michonne's. I was stupid enough to leave mine in the bus. Not that I had a lot of necessities. I did have an extra handgun in there, which was now freaking gone.

Five minutes later we both went our separate ways. The group went in the direction of the town while Rick went in the other direction, looking for a car. I stayed with Michonne, since we couldn't drag her along with us. I got nervous when two walkers appeared, and after five minutes another three walkers appeared. I was hoping Rick would get back soon, I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep Michonne safe.

Throughout the next half hour, I had killed another 20 walkers. They were spread out a bit more, but I did notice they all came from the same direction, which gave me an uncomfortable feeling.

I knew that the smoke would attract walkers, but I hadn't expected that many walkers. The only thing that reassured me was that in between every two or three walkers, there was at least 5 minutes, sometimes even more. While I was keeping an eye on Michonne and the walkers that kept appearing out of nowhere, I was watching the road or listening for any signs of a car. The best case scenario would be that Rick appeared right now, in a ambulance car or something, maybe even a RV.

But no suck luck, another 10 minutes later I heard the familiar sound of an engine and I couldn't help but jump up to see where Rick came from. It felt like I was waiting for hours until the car finally came into sight and at first my face fell when I saw the car. It was a Renault Master, an old one. It definitely didn't have the speed I was hoping for, but at least it had room, there would be enough room for Michonne in the back.

Rick swiftly stopped next to us and we were quick to put Michonne in the back.

''Why did it take you so long?'' I questioned, not wanting to sound rude, but more wondering what was holding him back. Judging by the blood on his clothes it had been what I thought it had been.

''There were walkers, a lot more then when we drove through the first time.'' He said while he was holding Michonne's shoulders, lifting her up. I was holding her feet, trying not to drop her.

As we shuffled over to the back of the van, out of the corner of my eye I saw another walker appear out of the trees, and another one.

''Look, Aubrey.'' Rick said, letting out a sigh as Michonne was placed in the back, on a blanket. ''Somethings not right here, I think that-''

I quickly threw my hand in front of his mouth to shut him up. I put my finger against my lips and pointed over at the dozens of walkers stumbling out of the trees. They hadn't seen us yet and Rick and I swiftly climbed in the back of the van, shutting the doors as softly as we could.

We crouched from the back of the van to the front, trying not to be seen as more and more walkers stumbled out of the trees and past the bus that wasn't on fire anymore, but just smoking. I didn't know what made them decide that the smoking bus wasn't interesting enough, but they just stumbled past it and kept on walking. In the direction of the town we were going to.

My heart started to pound violently as I thought of the group that was heading to the town. The herd was still growing and growing and at the moment I think that there were about hundreds of walkers heading in the direction of the group.

Daryl was there, Olivia was there, Carl and Judith were there, everyone was there. They wouldn't make it if the herd caught up to them.

''Rick.'' I whispered, my voice slightly breaking at the thoughts of what could happen. ''We need to distract the herd, before they reach the group.'' In my head I was calculating how far they were to the town. They had been walking for around 40 minutes and 20 minutes of walking equals around 1 mile so they were at 2 miles, probably, almost halfway there.

''Yeah, I know.'' Rick agreed with me, pinching the bridge of his nose again. Since Rick was taking too long, for my liking, to come up with a plan I started to look through the van. It only took the group one small break for about 5 minutes to let the herd get closer, I wasn't going to wait it out and see what could happen. What if one of them did have a head injury, but just didn't realize it, then they'd faint and everyone had to wait for her to wake up. The herd would catch up to them and they'd die.

The only thing that this van had was papers, scattered around the floor, and a blanket for Michonne. We had put Rick's bag under Michonne's head, and gave Glenn his back, that only seemed fair. I slowly took Rick's bag from under Michonne's head and was quick to search through it. Nothing except junk, junk and junk.

''I know what to do.'' I told Rick and I gave him an apologetic look. He probably already knew what I was thinking, because he was thinking about it too. I could see it on his face.

''Can you hold Michonne?'' I asked him and he nodded. It was strange to suddenly take the lead here, it was always Rick who ordered us around and now the rolls had suddenly changed.

I climbed over to the drivers seat and started the engine. That sound alone already attracted a few walkers, but not enough.

''Go for it!'' I heard Rick say though the back and with all my might, I slammed my hand against the horn.

* * *

 **Hey guys!**

 **I am editing my previous chapters. I'm not changing a lot, just adding some stuff so if you don't want to re-read everything that's fine. You won't miss anything.**


	47. Chapter 47

**This could be the end of everything**

 **So why don't we go**

 **Somewhere only we know?**

I never wondered if there was a better way out of this. If I could have handled this better, because in my eyes there wasn't any other way. We didn't have anything to distract them with, just the car, so that's what I did. I kept pressing on the horn as hard as I could as I turned the car around, killing a few walkers in the process, and drove away. In the opposite direction of the town we were supposed to be going to.

I was furious. I was furious at the bus that just had to crash, which led the walkers here, I was furious at the walkers that had to ruin everything again, at the world because we were separated again, and because of myself, because if I hadn't fallen on top of Michonne she might not have slammed against the window and maybe she would have been up and walking right now.

I told myself it was just going to be a simple task, get a car and get to the town, no biggie right? Right? I mean, there sure wouldn't be a huge herd just waiting around the corner for something like this to happen.

''C'mon!'' I yelled as I pressed the horn again. My foot was glued to the gas pedal, trying to go as fast as we possibly could.

''Rick!'' I yelled at him from the back, ''I don't think the horn will be enough! We will need a flare or something, we need to go to another town, start a fire. Something.'' Rick understood what I meant and grabbed the map that was in his bag, searching for a town that we could destroy and since I was absolutely shit at reading maps I was glad I had Rick with me.

''Go right!'' Rick yelled so suddenly that I almost missed the exit. I slammed my foot on the break, making the tires squeal and turned left. Switching my hand so my left hand was now pressing the horn.

It wasn't long before houses started be visible and it was only a matter of time before we were in some kind of poor neighborhood. The houses were mostly trailers and further down the road there was a restaurant

''Let's just set one of these houses on fire'' Rick said as we both started to run towards the houses. I just nodded at him, letting him know I understood.

''I think we have, maybe, 10 minutes before they catch up.'' He told me and with those words we each barged into a house. When I pushed my foot against the door it gave away, making my foot the only thing that went through, great. I pulled my foot back and this time used my shoulder to try and open the door. After two or three times it finally worked and I rubbed my sore shoulder, that would definitely bruise later on.

The house seemed to belong to an old couple, old furniture was placed in the room and pictures of children and family filled the room. I doubted if these people had anything useful for a fire in their house. I mean, why would they?

I froze when I saw dark blood on the carpet. I crouched down and slowly touched it, finding that it was dry. I sighed slowly with relief, glad that we didn't have to worry about another person hanging around here, well that would definitely be unlucky for them since we were going to set a house on fire. I shivered slightly at the thought of being in a house and it suddenly bursting into flames.

I stood up again and went to check every room until I found something that could be used as a storage room. The room was dusty and dark, random things were scattered on the desk and there was a huge dark closet in the corner of the room.

On the desk was an axe, and a screwdriver, which I grabbed since I thought it could be useful. But furthermore I didn't really find anything on the desk. I opened some kind of closet and gasped at what I saw, it was a bow and arrow, Olivia would be so happy at the new amount of arrows. I grabbed the arrows and went to leave when I looked back at the bow, how cool would it be if I could shoot?

I nervously bit my lip and toyed around with my necklace before deciding to take it anyway. Just when I did, I noticed something on the top of the closet. It seemed to be a box, but I wondered what was in it. I stood on my toes and tried to reach it. My fingers lightly touched the box, before I heard the familiar sounds of groaning. I quickly turned around, finding nothing. I did a quick spin around the room just to be sure when I heard the sound again. My gaze traveled over to the wall where the sound seemed to be coming from.

They were here.

I grabbed the chair that was on the desk and quickly stood on it, now being able to reach the box. There were some useless photographs in it and I swiftly threw them out, not caring, I was starting to give up hope and just thinking that it was some stupid memory box when I saw something orange under the staple of photo's. I reached under it and almost cried out of joy when I saw it was a flare gun.

''Rick!'' I yelled before slamming my hands against my mouth, shit there were walkers around. I jumped off the chair and ran out the house, searching for Rick. There were only about a dozen walkers roaming around now, but I knew that number would grow larger soon.

''Rick,'' I said a little bit softer. None of the walkers had seen me yet, giving me an advantage, but I was sure it wouldn't take long anymore, so where was Rick?

''Rick?'' I repeated after seeing he wasn't with at the van. I jumped as Rick burst through the door, fresh blood covering his clothes.

''Are those-?'' I started but he quickly interrupted me.

''Walkers, what did you find?'' He asked me and I showed him the flare gun with a grin. Rick instantly smiled back as we ran towards the van.

''How are we going to set a house on fire?'' I questioned him.

''Already did.'' He answered and with that I saw the smoke starting to come out of the windows and doors of the house. ''Fire the gun, it'll attract more.'' He said and I didn't need to be told twice before pointing my gun in the air and shooting it. I watched with fascination at how the flare went up in the air and exploded. I really liked firework, I was just sad that we never really got the chance to fire it up anymore.

Without saying anything we quickly stepped into the van and drove off, glad that it was done. Finally something went according to plan, there were no complications or walkers that got in the way. Now we just needed to find a detour to get to the town and hope that everyone was there, alive and well.

We had been driving for maybe 5 minutes when a faint groan caught our attention. Rick who was driving turned around to the back of the van, checking the sound.

''Eyes on the road cowboy.'' I told him before jumping over the passenger seat and to the back. Michonne was holding her head with one hand and with the other trying to keep balanced as she sat upright.

''Welcome back.'' I told her.

We'd been on the road for maybe 20 minutes and it was starting to get dark. Because of the waiting we had to do for Michonne and then the distracting of the walkers, it had taken up our whole day and the sun was starting to set as we silently drove to the town.

We had to make a detour to the little town, not wanting to lead the walkers back to the town. I think we were almost there, Rick was currently driving and I hadn't asked him about it yet. I was sitting in the back with Michonne. After she woke up I did some quick tests to see how bad her concussion was. In the time she was out, she had recovered quite a bit, which made her symptoms a bit better than it should be if she'd stayed awake.

I asked her what she remembered and she told me that she remembered everyone sitting in the bus. Furthermore, she hadn't remembered a thing.

''You need to get some more sleep.'' I suggested, even though she was doing good, she was doing great actually, she needed some extra sleep to prevent her from feeling nauseous or dizzy.

''I'm done sleeping.'' She shrugged and after I gave her a look she added, ''I'll sleep some more when we get to the town.'' After considering her answer I shrugged and gave in. It wasn't as if I could force her to go to sleep anyway.

''We're almost there.'' Rick said from the drivers seat and I suddenly started to get very anxious. What if something had happened to them while we were gone? What if they saw the flare and thought we had been in trouble? But I was also just eager to finally be together again, I didn't like the separation, we needed something to communicate or something, a walkie-talkie. I saw that I wasn't the only one eager and nervous to get back, Rick was keeping his foot on the gas pedal and driving as hard as possible without giving Michonne a headache.

Michonne and I were both leaning against the side of the van. I was mindlessly toying with the ring attached to my necklace, warming the ring because of the temperature of my hand. I saw Michonne looking at it, but she already knew why I had it.

Every time I touched it my mother's death flashed through my mind, then Teresa's, then my Dad's, then everyone we'd lost after the apocalypse. I knew I should probably get rid of it, get rid of the memories it gave me, the guilt, but it was a part of me now. And if I put it in my bag it could get lost, I could lose my bag just like I had today.

My hand reached over to the wound in my side, it might need stitches. The bleeding had stopped a while ago, but it still hurt like hell. I lightly touched in and bit my lip to not whimper, okay yeah it needed stitches, this wasn't just a stupid cut.

We were all quiet, not really knowing what we could talk about. We just escaped a whole herd of walkers, while one of us was unconscious. I was going to miss that flare gun, I thought it was always useful to have one with you and only to use it when it was absolutely necessary.

My eyes traveled over to the front window and found that we were indeed close to a town. Let's just hope this was the right one. Rick suddenly stopped and turned around.

''We're gonna stop here. We don't know if the group's here or if somebody else is here.'' I nodded and turned over to Michonne who was already grabbing her stuff, which was actually only her katana.

''You think you can manage?'' I asked her and she nodded.

''Sure, there's not really another option, is there?'' She questioned back. I mean there was, Rick and I could go and scout out the area, see if something was dangerous and then get back to the van, but I guess that wasn't really an option in her mind.

I jumped out of the van and Michonne swiftly followed, Rick opened his car door and also stepped out. It was already dark when we got out of the car, which kind of added to the tension. I was frustrated that we didn't have a flashlight or anything to help us at all.

''You think they're here?'' I asked Rick who had his pistol raised and was slowly walking forwards. I couldn't help but look at his shoes, they were absolutely horrible and I often commented on it. He just told me that they were productive and looked good before warning me not to make fun of his shoes ever again. I think that they were slowly falling apart and I was wondering how they even lasted this long.

''They could be.'' Was his only answer and I wanted to roll my eyes at it. I mean yeah, I figured that out already. Deciding that this was his version of saying 'I don't know', I accepted it and ignored it.

The first street we were walking gave us nothing. Of course we weren't really sure what we were looking for, but we hadn't found it at the first street. We'd walk up to every store we found, look through the window, figuring out that if they stayed in one of these stores they needed a look out on the street. When we found nothing we moved on to the next street.

With every store that was empty, a little bit of hope left me. Maybe they never made it, I mean we had to take a different route to this place so we wouldn't have known if something had happened to them. That thought made my eyes water and I wiped my hands over my face to calm myself down.. I was so sick of losing people, I wasn't sure how much I could handle.

''Guys,'' Michonne called out and Rick, who was standing a few feet away from me, and me both turned over to see what Michonne was talking about. She waved us over with one hand and we quickly ran over to her, as quiet as possible of course.

I wiped my tears away, cursing them for falling, and tried to look as normal as I could.

''There's light coming from this library.'' She told us and my first thought was to burst through the door and see if it was our group, but I knew that it wouldn't be the wisest choice, so we all settles on smashed something against the wall, waiting until one of them came out and see if it was our group or not. If it indeed was our group, it would have been a great idea. If it wasn't, well, then I guess it's pretty stupid because then they'd know someone was here.

I grabbed a bottle that was lying on the ground and smashed it as hard as I could against the wall. The volume of the glass smashing against the bricks made me flinch slightly and we all quickly hid behind this huge garbage container.

It took about 2 minutes before the backdoor opened in the library and someone walked out. Rick was the one to peek over the container and when he turned back to us, there was a smile evident on his face. This almost made me want to jump up and hug him as tight as I could, but I could contain myself, but not the huge smile that made its way over to my face.

Rick was the first one to stand up, his hands raised, in case the one who came out thought that we were someone else. We heard the cocking of a gun when Rick appeared into view, but luckily for us we never heard the trigger being pulled. I quickly stood up next to Rick and helped Michonne standing up, who told us she felt a bit dizzy.

''Rick?'' I heard Glenn's voice say as I slung Michonne's arm over my shoulder, hauling her up. Rick gave Glenn a quick hug and so did Michonne and I. ''We were worried sick man. We saw the flare and thought that-'''

''We're fine now. We have a lot to discuss.'' Rick said placing his hand on Glenn's shoulder. Glenn nodded and walked back inside, expecting us to follow, which we did.

Michonne was currently holding her head, grunting a bit as we walked back inside. I reassured her by saying that there would be a bed for her soon enough.

''Guys, I have a surprise for you.'' Glenn said before we walked in and when we did everyone's eyes snapped over to us, smiles lighting up their faces.

Carl instantly ran over to his dad and hugged him, Rick happily accepted the hug and I softly smiled to myself. Michonne instantly was directed to the nearest bed, which was just a blanket I think, and slept like a baby.

Olivia rushed over to me and engulfed me in a hug. I let out a soft laugh at her hug. Her soft hair tickled my face and I savored the moment, knowing that Olivia didn't really hug me that often anymore.

My eyes looked over to the rest of the group, who was either watching Rick, Michonne or me. As my eyes found Daryl he didn't look away this time. Instead his head was lowered a bit and he was looking at Olivia and me while he was fumbling with something in his hand, leaning against the wall. I offered him a soft smile, which he didn't return, he just kept looking.

Olivia and I broke our hug and Daryl instantly seemed to snap out of something and walked away. My hands found my necklace as I automatically began to play with it. Olivia noticed it and turned around just to see Daryl disappearing around the corner.

She raised an eyebrow at me and I just shrugged it off. Trying to act like I didn't care.

Even though Daryl still wasn't talking to me, the bus had kind of exploded and I'd almost died today, again, I was happy at the moment. Olivia was here, everyone was still alive and we had a man with us that could cure this whole thing. So, yeah.

I was happy.


	48. Chapter 48

**Important announcement at the end of this chapter! Please read!**

* * *

''We could stay a day, pack up on supplies.'' Maggie suggested, ''The whole town has been untouched.''

''We're not stopping.'' Abraham spoke, his voice stern and confident. While Abraham was sure that we wouldn't stop, Rick seemed to be hesitating, considering the options. Judith was balanced on his hip, chewing on a toy, as he scratched at his growing beard.

While almost the whole group was arguing with each other, I was lying on one of the library tables. Apparently I did need some stitches, so Rosita was currently cleaning my wound, getting it ready to stick the needle in. I leaned my hands on my forehead, trying not to make too much noise as she poked and probed the cut.

I hated getting medical attention. Because first, nine out of the ten times it happened, it hurt like a son of a bitch and second, I didn't like being so vulnerable. I couldn't do anything, I just had to let people touch and poke me, while I was feeling very uncomfortable. Fortunately, the wound wasn't deep this time and it still wasn't infected.

Lying on the table reminded me of Hershel, our old medic. I missed the old man, it felt like the group wasn't complete without him. Although the man had a fake leg as disadvantage, he could still take care of himself. I've seen that man kill numerous of walkers with just one leg.

''I'm gonna stitch it up now.'' She warned me and I just nodded. Since we didn't have any painkillers, I had to do it without any anesthesia. I groaned when the needle went through my flesh and I saw several heads turn in concern. I gritted my teeth together when I felt it the second time. I felt a bit sorry for Rosita, it can't be a pretty sight to stitch up. To distract myself I tried to focus on the conversation the others were having.

''-We need to find a vehicle first.'' Tara commented and everyone swiftly agreed with the idea. So did I, in silence at least.

''Two will scout out the town, see if they can find a vehicle and two others should go and sweep everything useful out of the surrounding stores.'' Rick ordered and Glenn en Maggie offered to go and look for a car. Olivia and Tara also went out to scout for supplies, but Olivia stopped by to pay me a quick visit first.

She leaned over me, her face very close to mine, trying to make me laugh. Rosita chose that time to stick the needle through my flesh again, making me wince as I felt my side sting. Olivia leaned back, standing next to Tara.

''Quit being such a baby.'' She said and grinned at me while I swiftly flipped her the finger, cursing as Rosita continued to stitch me up. Olivia laughed and walked away with Tara, who was giving me an apologetic look.

Rick and Daryl were talking to each other about Washington, well that's what I picked up. Their conversation wasn't really audible, it consisted of a lot of mumbling and whispering. Eventually they walked away still talking to each other. And Tyreese stopped by and sat next to Rosita, eyeing me.

''Hey Aubrey, Rosita.'' He politely greeted both of us, we both greeted him back in a short manner, while I did it through gritted teeth. Luckily, Rosita was almost done, she was just cutting the thread and made sure to clean the blood that had dripped on the table.

''Where's Sasha?'' I asked him. Ever since Bob passed away, he had been by her side constantly. Which had ended up in him not having a lot of contact with the rest of the group. Tyreese had always been slightly quiet, but it seemed like he was disconnecting himself from the group, mostly focusing on Sasha since she needed him. I was a bit disappointed about that, I'd always liked Tyreese, he was a nice guy.

''Talking with Abraham.'' Tyreese smiled up. I saw something flash in Rosita's eyes for a second, but she quickly hid it and focused back on my stitches. I wasn't sure what I saw, worry? Maybe it was sadness? Jealousy? Maybe I was just jumping to conclusions and she just reminded herself of something. Maybe. I narrowed my eyes at her, but she did a good job at avoiding them, so I turned back to Tyreese, a bit unsure.

''So, what are you going to do today?'' I changed the subject. I wasn't planning on dwelling over Rosita's reaction, trying to be Dr. Phil.

''Probably going to count the supplies.'' He told me and I gave him a simple nod, understanding. My eyes flickered back to Rosita for a second, who was still fully concentrating on cleaning around my wound.

''You need help with that?'' I asked him. If I was just going to sit around all day I would die out of boredom. I was racking my mind with different things I could do today. I could fix the holes in people's clothes, help finding supplies, which they probably wouldn't allow me. I would be able to read a book, it had been month since I read a book. Well, it sure felt like moths. I had probably been around 2/3 weeks. Although it didn't feel right to read a book while everyone else was helping with getting ready. I wanted to be of use to everyone, I didn't like being impractical.

''No thanks,'' Tyreese turned down my offer. I pouted a little bit, which just made him laugh and pat my head while he started to get up.

''Don't lose count!'' I yelled after him as he walked away, disappearing behind the shelves of the library. His booming laugh could be heard from behind the books as I grinned at my comment, feeling a bit proud, even though it wasn't that funny.

I was just looking around me, while Rosita started to pack up her stuff again. Everyone had already left after the 'meeting' so it was just Rosita and me. I wasn't sure where everyone had gone, but I didn't think that they were close, so I turned to the woman next to me.

''What's up?'' I asked her. She looked up from the table and to me. After a few seconds of thinking about my question, she was probably trying to figure out what I meant with it, she just shrugged.

''Nothing much.'' I rolled my eyes when she looked down again and refrained myself from sighing.

''I mean what's up, with you and Abraham?'' I asked, she looked up to me. It was hard to read her face, she was very good at hiding her expressions.

''Nothing.'' She mumbled. To be honest, I didn't really blame her for not telling me. We weren't really the best of friends, we had the usual conversations, but never full on deep talks. Olivia on the other hand, seemed to like the Hispanic woman. Before I could ask her about Abraham again she stood up.

''All done.'' She said, fake enthusiasm dripping from her voice. She grabbed the bag she had packed while we talked and walked out without another word. I ran my hand through my hair in frustration and swiftly swung my legs over the table, ignoring my aching side.

I was contemplating on what to do. Daryl was probably talking to Rick, plus I was a bit dreading talking to him, Glenn and Maggie were gone, Michonne was most likely sleeping. She deserved some rest after yesterday. Gabriel was probably around somewhere, maybe I should go and see how he's doing. I was unsure if I should see him, but knowing he didn't have a lot of people to talk to, I felt a bit obligated to.

I hopped off the table, searching for Gabriel, or anyone else I might bump into. My hand touched the ring on my necklace, rubbing the material in between my hands. What if my mom would have been here? She would be so excited to finally see the world coming back. I personally had my doubts, I mean what would happen after the walkers were gone? We'd never get back to the person we used to be.

The soft thumping off footsteps broke me out of my thoughts and I saw Eugene walking from around the corner.

''Good morning,'' He told me politely and I awkwardly mumbled a 'hello' back. He was almost rounding another corner, or bookcase, when I swiftly turned around, hesitating to ask him.

''Eugene.'' Eugene stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around, waiting for my answer. He didn't fully turn around, suggesting he wanted to keep walking, maybe he had somewhere to go to.

''Where are you going?'' I asked. He did turn towards me this time. His arms were hanging limply by his side, not suggesting anything. Though his facial features told me how unsure he was of me as a person. This guy made me feel stupid in his presence, and I wasn't a fan of it. He probably didn't mean to make me feel dumb, he just observed me, making me feel a bit uncomfortable, he observed everyone.

''I- eh'' He started, barely moving. Even though I didn't mean to sound suspicious or even found out what he was doing. His awkward behavior made me narrow my eyes and question his destination.

''Eugene?'' I folded my arms together and leaned against one of the bookshelves. All my insecurities and shyness had melted away and now I was just curious and suspicious as to where he was going. My eyes racked over his body to find anything that was out of the ordinary and I was surprised to find a knife in the man's hand.

If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but because it was Eugene my heart skipped a beat and I instantly took a step forward.

''What are you going to do with that knife?'' My arms unfolded and instead were raised a bit, to show I wasn't going to be violent. Eugene stayed silent, he was glancing at the knife in his hand. I, too, was glancing at it, not wanting him to do anything. Just when I thought about taking the knife from him, he moved his arm and put it back in his trousers.

''N-nothing, please don't tell anyone I have it.'' My eyebrows shot up a bit at his words and I bit the inside of my cheek. I knew I should tell someone about it, definitely if he was being so weird about it. But I didn't think he was going to do anything dangerous with it, I mean he was Eugene after all.

''Okay,'' I told him, dreading the word a bit as if I was unsure if I really meant it. ''I won't. But-'' I warned, ''whatever you're going to do, make sure it doesn't harm any of the others. Because if you do, I don't care if you know the cure or not, I _will_ hurt you.'' I threatened, I had taken a few steps closer while I did so and after I was done I slowly took a step back, letting it all sink in for him.

He nervously nodded and before I knew it he was gone, rushing off in a hurry. I rubbed my hand over my face, what had I just done? I told myself it was just a threat, a warning to scare him off, but I knew it wasn't . If he would really hurt the others with whatever stupid thing he was going to do, then I wouldn't hesitate to harm him or put him down, if it would come to that.

After a few seconds of just standing there and staring out in the open I turned around and made my way over to the bookshelves, with the books. I wasn't really planning on reading anything, I didn't really have the patience for that. But I was interested in the kind of books that were just lying around here.

I wasn't really thinking about what section I was in, until I checked the books and realised I was in the self-improvement section. My brain screamed at me to just turn around and walk away, but I was kind of curious to see what I could find here.

My fingers skimmed over the covers, searching for anything that spoke to me personally. Most of this was just learning to love yourself, or about abuse. It seemed like all these things didn't matter anymore, who cared if you didn't love yourself? Or if you had been abused all your life and were still affected by it every single day.

I remember when I was younger that I wanted to be able to help people, I wanted to be a doctor, just like my mom. If someone had fallen and scraped there knee, in kindergarten, I was always the first to go over there and help them, I would tell them it was going to be okay, I would help them. I'd say it was just a scratch and to the person that they'd be fine. I can still see my brother lying in the hospital bed, me telling him it would be okay, just like kindergarten. Only it wouldn't be okay, not this time.

My fingers froze when my eyes found a certain book. It seemed like the air had turned colder and I was contemplating whether to grab the book or not, but my curiosity took over and with a shaky hand I grabbed the book off the shelve, holding it in my hand.

'Losing a parent' The title read and I almost scoffed at the thought. Most people had lost a parent these days, probably both of them. I opened the book on a random page and started to read the content in it.

'- _Mourning is the open expression of your thoughts and feelings about the death. It is an essential part of healing. Expressing your feelings will-_ '' I snapped the book shut, making the sound echo through out the store. I wanted to throw the book against the wall, scream at it. I had no idea where the sudden mood change came from, but I felt really angry at the fact that this book even existed.

Talking wasn't going to do shit. I'd just relive the memories over and over again, having to explain myself. It wasn't going to bring my parents back, it wasn't going to make them understand the guilt I was feeling. I wasn't going to be able to talk to them, I was just going to feel miserable all over again.

My throat felt thick as I tried to take calming breaths. I put the book back with a little more force then was necessary, but I didn't let go of the book. I clenched and unclenched my hand around it, as if I was trying to force myself to let it go. I shut my eyes tight, thinking about burning the book, but refraining myself from doing so. I wanted to-

''Aubrey?'' I heard a voice calling out my name. My eyes snapped open and my head turned to the right to see whoever was calling me, hadn't found my yet. I let out a sigh, glad no one had found me in this state. I rubbed my hand over my face again to get rid of any sadness that was lingering in my face and forced on a neutral expression.

''Over here.'' I called back, glad my voice didn't sound as depressing as I was expecting it to.

Rick appeared from around the corner of book racks with a huge smile on his face. I didn't know why I hadn't recognized his voice, probably because I was really focusing on the freaking book. Unintentionally, my eyes looked back to the book again but I swiftly forced my eyes back to Rick before he noticed.

''What's up?'' His smile grew bigger and I softly chuckled at his childlike behavior. It had been a while.

''We found a vehicle.''

* * *

 **Hey guys,**

 **After thinking about it, I have decided to separate this story into two books. Because I recently read my first chapters again and I couldn't stop cringing. I thought it'd be a good idea to re-write the first chapters, to make it more enjoyable for new readers or for you, if you want to read everything again. I have already rewritten an re-uploaded Chapter 1, so you can check that out if you'd like.**

 **So what can you expect? I think there are around 10 chapters left for this book. While I am uploading new chapters I will also re-upload earlier chapters. Then after this book is done and I have finished rewriting everything, I'll publish the second book. I think the second book will appear really quick after the first one, so don't worry.**

 **I hope I explained it in a way all of you understand, since I am drained from rewriting the first chapter and my English is now very bad.**

 **Reviews and thoughts are always appreciated :D**


	49. Chapter 49

**So sorry for not uploading anything. Exams were insane and I'm glad they're over now. Enjoy!**

* * *

Abraham had been very eager to leave right away. Eventually, Rick, Daryl and Glenn had convinced him to stay just for the night. Abraham had agreed with a sour face, and had distanced himself from the group the rest of the day, annoyed with the group's choice.

Michonne had been sleeping, waking up occasionally throughout the day. Eugene refused to look at me when he returned with whatever he was doing, just like Rosita. Olivia and Tara had returned earlier in the afternoon and we were currently all sitting around the fireplace they had made the previous night.

I was sitting next to Rick, who was holding Judith in his arms. We were leaning against a bookcase, making ourselves comfortable. Judith was bouncing up and down Rick's leg, giggling every few seconds, making Rick and me smile.

Rick was talking about his day, he had scouted the town really quick, also looking for vehicles.

''-I think someone's here.'' Rick suddenly spoke up and my eyes snapped from Judith over to Rick. What? There were people here? Then what were we doing here? Why hadn't we noticed before?

''What do you mean? How did you know that?''

''While I was looking for a vehicle, or some supplies. It seemed like every car I found had slashed tires, at first I though that maybe it was the work of bandits a while ago. But, even our car tires were slashed.'' He told me, referring to the van we had driven yesterday. I frowned slightly, biting my thumbnail. My eyes looked over the group, wondering if they had noticed anything strange too.

I mean, if there indeed were bandits, or another group, around, I had no idea why they hadn't attacked yet. We had been scattered around the town the whole day, the ones left in the library were vulnerable and with only a few numbers. Suddenly my eyes landed on Eugene. He was staring at the two of us, his head was slightly bowed down as if he didn't want to be noticed.

Eugene with the knife in his hand flashed through my mind. He had refused to tell me what he was going to do, didn't want anyone knowing he had a knife with him. It was unusual for Eugene to have a knife and now suddenly, tires were slashed. Eugene probably didn't know that Rick and I had used the van the day before, otherwise he wouldn't have slashed the tires. Did he want to delay our trip?

''How come we have a working vehicle then? If all the tires were slashed?'' I said, still glancing at Eugene, hoping Rick would notice. But he didn't. I wasn't sure if I should tell him, I probably should have.

''We found a stack off car tires in some shed. Along with a lot of walkers.'' He mumbled. It seemed like his mind was already somewhere else, just like mine.

I was hesitating if I should walk over to Eugene or not, if I would right now, it would be suspicious. Everyone would question my motives, plus I would get a lot of assumptions. I was still biting my thumb slightly, staring down at the ground.

Telling Rick would definitely call a scene. He would probably head straight for Eugene and ask him what his problem was. On the other hand, this was my family we were talking about. And I was currently keeping a secret from them, for who? Just someone I didn't know and told everyone he could save the world? Why?

So I did something I probably shouldn't have. I kept my mouth shut.

I wasn't sure why I did it, maybe because I didn't want any drama to start, maybe because I felt bad for Eugene. Anyhow, I was definitely going to talk to him after tonight.

''What's going on with you and Daryl?'' Rick suddenly spoke up and I froze. My head turned to meet his and I visibly swallowed.

''W-What?'' I said, cursing my voice for giving away. ''Nothing.'' I swiftly added.

''Oh,'' Rick spoke up, clearly not believing me in any way. ''That's not what it seems like. Not to Daryl.'' At those word I leaned in a little closer, unintentionally. He had sparked my curiosity.

''Oh,'' I tried to sound casual, ''What-eh- What did he say then?'' I scratched my head in an order to look a bit uninterested, but I felt like I was doing a horrible job. Rick probably thought so too, because he was trying to contain his grin.

''He didn't say anything. He didn't need to.'' After those words his grin slightly faltered, now looking a bit serious. ''We all know Daryl, he's not the easiest. Especially not with feelings.'' I snorted at that,

''Tell me about it.'' I scoffed, my eyes scanned the group again, this time landing on Daryl who was still shoving food in his mouth and talking to Michonne while he was doing it. My eyes swiftly turned back to Rick, not wanting Daryl to notice me watching him.

''I think you need to talk to him.'' I pursed my lips together at his words. I knew I needed to, because Daryl wasn't really the one to take the first step. I guess I was just scared to take it, too.

''I know, but-'' I stopped myself, not really knowing what to say. ''I will.'' I said instead of making an excuse. I would talk to him, I had to. I only needed to find the right timing, and with right timing I meant: With not everybody withing hearing reach.

''Good.'' Rick chuckled softly and put his hand on my shoulders, as a sign of support. I nodded at him a small smile positioned on my face. He removed his hand again and turned back to Judith, who was trying to grab his hair. When I looked over to Daryl I saw he was silently watching me, or more Rick and me. His head was slightly tilted, as if he was trying to figure out our exchange.

Then my eyes turned back to where Eugene was, only this time I found an empty spot. I narrowed my eyes slightly at the place where Eugene used to be and looked around the group, trying to find him hiding amongst the crowd.

Only I didn't see anything. Instantly, crazy ideas flashed through my mind. Maybe he was planning on slashing the tires of our vehicle. Maybe he was planning on something even more dangerous. Within a second I was up on my feet. Rick's eyebrows shot up at my quick action and I thought that this might be a good time to tell him. Several eyes had turned to me and Rick and I was trying to force out the words, trying to tell them that Eugene was going crazy.

But I couldn't. I didn't know why, but I just mumbled about going to the bathroom and rushed out the room. I went in the direction I thought Eugene had stumbled in, but I was just going on a hunch.

Books rushed past me as I tried to find the crazy scientist. My first instinct was to go check outside on the vehicle, hoping it was still intact. I threw open the backdoor, maybe a little too loud. For now, I just ignored it and prayed that nobody inside, our nothing outside, had heard it and went into the direction of the vehicle.

Rick and Abraham had shown all of us the huge firetruck that they'd found. Everything was still intact, except for the tires, and after cleaning the truck up a bit, it was up and running. I let out a huge sigh when I noticed the vehicle was still the same as we'd left it. The tires were intact and after opening the hood of the truck I didn't find anything out of the ordinary.

So maybe Eugene hadn't gone outside at all? He wasn't planning on ruining it for us? Maybe I was wrong and he hadn't done anything, he was just practicing to kill some walkers. Of course he was doing that, he was terrible at it and I wouldn't be surprised if Tara had offered to teach him. But Tara had gone out with Olivia, so that wouldn't have been a possibility. No one could have given him a lesson today, everyone was gone or had something else to do.

''Eugene, what are you doing?'' I whispered to myself. I shut the hood of the trunk, cringing at the sound of the material slamming against the rest of the truck. My knife was quickly in my hand, ready for an attack. If there were any walkers nearby, they definitely heard it, and if Eugene was nearby and doing some crazy shit, I didn't know what to expect from him.

The street was quiet as I observed it. The only thing that could be heard was the occasional chirping of a bird and the wind softly howling throughout the town. If I wasn't so on edge, it would have been quite peaceful. It reminded me of the night Daryl and I had kissed and how happy I'd been at that moment.

Thinking about Daryl's lips on mine reminded me of all the times we were so close to doing just that. About the time before the Governor attacked and right before Michonne showed up, it felt like ages ago.

I walked away from the library. I was just going for a quick check around the building and when then I'd go back inside, just to be sure. As my feet carried me over to the front of the building, since I had exited from the back, a certain sound was growing louder and louder.

In the beginning I hadn't even heard it, later it was just a small sound in the background, but with each step I came closer, and with each step the sound intensified. I reached for my gun, only to find out it wasn't there.I had left it at the library in my hurry to find Eugene. Great, so now I only had my knife. Cursing myself for not taking another second to grab my gun, I repositioned my knife in my hands and pressed myself against the wall.

I was pressed up close at the corner, ready jump around it and attack. I couldn't really detect the sound. It vaguely sounded like somebody was scratching its knife against the wall. The urge to turn around and see who, or what, was causing the sound was almost unbearable.

So I did something that could have been very stupid. I rounded the corner, my knife ready in my hand.

''Don't move.'' I told the figure, I hadn't even looked at it properly, it was just an automatic command. The figure was behind a car rummaging through something. That was probably the sound I had heard earlier. Though, it stopped moving as soon as my words left my mouth.

''Don't shoot.'' A familiar voice stammered, from the tone of his voice it was clear that he was shaking. Of course the figure hadn't seen me yet so it didn't know that I only had a knife, and no gun. ''It's me.'' Eugene said, appearing from behind the car with his hands above his head.

With a sigh I lowered my knife, visibly relaxing after knowing that it wasn't some stranger. But the relief was quickly washed away when I realised that Eugene was out here, alone. I narrowed my eyes at him, gripping the knife in my hand.

''Eugene, What are you doing?'' This was a déja vu from this afternoon, as if we were repeating this conversation all over again.

''I believe that this activity isn't anything of your concern.'' He simply said, keeping his head high. Instead of actually caring about what he said, I stalked over to him to see what was behind the car.

I gasped when my eyes fell on the object, or more like objects, behind the car. At first I was confused as to why someone like Eugene would have these in his possession, but when I thought of the slashed tires everything fell into place.

A box was placed next to the vehicle and in the box were several sharp things. Glass, spikes, light bulbs, and small pocket knifes. I was also wondering where he got the latter one from, it wasn't like they were easy to find right now.

''Did you slash the tires on the cars?'' I furiously turned to Eugene. I forced my knife back into my holster, scared I might lash out at him.

''I have no knowledge of that occurrence.'' He stated, but by the way his bottom lip was slightly pouting and how his hands were shaking by his side I knew he was lying.

''Don't bullshit me. Did you, or did you not slash those tires?'' I already knew he did it, He was a very shitty liar, I just wanted him to confess it.

''I can declare that to be true.'' He stammered, admitting it. When he finally said it I sighed, leaning against the car and wiping my hand across my forehead.

''Okay,'' I started, pinching the bridge of my nose. ''Why did you do it?'' I felt a bit more relaxed after he admitted it, at least now we knew who the problem was and we could fix it, I was hoping Eugene would give me an honest explanation, no more secrets, no more bullshitting.

''I'd rather not inform you about that.'' I pressed my lips together at his words. Okay so what now? I could threaten him to tell me, force him, but I didn't want to do that. It would only make him more scared, make him not trust me.

''Okay, so let me get this straight. You are hindering our journey? _Your_ journey. To save the world.'' After a few seconds of hesitation, Eugene slowly nodded, still not sure if he should be telling me all this. ''And what were you planning with these?'' I pointed at the box full of sharp objects.

''My intention wasn't to kill us!'' He quickly objectified, even though I hadn't accused him of anything. ''According to my calculations it would have hit the tired right before we would leave the towns, and because these object are so midget it would have slowly deflated the tires.''

''So you wanted to deflate the tires?'' I repeated, a bit confused as to why he would want us to stop. ''Do you know how dangerous that could be? What if we got stranded somewhere without anything nearby? We were lucky this town was so close by the bus accident.''

''About that bus, it wasn't an accident.'' At those words I almost stumbled forwards. My eyes widened and I wasn't sure what to say. ''I put crushed glass in the fuel line. It wasn't supposed to go down like that, the vehicle should have failed before it ever got to the road.''

''You-You could have killed us. You could have killed a baby, a kid!''

''It wasn't planned like that.'' He tried to defend himself, he stepped forward but I swiftly pushed him back, keeping him away from me.

''That doesn't matter! You can't put everyone's lives on the line like that!''

''I realise that now and I don't intent on it ever happening again.'' He stated as he was planning on walking away but I grabbed him by his arm.

''Why are you doing this?'' I asked as I looked up at him. He was trying to look anywhere but to me, but I didn't let him. I was glaring him down, making sure that he understood how serious this was. Seeing the guilt in his eyes, confirmed to me that he was indeed regretting his choices.

''I-'' He started, swallowing hard. ''I have no value, if I couldn't save the world, the disease, you wouldn't share your resources with me.'' I slowly let go of his arm, understanding why he did it. I mean, he wasn't a fighter, he wasn't a medic, even though he had basic medicine skills, he was kind of a coward and his only skill was how smart he was. So, I guess I understood. But that still didn't dismiss him from any mistakes that he made.

''That's bullshit.'' I stated, ''We're all together, we all belong in this group. We're one group, we all provide certain things, we all need each other, we need you Eugene.'' I talked to him, realising he needed a pep talk. ''You fixed my ear up, remember?'' I tucked my hair away to show him my wounded ear, it had gotten better and I was barely feeling it anymore.

Eugene wasn't saying anything, he was just staring at my ear. Making me a bit uncomfortable.

''C'mon, let's go inside.'' I told him, while throwing the box of sharp materials in the trashcan. ''I won't tell. Okay? Let's keep this between us.''

Eugene slowly nodded and with those words we walked back inside. Still, I couldn't help but feel a slight twinge in my belly, as if something wasn't right.


	50. Chapter 50

The next morning we were all very eager to get up and leave this place, some of us especially. Michonne was just ready to get up and do something again. After she had slept a whole day, I think she was the most alert and awake of all. Rick had picked out some cute children books to read to Judith and after a bit of pushing, even Carl had brought a book with him. I couldn't help but chuckle at Carl's choice of book. It was a comic book, about an apocalypse.

I think Daryl also didn't like this place very much. He was one of the first to jump into the truck, eager to move. When I asked him about it he just mumbled about the place being 'claustrophobic', which was quite understandable. It wasn't the biggest place and we were with 16.

Olivia had tried to give me some early morning lessons on archery and not to give myself a pat on the back but, I was definitely getting better. I was hitting the target more and more often, which was satisfying. Gabriel had brought another copy of the bible with him. 'In case he loses the first one' he had told us.

Abraham was also one of the first ones to get into the firetruck, Rosita swiftly following after him. Eugene had given me a worried look before jumping into the back of the vehicle. I had just given him a nod, reassuring him I wouldn't tell anyone. Even though I wasn't sure if it was the right decision, I had promised him I wouldn't tell, and I was going to face the consequences of that choice.

After everyone was seated in the truck, Rick and Abraham up front and the rest of us crammed into the back, we took off.

If there wouldn't be any delays, we would reach Washington today. I think I could speak for us all when I said that we were very excited. The thought of everything ending seemed unreal, like it was all just a dream. I thought about how we wouldn't have to keep watch anymore, how we wouldn't have to kill dead people everyday.

My gaze traveled across the group, landing on Carl. He reminded me so much of Teresa. She also wanted to do everything by herself, told herself she could handle it. But she also knew her limit, she knew not to mess with walkers, she never wanted to hold a gun. She would have been the same age as Carl. I was sad I would never get to see her grow up, be a woman, find a husband, get children.

 _''Hey!'' My 8 year old sister greeted me as she dropped her schoolbag into the hall, before heading over to me. Without a warning she jumped up on the couch, snuggling closer to me._

 _''Hey kiddo,'' I mumbled, ''How was school?'' My mom had gone out to get the groceries and my dad was working, I knew I should be working too, but I had just recovered from a cold and wasn't really feeling it today. In other words, I was lazy._

 _''It was great! We made these really cool letters for ourselves.'' I raised my eyebrow at her,_

 _''How can you write a letter for yourself?'' I chuckled softly, ''You'd already know what's in it.''_

 _''Noo!'' She exclaimed, hitting my shoulder. I gasped and acted as if she'd hurt me, which caused her to giggle. ''I mean for me when I'm older!''_

 _At this point she had crawled up on my lap, blocking me from the TV she had my full attention. Her light brown eyes were sparkling as she told me all about what she had written in her new letter. About how she'd decorated it with hearts and glitter and stars._

 _''I want to be an astronaut when I grow up!'' She giggled as she threw her little fist in the air. ''I want to go to the moon and count_ _ **all**_ _the stars!''_

 _''All of them?'' I chuckled, but she enthusiastically nodded. She wriggled a bit on my lap, throwing her legs to one side and leaning her head against my chest._

 _''What do you want to be when you grow up?'' She suddenly asked._

 _''I think I'm already grown up,'' I told her. With my 24 years, I'd like to think I'm a grown up. But her question did make me think, was this really what I wanted to be? Did I want to be a administrator all my life? I think the answer to that was pretty clear. But what else could I be? What did I want to be?_

 _''Okay,'' She mumbled, pressing her lips together while thinking, ''What do you want to be when you're_ _ **more**_ _grown up?'' Several possibilities flashed through my mind. I could keep on doing what I was doing right now, I could get married, have kids, I could quit my job. Traveling the world was also something I'd always wanted to do._

 _''I- I want to be-'' I stopped to think about my answer for a second. ''I want to be_ _ **happy**_ _,'' I finally stated. Teresa looked up towards me face and I gave her a slight smile._

 _''Me too,'' She mumbled._

I was clutching my mother necklace in my hand, thinking about what could have been. I miss all the little talks we had, the arguments about who's turn it was to clean up the room. I remember the time I told her I had my own apartment, after a huge fight with my parents. Teresa had been so sad and disappointed when I left.

I often thought about what I would do if she was still here. I'd cherish her so much more. I'd keep her safe, teach her how to protect herself.

Suddenly, several groans were heard as the truck shook a bit and stopped completely.

''Not again.'' Olivia sighed leaning her head against my shoulder in frustration. I chuckled and pulled myself up from the ground, taking my bag with me. It wasn't long before everyone else followed and we all looked at Abraham who was calmly trying to fix the bus.

It was an understatement to say that I was surprised at Abraham's calm behavior. He was a hothead and would often get mad at every little thing that went wrong. He also told me that he felt like something was delaying every time. He wasn't necessarily wrong about that, Eugene had been the one to make sure we all slowed down.

Rick was asking Abraham what the problem was, but Abraham shrugged and told him he had no clue what it was. It could be a lot of things. I dropped my bag in frustration and leaned on Olivia, who was also leaning on me.

So, we were probably going to be here a while. I saw Eugene grabbing his book and walking to the back of the firetruck to go read. This could have easily been Eugene. Even though he'd told me he wouldn't try anything to stop us again, it was very suspicious. I mean, he had tried to break the truck the night before and now suddenly the truck had broken down, again.

I stood up straight again, not leaning on Liv anymore, and grabbed my bag from the ground. While I walked over to Eugene I swung the bag over my shoulder, I never knew when I'd need it, it just felt like something I had to have on me constantly.

Eugene was leaning against the back of the truck, reading a book that looked kind of boring to me. Eugene's eyes went up and met mine, I noticed how he visibly tensed up and I felt bad about how nervous I made him. I didn't want to make him nervous or scared, I just didn't want him to fuck around.

''I can inform you that I have nothing to do with this accident. I can promise you that.'' He spoke before I could even ask him. I leaned against the corner of the truck, letting my bag fall down my shoulder and grabbing it with just my hand.

''Okay,'' I stated, ''Then I believe you.'' I sat down next to him, feeling guilty if I would just leave him like that. ''What are you reading?'' I asked.

''H.G. Wells, the shape of things to come.'' He told me, closing his book but keeping one finger in between to make sure he would know where he was. ''Science Fiction. It speculates on future events from 1933 until the year 2106. It predicts the future.'' He explained to me.

''Seems cool, you think I can borrow it when you're done?'' I asked him, not sure if he actually wanted to lent it to me.

''You like Science Fiction?'' He questioned, his facial features full of shock.

''I read almost everything, so yeah, also Science Fiction.'' Eugene nodded, a faint smile on his face as he looked down at the book once more. I decided to let him have his reading time and hauled myself up again, heading back to Olivia.

And that's the time where everything went to shit. As I walked over to the rest of the group again a certain smell hit my nose. I stopped walking immediately and placed my hand over my mouth and nose as I gagged.

''What is that?'' Maggie coughed as she placed her wrist across her mouth to stop her from smelling it.

''Whatever it is its bad.'' Olivia stated, quickly grabbing her bow and arrows.

''Let's check it out.'' Rick offered, ''Just a few.'' He quickly added as multiple people had started to grab a weapon and wanted to head out. He ordered Carl to stay and watch Judith. Sasha wanted to come along and Tyreese decided to stay.

Eventually Rick, Daryl, Sasha, Abraham, Glenn, Olivia and I went along to check up on what was causing that smell.

To be honest, it was much farther then I expected it to be. We were walking for about 10 minutes before we hit the top of some kind of hill.

At the sight in front of me my knees felt weak and I had to grab Olivia's arm to make sure that all of this was real. When I looked at the other I noticed how shocked they were too. We weren't going to survive _that_.

Thousands and thousands of walkers were scattered across two farms and even beyond that you could see walkers just mindlessly shuffling around, probably thinking about their next meal. I definitely didn't want to be their next one.

Rick was pinching the bridge of his nose and Glenn was shaking his head as he stared at the massive herd. Daryl was just looking at the herd and back to Rick, probably wondering what his next plan was going to be.

What were we going to do? We had to make a detour, again, without a vehicle at this point, unless Abraham could just magically fix it.

''I will not abandon this ship.'' Abraham suddenly mumbled.

''Abraham.'' Sasha said, ''We need to go. Find out if there's a detour.''

''No.'' Abraham objected. ''We detoured and detoured and I'm not playing that game anymore. I'm sick of it.'' At this Glenn stepped forward towards Abraham.

''We aren't going through this okay? We can't.'' He pointed at the walkers that were still oblivious to our presence.

''We don't stop, we don't go back.'' He told Glenn sternly, before returning to look at the walkers. The longer we stayed here the more nervous I got, scared we would talk a word to loud and they'd turn their heads and see us.

''I'm not talking about going back.'' Glenn reassured Abraham. ''Just a few miles south-''

''No!'' Abraham suddenly yelled and we all jumped back a bit at Abraham's sudden outbrust.

'''We don't go back! We can't go back! We're so close!'' At this point Daryl and Rick had stepped forward.

''Abraham, I need you to listen to me.'' Rick said putting his hand up in between them to help calm him down, or I whatever it was for. But Abraham refused to listen to him, he just pushed everyone out of the way and walked back to the fire truck.

I gave Olivia a look before all of us hurried after him. He was going crazy, he clearly wasn't thinking straight and I was scared about what he might do.

I had to jog to keep up with them, not having a fast pace. So, I was also the last one to arrive. I watched as Abraham grabbed Eugene by his forearm and started to drag him back to the truck.

''Abraham!'' Rosita yelled at him at the same time that Tara tried to push him away from Eugene.

''You need to calm down!'' Michonne said ready to get her katana out but I swiftly shook my head at her, noticing that it wouldn't be a good idea.

''Get out of my way.'' Abraham said as he dragged Eugene with him. At this point,everyone had circled Abraham trying to get him away from Eugene. Eugene had started to look paler and paler by the second, his eyes were darting across everybody, scared.

''Abraham stop! You're scaring everybody!'' Rosita yelled and as a response Abraham pushed Rosita. Apparently Abraham didn't know his own strength because she stumbled backwards and fell into a ditch, Maggie hurried over to her to help her up.

Rick was getting his gun out, Daryl was grabbing his crossbow and everyone else was on edge, ready to help if necessary. Rick pointed the gun at Abraham ready to threaten him, Eugene saw this happening and started to yell along with everybody.

''I'm not a scientist!'' He yelled, but almost no one was paying attention to him so he had to yell again.

''I'm not a scientist!'' Everyone stopped doing what they were doing, Rick shockingly lowered his gun, Abraham loosened his grip on Eugene, who gladly pulled out of it. He took a few steps back, away from the group.

''I'm not a scientist.'' He said again, only a bit softer. I froze at his words. My mind became numb. He wasn't a scientist, he wasn't a scientist, it was all just a lie. The glass in the fuel tank of the bus, the tires Eugene had slashed, it wasn't because he was scared we were going to abandon him after this, he was scared because everything had been a lie.

''I lied, I'm not a scientist. I don't know how to stop it. I'm not a scientist.'' He stood there, twiddling with his thumbs, looking very scared.

''You are a scientist, I've seen the things that you can do.'' Rosita objected. I looked over at Abraham and saw he was staring at Eugene with so much shock, he was dumbfounded. Rick didn't look so good either, he was rubbing his mouth constantly and ruffling his hair in order to think.

''I know I'm smarter than most people, I know I'm a very good liar, and I know I needed to get to DC.'' He stated, sounding a bit more confident then before.

''Why?'' Maggie asked, holding a rifle in her hands as she let out a shaky sigh.

''Because I do believe that locale holds the strongest possibility for survival, and I wanted to survive. If I could cheat some people into taking me there, well, I just reasoned that I'd be doin' them a solid, too, considering the perilous state of the city of Houston, the state of everything.'' He explained to us. My numbness was slowly starting to change into anger, he was such a coward, thinking the only way he could survive was to lie, to play with our thoughts. He had given us hope, had given us a reason to keep going, and now he had shattered everything with a few sentences.

''People died trying to get you here.'' Rosita said, her voice breaking as she willed herself not to cry. Abraham had crouched down, leaning on his rifle for support.

''I'm aware of that- Stephanie, Warren, Pam, Rex, Roger, Josiah, Dirk, and Josephine.'' There was a slight pause as he had listed all the names, ''And Bob.'' He shakily said at the end, meeting gazes with Sasha who was clutching her machine gun so hard her knuckles were turning white. Tyreese comfortingly rubbed her shoulders as a few tears fell down her cheek.

''You see, I lost my nerve as we grew closer. For I am a coward and the reality of getting to our destination and disclosing the truth of that matter became some truly frightening shit.'' He said his eyes locking with mine for a second. I don't know what he expected, understanding? Sympathy maybe? Well he wasn't getting any of that from me, I just narrowed my eyes at him. I had trusted him on his word, and he'd lied.

''So I took it upon myself to slow our roll. Find time to finesse things so when we got there-'' He stopped talking, his eyes wandering the group and every time his eyes connected with one of us he immediately looked down at the ground.

''But at this moment I fully realize, there are no longer any agreeable options. I was screwed either way.'' He was quiet after that, letting everything sink in.

What were we going to do with him now? I would suggest we leave him, try to find his own way to DC. I was refusing to look at someone from the group. It was partly my fault, had I just told Rick or someone what was going on, then maybe he had told us earlier and we wouldn't have been in this situation.

''Now you may want to leave me here-'' Eugene said and at those words Rick seemed to jump out of his thoughts. It was like everything went in slo-motion. I saw Rick reaching towards his holster and taking out his gun, Maggie and I locked eyes. Rick was already raising his gun at Eugene, and I felt my heart skip a beat at the sound of it cocking.

Maggie and I both rushed over to Eugene, stepping in front of him and raising our hands at Rick.

''Woh woh woh!'' I said and Maggie was doing something similar to that. I wasn't going to lie, having a gun pointed at you by Rick was scary. There was this slight fear that he wouldn't react soon enough and he'd pull the trigger, but fortunate for me and Maggie he didn't do anything. He also hadn't lowered his gun.

''Rick.'' I told him while trying to control my breathing. I saw Rick's arm waver for a bit before he fully lowered the gun. Maggie and I let out a sigh and we gave each other a slight smile. The walkers out there certainly would have heard the shot and then we'd all have been dead, not only Eugene.

Just as we stepped out of the way someone else had a testosterone fit of rage. Abraham had stood up from his crouched position and headed towards Eugene, who backed away. Abraham was fast to deliver him a punch to the face. We all shot forward to stop him from hitting Eugene again but we weren't fast enough and Eugene received another blow to the face. He had stumbled backwards and his face his the windshield with a slight crack before his eyes rolled backwards in his head and he fall down, face first.

''Oh shit.'' I said and I heard several others curse as well. Maggie and Tara rushed over to Eugene as Rick and Daryl jumped in front of Abraham, Rick had his gun raised and Daryl his crossbow.

''Ya need to chill out.'' Daryl snapped at him as he glanced over at Eugene lying on the ground. Abraham glared down at the two of them, clenching his fists by his side. Even though Daryl and Rick were both armed and ready to do something if he moved in the wrong direction, I still placed my hand on my own gun, just to be sure.

After a few tense second Abraham grunted and walked away, leaving us with an unconscious Eugene. All of us turned to him, watching his bloodied pale face.

''What now?'' Tara asked.

* * *

 **Review? Thoughts?**


	51. Chapter 51

Glenn, Tara and Rosita had decided to go and look for any water and food, since we were running low. Even though we all knew that the three of them wouldn't be able to bring enough food for the whole group, we still had to try. Rick and Maggie were watching Abraham. Maggie was there to make sure the two men wouldn't lunge at each other, while Rick was there to stop Abraham if he decided to do anything 'reckless'.

Daryl had been pacing behind the vehicle the whole time. I guess he was just eager to get away from here. The walkers were still close, but we couldn't move Eugene, that could only make things worse. The whole situation was very similar as to when Michonne had been unconscious.

The rest was just silently talking to each other, or sitting and thinking about the whole situation, like I was.

I wasn't sure what to think about everything. Was I disappointed? Yes. Did I wish everything Eugene had said about the cure was true? Yes. Did I expect this? Sadly, yes. Maybe it was just because I didn't have a lot of faith in humanity anymore, or maybe I was just scared that everything would go wrong, but I never fully put my heart and soul into this quest like Abraham had and look at him now. He has completely broken down. I guess Eugene's quest or mission, gave him a purpose. Abraham's lost something.

I felt bad for him. He just wanted to help people, wanted to save them. He had done so much to keep Eugene safe, to keep us safe. All for nothing.

When Daryl stopped pacing and headed for Rick, my gaze followed the archer as he whispered something to Rick. I tried to eavesdrop on it but I could only catch a few words, not enough for me to understand what they were talking about.

Daryl looked very focused while Rick was just frowning and moving his hands as he talked. Even though I was curious, I realized it was useless and I let my eyes wander over to Maggie and Abraham.

Abraham was sitting with his knees on the ground, staring at the road ahead. I figured he wasn't really looking at anything, I guess he was just thinking. He could have been in shock. I felt an urge to go check if he was alright, or maybe to figure out what his thoughts were on this whole ordeal. Whatever they were, they probably weren't very positive.

My eyes jumped over to Rosita who was talking to Glenn. While they were talking she would just flicker her eyes over to Abraham for a second and then return to Glenn.

I still had no idea what was going on between those two, but I guess it also wasn't my problem. I didn't want to be nosy, I just thought that maybe I could help. Not that that's always a good idea. Getting help from me. I wasn't the best at relationships, or any kind of ships. I wasn't spending as much time with Olivia as I wanted and every time I wanted to ask her about her family it seemed as if something else would jump up.

Daryl brushing past me seemed to snap me out of my thoughts. My eyes followed the archer as he swiftly headed towards his bag. He grabbed it, opening it and checking its contents. Then I looked over to Rick who was silently watching him, when his eyes met mine he mouthed 'go talk to him' to me. I took me a few seconds to fully process what he was saying, but after realizing I'd find out eventually I turned to him and walked over to the familiar figure, hunched over the bag.

''What are you doing?'' I asked him, my voice sounding a bit more nervous then I would have liked. What surprised me was that Daryl seemed to freeze for a second at the sound of my voice. But before I could fully realize what he was doing he already recovered and stood up, bringing his bag with him.

''I'mma go further away, scatter some supplies. It'll probably take about two days.'' He answered, not looking at me in the eye longer then a millisecond. I wasn't shocked at Daryl's offer to help the group. I was shocked with the fact that he wanted to do this alone. So this is why Rick was frowning and told me to go talk to him.

Daryl and I were standing in the middle of the group, most of them were still watching Eugene or talking to each other but other were silently eavesdropping on our conversation. It wasn't a comfortable feeling.

''Where are you going then? And how are you gonna do it on your own?'' I questioned, believing that what he was doing wasn't the best thing for the group, or for himself. He could get himself surrounded, or hurt, or _killed_.

Daryl didn't answer my question, he swung his crossbow over his shoulder and grabbed his hand gun, checking the magazine. I clenched my hands into a fist, refraining myself from shouting at him.

''Daryl?'' I said touching his arm lightly. He instantly flinched his arm away from me and turned towards me.

''I don't need to explain myself to ya.'' He grumbled before he stormed off into the woods, heading to wherever he was going. Realizing I didn't have a lot of time left, I grabbed my backpack, swung it over my shoulder without checking what was inside.

I turned to the forest, ready to go after Daryl before I could lose him, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I was faced with Olivia who's eyes darted to the forest where Daryl had disappeared in and me.

''Liv I-'' I started, trying to convince her to let me go, but she just shushed me and enveloped me in a hug. It wasn't a long one, she swiftly pushed back after a few seconds and reached behind her, grabbing her bow and arrow.

I thought she was going to come with me but when she placed her bow in my hands I was surprised. I watched the bow with a slight smile on my face, she never let anyone touch that thing, now she was giving it to me?

''You can borrow it. You need it more than we do. Just- be careful with it.''

''But I'm a terrible shot.'' I argued with her. I really appreciated the gesture but I doubted if it would really help me out there.

''You're better than you think. Now go after him.'' She pointed at the forest behind me and I grinned up at her. Thanking her while I turned around and sprinted into the forest.

I didn't like the forest. Yes, it was a great place to hide. But that meant other people could as well. I couldn't fully cover myself, there could be something behind me and I had no idea of it.

I wanted to call out Daryl's name, but I figured it would only piss him off more. I guess this would too. But I refused to let Daryl go out alone. I knew anybody could have joined him. Rick could, Maggie could, Glenn could, Tyreese could, almost everyone could have, but Rick told me to go and talk to him for a reason.

I ran through the forest as fast as I could, well I stumbled through the forest. I would keep tripping over branches or rocks as I headed in the direction Daryl went, or I think Daryl went. Normally I wouldn't have tripped over all these things, but in my hurry to find Daryl I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings.

I stopped when I heard something shuffle on my right. I swiftly grabbed my knife in my hand as I looked in the direction of the sound. I was hoping that it would be Daryl, I was expecting it to be Daryl. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it was a walker.

I was used to killing of walkers, but still every time I'd see them there was still this tiny little girl in me that wanted to run away. I guess that will never change. Just like when I was little, I used to be afraid of spiders, but I was still able to kill them. But the first time I'd see it crawling through my room I would always have a minor heart attack.

I softly chuckled and my the comparison of walkers and spiders and walked forward to end the dead things existence.

The sound of a blade crunching its skull reached my ears, but to my surprise it wasn't my knife that had killed the walker. As the now officially dead body crumbled to the ground, Daryl became visible behind it.

''Hey Daryl.'' I smiled at him, but my smile faltered as I noticed to look on his face. He was pissed off. He turned around and headed in his previous direction without saying a word to me. I followed him, also keeping my mouth shut.

The only sound was the crunching of leaves below our feet as we walked through the trees, me trying to avoid as many branches as I could. Daryl's temper could be felt as he stomped in front of me, refusing to even look in my direction.

I wanted to talk to him, ask him about his sudden change of behavior, but I was a bit scared to ask him. I knew that as soon as I opened my mouth a bomb would go off. Might as well get it over with.

''Daryl,'' I started, Daryl stopped in his tracks, making me do the same. His back was still turned to me, but I could see him clench his fists, one clutching the knife that had just killed off a walker.

''Where are we going?'' I asked.

''Richmond.'' Was the simple answer I got. I wasn't sure if Richmond was a smart idea. It was a big city and if I were him, I'd avoid the big cities. But there definitely would be supplies, so that was a plus.

''Look, I just want to-'' I started but Daryl swiftly turned around, glaring at me

''Ya want to what? You want to _talk_?'' He mocked, his voice growing louder by the second. ''Like that's going to be off any help! Ya just can't leave me alone can ya? Its like you gotta be in everybody's business constantly, can't ya just fuck off!?'' He raised his hands, pointing at me while he blew off some steam, well a lot of steam.

''I didn't ask ya to come, but ya ain't listening to no one are ya? You're so damn stubborn and expect everyone to just bow down when ya say somethin'.'' I flinched at his words, I had expected him to be a bit harsh, but not this harsh.

''But what about-?''

''About what? About us? There ain't no us!'' He finished off, his hands were slightly shaking by his side and my gaze dropped down to them. I tried to ignore the pang in my heart as he said those words. 'There ain't no us!' Of course I wasn't expecting Daryl to just drop down on one knee and ask me to be his girlfriend, but I did thought there was something going on. Apparently not.

''Okay then,'' I trailed off, averting my eyes to the ground. My lips were pressed together as I tried not to think about his words too much, scared I'd start to cry. ''Thank you for clearing that up.'' I said and when I finally found the courage to look up at him I saw a neutral face, no emotion.

He had closed himself off, not wanting to let me in. I brushed past him and headed to the direction that I thought was Richmond.

Daryl's words stung. I mean yeah, we did have our arguments before, but never this big. It wasn't really an argument, it was just him telling me how it was. I hated it when Daryl and I fought, I mean everything was already shitty enough and now we weren't on speaking terms anymore everything was even more shitty.

I knew I could start to yell at Daryl too, tell him all those things that bugged me. Him closing off from me, ignoring me after we kissed, him putting himself in danger all the time to protect the group. He was so selfless, he didn't even care about himself.

The tension was even higher then before as we straggled through the woods in silence. My mind was going insane, wishing I had done things differently. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed him that night, maybe I should have waited. What if I had just talked to him first? Waited with the physical contact, not that we'd had a lot of that. At least he's made it clear that he doesn't have any interest in me.

I guess he just regretted kissing me back that night and that's the reason he didn't talk to me. I wish he'd said something sooner, I felt like I had been chasing something that wasn't even there to begin with.

Eventually the trees cleared out a bit and before both of us knew it we were on a highway. Daryl mumbled something about going to find a car and left me alone. I watched his retreating figure with different emotions all at once. There was confusion, curiosity, sadness, hope.

Daryl opened one of the car doors and disappeared in the car. I turned to my right and saw a red Ford Fiesta. The color would definitely attract some attention but a bright car was better then no car. I walked over to it and tried to open the door. Fortunately the door opened. When I opened the car door a wave of dust immediately hit my nose, causing me to sneeze.

The car seemed to be in good shape. It was clear that the pre-owner really liked this car and kept it clean. It also surprised me that no parts were missing but when I looked in the trunk of the car I was sad to see that everything had been taken here. There were three suitcases, ripped open and robbed of everything useful. Maybe if there had been some supplies here, we wouldn't have to go all the way to Richmond.

Why Daryl had chosen Richmond had left me clueless. It was a big town, that would mean loads of walkers. He also could have just went along the smaller towns and just scattered whatever was left. That seemed like the safer option to me, but safety was never really Daryl's priority if we were talking about him.

I jumped when Daryl appeared besides me. I hadn't noticed him walking over to me and observing the car I was currently inspecting. Without saying a word to me he threw out the suitcases, with made me take a few steps back for precaution. When the trunk was empty he reached down to the platform and I heard something click before he opened it, revealing a secret space underneath the trunk.

''How did you-?'' I started.

''Had one in my car, for huntin'.'' He interrupted me, not caring about me finishing my sentence. The secret space didn't have as much as I had hoped. There was a revolver inside, with some ammo, but that was it. Daryl grabbed the revolver and stuffed it in his pants, hiding hit under his shirt. I couldn't but follow his movements and I felt my heart skip a beat as he lifted his shirt up a bit to place the gun there.

I averted my eyes, trying not to think about it. Jesus Aubrey, stop it. I coughed awkwardly, hoping Daryl wouldn't have caught on to my weird behavior.

''You think you can get this car started?'' I tried to start a conversation, hoping Daryl's mood would change a bit. He just scoffed in a response, so much for trying. Daryl hopped into the drivers seat and I sat down next to him in the passengers seat. I swiftly searched the car while Daryl went down to work with the different kinds of wires.

The dashboard had nothing interesting, there was a small picture of a child and I didn't dare to touch it. It made me feel like we were invading someone's space, even though this person was probably dead already. He probably got overrun im the early days and ran out of his car, taking his keys with him.

"You ready?" I asked him and he ignored me, focusing on the different colored wires. His behavior was starting to annoy me, he had told me his thoughts, so I was hoping he'd calm down a bit and treat me like a normal person, not like a kid he had to babysit.

I threw my hands up in the air and muttered a prayer into the sky. When I was done with being dramatic I fell down onto the passenger seat, watching Daryl as he was clutching the the wires and trying to make a spark.

I felt my eyes travelling over his toned arms and his hair that desperately needed a wash. I cursed myself as my heart started to beat faster as I remembered all the things we'd done together, things we'd gotten through. I hated still feeling like this, I wished it was easy to stop liking someone, that would save me so much trouble.

Why did I even like Daryl? He was a hothead, he didn't show his emotions, didn't take a bath.. But he was also really sweet, selfless, protective over the group, his gorgeous blue eyes, and his smile..

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I heard the engine of the car come to live.

"Let's go," Daryl said as he shut the door behind him and stepped on the gas before I even had a chance to fasten my seat belt.


	52. Chapter 52

The car came to a stop a few miles before Richmond. Since we didn't want to attract any unnecessary attention to us.

To say the trip to Richmond was awkward was an understatement. Nobody had spoken a word and Daryl's tension was practically flowing off of him. He had been gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing that was keeping him alive.

I had tried to avoid his presence completely and stare straight at the road. Sometimes I'd catch myself stealing glances at him, but I'd scold myself for doing so and direct my head at the road again.

At those times I missed the option to turn on the radio, or put a cd in the cd player. Now, you just had to endure the tension and hope you arrived soon.

Daryl shut the car door behind him as he stepped our, I followed his lead and closed the door with one hand while the other was already reaching for my machete.

Richmond could already be seen in the distance. The buildings and the bridge stood tall from far away. The city seemed to be intact, but nothing could be said for now.

I had grabbed my machete in my hand as we walked towards the city. Daryl had his cross swung around his torso and a knife in his hand.

We were walking off the road but made sure to follow it as we stalked through the trees. I hadn't seen any walker yet, which worried me a bit. That meant that either all the walkers were in the city or they had spread out throughout the area. I hoped it was the latter.

I was contemplating whether or not to grab Olivia's bow. I didn't think I'd need it in the city and I would feel bad if I didn't use it at all. I placed my machete back on my belt and grabbed the bow, lightly placing an arrow in it. I liked the feeling of the bow, how light it was and how much speed you could give your arrow.

A groan was heard on my right and I swiftly turned and pulled back the bow string. As expected, a walker stumbled out the trees. The woman was dressed in an oversized shirt and shorts. There was a huge bite mark in her leg and I felt bad for her. I waited until it had come a bit closer and let go of the arrow, watching it hit her eye socket. It crumbled to the ground and I walked forward, yanking it out.

''You saw that?'' I said with excitement as I turned to Daryl. My enthusiasm instantly faded away when I realised I was supposed to be mad at Daryl. I pressed my lips together into a thin line to hide any emotion I had shown and kept on walking, ignoring Daryl's confused look.

I know what you're thinking. It's that time of the month again isn't it? Well, I'm just gonna guess that it would be, if I had my period. It's been a long time since I actually had my period, the last time was probably the prison.

Damn, we really needed to find a place. We needed a consistency, food, water, a bed to sleep in. I could tell I wasn't the only one who had started to grow a bit desperate. Rick was getting more and more paranoid, anxious. He needed to get some rest. After a talk with Michonne I found out that she'd totally agreed with me. She'd told me about the time before she found the prison, before Andrea. About how she had been in some sort of trance, how she was out there too long.

I realized that I'd gone through the exact same thing. When my family died and my mom was the only one I had left, I felt really alone in the world. It was like I was going down a spiral and I just couldn't get out. I was just trying to grasp onto something, to stay alive. For me that was protecting the only family I had left. Convincing myself I had something left to live for.

I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for my mom. Even though she felt helpless, she was my rock, without her knowledge.

I shook my head to get rid of my thoughts. There was no time to be depressive right now. I could cry, yell, scream, be sad all I wanted back with the group. Not now, not here.

I noticed that Daryl had slowed down his pace and I turned around to snap at him when I caught his eyes, looking at me. Suddenly, the words seemed to be stuck in my throat and breathing became harder and harder. I didn't even remember what I was going to say as I looked into his eyes. There were so many unsaid words in his eyes, so many untold stories, life experiences, feeling he never showed.

When Daryl noticed me staring at him he picked up his pace so that he walked next to me. I gave myself a mental slap and continued walking with him next to me.

None of us had said anything, but we both knew what we were trying to say. I guess we both felt the same way. My brain was screaming at me to focus, that he just told me he didn't like me. That he had found me annoying and snooper. But my heart was telling me something else. Something about his words, about the way his eyes looked when he yelled at me, seemed wrong.

When I looked up in front of me, we were standing in front of the bridge that led to the city. The bridge was full of cars, crashed into one another. It was a chaos. I could already see some walkers inside the cars, groaning in boredom.

I pulled out my machete, a bow wasn't going to do a lot of good in this situation. It wasn't like I could shoot through glass that easily. A machete was just easier.

Daryl had his crossbow out, an arrow already placed onto it. We were slowly zigzagging through the cars, trying not to attract any walkers or set of any car alarms.

We passed a red Honda, the car doors were all open and there was dust, covering the complete inside and outside of the vehicle. Blood was covering the seats and I shivered, wondering what had happened.

My eyes went over to Daryl who had passed me and was now in front of me. His shoulders were tense as he held up his crossbow and the moment reminded me of one of the first days in the prison, where we had just started to discover the hallways. I had been behind him, shining my flashlight on his jacket and wondering what was up with those angel wings.

Maybe they were just a reassurance for him, a way of proof that there was indeed some good in this world. It was hard to tell nowadays. I think nobody's hands were really clean at this point. We've all done things, to stay alive, to keep our family alive.

'''nough with this slow pace. Keep it up girl.'' Daryl told me over his shoulder, never turning to face me, and started to jog ahead. It didn't take me long to react and soon I was jogging after him, following his path. I didn't want to take another route and accidentally stumble upon a walker on the ground.

In a matter of time we were on the other side of the bridge and we didn't stop there. We did slow down a notch, but we kept on going, while our guards were up. Daryl had his crossbow by his side now as his arms swung back and forth while he jogged, I guessed he was used to it. Probably jogged before the outbreak, unlike me. I was having some trouble keeping up, never being the athletic girl at school or after school was showing. I was out of breath and another layer of sweat was starting to form on my skin.

Even though the running wasn't pleasant, my surroundings kept me occupied. Several houses had been destroyed by fire or just vandalism. The bodies that had scattered around them had't gone unnoticed. Their legs were twisted in weird angles, or some were even gone. Upper body parts were lying around, random arms and legs were distributed inside buildings.

Daryl and I shot each other a look. We had to set aside our 'differences' right now. We both knew that, we had to have each others back.

''Daryl,'' I hissed through my teeth, trying not to attract any hiding walkers. ''Daryl.'' I said again, this time he turned around and shot me a glare, obviously not very pleased with me distracting him.

''What?''

''Where are we going exactly?'' I questioned, turning my head several times to make sure we were inaudible. ''Like what are we looking for.'' Daryl sighed and turned his head back, walking in the direction he was previously going.

''Food.'' He told me and I almost rolled my eyes at the obvious answer, but he wasn't finished. ''Some kind'a storage place. Keep yer eyes open.''

I almost felt obliged to give him a sarcastic retort back but I thought it may be best if I didn't, since he wasn't my greatest fan right now.

My eyes scanned over the streets. There were very few walkers around, and I was glad about that, but it also seemed very odd. Richmond was a large city and the number of walkers we had encountered with today was worryingly low. I wanted to shrug it off, saying they were probably loured over to the centre of the city.

I saw a bakery in the street, but it seemed like there wasn't a big chance of us getting anything there. There was a walker inside, pounding against the glass when it saw us. I doubted anyway if there would have been something that hadn't grown moldy by now. The walker seemed heavy and it was wearing a blue shirt with the bakery logo on it. I assumed it used to be one of the owners.

Furthermore there was a restaurant, which was evident by the tables and chair outside. There was also a small store where I couldn't read the sign anymore.

My eyes widened when I saw something just around the corner and I prayed to god that it was what I thought it was.

I tapped Daryl on his shoulder and pointed the store out on the corner. It took him a moment before he realised what I was actually pointing out to him but when he found out he slowly grinned to himself and told me 'nice work'.

I gave myself a mental pat on the back as I followed him through to the end of the street. I slashed my machete through a walkers head and didn't even bother to look at as I pulled it out and the walker collapsed onto the street.

My eyes were mainly focused on the building that we neared. A massive Walmart was in front of us. I could imagine how it looked back when people hadn't started to eat each other. When I looked down at the entrance it was stained with bloody hand prints and smears of blood.

I felt a bit anxious at the thought of going in there. There'd be walkers, without a doubt. I guessed there'd be a small heard of them in there, just waiting for stupid people like us to eat. But we really needed to food, the supplies. If Glenn, Rosita and Tara hadn't found anything that meant we were out of food for the second day in a row.

Judith needed the food. Carl needed to food. Eugene would need food and water after he'd woken up. If, I corrected myself, If he'd wake up. Just at the thought I grew more and more anxious. I just wanted to get the stuff and get out of here.

Daryl was walking towards the entrance, when he'd reached it he turned and walked around the building. Trying to find any other entrance or exit, depending on when we'd need which.

I followed him slowly, not wanting to interrupt his little concentration bubble. He walked to the right of the building and disappeared around the corner. I took a step forwards to hobble after him when I heard something break behind me.

Instantly, my muscles tensed and I turned around within a second. My machete was raised high, to protect my face. My eyes were narrowed and took in every bit of the street, looking for anything out of the ordinary.

My heart was racing as something moved within a store. It seemed like someone was standing there, watching me. So I did the smartest thing I could do. I walked towards it.

It seemed to have been a clothing store of some sorts. I opened to door, cringing when a little bell rang. some clothes had been scattered on the ground, but overall everything seemed intact. It didn't look like there'd been a huge fight here, or if someone had killed themselves, or if there were any walkers presence. But that didn't help me from shivering. This place gave me a uncomfortable feeling.

My eye saw something from my right and with an enraged yell I turned and stabbed it. The weight from the object took me by surprise, it was much lighter then I expected it to be, and it send us tumbling to the ground.

I had let go of my machete when I fell and pushed myself up with my elbows. When I was kneeling on the ground, I reached for my machete, finally taking a good look at the thing I'd hit.

I flushed deep red when I saw my target. It had been a mannequin. It's head was completely chopped off and had rolled a few feet farther then its body. It had probably been the same thing that I had seen from outside. I softly chuckled to myself as I stood up and wiped away the dust from my pants.

Placing my machete back in my holster, I took another look around the store. There were two other mannequins in the back of the store, who looked exactly the same as the one I had just tried to slaughter.

Of course I'd be the one to attack a mannequin. Who else? It still didn't explain the broken glass though. After pondering about it for a few second, I shrugged my shoulders to myself. It easily could have been a walker that was trying to get out of a store. Or an animal that had knocked something over.

I remember I used to have a cat that knocked everything over. I was always taught that cats were supposed to be gracious and flexible. Well not this cat. I had named him Dum. Because it looked like the word dumb, very original I know. I swear to god, every time I had brought something new, he'd knock it over and 9 out of ten times, he would break it. Maybe he just did that on purpose.

The bell attached to the door rang and I jumped, grabbing my machete again and pointing it at the figure that came waltzing through the front door.

When he saw me he instantly stalked over to me and my heart skipped a beat. He grabbed my by my shoulders with anger in his eyes and shook me.

''Are ya crazy?'' Daryl yelled at me, ''Where the heck were ya?''

''I was just-'' I told him while pointing at the headless mannequin, ''Taking care of something.'' I awkwardly coughed at my choice of words and gave him a goofy smile.

His gaze fell on the mannequin and then back to me. He raised an eyebrow at me and I just gave him an awkward shrug, letting my smile fall.

''Let's just go.'' I mumbled, walking out the store.

So apparently Daryl had found two capable entrances, which were also our exits for if things went wrong. If that didn't work? We'd get ripped apart by walkers. Not my favourite way to die.

The first entrance was the front. Which didn't seem like the most smart option. There was a strong change that be the most crowded place of all. So we both decided to go with the second entrance. A bathroom window.

The sound of glass shattering filled my ear and I looked next to me to see Daryl swatting away the leftover pieces of glass. He grabbed his cloth that he always had in his back pocket and laid it down in the window, preventing us from being grazed by glass.

Daryl put his hands together, forming a little place where I could put my foot in. I placed my foot in his hands, praying I wouldn't be too heavy, and Daryl gave me a little boost, making sure I'd be able to reach the window.

I wasn't that small to be honest. I was about as tall as Daryl was, maybe a bit shorter. But that didn't mean I didn't appreciate some help when it came to things like this.

When I was about halfway inside, my stomach resting on the window, I swiftly scanned the room for any signs of walkers. When there were none, I grabbed onto both sides of the window stall and pulled myself through the window. I placed my foot on the toilet and jumped of off it, giving Daryl a chance to come through.

I opened the stall door and inspected the room, but to be honest, there wasn't a lot to inspect. The bathroom was dirty, but it wasn't worse than before the apocalypse. A few toilet paper pieces were scattered on the ground, but that was it.

I walked over to the sink, ignoring Daryl's grunts as he pushed himself through the door. I turned on the knob from the sink and sighed in disappointment. Not that I expected there'd be running water here, but I could still hope.

When I heard Daryl land on the toilet I turned to the stall. Daryl hopped off of the toilet and walked out of the stall.

I gave him a slight smile.

''Let's go.''


	53. Chapter 53

**This isn't edited, like always**

* * *

The sounds of our footsteps were the only audible thing in the building, alongside with a dripping noise, like something was leaking. This time Daryl was strolling behind me, making sure to watch my back. My machete was clenched in my hand and the bow and arrow were strapped around my chest.

Walmart was quite dark, even though the sun was still up. The store was lit closer to the entrance, the opposite direction of where we were.

We were in the clothes section and Daryl signaled me to start packing up, while he watched out for any movement. I nodded in confirmation and turned over to the aisles. I grabbed the nearest pants and stuffed them in my bags. I didn't bother to look at the sizes, it would fit someone anyhow.

Even though summer was nearing, I couldn't help but grab some sweaters. You'd never know what would happen. I looked at the shirt I was holding. It was black with The Rolling Stones print on it. I grinned to myself as I thought of Olivia. The Rolling Stones used to be her favourite band and I could already imagine her face when she'd see the sweater.

When I saw my bag was already half-full, I gave Daryl a thumbs up, telling him I was done and we could move onto another aisle. The next aisles had nothing really interesting, just more clothes and some bags.

Daryl was already moving onto the next aisle when I put my hand on his chest, stopping him. He gave me a confused look, but when I pointed towards the objects that were placed on the racks, his eyes twinkled in amusement. It wasn't really what I had expected him to do. I thought he'd roll his eyes at me, but I gave him a genuine smile and walked over to the baby clothes.

My hands caressed a little dress that'd be the perfect fit for Judith and I didn't hesitate to pull it off the rack. But because of the lack of light at this part of the store, I failed to see it had been accidentally attached to the rack. As I pulled the dress away from the rack, the shelve came with it, crashing down just before me.

I flinched and gave Daryl a terrified look.

We both froze in place, waiting for any sound or movement that suggested there were walkers nearby. After a few second of hearing nothing, I sighed, letting my body relax.

Then, a small groan made my spine shiver and I turned towards the sound.

Half a body was dragging itself towards us and I cursed at myself. I planted my machete in the walkers head within second and backed away, towards Daryl.

Daryl had his back turned to me, killing off a walker on the other side of the path. It didn't take long for two other walkers to follow the first one and Daryl was busy trying not to get killed. My back pressed against his when I saw that three other walkers came shuffling from my end of the aisle. One tripped over the first walker that I'd already killed and was quick to get up on his feet again.

I grunted as I swung my machete at a walker. It glided itself in the side of the walkers face, almost cutting it in half. I pulled it back and it came out with a sickening crunch, but I didn't have time to think about it as I lunged for the second one.

Daryl and I didn't even have time to communicate and come up with a plan. It seemed like with every walker I killed, three more would take its place. And from Daryl's grunting it sounded like he wasn't doing so good either. At least we knew where all the bloody hand prints by the entrance came from.

We needed to come up with a plan, and fast, cause this plan was going to get us killed. With every opening I got my brain was yelling at me to make a run for it, but I knew I couldn't do that. There was no way I'd leave Daryl alone, we both knew that'd be as good as killing him. We both couldn't go anywhere without killing each other.

We needed to go somewhere safe, my best bet was up. I racked my brain to come up with a plan. We could go back to the bathroom, but I wasn't sure if that would be the best idea, we were closest to the toilets, which meant that there also were the most walkers.

We needed to get out another way. The entrance would do it, but we'd probably have to break the glass, which wouldn't stop the walkers.

''You got any ideas?'' I yelled at him as I, accidentally, cut off a walkers head. How many of those brainless walkers were even in this store? They couldn't keep coming forever. But we also couldn't fight forever. My breathing was already becoming heavy and I was bathing in sweat.

At first I thought he didn't hear me, that he was too concentrated to focus on anything else right now. But then he spoke up.

''Make a run for it. In yer direction!'' He yelled at me and I knew what he meant. He also wanted to go to the entrance, escape through there. I let out a shaky sigh, not wanting to do it.

''I'll count to three!'' I answered back. He didn't object or say anything back so I just guessed he agreed with me.

''One.'' I said kicking a walker with my knee and stomping my boot on its head.

''Two.'' My eyes were frantically searching for any possible opening, or how I could create one.

''Three..'' I mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear. I gave out an enraged yell and started to run towards the walkers that were all too happy too see me. I started to chop and smash as many walkers as I could, trying to create an opening.

Daryl joined me within seconds. We both knew we had to be quick before the walkers behind us would catch up and tear us apart anyhow.

''Aubrey!'' Daryl yelled and I looked over at him, he pushed through the walkers, making an opening. I slowly sighed to myself, questioning my sanity before following after him.

Greedy fingers tried to pry my skin from my body, tried to pull me back and closer to their mouths. But I refused to die like this. To die because of walkers.

Even though it only lasted a few seconds, it felt like an eternity before I was out of the walker crowd and running next to Daryl. Heading for the entrance.

Daryl reached it first and kicked the glass, it didn't budge. While Daryl tried the glass again, I went for the door, even though I knew it would be of no use.

The door was locked. Obviously. I grabbed my gun out of my hand and hesitated. Either it would get us out alive, or it would only bring a new herd to us. My eyes met Daryl and his eyes glanced over to the gun in my hand and back to me. I practically saw the wheels turning in his head, trying to decide which decision would be the best, before he shortly nodded his head at me.

That was all I needed and I pointed my gun at the lock. Shooting once, shooting twice. I kicked the door and lucky for us it opened. We ran outside and swiftly closed to door behind us, knowing it wouldn't help us against the walkers, but it might just slow them down.

Daryl seemed to know where he was going, or maybe he just looked like that to me. And I didn't question his directions, all I wanted was to get as far away from that place as possible.

Which isn't what we did. He just turned around a corner, into another block and before the walkers even knew which direction we turned into he pushed me into a store and swiftly followed. We hid behind the counter, leaning against the cabinets.

We exchanged a look and after a few seconds a chuckle escaped my lips.

''What?'' He asked, raising his eyebrow at me. I chuckled again.

'''This,'' I gestured to our surroundings. ''somehow we always get here. Running away from walkers and hiding.'' I told him. ''Our life is crazy.'' I grinned up at him and I was sure he was questioning my sanity at that point but after a moment he let out a chuckle, which he quickly covered up by snorting.

''Yer outta yer mind girl.'' He joked and I cracked up. I softly laughed and without really noticing it I let my head rest on his shoulder. I only realised it when Daryl froze at my touch, but just when I thought about removing my head he relaxed a tiny bit.

In his turn, he leaned his head against the cabinet, letting out a sigh.

''I wish our lives were easier.'' I mumbled.

''Me too, girly.'' He answered. ''But life ain't like baking a cake.''

I snorted at his comment, ''I suck at baking.'' I retorted, which made him chuckle. I missed this, I missed the small talk we used to have. The nonsense we talked about.

''I wish there was some kind of refugee out there, a city that has been boarded up, where people actually live.'' I confessed, my throat tightening. ''I want to have a life.'' It wasn't fair. There probably was some kind of refugee, some kind of community. But we weren't in it, we deserved to be in it. I was jealous at the people that were, the people that didn't have to kill their own. Even if there was some kind of community in America, which I doubted, we would probably never find it. Or they wouldn't let us in. Life was too cruel for that.

''I guess we'll just have to keep lookin'.'' Daryl answered. I removed my head from his shoulder and looked up at him in curiosity.

''You actually think there's something like that out there?'' I questioned.

Daryl was silent for a few seconds, I think he was trying to figure it out himself.

''Yeah, I do. This ain't it. It can't be. I don't wanna believe that.'' He told me and I placed my hand over his. But then I remembered the conversation we head this morning and I started to pull my hand back.

Daryl's hand reached out to mine and grabbed it, pulling me back towards him. I froze in place, not knowing what to do. Daryl's hand felt so warm in mine. His hand was rough, but felt like satin when it was placed in mine. His thumb was slowly caressing the top of my hand.

''Look Aubrey, what I said this mornin'. I didn't mean it. I wasn't sure how ta act around ya. What to say ta ya.'' His voice was slightly shaking, not to much to be obvious, but I noticed it. His eyes never seemed to linger somewhere too long, but his thumb kept caressing my hand as if it was the only thing he knew how to do.

''I-I care about ya, more then anyone. And I know I ain't the best of man but-'' My heart ached when he said that. He thought he wasn't a good man. So my left hand, that wasn't holding his hand, reached over to his face and cupped his cheek.

I didn't know where all this confidence suddenly came from, but my head came closer to his until our lips touched. It was a short kiss, but it was everything to me. I tried to tell him everything through that kiss. I tried to tell him that I cared about him too, that he was the best man I'd ever met, that I'd do anything for him.

When I pulled back his eyes finally met mine and the intensity behind them made my breath get caught in my throat. Daryl's hand left mine and instead they wrapped around my waist. He buried his head in the crook of my neck and I did the same.

At that moment, everything was perfect. Words didn't need to be said. We both didn't even want to talk. I just wanted to be as close to Daryl as possible, right now.

Million different thoughts raced through my mind. This was one of the first times he actually opened up to me. He just confessed he actually cared for me, more then usual. The only thing that saddened me was that he thought he wasn't good. I never met someone who cared more about people then him. He would never let anyone get hurt if he could help it. I know he always felt guilty whenever something happened, even if it was out of his control.

I slowly pulled back and cupped his head in my hand. His hands rested on my waist and I wanted them to stay there forever.

''Daryl, you are the most amazing person I have every met. I hope you realise that.''

Daryl opened his mouth to speak when we heard the click of the gun and a gun was pressed against Daryl's head. I detached myself from Daryl, feeling cold when I did so and looked up.

A boy stood there, no older than 19 years old. He was dark-skinned and dark-haired. The look in his eyes told me enough. He wasn't a killer.

''Give me your weapons.'' He demanded, pressing against Daryl's temple, who was looking more furious then ever.

''Kid, just think this through.'' I tried to reason with him, ''We're surrounded by walkers, we're gonna die if you do this.'' I tried to get up but he changed the direction of his gun towards me when I did so, making me crouch down again.

''I just need some weapons, that's it.'' He told me, the arm he was holding the gun with was moving as he did so, making me nervous.

''We can help you. We can get out together.''

''Ya better listen to her, she got a point.'' Daryl added, although he looked like he didn't really agree with me.

''Just give me the guns.'' He said through gritted teeth, ''There coming, they must have heard your shots.''

''Who you talking about?" Daryl asked. I thought it could be the walkers at first, but they were already here. When I gave the boy a thoughtful look, it didn't seem like he had been travelling for a while. He seemed to be pretty clean, so did his clothes. He didn't have a bag, or anything for that matter.

The kid ignored Daryl's question as I handed him my machete, not wanting him to shoot Daryl.

''Where did you come from?'' I asked him, but it sounded more like a demand than a question. I decided to give it another try and slowly stood up, just like before the gun was pointed towards me again. But this time Daryl saw an opportunity and grabbed the boy's arm, raising it so that I wasn't a target anymore.

We all flinched when we heard the sound of the gun firing. The kid was actually gonna shoot me. I stared up at him on shock, just for one second. Then I reached for the gun he was still holding while Daryl delivered him a punch to the face.

The punch made the kid stagger backwards, making him lower his gun. I saw my chance and quickly swiped the gun from him. Daryl pulled out his pistol and pointed it at him.

I placed my hand on Daryl's arm, making sure he wouldn't shoot the kid. The boy was holding up his hands, so I quickly grabbed my machete back.

''What's your name?'' I asked him. His nose was bleeding slightly and I saw it already starting to bruise, but we'd do that later.

''Noah..'' He said, trailing off, refusing to look at us.

''I'm Aubrey, this is Daryl.'' I said pointing at the archer next to me. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak again.

''How many walkers have you killed?''

''Seriously?'' Daryl interrupted me. ''He just tried ta kill us, ta kill you!''

''I'm sure he had his reasons.'' I commented, looking over at Daryl. He didn't seem to pleased with the idea of bringing him with us. ''He obviously just escaped from some kind of place. It's clear he's alone, he doesn't have any supplies-'' I trailed off. He didn't have any supplies. I'd be just another mouth to feed. I swiftly dismissed that thought. That didn't matter right now. If I was in Noah's place, I would want someone to take me in. Just like Rick and Daryl did with me.

We all turned our heads at the sound of a car. Noah seemed to freak out at the sound and he started to anxiously tap his foot.

''I gotta go, I gotta go. They probably heard the shot.''

''Who?'' Daryl asked again.

''The people I was with.'' Noah answered.

We heard the car stop and the engine being turned off. I exchanged a look with Daryl, questioning what to do.

''Hide behind the counter again?'' I asked him and when we heard voices talking to each other, coming closer to us, he nodded and we pulled Noah with us behind the counter.

My breathing was quick and I tried to slow it down as I heard the voices right outside the store. There were only a few feet away, if they'd walk inside they'd see us and we would be dead.

''You think it was Noah?'' Someone asked.

''Could be. But why was he firing?'' Another one answered.

No one answered back. My throat tightened and my heart sped up as more seconds passed. We had no idea who these people were, but if Noah wanted to get away from them that meant enough for me. They obviously wanted Noah back, which meant that he wasn't allowed to leave.

To distract myself, I counted the little specks of blood on the wall.

1, 2, 3, 4.

Still no voices, which didn't comfort me as much as I expected.

5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

The cracking sound of the radio made my heart skip a beat.

''Send reinforcement, we found him. He has friends.''

My mind was racing, thinking about what we could do. I looked over at Noah and saw that he was almost shaking with fear. So either these people were bad news, and then I mean _really_ bad news, or he had never done this kind of thing before.

I shut my eyes tight for one second, trying to think clearly. We couldn't run and we didn't know who we were up against. The sound of footsteps nearing, brought me back and made me snap my eyes open.

With only a second of hesitation, I jumped up and aimed my gun at the person nearing us. The first shot that fired wasn't from me. I practically felt the bullet flying past my head, which made my heart pound even faster. I was going to develop a heart problem if this kept happening.

The man in front of me seemed to be a cop. He still wore his uniform and his stance looked very professional. The way his eyes kept glancing over to Noah confirmed that these were the people Noah was running from.

I didn't have time to check my magazine, so I had no idea how much bullets were left. I pulled the trigger and fortunately for me the bullet went straight through the cop's shoulder. But with the sounds of gunfire, the rest of the group came running towards us. Shooting at us.

''Noah, what do we do?'' I asked him, but he seemed far to anxious to think about any solutions, right now.

''Noah!'' Daryl yelled at him and smacked him on the head. For some reason, it seemed to help and he gave us a confused look.

''We fight. Or we surrender.'' He said, thanks captain obvious. ''And I don't want to go back.'' He added which made me fight a smile.

''That's how I like to hear it.'' I mumbled, more to myself than to him as I handed him a gun.

When the first cops came through the door we all cocked our guns, trying to intimidate them by the sound.

''We don't want to shoot you.'' A man said, ''We just want Noah.'' He looked to be African-American, his hair was short and dark, just like his eyes. Even though he had a gun pointed at us, he didn't seem like a bad guy, he didn't look like he _wanted_ to kill us.

''The kid don't want to.'' Daryl told them, his crossbow raised.

I was getting ready to shoot them, I readjusted the gun in my hand. When I looked over at Daryl and Noah I saw that they were doing the same thing.

'' _Franco_ ,'' Someone said through the radio, '' _There are infected heading towards you, hurry_.''

''I'm on it.'' He answered back.

Then the shooting started. Daryl, Noah and me both ducked behind the counter, trying to avoid the rain of bullets. This didn't go as easy as I wanted it to. If one of us even looked over the cabinets our brains would be blown off.

The gunfire stopped and I took my chance and raised my gun, leaning it on the counter and just randomly shooting everywhere, since I couldn't see who I was aiming at. Daryl swiftly followed me and did the same. After a few second Noah joined us, too.

Taking 5 cops out didn't seem as hard as I thought. They couldn't hit us from this angle and we could shoot them, even if we couldn't see them. It only took a few minutes before everything went quiet. The shooting had stopped and we didn't hear anything.

Noah was the first one to look over the edge, and he gave us a small smile. They were down. When I stood up I saw all the cops lying on the ground. Their eyes were closed but I think most of them were still breathing.

They were wearing bulletproof vests after all.

I felt a surge if pride wash through me. We just won from cops. People that trained for this for years, we defeated them in a few minutes. If the world ever got back to normal they should change their training.

We walked away from the counter, careful not to wake any of them.

''Let's go.'' Daryl mumbled, grabbing me by the arm and softly pulling me with him.

''Wait.'' I said, grabbing his hand on my arm. ''They have guns, we need those.'' I gave my arm a pull and Daryl reluctantly let go of it. I crouched down and grabbed the gun in his hand, placing it between my my back and my pants.

Then I went to the next one, while Daryl and Noah were watching the bodies for movement, and grabbed that one too. When I went to the third one, I saw that he had fallen onto his hand while holding the gun. I sighed and placed my hands under the limp figure, lifting it up with all the strength I had.

Suddenly the man's eyes snapped open and the cocking of a gun was heard.

Before I could fully respond a shot rang out, and my eyes widened as I gasped for air.

* * *

 **missy7293:** Thanks for the review! They finally did it! They opened up to each other. I hope you liked the chapter and be sure to review your thoughts again. I really appreciate it.

 **Another chapter! I hope it wasn't too cheesy. Let me know what you think. We're getting closer to the end of this book and I can't wait to edit all of this and post the second book (which I have already written)**

 **Have a nice day!**


	54. Chapter 54

I never understood why people were so scared of dying. Dying was easy. It was just a few second of pain, minutes if you were unlucky, and then nothing. My mom used to tell me that when a person is dying, the body shuts the pain down, so you feel nothing anymore. You're already so close to death that your brain just doesn't care anymore. It gives up. So you don't feel the need to fight, you don't feel pain, everything just happens.

Dying is easy. Living is the hard part. When you live, you want to fight. You feel pain, guilt, insecurity, shame, jealousy. When you're alive, you don't want to die. When you're dying you don't want to live. It seems kind of balanced when you think about it like that.

Even though dying is easy. But I don't want things to be easy. If they are, what's the point of living?

The world was a blur around me. I heard Noah talk to me, holding my hand, while another hand kept pressure on the wound. I heard the sound of gunshots outside the store. It felt like my hearing got better while my sight just decreased. Maybe I was crying, I don't remember.

I do remember the taste of blood in my mouth, my hands trying to grasp onto anything around me. Trying to figure out what was real and what was not.

I remember a car. I remember Noah, but I don't remember Daryl. Where was Daryl? Was he behind me? Was he dead? Every thought I had didn't seem to stay for a very long time.

Everything just slowly.. turned to black.

''Where am I?'' Were the first words I said when I opened my eyes. Only no one was here. I forced myself to sit up straight and grunted when I felt a throbbing pain in my side. I softly placed my hand on the spot and brushed the soft material of a bandage.

Where's Daryl? and Noah? What happened?

The room I was in was painted white and light blue, the typical hospital colours. There was a window to my right and when I looked outside the only thing I saw was a destructed city. Burned buildings or buildings that had fallen over. I let out a shaky sigh at the sight of it.

I swung my legs over the bed and stood up. My legs buckled underneath me and I almost collapsed, but I placed my hand against the wall, steadying myself. I forced my eyes shut, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down and to keep myself from fainting.

I reached over for my gun, but to my surprise it wasn't there. My clothes were gone too, replaced by a hospital uniform.

''No, no, no, no.'' I whispered to myself. I took another step forward but was pulled back by an IV in my arm. Not knowing what was in it I ripped it out, pressing my finger on the little wound to stop it from bleeding.

The door opened and a girl walked in, blond hair pulled into a ponytail. She looked to be around her was carrying a tray of food and when she saw me her eyes widened slightly in a form of panic. She quickly placed the tray onto a cabinet and rushed over to me.

''You can't walk around yet. Please, just sit still.'' She said while pushing me back on the bed.

''What am I doing here, who are you?'' I asked her confused. ''Where are my friends?''

''Noah? He's here. But I haven't heard anything about another one, sorry.'' She apologized and turned away from me to grab the tray of food again.

''I'm Beth, nice to meet you.'' She gave me a small smile as she placed the tray on the bedside table.

''Aubrey,'' I introduced myself, ''Why am I here?''

''You got shot in your abdomen. The bullet just grazed your intestines, you were lucky.'' I scoffed at her words, it's what you call lucky. ''So they brought you here so they could fix you up. In exchange, you have to work for them. But everything will be explained later by Dawn.''

''Dawn?''

''That's me.'' A voice replied out of the doorway. My eyes snapped over to the woman. Her dark hair was pulled back into a small bun, making the hard features in her face stand out.

''Where are my people?'' I asked her with a low voice, sounding more demanding.

''Noah has never been one of yours, he belongs here.'' I wanted to object, but she kept talking. ''The other guy you were with-''

''Daryl.'' I told her.

''He ran, didn't even turn around.'' I let out a shaky breath, glad he was still alive. Dawn didn't seem to notice the relief on my face, or else she didn't care.

''You have the day off today, tomorrow you start working.'' She spoke, her arms were folded over each other. Her face looked stern while mine looked full of confusion.

''Wait what?'' I stammered. Instead of answering, Dawn turned around and left the room. Beth gave me a sympathetic look and followed her.

I grabbed the tray next to me and with an enraged scream I threw it across the room. The food flew against the walls and the floors, ruining the paint. Not like I cared.

I let my body fall on the bed, ignoring the sharp sting in my stomach. Fuck this, Fuck my wound, fuck Dawn, fuck Noah for getting us involved into his shit, fuck walkers, fuck this world.

''Aubrey,''

''Aubrey, wake up.''

My eyes snapped open and reached for the person beside my bed. The only thing that was going through my mind was pure panic. The feeling of being attacked. Which is why I felt the urge to defend myself. My hands grabbed the person's throat in an instant, not thinking about who it was.

''Aubrey,'' The person choked out and I blinked, finally looking at who it was. Noah was standing in front of me, trying to gasp for air. I realised what I was doing and my panic to defend myself was replaced by a new kind of panic. Shock. My hands loosened around its neck and I slowly let go.

''I-I'm sorry.'' I said confused, not knowing how to act.

''I-It's okay.'' He said shakingly whispered to me. I just nodded and unconsciously rubbed my arm. ''I'm here to bring you to Dawn.'' I nodded at him, feeling a nervous ache in my stomach. I didn't want to meet Dawn again, I hated the woman already.

Together we walked out of my room and into the hallway. I gave Noah a once-over, noticing the bruises on his face. His lip was split and he had a black eye.

''Must suck to be back.'' I mumbled to him. His eyes quickly glanced over to me and then returned to stare at the hall in front of us.

''Yeah, sorry to bring you into this.'' He apologized, but I shook my head.

''It wasn't your fault.'' Was all I said. Even though I was angry at him last night, I knew that he never meant for anything to happen. Hell, he probably hated this place more then I did.

When we arrived at Dawn's office, Noah knocked two times and then opened the door. The girl from yesterday, Beth, was cleaning up her desk. They greeted each other with a smile.

''This is Beth, she tried to escape with me. But- that didn't go so well for her.'' He whispered, only loud enough for me and Beth to hear. There were two visible cuts on her face, both stitched up pretty rough, and a few bruises. Anyhow, she smiled at me, as if she didn't care, but I saw the fierceness behind her smile. She wanted to get out as badly as we did.

''Yeah. we met yesterday.'' I told him, returning Beth's smile.

''Where's Dawn?'' He asked the girl, while leaning on his right leg.

''She's just getting ready for the day. It's early.'' She said and pointed at the clock on the wall, which said that it was half past 6.

My mouth opened in surprise. They had working clocks? The soft ticking of it, made me anxious now. It reminded me of my previous life, and it was too nostalgic to think about it.

''Well, I'll see you later then.'' Noah said and left, leaving me with Beth.

I walked over and stood next to her. Her right hand was wrapped in gypsum and I wondered how that happened. She was quite small, her whole body seemed small. But I noticed the way her eyebrows would furrow in frustration sometimes, making me believe that she was much stronger than she appeared to be.

''How did you get here?'' I asked her, taking the cleaning tissue from her hand and wiping the desk with it.

''I was stupid,'' She said without looking at me, ''I was with my family, they didn't think I could make a run into town. So I snuck out, planning to make a quick supply sweep and come back before they even realised I was gone.'' She picked up a small notebook and threw it in the drawer violently, ''I guess you could say that didn't go as planned.''

''What about you?'' She asked me, but before I could answer the door opened and Dawn came in. She was wearing the same uniform as the last time I saw her. Her hair was pulled into the same small bun and she stood tall, ready to take me on if I didn't cooperate. I narrowed my eyes at her, even though she couldn't even see it.

''Ah, Aubrey, you're already here.'' She took a few steps closer to me, I could see her better now. She seemed older then me. Not so much by her looks, but by the way she presented herself. She stood for discipline and order, towering over me with intimidation. But while she was strict and rational, I was full of survival. I would do what needed to be done to make this out alive. And she realised that.

''Beth, you can go and help Dr. Edwards.'' Beth nodded with her head down and left without saying a word.

''So,'' She started and sat down on her chair, ''As you probably already realised, we saved your life.'' She said, pointing at my abdomen, where my bandage was. ''Because of that, you owe us.''

''I didn't _ask_ for you to help me.'' I retorted while softly placing my hand on my stomach, where the wound was placed. I didn't really feel any pain, it was just slightly throbbing the whole time, you just knew it was there. It annoyed me, it was like a constant reminder of why I was here.

''No that's right, you were too busy with choking on your own blood.'' She said, standing up and leaning on her desk with her hands. ''You owe us.'' She repeated, ''and as long as your debt isn't paid, you can't leave.''

I pressed my lips together in a thin line, almost believing her.

''And how long will that be?'' I crossed my arms over my chest, pinching my flesh in order not to launch at her.

''Until I think your debt has been repaid.'' I was gritting my teeth together at this point, wanting nothing more than to slap that woman. Her want for control was obsessive, and incredibly annoying. I didn't say anything back, which probably felt to her like she'd won.

''You can start by cleaning my office, I want every item to be cleaned. The cleaning products can be found down the hall to the right.'' With those words she walked out, leaving me alone in her office.

As she was gone, I took the opportunity to go and look around. Only for a minute, trying to see if I could find anything useful. So I walked over to the door and locked it, making sure I had some time.

Behind her desk was a whiteboard with the map of the hospital on it. I swiftly studied it, sad that I didn't have a pen and paper to quickly re-draw it. The stairways were on the other end off the hallway. Which meant that it would be a lot of guards to pass, also I couldn't just go and run out on the streets.I didn't even have a weapon.

A weapon. I turned back to Dawn's desk and pulled on one of the drawers. Locked, of course. I resisted the urge to groan. Why does she have to be so controllable, couldn't she just be nice for once? I let go of the drawers and took a look at her desk. There wasn't a lot on it, since Beth had just cleaned everything up.

Next to the desk there was another cabinet, a taller one. A photo was placed on it, and under it were some badges. I didn't really care enough to check them out. They were just memories, memories that didn't really get me anywhere.

''Fuck.'' I cursed when I realised there was nothing here. The only thing that was left was some stupid cycling machine. I quickly unlocked the door, before anyone would realise me snooping around.

I walked out of the office, and down the hall. When I neared the end of the hall I saw Beth hiding behind its corner.

''What is it?'' I asked her curiously as I peeked around the corner.

''I'm sorry I forgot.'' I saw a man say. He was obviously starting to turn a bit older. There wasn't a lot left from his white hair and he looked very insecure as he was standing in front of an officer. I remembered him from Richmond, at the store. That was the dick that actually shot me.

''Well here's an idea.'' The guy said, ''Don't forget.'' He yelled at the older man and pushed him on the ground.

I balled my hands into fists and stormed over to the couple.

''How dare you!'' I said to the police officer, completely surprised. What kind of hospital was this. I raised my hand and smacked him right across the face. Beth saw what was happening and quickly rushed over to me, but it was already too late.

The man's eyes burned with rage as he lifted his fist and punched my in the jaw. I stumbled backwards a couple of steps and was ready to lunge at him again, but a hand on my arm stopped me.

 _''Let's go.'' Daryl mumbled, grabbing me by the arm and softly pulling me with him._

 _''Wait.'' I said, grabbing his hand on my arm. ''They have guns, we need those.'' I gave my arm a pull and Daryl reluctantly let go of it._

I shook my head and instead of looking at Daryl, I was looking at Beth.

''Don't Aubrey, please.'' She whispered, ''Not now. He's not worth it.'' After a few seconds of hesitation I nodded and she slowly let go of my arm. I glared at the officer who's name was apparently O'Donnell.

''You're gonna regret that,'' He threatened, but before he could take another step forward, Dawn walked in. She barely spared a glance at the man on the ground but when she saw O'Donnell and me, she stepped in.

''O'Donnell, get back to your office. Let me handle her.'' She glared at me and with a grunt he left me alone, but not after receiving a death stare.

''Beth come with me, Aubrey I expect to see you in five minutes at my office.'' I just nodded at her words. I wasn't going to admit it to her, but I was actually glad she stopped O'Donnell. That guy scared me.

When everyone left I crouched down next to the fallen man and grabbed his arm.

''Are you okay, sir?'' I asked him. I felt bad for the guy, he looked so sad. Who would push an elder? It made me scared to think about what they were capable off.

''Eh, yes thank you.'' He stumbled, obviously still a bit shocked by the whole thing.

''What's your name?'' I asked him, trying to distract him from the whole situation and to see if he didn't have any damage. He hit the floor pretty hard.

''Percy.'' he answered and I smiled up at him

''Nice to meet you Percy, I'm Aubrey.'' I guided Percy over to the wall, so he could sit against it without being in the way. ''Does this happen often?'' I asked worried.

Percy pushed his glasses a bit higher up on his nose and coughed before answering. ''O-Only when I've done something wrong.'' I nodded at him, not really knowing how to respond.

''Let me help you to your room.'' I said instead. Grabbing him by his elbow and supporting him as he stood up.

As I helped him to his room I couldn't help but wonder, how long will I be here?

* * *

 **Guys there's alone 2 chapters left! I can't wait to start publishing the new book!**

 **Also do you want Beth to live in the series? What do you think is going to happen? Let me know what you thought of this chapter.**


	55. Chapter 55

''Noah,'' I said as I opened the door to the laundry room. He looked up from the shirt he was just folding.

''Officer O'Donnell wants you to clean this.'' I said, handing him a once white shirt. I guess he spilled some food on it.

I had been here three days. That's three days too long for me. I had met up with Dr. Stevens and when I told him I used to be an assistant doctor at the prison he asked me all kinds of questions. He gave me tips and tricks, asked me how I learned everything under the circumstances.

The rest of the officers I had met were all assholes, so far. They all thought that they were better than us, just because they had guns. Just because they had authority. O'Donnell was the worst of them. He was disrespectful towards the patients, towards Dawn and would always look at every woman as if she was a piece of meat. Walkers already did that, we didn't need more of that.

He'd constantly glare at me and whenever I grabbed a little bit of food, since I didn't want to owe them more, he gave me a look and wrote it down. I bet he wrote more down then I actually took. He was freaking me out, so I actually started to hang around Dawn more, feeling safer around her than when I was wandering the halls on my own.

I still hated Dawn, but sometimes, just sometimes, she wasn't as bad as she pretended to be. She was a control-freak, a paranoid, a hot-head and she felt incredibly sorry for herself, but she also cared more then she let on. Don't get me wrong, I still hated her. She was a horrible human being, she couldn't lead for shit and wanted everything clean. I couldn't wait until I was away from this place.

I had been checking the guards patrols at night. Trying to find a blind spot, or a time where no one was patrolling the hallways so I could sneak off the the stairs and get out. So far I had found a one minute spot, but I would need more time than that. What if something went wrong? What if I couldn't get Noah and Beth on time? Then I'd be dead, and they'd be dead too. And I didn't want to make noise for the walkers downstairs. I needed to be invisible.

But sadly I couldn't walk around too much. With my shot wound, I was forced to lie down faster than I'd like. I just couldn't stay awake the whole day, I needed to rest too. It wasn't something I did very often, feeling weak if I did so. Which ended up in a stinging and throbbing feeling in my side.

''Oh Yeah, thanks.'' Noah said, although he didn't sound like he meant it.

''How you holding up?'' I asked him. I knew he hated this place. He told me about his father, what had happened and how he thinks they left him behind.

''Probably as well as you are.'' He answered. I sighed, feeling suffocated all of the sudden. I wanted to go outside. Everything was better than in here. I felt restricted by all those officers. We were trapped in this place with no way out. Yet.

''Well, awesome.'' I said sarcastically. ''Can't wait to get out of here.'' I told him as I grabbed a shirt and started to help him fold. I knew I probably wasn't supposed to help, but I tried to have a reason to stay. I didn't want to go back to Dawn and her annoying requests.

''Yeah, you and me both.'' He answered as I put the shirt on the stock and reached out for another.

''Where are you gonna do when we get out of here?'' I asked him. I liked Noah, he was a kind person. I didn't want him to leave when we got out of here. If Noah wanted to go somewhere without the group, I couldn't stop him, if he didn't really have a destination than I could ask him to join us.

''A town on the outskirts of Richmond, that's where my mom is. Where my brother's are.'' He told me as he stopped folding clothes and grabbed a pile of dirty clothes, throwing it in the washing machine.

''Really?'' I asked him surprised. ''Maybe we could come with you, if you want of course.'' I suggested and he gave me a big smile. A smile where his eyes joined in and it warmed my heart to know he was glad I asked.

''That'd be great, thanks.'' He placed a hand on my shoulder, softly squeezing it.

''No problem, we're friends right? That's what friends do.''

''That's it, time's up.'' Dr. Edwards told me as he unplugged the machine. I looked at the man lying down on the bed. It was weird seeing how his breathing slowed to a stop. Practically seeing a man die and doing nothing about it. Even if you were able to.

Edwards started to remove the oxygen mask that the unnamed man had placed on its face. I grabbed the knife from the counter and for a few second a thought crossed my mind.

I could just stab Edwards with it, leave the man to turn and walk back to my room. The commotion would give me enough time to actually escape.

But just as soon as the thought entered my mind, I let it go. I couldn't kill Edwards. He was almost the only one who was nice to me, while he didn't even know me. Plus, no one deserved to die at the hands of a walker, even if I would be the one to cause it. Killing someone like that was just weak.

I walked over to the other side of the bed and stabbed the knife through the head of the man.

''How do you do it?'' I asked him, he looked up at me, confused by my question.

''I mean, how do you just unplug that thing?'' I pointed at the machine, ''while knowing you could have done more?''

For a few moments the doctor was completely silent. He stared at the man, then back at the machine. He nervously pushed his glasses up a little bit and sighed.

''I don't know, I guess you just get used to it.'' He answered truthfully. To be honest, that answer didn't make anything better. It just send a shiver down my spine. How many people had this man _killed_? I knew it wasn't his intention, he didn't want to. But he was still the one who unplugged the machine. Who, most of the time, stabbed the person through the brains.

The awkward silence was broken by a woman running in. I hadn't seen her often, I just saw her walking down the hall sometimes.

''Patient 8 is awake.'' She informed Dr. Edwards. Edwards looked at the dead patient in this room and then back at the woman in the doorway, not knowing what to do.

''I'll handle it.'' I told him, he nodded his thanks and with those words he left the room and went after the woman.

I grabbed a blanket from one of the cabinets, threw it over the body and pushed the bed through the hallway.

I stayed at the foot-end of the stretcher as I pushed it, not really wanting to be close to the head. I knew I'd destroyed his brain already, but I still didn't feel comfortable being so close. I liked to just walk away from it, I wasn't overly excited to be jumped by an unexpected walker.

I greeted a few people here by nods, mostly patients. I had noticed that most of the patients here were elderly. I had asked Beth about the harassment Percy had to endure and she told me that it was mostly the men who got pushed and sometimes smacked on the back of their heads, but only by the officers. The doctors, nurses and patients were mostly nice.

I felt bad for Percy. He'd told me about his life before the apocalypse. His wife had died from cancer, after that he'd fallen into depression. He had no kids, no job, nothing to really life for anymore. When one day he came home from a grocery trip he collapsed onto the ground and woke up in the hospital.

He'd had a heart attack and was forced to stay. Now he feels like it's some kind of punishment, the bullying. I tried to reassure him that it wasn't. That it was just some stupid men, being bored and taking their frustration out on the weak.

He didn't seem very convinced.

But he did tell me he was glad to be alive. He could help other people now and he actually had a job to do, even if it didn't really pay him.

Some people stared at the bed as I moved it across the hallway and to the elevators, but most people just went on with their work. Nobody knew this person, so he wouldn't be missed. As far as they know, the doctors tried everything they could, but this person couldn't be helped.

Every time I would smile at an officer my head would scream at them. _'Liars, Liars, Liars._ ' How dare they stand here, claim that they will protect the hospital when there are people out there who are really trying to survive. Who have to live off of one can of food per day when they have a whole group to feed.

I opened the double doors to the elevator and swiftly pushed the body through before it could close. I threw the blanket of the person and stuffed it underneath the stretcher. Without thinking I lifted the stretcher up and listened as the body fell down the elevator shaft.

Beth had told me her story of how she and Noah escaped through it. I had to say, those kids had balls. Props for them for even coming up with the idea.

I grabbed the stretcher again, ready to turn it around and drive back, when I heard footsteps behind me.

I swiftly turned around only to be met with a hand around my neck. I gasped in surprise as the person pushed me against the wall, squeezing my throat closed. My hands went to my throat, trying to stop the choking.

''You bitch.'' O'Donnell muttered close to my face. ''Dawn wants me to take a step down with the patients.'' He growled. I was barely listening to his words, clawing at his hand on my throat. The other was grabbing my ribs, surely making them bruise. I tried to gasp, tried to get any air inside my lungs. I probably looked like a fish, desperately trying to get some oxygen.

''Because of YOU I'm not even allowed to go on runs.'' My eyes were wide as I tried to push his face away, but as a response O'Donnell lifted me up a little bit higher. Only making me panic more.

''S-Stop,'' I choked, I wasn't even sure if he could hear me, I could barely hear myself.

His eyes were spitting fire, his face was red and he looked me directly in the eyes as he pushed every bit of air out of my lungs. The realisation dawned on me. This man was going to kill me. I was never going to get out, I was going to die right here, right now.

''O'Donnell.'' I heard a steady voice behind him. His grip softened on my throat and eventually he completely let go, turning around to see Dawn.

I immediately crumbled to the ground, softly holding my throat as I tried to control my raspy breathing. Dawn was standing in front of O'Donnell, her gun was raised and there was a very thin layer of sweat on her forehead, suggesting she was indeed nervous about this whole ordeal.

''What are you gonna do, Dawn?'' He told her, taking a step forward. ''Kill me?'' He laughed sarcastically, underestimating her.

''I only have to tell them you came at me.'' She snapped. Her hands were clenching the gun so tight that I actually feared she was going to pull the trigger by accident.

His face hardened and his eyes seemed to turn darker.

''Is that what you're gonna do? We used to be friends, you were there for the birth of my kid-''

''You've changed. We both have.'' She hissed at him, her voice shaking. ''We're supposed to protect people. To help them. But look at you, you're beating the old man. You're laughing with your buddies about that poor girl getting raped.''

I didn't dare to react in any possible way, they were fighting it out and I didn't want their attention to turn to me. So instead, I focused on my breathing. It felt rough against my airways, but I ignored the feeling.

''You know what Dawn? After Hanson, you've changed.'' With those words he suddenly lunged at her. He took her by surprise and she grunted at the impact. Her gun fell out of her hands, towards me. While they started to hit each other, I crawled towards the gun and picked it up.

I checked the safety and saw that it was locked and loaded, a pull at the trigger would do. A little voice inside my head told me I could just kill both of them and escape. The blanket was still there, I could go through the elevator shaft. No one would ever know.

But I wasn't gonna do that, not if I didn't have to. Dawn didn't have to help me, she could have just let me get strangled by that asshole. I hated to admit it, but she kind of saved me. So when O'Donnell was throwing Dawn against the wall I raised the gun.

He picked her up by her throat and started to strangle her. Again, there was a little hesitation. Wondering if maybe her death would be better.

But then her eyes locked onto mine and the despair and fear in it made me pull the trigger. The shot bounced off the walls as O'Donnell collapsed onto the floor. There was a hole through his back. I had hit him in the lungs. The gurgling sound that came from O'Donnell's mouth confirmed it. I stood up and shot the bastard again, only this time through his head.

Dawn seemed to be scared for a second, scared I'd take her life as well. But when I handed her the gun she slowly took it, as if she wasn't sure how she should react, then I extended my hand towards her and pulled her up.

''Thanks.'' She mumbled, looking down at the body that was once her friend.

Not long after that, Dawn and I were sitting in her office. Dawn was slumped in her chair, looking dazed. I guess she hadn't had a lot of near-death experience. I mean, she obviously knew a lot of people wanted to kill her, me included, but I guess no one had really attacked her before.

''How are you doing?'' I asked her, leaning on her desk.

''I'm fine.'' She answered, ''Just-'' A sigh, ''freaked out.'' I nodded in understanding.

''You need to know something.'' I said after a pause. ''You need to stop doubting yourself.'' I pushed myself away from the desk and walked in front of her. ''I'm not telling this for you. But if you keep doing things like this, you're gonna get people killed. People you may not care about, or people you do care about.'' Dawn stood up from her chair, clearly offended.

''So stop whining, and do what's right!'' I yelled at her. There were a few second of silence. In those seconds I stood there, breathing heavily and raspy. While Dawn was giving me a surprised and irritated look.

And when those seconds were over, she raised her hand and it connected with my cheek. The impact snapped my head to the right and before I could recover she punched me again. This time I stumbled backwards, surprised at the fact my nose was bleeding. Fortunate for me, she stopped after those two punches because of her radio.

' _'Dawn_ ,'' Could be heard from over the walkie-talkie, '' _There are some people here who have a proposal_.''

* * *

 **After this there's only one chapter left guys! I never actually thought I could finish a book. Even though Aubrey's story is far from finished. This part is almost done. I hope you guys liked it and let me know what you think of it :D**


	56. Chapter 56

Dawn had sent me out of her office after receiving the message. Her voice nervous and triggered. I wasn't planning on taking another hit, so I thought it might be a good idea to go and pay Dr. Edwards a visit.

When I arrived at his office, Beth was already sitting there, chatting with him. I knocked on the open door, to announce my presence. Their conversation ceased and the two heads turned towards the sound. When they saw who it was their shoulders relaxed and it made me wonder what they were talking about.

''Hey doc. I thought that- you know- maybe you could-'' I pointed at my face, ''help me?'' I asked awkwardly. I hoped they wouldn't ask questions about my raspy voice, or the red marks on my neck that looked suspiciously similar to fingerprints.

He swiftly nodded and gestured towards the chair next to Beth. I sat down on the blue chair and ignored the look the girl on my left gave me.

Dr. Edwards pushed his glasses up and walked over to me, tilting my head from side to side to check the damage.

''What happened?'' He asked me. It was an easy question, an innocent one. But I still tensed up slightly. Dr. Edwards and Beth could have thought it was because of Dawn, but O'Donnells body flashed before my mind. I gritted my teeth together to get rid of the image, refusing to think about that man anymore.

''Dawn.'' I simply answered, Dr. Edwards nodded his head. Making me think I wasn't the first one to be Dawn's personal punchbag.

"She's done this before?" I questioned, my brows furrowed and my gaze dropped to the ground in thought. I wondered how many people she had mistreated, what number I was.

''Yeah.'' Beth answered a bit ashamed, while she pointed at her face. There was quite a large bruise on her right eye and still the two stitches from the first time I met her. I never realises it was Dawn's fault. Although the stitches reminded me of something.

''Oh Doc, can you also change my stitches, or bandages?'' I suggested and he nodded while he poked a few of my fresh bruises. I tried not to wince at his cold fingers on my aching face, but I didn't believe I was really succeeding.

''Yeah sure. Well your face seems to be fine, just two or three fresh bruises, nothing serious.'' He said, oblivious to my uncomfortableness. He washed his hands and wiped them off on a dishcloth.

''She stopped halfway.'' I told them, both of their heads looked up from whatever they were doing, clearly surprised. ''An officer called in, about some people having a proposal.''

''Hmm,'' Edwards mumbled, trying to dismiss the thought with a shrug. But I wasn't going to let it go so quickly.

''Are you having some problems with another group?'' I questioned, hoping the answer would be to my satisfaction.

''We used to have, but most of them are either dead or have left the town.'' When he said that I turned to Beth.

''You have some folks out there?'' I asked her instead.

''May be.'' She answered, but I didn't think she really believed it herself.

I knew that there always was a chance it was my group. But I refused to think about the idea too much, I'd only be disappointed if it wasn't my heart jumped at the thought of it being them and my stomach fluttered at the idea of getting out of here.

I suddenly realised that my side was slightly throbbing and I told them that I'd go back to my room and get some rest. Edwards told me he still needed to change my bandage and I told him I'd remind him. Not really feeling up for it right now.

Beth also stood up, saying she'll walk with me for a second. We both said our goodbye's to the doctor and went on to my room.

My one hand was softly clutching the spot below my wound and the other was just by my side. Beth was watching her shoes as she walked.

''If its my group-'' I started, stopping to carefully choose my words, ''Are you gonna come with us?''

There was a silence. A long dreaded silence. I was waiting for her to speak. Whatever she was going to say, I told myself I'd accept her answer. Since  
it was her choice to make. Het eyes flickered up from the ground into my eyes.

''Ehm, yeah-I think I am.'' She mumbled, ''I mean, if that's alright with your group.'' I grinned up at her answer and engulfed her in a hug.

''I'm super glad to hear that!'' I told her. ''We'll stay together at least.''

''Whatever happens.'' She said, softly smiling up at me.

''I guess that should do it.'' Dr. Edwards said as he taped the bandage together.

''Thanks Steven.'' I told him, swinging my legs over the bed.

I'd already slept a couple of hours and after Steven injected some painkillers, I felt a lot better. Even though it probably wasn't the smartest thing to go parading around with a wound all day, it wasn't like I had anything else to do. Which is what I hated about this place.

We had food, walls, medicine, safety, people. Still, I felt bored. Then I'd just feel guilty. I wasn't supposed to feel bored, I was supposed to fight for my life out there, just like the rest of my group. It made me anxious, to do nothing. It was like I wasn't even valuable.

I thought of how Eugene would have fit in this hospital perfectly. Getting to be smart all day long, not having to go outside. I shook my head at the thought. Just focus on right now.

When I walked by Dawn's office I saw her pacing around, clearly frustrated. She was rubbing the sides of her skull, sweating. Then she looked up right into my eyes. For a second she seemed surprised to see me here, but then she grabbed a lamp from her desk and threw it at the window, which was right behind me.

''Go away!'' She yelled and I flinched as the lamp hit the window with a thud. Not questioning her crazy behaviour I quickly moved along.

That was... strange.

I was actually planning on seeing if Dawn could need some help, but I guess that wasn't really an option anymore.

So instead I decided to go to Percy.

When I found him he was playing poker with some other elderly.

''Good afternoon.'' I greeted them all as I sat besides Percy at the table. Trying to understand the game poker. It was just nice to sit down and watch someone else have fun.

Percy didn't look like he was very good at the game, but he was having fun. The elder ladies at the table laughed every time he showed them his cards. I guess he was a lady's man after all.

''I wish I had more books,'' A woman spoke up, ''The only books that are here are medical. So boring.'' She whined and I bit my lip. I didn't want to burst her little bubble, but there were more important things out there.

''I know right. But, I think I have a Twilight book hanging around somewhere.'' As the time grew on I started to grow more and more uncomfortable. They were just talking about books and things to do, because they were so bored. I envied them, at least they didn't have anything else to worry about.

Percy seemed to notice my discomfort, because he changed the subject.

''So, Aubrey.'' He started, ''What did you do before you came to the hospital.'' The way he asked it, seemed like I chose to be here. But I guess that nobody knew any better.

''I- eh- was with another group. We were just going to get some supplies-''

''How's that like?'' A woman interrupted me.

''What?'' I asked her confused.

''What's it like, going on supply runs?'' Her question made me think. What was it like? Whenever I went it was scary as hell, but I never wanted to miss out on one. Even now, when I was safe, I wish I could go outside, explore a little bit.

''It's, dangerous.'' I said slowly. ''You never know what, or who, you might find. But it also gives me a rush.'' I admitted, a bit ashamed. ''But I would never wish it upon anyone to go through stuff like that. You meet the worst people, and find yourself in the worst situations.''

They were all quiet for a moment. At first I thought it was because of my speech, but I noticed that they were all looking behind me. So I turned around and saw Dawn standing there in the door frame.

''We need to talk.''

Once I was outside on the hallway she started to talk to me.

''There has been a message sent over the radio. You remember it?'' She asked me, but without waiting for a response, she continued. ''Those people are yours. They want to make trade.''

At this point I was speechless. I was just silently listening to her, but inside my heart was pounding like crazy and I swear the god she could hear it,

''And-'' She sighed once, ''I accepted, two of mine for two of theirs.''

''Uh-huh.'' I nodded dumbly.

''They'll be here in less than an hour, so pack up.'' I couldn't think properly. If I had been clear at that moment, I should have listened more carefully. 'Two of mine for two of theirs' I wish I had listened. But I was so stunned with the whole situation that I just blindly walked over to my room and started to change into my normal clothes, glad I didn't have to wear the stupid outfits anymore.

I was getting out.

I had gotten my bag back. Except they'd stolen the guns, that I'd stolen. Luckily the sweaters and pants were still in there.

When I walked out of the door, Noah and Dr. Stevens were waiting for me. I gave Noah a nervous smile as we walked next to each other through the halls.

My heart was pounding, my knees were shaking and I was sweating. I was hoping everything would go well, nothing would happen and we'd all just walk away from here. Then everything would just be a memory.

When we arrived at the hallway where in a few minutes the group would appear, I saw five officers forming a barricade. Beth was standing behind it and my heart jumped slightly. She wasn't part of the deal. But I won't just leave her here. So I grabbed Beth's hand as if trying to tell her we won't let her stay. She didn't look at me, just stared straight ahead.

My mind was racing, going through every possible scenario. My closest escape, if anything went wrong, was straight ahead. Which was where my group would appear. I also eyed the gun from the officer in front of me, whose name I didn't know. If things went downhill, I'd grab his gun and make a run for it. Maybe kill Dawn in the process.

After a few second we heard footsteps nearing the tension in the air grew. I saw Dawn becoming more nervous with each second and I noticed how she kept clenching and unclenching her fingers around her gun. She was slightly shaking, but covered it up by holding her head up high and training her eyes on the door. The rest of the group was calmer, but still prepared.

When the group appeared behind the double doors my heart skipped a beat. They were really here. Dawn nodded at her officers and they put their weapons back in the holsters.

''Holster your weapons.'' Dawn said over the radio, so that Rick and the other could hear it through the officers that they'd captured.

There was a second of nothing and then the doors opened.

Walking at the front were two officers, Daryl and Rick were pushing them forwards. behind them was Olivia, Sasha and Tyreese. Not everyone was here. Which was understandable. I just hoped everyone was alright.

When Daryl's eyes connected with mine my heart started to pick up it's pace.. I wanted nothing more that to just run over to him and wrap my arms around him.

Olivia was staring angrily at Dawn, obviously super annoyed with her. I thought of the sweater I had in my bag and couldn't wait until I finally hand it over to her.

Dawn seemed to observe everything and everyone, as if she was still figuring out what her best option was.

''One of yours for one of mine.'' She stated.

''Alright,'' Rick told her. It was great to see him again. These 5 days had been too long for my liking. I just couldn't wait to get over there.

I let Noah go first, so that I could bring Beth with me. Things went pretty smooth, Rick brought the first one towards Dawn and Noah walked over so that they met halfway.

Then it was my turn. I pinched Beth's hand real quick and then I stepped forwards.

''Beth's coming with me.'' I told Dawn and started to walk forward, hoping she wouldn't stop me. But of course I was wrong.

''Beth wasn't part of the deal.'' A flicker of fear crossed my eyes, but I quickly hid it before I turned around.

''She wants to go home.'' I told her, ''You can't stop her.''

''It's okay.'' Beth told me, tugging at my hand, but I refused to let go. She wasn't getting off that easy.

''Well if she's not staying, I want Noah back.'' When Dawn said that I did let go of Beth's hand, but to my surprise she didn't walk away.

''No.'' I told her. At that point Rick stepped forward, obviously having to interfere before things would go south.

''If the girl wants to go home, you can't make her stay.'' He told Dawn, who seemed to be growing tenser and tenser within the second.

''One of them is coming back.'' Dawn said, pulling her gun out. In a swift motion Rick also had his gun out, but not raising it yet. Dawn also had her gun lowered, not feeling the need to aim yet.

''Stop it.'' Beth turned over to me, her eyes connected with Rick for a second before turning back to me. ''That's enough.'' With those words she walked over to Dawn, staring her down. I wanted to grab her and quickly run away.

Beth's voice sounded hoarse as she spoke.

''I get it now.'' What happened next was so quick that I couldn't even process it. Beth stabbed a scissor in Dawn's shoulder and the loud sound of a gun went off. As Beth's body collapsed in front of Dawn.

I stared down in shock at Beth's body, lying on the ground.

''No,'' I whispered, taking Rick's gun and without a second of hesitation pointing it at Dawn.

She started to say something, but I didn't hear it. I was so full of rage, there was a slight 'beep' in my ear from the gunfire.

I pulled the trigger without any hesitation, watching as her head snapped back and her body dropped lifeless to the ground.

At that point everyone had pulled out their guns, but the woman Rick had captured stopped everyone from shooting.

''Stop! This was just about her.'' She said, pointing to Dawn.

I didn't hesitate to drop down next to Beth. Turning her around so she was facing me. She wasn't supposed to die, not like this. She was supposed to see her family again, I had wanted her to. Her body was still warm as I grabbed Beth's hand. I was almost afraid to touch her. As soon as I felt her hand in mine the first sob came out. I tried to cover it up by placing my fist against my mouth. It didn't help the second sob. My body bent over and I placed my head against my arms.

Not again. I'd lost someone. Again.

My throat felt thick as I turned to Daryl, who was standing behind me. His arms wrapped around mine in a hug and I placed my cheek against his chest.

''I'm sorry,'' I choked out. I didn't know if it was for Daryl, for Beth, for Rick, for everyone in general. Daryl buried his face in the crook of my neck as an answer. I shut my eyes tightly, trying not to think about the dead girl next to me. Or the dead woman a few feet away.

I focused on Daryl's touch. On his chest against my head and let him carry me away. Away from this shitty world.

* * *

 **This was it guys. The first book is officially over. Wow, I can't believe it. It took me almost a year to write it and now it's finally done. I wonder what you thought of it, I will still read every review you guys make. And thanks for everyone who has been here for this journey. The second book will be up soon, I'm not sure how soon. It depends on the pace I have while rewriting (or in some cases just editing) this book**. **Let me know what you want to see in the second book, even though I've already written half of it, and how you want Aubrey's and Daryl's relation to play out. Who you want to see live and who you want to see die.**

 **I love you guys and thanks for being here, reading it and reviewing it. Thanks for enjoying it and I hope you will stay tuned for the second book.**


	57. Announcement

So hey guys!

I'm currently still editing this, but I'm also writing the second book. So that's why everything's taking a bit longer. But I have a date! I'll publish the second book on the 1st of September (2017). I hope y'all are excited!

I have been working on a title for the 2nd book. I have just recently found one that caught my attention, but I was wondering if you guys have an idea for a name. I'd love to hear it :D

Well Cheers and have a nice summer!

Lots of Hugs and kisses,

 **EB1793**

PS. I know my grammar and spelling is incredibily weird in this announcement, but just let me be okay. It's late.


	58. Chapter 58

Hey guys!

Sooooo, I just published the second book. It's called Peace & Noise, so check it out if you want :)

I will upload every week. And I already wrote 10 chapters or so, so you'll have at least consistent uploads for 10 weeks :D

I hope you enjoy it!

Xx


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